FabSwingers.com forum: So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sadly folks this isn't a thread on The Sound of Music (But feel free to let your nun fetish loose!).

I joined fab a number of months ago with a couples profile to do one thing. Find out how to open my wife up to swinging. I'm more interested in seeing her with other people than I am going with other people myself. (So not looking to fuck around!).

Cue chorus of people yelling "Just ask her".

It's not as simple as that, she's naturally very cautious and conservative and even broaching trying new foods the wrong way can get her to dig her heels in, so the wrong approach with something like this would be even more likely to have her refuse without thinking it through.

So I joined and set up a profile asking for advice. I spelt this out clearly in the profile text (It's still there actually).

I got lots of responses, some from people who had even read what I'd written. Most of the advice was rubbish and asking to wreck our marriage or worse.

Somewhere down the line the admins downgraded the profile to that of a single man. Which is fair enough to be honest as I am only one half of a couple. Of course beyond a few regulars hoping to be the first with her because of all the advice they'd given there was a sudden lack of people contacting me.

I've never messaged anyone to try and arrange a meet either!

I've had fun reading the forums and have taken part in some of the threads.

At the end of the day I'm not here to meet anyone, I've got all the advice I'm going to get so I might as well wrap up the profile and clear off.

If I'm successful we may return one day. Fingers crossed it'll happen, but if it doesn't work out because she isn't interested then I'm fine with that. I'm not going to do anything to ruin our relationship.

In other words I'm not going to try and nag or force her into doing something she doesn't want to do.

So thanks for the fun chats and interesting threads. Take care folks!

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have talked of the same scenario for a couple of years. We had some meets visited a club and had our own fun there. You don't have to play, just enjoy yourselves in the surroundings that your in. However my wife decided she didn't want to try anymore.

That was two years ago. Were back and were softly softly, slowly slowly having another try. The advice we have been given has been the same from decent couples and men. Take your time and go at your own pace. My wife is also very conservative in her ways, there is no changing that, but if you want her to try you have to find a way that it will interest her.

I won't push my wife to do anything that she doesn't want to do, I don't want to lose what we have. But she is interested but only at her pace.

We have now visited Kestrels a few times (played on our own) and had a meet with a single man, also going to a social very soon, she DON'T have to do anything with anyone.

It comes down to confidence for her and the concern of what she will feel afterwards. She will play when she's ready and when she meets the right guy or couple.

Communication is so important between you, but remember to back off if she feels pressured.

That would be my advice from someone in a very similar situation to yours.