FabSwingers.com forum: i love chams but .....

By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

prompted by another poster...

i have had great nights at chams, but have only been there for big party nights, the BBWs and pussy posse ,i find men far more forward than at other clubs. They touch without invitation and join in without asking.

so do u think this is a party thing or a chams thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difficult to say, as I have only been there on non-party nights twice, once on a Saturday and once on a Sunday.

It is less crowded, and members only on both occasions, and I do not recall any issues.

I would be inclined to conclude it is more to do with the party thing than a Chams thing myself.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

Ty for answering...several posts on your thread got me thinking. i don't mind the touching,but wud prefer it didn't happen...and then i realized it never happened anywhere else.

i wonder how many men who have never been to a club go and have no idea of what is expected.

Perhaps some kind of ettiquette guide is needed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe there had been quite a few threads on how to behave in a club in the past.

However, like other advice threads, what works for some may not work for the others, as each to their own etc...

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"I believe there had been quite a few threads on how to behave in a club in the past.

However, like other advice threads, what works for some may not work for the others, as each to their own etc...

lol...i saw

however all clubs have their own ground rules, wud it not be worth publicizing these at parties to keep everyone informed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know it happens at kestrels as it happened to me yesterday and has happened at paradise spa as well so think maybe it's a club thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men are like this as they pay lots of money to attend and expect a ride lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hmmm yes i know men pay alot of money to get in clubs which the right and wrongs of has been discussed elsewere but i think toching etc without at least a nod and ESPECIALLY joining in uninvited is not good just cause you pay to get in does not guarantee anything, the ladies in the clubs are not prostitutes after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hmmm yes i know men pay alot of money to get in clubs which the right and wrongs of has been discussed elsewere but i think toching etc without at least a nod and ESPECIALLY joining in uninvited is not good just cause you pay to get in does not guarantee anything, the ladies in the clubs are not prostitutes after all

Totally agree after yesterday it's so nice to hear that thank you x

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

at my usual club, la chambre in sheffield, a 'handsy' guy will at best get a stern talking to, at worst be frogmarched out of the building - whether hes a single man or half of a couple makes no difference. And even in the open rooms guys are not allowed onto the beds without a clear invitation. As i said on the previous thread i was shocked to repeatedly find guys on the beds, ready for action with no invite - if i was not so outspoken and bolshie i may have felt that i had to say yes! I am aware that the beach party is a one off, but at no point on our whistle stop tour was ettiquette mentioned. At lc it is drummed into newbies that without a clear invitation you don't go there, and even to check if you're not sure that the invitation was directed at you. I certainly haven't let this behaviour colour my visits to chameleons, but i do wonder how many newbie who shyer decide that clubs may not be for them after fielding so much uninvited groping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I go to chams without being an event on there is no problem. X

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

in all the clubs that i've been to all new comers are given ground rules and one of the most stressed is 'don't touch without asking and no is no' some may chose to ignore those rules but I've only seen it happen once andthe guy was quickly ejected from the club. A bit of common sense is all that's required really! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definitely say its a party thing. It was my first social and I am a regular at Chams and the behaviour was definitely different.

I've said this on another thread (sorry didn't see this one then) but everyone is excited to put faces to names and everyone is in high spirits, so the rules of swinging bend a little. It was like a big hippy love in.

I am not prudish and I messed around and joined in with silly fun with forumites and I wasn't offended by them as hopefully they weren't by me. But on a normal night guys wouldn't come up and grope my boobs without saying hello. I don't dress like a nun ever in a club, but even so, guys don't usually do that, they just stare which I accept as being appropriate as I wouldn't dress in that way, I'm an exhibitionist.

However a lot more alcohol is consumed and that alters behaviour, combined with a feeling of already having insight to someone via the forums. I won't ever play with anyone whose been drinking because for safety reasons everyone needs to be aware of the rules, alcohol makes it blurry (and causes brewers droop).

But if I'm honest women can get away with being touchy feely much more than men can. I have had banter many times in a club and touched guys in a jokey way. Mind you I wouldn't just grope, I would say something like 'mmmm those muscles, can I feel how firm they are' or 'ooo your skin is so smooth, can I touch'. I've never been refused. Women seem to be allowed to get away with this Benny Hill' type behaviour much more than men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did not use the public rooms for play this time as I usually do, I kept it private as I felt a little uneasy that people weren't complete strangers to me.

But even if fun and silly behaviour happens in the social areas at Chams, which is acceptable and is fun, then this shouldn't be carried through to the playrooms. A different kind of fun should go on there and there is no room for loud racuos behaviour in there. The rules should always remain very clear when playing to protect everyone.

Never touch without agreement, don't stand too close wanking, because if you touch a woman sexually uninvited and she says no, and you ignore it and do it again, then technically it moves from a bit of fun to a sexual assault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would definitely say its a party thing. It was my first social and I am a regular at Chams and the behaviour was definitely different.

Haha that's a fair point I get that happening to me when i'm there where a woman will come up and grope me in a very sexual way ,bold as fuck and i'm like whoa.They grab your dick and all that and I usually pull away after she reaches in for a kiss.It's a funnything because I dont feel the need to report her but I know if it was the other way around there would have been a different outcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its a lot of mens fantasies that a woman would just come up to him and without speaking run her hands over him and feel for his cock and get down on her knees to suck him. But its one thing to imagine Elle Mcphereson doing it, but not the same in reality when she's a 70 year old toothless 20 stone woman.

I do go up to guys I fancy and come out with these pervy, cheesy, innuendos, but I do ask and wait for a yes before touching a guy. I wouldn't touch his cock either (well not for the first 10 seconds), I do touch his chest or bottom if I am allowed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually I dont fantasise about that at all lol.If i fancy a woman I tap her on the shoulder or a slight nudge.If a woman I fancy walks up and starts talking dirty or suggestive I would probaby chuckle lol as I find dirty talk funny .

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I always was on the understanding that where ever you go.. party night or other.. 'No' means 'NO'? So if people cannot understand that, make a complaint to the club owners/staff and get those persons removed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I go to chams without being an event on there is no problem. X"

I disagree, as I have been touched uninvited by the regulars there in the past.

They have not done it since after I informed them I was not interested.

Perhaps a social event attracts and allows more newbie single gents into the club, and give the regulars a false sense of security and think they may be able to get away with more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say that I went with a friend on Sunday night, it was my friends first time but not mine. Far too many people there, heating full on, too much chlorine in one of the jacuzzi's so overall the experience put my friend off and he is not keen to go again.

We were only approached by one person in the cinema, I was sat astride my friend at the time, he did ask if it was okay to touch however he tried anal/dp without asking and kept touching my friends nuts and as he does not do males under any circumstances, you can imagine what that did to his hard on

the man was apologetic though and said it was his first time, and birthday too

On our way out, there was a row going on with a couple and a single male, he had been following her and wouldn't leave her alone even when told, he didn't like being told either. So I think there was a few incidents on Sunday night with guys not behaving

The other times I've been I have only been touched without asking by one man and I just kept moving his hand and he got the message in the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When in the jacuzzi early on yesterday, a gentleman took his lady friend there for the first time (he is a regular of Chams), and sat at one end of the pool.

A gent came along, instead of taking up spare spaces around the pool, and there were plenty at that time, he put himself next to the newbie lady.

And when she moved closer to her gentleman friend, he moved closer to her.

She was nervous and uncomfortable, and mentioned this to her gentleman friend, who then requested the other gent to give his lady friend some space.

He replied he was only trying to be friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgot to add I have not seen that gent there before, and believe he could be a newbie.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i can only talk about my local club on the night that i go... but our party nights the one thing that is stressed is etiquette... the other issue those is if you tell this to people and then they see other doing something completely different then it does look very awkward...

another thing is that there has to be a certain amount of self policing that goes on... for example people trying to without condoms get pulled up rather quickly.. same with those who follow round... I can imagine if a place is in effect "too busy" then some of that may well be harder to notice, but again people have to stand up and be prepared to polite but forceful, or to go to management....

we had an incident on the party night before last where one half of a couple was being a jackass, he was told but other members his behaviour was unacceptable.. he was then turfed out by management...

we have has situations where both couples and other singles have been asked to leave...

it may be a case of telling people that unacceptable behaviour comes with consequences.. but because they don't see others go, they think that because they pay money they are bulletproof...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i im a single male and go to a club and do not expect to get a ride and the club i go to i use the sauna which is great and the showers which are just so then i go back to the lounge in the robes the clubs provide try to chat to any1 i like or is looking at me giving that hint that a chat may be wanted then i go to the _iewing area do like to watch and will only touch or get invoulved if asked or signalled to get invoulved not all men are predetors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've experienced unwanted attention from some guys everytime we have been to Chams, apart from couples only nights, so much so that we wont go if single guys are allowed in.

We do play with singles, but an invite to one is often seen as a mass invite by other guys who may happen to be there too.

It can be pretty daunting to new people and it becomes a right pain to the regulars to have to keep saying "no"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its par for the course that women have unwelcome advances in any club anywhere around the country. I have guys sitting too close in the jacuzzi, I have guys putting their legs full out so I trip on the way in, hopefully on their cock, and I am followed around, leered at and suggestive comments all the time, but that's par for the course in any club in any city. If I dress provocati ely then I accept a certain amount of responsibility, its a look but don't touch policy. I don't get offended by those kind of happenings.

If it gets too much either I tell them to stop it or my partner does. If anyone touches me and they tend to start by brushing your leg or your arm then I brush them off. If someone is wanking too close I just say 'sorry guys your making me feel a bit threatened can you give me some space'.

But on a party night there is no membership, guys get in who are on the list and members of Fab. They haven't gone through the membership process that Chams operate. They haven't had to wait 6 months for membership, they've got in so why not just go for it and act in any way they want - not as if their membership can be revoked is it. Real members value their membership and would probably act in a different way.

And there's the fact that alcohol is free flowing at parties. It isn't on regular club nights. That's not to say that noone drinks on normal nights, but its a conscious effort to do so. You have to go to the. Bar and ask staff for your drink. If you are very d*unk, they can see and they will chuck you out. When its unregulated and freely handed out in the fun party sense, its no wonder the instances of bad behaviour go up on party nights

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

In response to this thread, I am going to write an etiquette guide to Chameleons Parties and will send them to each and every person that puts their name on the lists.

I will speak to the Management and ensure that anyone entering the club on one of the FAB parties is given a copy of the guide and they are asked to read it whilst getting changed.

I can't do much more than that other than cancel the parties and leave people to their own devices.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Have to say that I went with a friend on Sunday night, it was my friends first time but not mine. Far too many people there, heating full on, too much chlorine in one of the jacuzzi's so overall the experience put my friend off and he is not keen to go again.

the man was apologetic though and said it was his first time, and birthday too

The other times I've been I have only been touched without asking by one man and I just kept moving his hand and he got the message in the end."

if people have problems, either find me, jason, femme/big bad, or a member of staff and we will deal with it IMMEDIATELY.

Without knowing, we are powerless to do anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one should not touch unless there is mutual consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are always instances of bad behaviour from guys, single or in couples, every night you go there will be someone whose a nuisance. Idiots in every situation in life. Bad behaviour happens but at a b ig event there's a few more instances.

Same as everything, a popular pub will have instances of trouble every Saturday night. You stick U2 performing in that pub one Saturday night, more people, more excitement, instances of trouble will rise dramatically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was ok i dealt with mine.

but the party was fun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In response to this thread, I am going to write an etiquette guide to Chameleons Parties and will send them to each and every person that puts their name on the lists.

I will speak to the Management and ensure that anyone entering the club on one of the FAB parties is given a copy of the guide and they are asked to read it whilst getting changed.

I can't do much more than that other than cancel the parties and leave people to their own devices."

Thank you, that would be a massive help, but there is no need to put yourself out. There's only a few of us really who have expressed how we feel, and it seems the majority of people can take it or leave it.

We didn't come on Sunday for family reasons, and actually only decided we weren't coming till 8pm.

You do a great job Maddy organising these events, and no one can look to you to do any more than you already do

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

While we agree staff need to be told, otherwise they cannot address an issue, and Chams is a rabbit warren, staff should also have their senses attuned to look out for or pick up on any issues themselves and shouldn't always wait to be told before they say something and intervene.

They know the club rules, the regulars and members better than anyone else. So while yes, people should complain, one should understand, its not always easy or desirable to do this, and staff / hosts should always aware themselves of what is going on.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

We didn't come on Sunday for family reasons, and actually only decided we weren't coming till 8pm.

You do a great job Maddy organising these events, and no one can look to you to do any more than you already do

It won't put me out and I'm happy to do it.

Instances of bad behaviour have been dealt with in the past, quickly, quietly and without 99.9% of those attending knowing about it. Which is exactly how it should be done.

I do understand that with alcohol, newbies, excitement, large numbers and half nakedness running rampant, there will always be those that think its a total free for all and make complete tits of themselves.

But........ as with most single guy issues (and this isn't just single guys), the minority will make it impossible for the majority.

We should never tar all single men at parties with the same brush but we should educate all.....

The etiquette guide when written will be sent to ALL those on the list...... including couples and females.

I'll start writing it when I've had some sleep as I've been at Chams for 56 hours.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In response to this thread, I am going to write an etiquette guide to Chameleons Parties and will send them to each and every person that puts their name on the lists.

I will speak to the Management and ensure that anyone entering the club on one of the FAB parties is given a copy of the guide and they are asked to read it whilst getting changed.

I can't do much more than that other than cancel the parties and leave people to their own devices."

I honestly don't think you could do any more than you did Maddie. It was an excellent party and the majority of people behaved. You are not responsible in any way whatsover for bad behaviour of others.

I'm wondering if perhaps a name tag to be attached and kept on will deter and be a help. If people can identify who the offenders are by their username, then they can be reported and refused entry on further party nights. I didn't know who everyone was so its hard to keep tags on people.

Responsible people are grateful for the hard work that Maddie put in and it was an excellent party. Shame on those who acted inappropriately, have some respect for what she did

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You cannot touch a prostitute with out prior agreement either.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"While we agree staff need to be told, otherwise they cannot address an issue, and Chams is a rabbit warren, staff should also have their senses attuned to look out for or pick up on any issues themselves and shouldn't always wait to be told before they say something and intervene.

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors whilst looking after 500 people, seeing to their needs and helping the staff out... at the same fricking time.

YOU may run your parties one way, but, as there is no where else to hold such numbers, Chams is my only option. As you stated it' a rabbit warren and unless I gain the magic ability to split myself into 30 different pieces, we are not in the position to 'police' these meets.

Adults who gain entry, regardless of who they are, if they are regulars or first timers should behave like fucking adults and use manners and respect.

Unfortunately, all very large parties have problems, from swingers parties, weddings, proms, university balls etc......

We are not alone and unfortunately I am but one person........

Until someone else takes over the FAB parties at Chams, people are stuck with me and what I personally can achieve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the one of the main thing that I see as a problem at chams are the individuals who get d*unk and get very obnoxious.As for me the last thing I am is a pest or stalker.I have too much respect for myself to be that way.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a fab time on Sunday night. No problems with single men really. One clingy one which I dealt with myself. An amazing night as always, just a shame about the jacuzzi. Felt like paint stripper on my skin xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I havent read all this thread cause I dont have time.

Will do later.

What I am going to do is reply to the last post I have seen.

Chams on Sunday was my 1st experience of an English club. I have only been to the 2 in Scotland. And in both I have experienced touching without asking, but see im an adult, and when its happened and I dont want that person touching me, I use the big round thing in my face, you no that mouth thing that we are born with, and simply say the word no.

And it stops.

As for Chams being any worse than anywhere else, well I dont have any experience of any other English clubs.

But maybe if women stopped being so wishy washy and stood up for themselves the problems wouldnt be there.

But since this is about Chams and party nights I have to say I personally didnt find anyone over stepping the mark.

Yes staff should be aware of what is going on their clubs. But we as people have to take reasonabilty for of own safety and enjoyment, that really isnt down to anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I havent read all this thread cause I dont have time.

Will do later.

What I am going to do is reply to the last post I have seen.

And it stops.

As for Chams being any worse than anywhere else, well I dont have any experience of any other English clubs.

But maybe if women stopped being so wishy washy and stood up for themselves the problems wouldnt be there.

But since this is about Chams and party nights I have to say I personally didnt find anyone over stepping the mark.

Yes staff should be aware of what is going on their clubs. But we as people have to take reasonabilty for of own safety and enjoyment, that really isnt down to anyone else.

my point exactly.and hello stranger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

end of the day we are all there for a reason BUT im not object

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"end of the day we are all there for a reason BUT im not object

I actually bumped into you at the last bbw night .With the mouth you have lol you can handle yourself pretty well lol .You were asking me if I wanted to be fuckedwith the strap on your mate was wearing .Scared the hell out of me lol.

lovely looking woman though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"end of the day we are all there for a reason BUT im not object

lovely looking woman though

u didnt say who u was LOL

ad that thought is still in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors whilst looking after 500 people, seeing to their needs and helping the staff out... at the same fricking time.

Adults who gain entry, regardless of who they are, if they are regulars or first timers should behave like fucking adults and use manners and respect.

Unfortunately, all very large parties have problems, from swingers parties, weddings, proms, university balls etc......

We are not alone and unfortunately I am but one person........

Until someone else takes over the FAB parties at Chams, people are stuck with me and what I personally can achieve. "

putting a brush up your arse maddie will only give you splinters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors whilst looking after 500 people, seeing to their needs and helping the staff out... at the same fricking time.

Adults who gain entry, regardless of who they are, if they are regulars or first timers should behave like fucking adults and use manners and respect.

Unfortunately, all very large parties have problems, from swingers parties, weddings, proms, university balls etc......

We are not alone and unfortunately I am but one person........

Until someone else takes over the FAB parties at Chams, people are stuck with me and what I personally can achieve.

putting a brush up your arse maddie will only give you splinters.

I have a splinter in my big tow and dont now where it got there

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

putting a brush up your arse maddie will only give you splinters.

Thank you for the first laugh I've had this morning

You two are fabulous......... even with the creepy eyes ....

Next time.........!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

putting a brush up your arse maddie will only give you splinters.

Thank you for the first laugh I've had this morning

You two are fabulous......... even with the creepy eyes ....

Next time.........!

"
lol I wish I was there i'm so gutted and thanks for putting my name down on the list youre a star .

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

when i had problems with a non english speaking person at a club and after imforming staff i eventully had a handful of water which went round his face to the cheers of some males who made sure i was ok

said chap complained that i had clouted him and was asked to leave building as he had been warned about harrishing ladies

and the manager made sure i was alright too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to attend daytime socials at chams years ago and the problem was there too. You will always get those who want what they cant have and those who because of paying to get in, feels its their right to some fun...

Those organising events like this cannot be held responsible for that kind of behaviour.

If offended, either deal with it as an adult or report to the management.

simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you get good and bad in all club

But then that depends what you class as good and bad

Personally if im in a open room im in there because i want to play with multipal partners, other wise id use a private room, and to be quite honest if i was mid session and someone stopped me to ask if they could join in it would just spoil the mood, maybe once or twice would be ok if if i happened several times i would get a bit pissed off, so me personally, i dont mind if guys just come over and touch so long as if i look at them and dont like them and say no they respect that

Everyones different

Whats some may see as a bad situation other may be there for that

But i honestly dont think the guys at chams are any more pushy tha any other club ive been to, and ive been to a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when i had problems with a non english speaking person at a club and after imforming staff i eventully had a handful of water which went round his face to the cheers of some males who made sure i was ok

said chap complained that i had clouted him and was asked to leave building as he had been warned about harrishing ladies

and the manager made sure i was alright too"

i was told that none English speaking people could not get membership at chams, simply because if they cant speak English they can not be told the rules nor could they understand rejection if they tried to join in and was told no

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

said chap complained that i had clouted him and was asked to leave building as he had been warned about harrishing ladies

and the manager made sure i was alright too

it wasnt at chams nn a differant one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the man was apologetic though and said it was his first time, and birthday too

The other times I've been I have only been touched without asking by one man and I just kept moving his hand and he got the message in the end.

if people have problems, either find me, jason, femme/big bad, or a member of staff and we will deal with it IMMEDIATELY.

Without knowing, we are powerless to do anything."

It was actually when we had left the building so too late then but I am guessing the single guy wouldn't take no for an answer. Will chat with her though and ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see the thing with this thread is one of the reasons I get disapointed in clubs is that I like men all handsy.. having to ask kinda takes some of it away...

Okay if not in a play area.. then I see the point.. but even so, if I got my bottom felt I wouldnt see it as lack of respect.. just see it as a nice gesture..

But then.. I also love it when guys just touch in a play area .... I hate having to say to the guys standing around looking.. are you going to stand there or play... but I am guessing its because thats normally what is expected..

I find the cinemas so much better because once started very few stop to ask.. and to me that is just better.. I am still capable of saying no to someone, or telling someone that I dont want that..

I think all these rules and ettiquete are getting in the way of fun.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh and chams I have never actually had anyone get handsy at.. either party night or other night..

Should I be offended lol

Cali

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By *andy muncherMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

the rules are in the gents locker area behave or your banned and inside the lockers just to remind you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"see the thing with this thread is one of the reasons I get disapointed in clubs is that I like men all handsy.. having to ask kinda takes some of it away...

Okay if not in a play area.. then I see the point.. but even so, if I got my bottom felt I wouldnt see it as lack of respect.. just see it as a nice gesture..

I find the cinemas so much better because once started very few stop to ask.. and to me that is just better.. I am still capable of saying no to someone, or telling someone that I dont want that..

I think all these rules and ettiquete are getting in the way of fun.

Cali "

see im 100% in agrement with you

If im playing i dont want to have to keep stopping and asking if people want to join in or to have guys keep stopping me to ask if its ok, i would find it bloody annoying

If im in a open room im in there because i want to play with multipal guys so would rather them just come over and join in

Of course if i dont like them im going to say no, i wont just shag anyone i still have to be attracted to them

but thats just how i like it

it is hard on the guys tho as they have no idea what women will flip and what ones wont lol

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"the rules are in the gents locker area behave or your banned and inside the lockers just to remind you

I must look in the gents locker room more often. I didn't know that...... mind you, I've only been going there 11 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors "

Theres some kinky people on here arent there

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors

Theres some kinky people on here arent there

Trust you!

Mind you, you missed the conversation last night with Brian concerning the round room bed, a hamster and a gimp mask.

Even Carl looked frightened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'll stick a broom up my arse and sweep the corridors

Theres some kinky people on here arent there

get that idea out your head missy x

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Thats was our 1st time in a club, and i have to admit we enjoyed ourselves. Maybe i'm wrong but is alot of the rules not just common sense, yes it may be a swingers club, but that still doesnt mean that is a free for all. I know with some people once they have consumed a fair amount of drink common sence goes out of the window (but that will happen anywhere). As it has been stated if someone is persistant or annoying they should be reported and that way it can be dealt with it.

P.S _adchick dont stop the parties, ive only started and cant wait til the next one

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

I'm trying to remember an occasion of the 'handsy' approach happening and a lady being upset so much that management was needed, but to be honest I can't..

perhaps because when I do go I spend a vast majority of my time in the Jacuzzi, cinema, round room and the curtained area of the dance floor..oh and the couples only area or lockable rooms...

i've seen ladies in the jacuzzi move away from a guy if he's to close and I suspect hands may have been used but not to the point where its caused issues or even a person being ejected from the club.

I do think alcohol plays a part at socials and personally don't believe you need it to play...

I do enjoy a drink just not when swinging and of course I'm driving any way.

as for rules of how to behave well I'm sure that as adults you know NO means NO. You know not to touch unless invited. although some do love that side of things.

An you should never use being d*unk as an excuse.

If you do find someone is repeat offending then yes management should speak to and if necessary remove the individual correctly.

but I'm curious would any guys here report a women for doing it?

to be honest I always said I would never go to a club because single men had a reputation and were called 'zombies' as they aimlessly walked around following couples and singles and I didn't want to be thought of in the same light.

I was invited by a single lady as here chaperon; and it worked very well and we only had those that we had made eye contact and conversation with play.

the lady in question could give quite

a withering look if and when needed! lol

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I frequently go to clubs as a single female. I can cope with being touched without invitation - they'll get a response from me one way or another - depending upon whether I like them

We had a bit of fun with a 'birthday' guy (no idea if it was the same one as GreyKitten encountered) on Sunday in a private room- he was very enthusiastic and a little over eager - but was cool when I decided to stop play because he was a little too demanding for my taste - that's fine - no issues with that at all.

We're also the couple who had a bit of a row with a guy when leaving (

oops - perhaps it's all down to me!!

) He had been following me around for quite a while (no touching or talking, so no problem there) and then tried to push past my husband when we retired to a (teeny weeny) private room with another guy - he didn't react well to being stopped at entering the room and got mouthy and a bit 'pushy'. It was a bit dumb of him, really, because I actually thought he was quite nice to look at - decent manners may well have got him in to first watch and then maybe join in.

I put it down to the 'it's gone midnight and I need to get a shag' desperation some of the single guys were showing (although, thinking about it now, I had seen him turn down a blatant offer 5 minutes earlier) and thought nothing more of it - until he decided to make some smart alec remarks to my husband as we were walking out through the carpark. I don't know who he was (although I do know some stuff about him which may make him identifiable) and would have said something if I'd had major hassle in the club - I didn't have a problem with being followed about - Let's face it, I had my boobs totally out, so was expecting some attention!!)

Overall it didn't spoil our enjoyment at all (we had a damn good time!

) Cheers, Maddie! x

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"but I'm curious would any guys here report a women for doing it?

I and a member of staff had to intervene once where a lady couldn't/wouldn't take no for an answer.

The guy just wasn't interested and she was shouting her gob off in the jacuzzi about how he must be blind/stupid/pathetic etc. He also had a no kissing rule.... blimey, I thought I'd heard some foul language working for the military, but what came out of her mouth even made me blush. Her poor hubby just sat there, mortified.

She was asked to leave due to her appalling behaviour.

And why was i involved......?

Because it was Jason she was yelling at.

So, yes, it does happen where women can't take a rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"prompted by another poster...

so do u think this is a party thing or a chams thing?"

I don't think its a party thing or a chams thing, I think it must be your 'come hither' look!

If you like I can lend you my 'touch me and I will snap it off' look, and you will have no further issues!

In all seriousness, never had a problem in chams on party or non party nights x

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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago

harrow

Reading this thread, I thought what was missing was any verbal communication by males, asking to touch. Then I get to the part where asking is going to break the flow and could be irritating.

Don't be surprised that some guys can't read the nuances of any given situation and cut them some slack. That said, I wouldn't want to give licence to the bores that push their luck to the limit.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

Thank you all for your input.

First Mads...the red white and blue was fab,and i will be at the next party ,u do a great job.

My post was prompted by the fact a number of people had the same complaints, and i wondered if it was a party thing or a chams thing.You see personally i am fine with being touched...and love the round room cos it is a free for all.i do not enjoy having to stop to say yes to any man who wants to join in.

But it is outside the round room that people seemed to behave a little more forwardly than i am used to.

I think iconic makes a good point about there being a familarity between forumites and other site users that perhaps gives some party goers the wrong idea.i was after all the woman gushing in the bar after meeting 2 chat mates for the first time .

To strangers it might have looked like taking liberties as the double teamed me...but they wud be unaware of the fact we talk everynight in chat...and now are good friends.However body language ect should tell someone what is acceptable

As for the fact we are adults,yes, we are , but that applies to the ability to control oneself too. A naked woman not playing is not an invitation to grope, no matter what you want to do.i have never had a problem saying no (oi who said thats cos i only say yes!

).But that does not make me a better person than someone less confident or newer to swinging.

i love the parties i have been to, lets all do what we can to make them fab! Fabio's point about self policing is a good one. i was one of the women who performed the intervention on the night he was writing about, the guy was being a twunt telling his partner she shud have sucked a guy off...not wise in a room full of geordie women

So rather than looking for causes perhaps that is the solution...not Mads doing even more work...but everyone looking out for each other.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own."

So its acceptable for men to just help themselves and grope who they want...and the onus is on the person being groped to say 'no' ?????????????...how charming!..I spose its the womens fault for daring to dress in sexy clothes?..asking for it are they????..perhaps its chams fault as well for making it compulsory for women unless they want to wear a towel of course.

Whats wrong with men actually acting like gentlemen?

So..in essence..men follow people around in packs, grope who they want when they want?...and its the persons problem and responsibility to report it..

..if Chams is one of the better clubs Id hate to think what the others are like...they must be like a bar scene from a pirate film!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own.

Whats wrong with men actually acting like gentlemen?

So..in essence..men follow people around in packs, grope who they want when they want?...and its the persons problem and responsibility to report it..

..if Chams is one of the better clubs Id hate to think what the others are like...they must be like a bar scene from a pirate film!"
So what would your suggestion be then?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"if Chams is one of the better clubs Id hate to think what the others are like...they must be like a bar scene from a pirate film!"

If only!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I think people try to over analyse others, some people will take liberties, for what reasons...who knows, as i have organised a couple of theses bashes myself i know how difficult it can be to please everybody...i dont think its anything to do with Chams as a club

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Some go to swinging clubs to grope, wank and do nothing else.

Some go to swinging clubs to be exhibitionists.

Some go to swinging clubs to be voyeurs

Some go to be gangbanged

Some go to do the private rooms

Some go for the chat.

Whatever peoples reasons for going to swinging clubs, it is only common courtesy to wait for the nod, wink, come hither look, the invite etc. It is only polite to chat to people, it is only polite to treat women AND men as human beings, not pieces of meat.

But at the end of the day, Chams is the most popular club in the country so it's doing something right.

I personally, have taken offence to the constant drip feeding of threads regarding etiquette, single men in clubs etc.

We know it happens, and if you can't say NO, then don't swing.

At the end of the day........... if people are going to critique and be snide and be sarcastic about Chams and the fact that they THINK its the parties that are the problem..........

I'll stop doing the parties and have a fucking rest because believe me, I don't do this for financial gain, I don't do it for the kudo's and I don't do it because it's 'easy'

Someone else can take over the parties and maybe I won't spend the week after a party beating myself up over the fact that I can't please everyone.

Any takers? cus I've had enough!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own.

Whats wrong with men actually acting like gentlemen?

So..in essence..men follow people around in packs, grope who they want when they want?...and its the persons problem and responsibility to report it..

..if Chams is one of the better clubs Id hate to think what the others are like...they must be like a bar scene from a pirate film!"

now please be very specific with your answer... point out in any of my posts on this subject that says it is ok for people to grope females..

or for females to grope guys..

actually I have said I have seen couples misbehave, females misbehave, wives misbehave, husbands misbehave...

no-one has the right to grope... I have said the rules ask for invitation only and I fully support that.

I also support the idea that adults can speak up for themselves and say no...

otherwise, meets in a hotel and one party goes too far.. the receptionist is hardly gonna come up and say DP is not on the menu.

People blame everyone else but often if they took more responsibility at the time and dealt with it.. but the British reserve is to pay for a lousy meal and then bitch like fuck when they get outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some go to swinging clubs to grope, wank and do nothing else.

Some go to swinging clubs to be exhibitionists.

Some go to swinging clubs to be voyeurs

Some go to be gangbanged

Some go to do the private rooms

Some go for the chat.

But at the end of the day, Chams is the most popular club in the country so it's doing something right.

I personally, have taken offence to the constant drip feeding of threads regarding etiquette, single men in clubs etc.

We know it happens, and if you can't say NO, then don't swing.

At the end of the day........... if people are going to critique and be snide and be sarcastic about Chams and the fact that they THINK its the parties that are the problem..........

I'll stop doing the parties and have a fucking rest because believe me, I don't do this for financial gain, I don't do it for the kudo's and I don't do it because it's 'easy'

Someone else can take over the parties and maybe I won't spend the week after a party beating myself up over the fact that I can't please everyone.

Any takers? cus I've had enough! "

You do a fantastic job maddy and your always gonna get people who try and find fault with everything. Its always someone else fault.

But same people wont do take on the task you do.

I often wonder why they swing anyways, maybe they need a baby sitter themselves because where im sitting, there acting like kids.

dont let the bastards get you down ok...everyone knows you do a great job.

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

At the end of the day........... if people are going to critique and be snide and be sarcastic about Chams and the fact that they THINK its the parties that are the problem..........

I'll stop doing the parties and have a fucking rest because believe me, I don't do this for financial gain, I don't do it for the kudo's and I don't do it because it's 'easy'

Someone else can take over the parties and maybe I won't spend the week after a party beating myself up over the fact that I can't please everyone.

Any takers? cus I've had enough! "

Maddie - 'twas great, as I've said above - we had a fab time - better than RWB in some ways (which was our first visit to Chams and freaked us a bit) Any 'hassle' we had was minor and not memorable enough to bother about. Roll on December and hopefully another fab party is what we say - we're just trying to figure out how we can manage another all night babysitter..

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

At the end of the day........... if people are going to critique and be snide and be sarcastic about Chams and the fact that they THINK its the parties that are the problem..........

I'll stop doing the parties and have a fucking rest because believe me, I don't do this for financial gain, I don't do it for the kudo's and I don't do it because it's 'easy'

Someone else can take over the parties and maybe I won't spend the week after a party beating myself up over the fact that I can't please everyone.

Any takers? cus I've had enough!

Mads...i wud never have started this thread if i thought it wud make u feel like that,you know i had a great time at the party i attended,and i mentioned the BBW had the same problems...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single fem, I have never had any issues at Chams or any other clubs or social events, as my direct approach, which may not be everyone's taste, never leaves the other person in any doubt that I am not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BTW, I personally do not believe the hosts of a party held at a public venue should be held responsible for the conduct of the attendees.

However, I promise I shall help out and keep my eye out for other peeps, when I am not in the jacuzzi/playing in a private room/stuffing my face with cheeze chips/dancing/socialising/etc. etc...

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own.

Whats wrong with men actually acting like gentlemen?

So..in essence..men follow people around in packs, grope who they want when they want?...and its the persons problem and responsibility to report it..

..if Chams is one of the better clubs Id hate to think what the others are like...they must be like a bar scene from a pirate film!

now please be very specific with your answer... point out in any of my posts on this subject that says it is ok for people to grope females..

or for females to grope guys..

actually I have said I have seen couples misbehave, females misbehave, wives misbehave, husbands misbehave...

no-one has the right to grope... I have said the rules ask for invitation only and I fully support that.

I also support the idea that adults can speak up for themselves and say no...

otherwise, meets in a hotel and one party goes too far.. the receptionist is hardly gonna come up and say DP is not on the menu.

Firstly..I totally agree with your last statement 100% definately a Brit thing

'View' you may not have actually said it is 'ok' but by laying the onus purely on the aggrieved party to say 'no dont please' you appear to be intimating that its 'par for the course' in clubs and people should expect it.

Your statement '''No one else's responsibility... but your own''' appears to support that...I now personally dont think you mean tit in that vein but thats what it implied.

Surely you would agree that people be they male or female should expect it..and neither should they be put in a position to have to say anything to anybody in order to defend their honour/feelings?.

That is solely the reason why I picked up on your original point...I very much doubt that you actually subscribe to the 'ive paid so i'm going to make sure I get my moneys worth' _iew anyway.

@_emmefatale...my suggestion, not 'solution' would be for men to simply act like gentlemen...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never suffer in silence, and if I am not happy about something, I shall let my sentiments known.

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

Im thinking-and I may be wrong here-the men far more pushy on a party night-as maybe they are not members and have been invited on a guest list?most regulars are polite and non pushy ,as they are not going to jepoardise their membership ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the event nights are full of more pushy people who think a no is a maybe later,

on a normal night if i go men are less pushy more friendly and less in your face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Adults go to swingers clubs...

If you are adult enough to go, you should be adult enough to say 'No, now back off'

the same as you should be able to in your home, in someone else's home, in a hotel...

if you can't, swinging is maybe not for you.

No one else's responsibility... but your own."

Agree..

Its a sex club... some people are likely to touch you up...some people will drink...some people will smoke..yes ..some people will take drugs...its par for the course in sex clubs...

Use your mouth...move away...if you dont like it.

Its a hedonistic sex club...not the W.I..

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Its a hedonistic sex club...not the W.I.."

And some people are happy being members of both institutions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a hedonistic sex club...not the W.I..

And some people are happy being members of both institutions...

Jam, Jerusalem, and a good spanking..Sounds HOT...

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Its a hedonistic sex club...not the W.I..

And some people are happy being members of both institutions...

Jam, Jerusalem, and a good spanking..Sounds HOT...

A flexible spatula has many uses!

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