FabSwingers.com forum: Innocent phrases that sound dirty

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A perl necklace would look really nice on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What comes up must go down xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What comes up must go down xx"

I actually laughed out loud.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Your nipples have worked loose"

If you are a cyclist, you'll understand

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/09/17 17:03:09]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Come with me.

That's what my doc said the other day and I was thinking yes please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come with me.

That's what my doc said the other day and I was thinking yes please

"
haha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I cum over

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Time for your physical check up"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I cum over

Of course you can

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Time for your physical check up"

Now if my doc said that is probably have wet myself laughing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking home from the school this afternoon a kid asked his mum what something in the road was. It's just a rusty ring-she said.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Walking home from the school this afternoon a kid asked his mum what something in the road was. It's just a rusty ring-she said. "

I almost spit out my drink. See what I did there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was trying to tap my card earlier whilst paying for something and the girl at the counter was getting annoyed. She turns to me and says oh just shove it in already. I couldn't help bit laugh to myself. Sometimes I think my minds just to dirty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit nippy out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How hard can it be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pull the other one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I laugh when anyone asks pass the fork n knife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insert shaft into flange.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at accessories in a cycle shop tried not to be too childish about the mega horn and pocket road.

Also washing machine adverts boasting about taking a huge load.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking at accessories in a cycle shop tried not to be too childish about the mega horn and pocket road.

Also washing machine adverts boasting about taking a huge load. "

Or pocket rocket even.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone says that's fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only poping in!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snatch test ! Railway speak!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waht to swing with me ( swings in the park )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time for your oral examination

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Time for your oral examination

Open wide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I got so wet on the school run earlier'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh it's ok I can use my fingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any beauty salon offering facials.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"'I got so wet on the school run earlier'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put some more oil through the tease hole"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just slip it in there ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where do you want it?"

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

That's a bit of a mouthful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's a bit of a mouthful"

My son is always saying that.

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Come in the backdoor

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Would you like a large portion

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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

Just taking a quick dip !!

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By *0 Shades of RedCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Pork sausage anyone ?

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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

It used to make me laugh when Andy used to say "the nipples need greasing on the car "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a beautiful snatch ( olimpic lift)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sausage in cider

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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

"Sausage in cider

Omg just got it lol !!!

That's the best so far

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

Harder. Faster

My trainer when I'm doing boxing. And she's a woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pork in cider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My helmet is nice and shiny

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Just popping out

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

At Sunday dinner" do you want stuffing"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Come in the backdoor"

My grandmother always says this. What's strong for me was the last day she said my 11 yr old nearly wet himself laughing and then wouldn't tell anyone why he was laughing

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By *lue9753Man
over a year ago

Oldham

My back door is always open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nan has got a leaking flange, under the sink of course, dirty buggers

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Open all hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make yourself at home

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Make sure you wear your wellies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like mine hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sausage in cider

Omg just got it lol !!!

That's the best so far

Justin cider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im playing with a strap on

Im playing guitar standing up ..with the strap on

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Are you coming out to play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take people as they come...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See a penny pick it up!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took a baguette off thd shopping delivery guy and said 'Wow thats a big one you have'

not sure who went redder

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Love Harvesters famous 'Spitroast'

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By *amescoupleCouple
over a year ago

north walsham

just open your mouth and say ahhhh

maybe thats just my dirty mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just open your mouth and say ahhhh

maybe thats just my dirty mind."

No I laugh to myself everytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fill her up

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By *ittle earsMan
over a year ago

south oxfordshire

Pork in cider - my favourite meal of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/09/17 21:00:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

JUST DO IT!

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By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

Stick that bun in the oven.

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By *rebor1955Man
over a year ago

Bristol

""Your nipples have worked loose"

If you are a cyclist, you'll understand "

Have you got square nipples.

Actually said by my brother to a female shop assistant in Halfords lol

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation)

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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

My , thats a big one !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always laugh when football commentators inform you a player is coming from behind , they're desperate to score, talk about dirty tackles etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always laugh when football commentators inform you a player is coming from behind , they're desperate to score, talk about dirty tackles etc "

This is funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had the big one and I blew it.

(Courtesy of Kenny Everett )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to come over mine this evening?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really need something solid inside me right now.

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"I really need something solid inside me right now."
mmmm my mans cock

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By *laytimenowMan
over a year ago

Essex

"I always laugh when football commentators inform you a player is coming from behind , they're desperate to score, talk about dirty tackles etc

This is funny

Interview between a winning jockey & a Commentator .

( Jockey) " Oh She gave me a great ride , i counldnt of asked for better, She gave me everything she had & i just had to steer her.

( Commentator ) Do you think shes got more to give ?

( Jockey ) I'd say so she had plenty left & i had to pull her up after the line .

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By *aelawMan
over a year ago

Paisley

From the movies, Lord of the rings to be precise.....

Frodo "The ring is burning Sam"

Sam "We must destroy it Mr Frodo"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a currently-airing tv advert (can't remember the product in question)

Mother: "Go play with your monkey"

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By *ister1Man
over a year ago

north west

How do you like your sausage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My flange is a bit moist.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you like your sausage "

Thick and hard

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

"Any beauty salon offering facials."

I grin every time I see this.

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By *ooner2Man
over a year ago

peterborough

when ordering a roast pork and crackling roll, the girl asked if I wanted stuffing with that.

me and the queue in the bakers laughed.

I eventually said

of course, is it extra?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These lines are all so common in an mechanical engineering environment, all too common to hear that that shafts tight in that bush, those nuts have come loose from vibration, the flange don't line up with the pipe etc. Plus all the lubricant jokes under the sun.

Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.

Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any beauty salon offering facials.

I grin every time I see this.

I could do with a facial

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humpday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can remember once when I was doing the food shop standing in the cold meat section and a dear older lady shouts to her partner "Do you want some tongue"

I was ill with laughter - the other shoppers must have thought i was mad

Grind x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How hard can it really be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/17 12:34:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These lines are all so common in an mechanical engineering environment, all too common to hear that that shafts tight in that bush, those nuts have come loose from vibration, the flange don't line up with the pipe etc. Plus all the lubricant jokes under the sun.

Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.

Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex!

Nipples

Probes

Male/ Female Adaptors

Ring Expanders

Gussett

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female dentist said:

"Why don't you drop by tomorrow around 1pm and I'll try squeeeeeze you in...."

I've never wished so much to be a victim of malpractice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this and watching Telly. PG Tips advert. Pork blow pipe servered with a lime air

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading this and watching Telly. PG Tips advert. Pork blow pipe servered with a lime air "
Served

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Engineers discussing oiled shafts and greased nipples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.

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By *l4yerMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

'O'Levels and 'A' Levels...on a CV.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Erecting an object

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By *hatterley64Couple
over a year ago

Hertford

Have a 'fab' weekend!!

I'll certainly try ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watersports always makes me giggle.....childish i know!!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Pretty sure the catering industry is the same."

Rack rate

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

S&M as in Sales & Marketing

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

He's just tied up at the moment - I'll take a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The common phrase "I'm coming."

"That was a quick one"

"How do you take it" (usually when offering Tea or coffee)

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

On delivering a parcel to Reception : "Pop it round the tradesmans entrance love"

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

" Well, bugger me"

It's a Northern expression, said in exasperation at something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop faffing around. My

Mum says this to me.

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By *lasgowman101Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.

Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex!

Nipples

Probes

Male/ Female Adaptors

Ring Expanders

Gussett

Bleed nipples too- But sounds sore!

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By *lasgowman101Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Sometimes football commentary is funny. Was listening to commentary on radio while travelling to another game a few weeks ago. when the commentator mentioned a strikers "quick penetration of the opposition's defence, he's able to move fast and get deep and that is why he scores when he gets these chances". A bit childish I know but I was in stitches.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of these are really funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please use rear entrance

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Old American bar signs

"Liquor in the front, poker in the rear"

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By *eedsortingMan
over a year ago

Radley

For some reason a couple of my female freinds don't like the word moist. I do.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Make football coach to female football team at training

Can somebody grab and empty my ball bag

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By *eedsortingMan
over a year ago

Radley

"Sometimes football commentary is funny. Was listening to commentary on radio while travelling to another game a few weeks ago. when the commentator mentioned a strikers "quick penetration of the opposition's defence, he's able to move fast and get deep and that is why he scores when he gets these chances". A bit childish I know but I was in stitches."

There's also the famous cricketing one "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willy"

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

One girl in our head office has a habit of saying "fuck me" if I ring her to explain something unusual

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

[Removed by poster at 29/09/17 10:41:44]

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Do you have rear access

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

The two dentists names on the sign outside there business

Ben Dover and Phil mccavity

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you have rear access"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please use my back door

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By *lick9Man
over a year ago

Stockport

is that to much for you to swallow ?

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By *eedsortingMan
over a year ago

Radley

You will need to reach around....

Usually makes me smile when I hear that one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"is that to much for you to swallow ?"

I almost spit my drink out

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By *exysurferMan
over a year ago

Bromley

Just been trimming my bush

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Would you like a foot long.. Subway

Those nipples need greasing.. Mechanic

You dirty cow... Farmer

Bitch.. Vet

Cumquat... Just because it sounds dirty

It's your stop cock... Plumber

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am here to trim your bush

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Watching snooker... He kisses the pink, not too hard from behind

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Would you like your sausage battered

No thank you it's delicate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would you like your sausage battered

No thank you it's delicate "

I Love a battered sausage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DIY related.

Screwing, hammering, sliding it in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open your legs and try and relax..

Oh no wait that does sound dirty..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put wood int hole (wiganer)

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"If someone says that's fab.

Always makes us wonder

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Quite a few years ago while at work I had to go do a job at a property. I knocked on the door and a lovely lady answered. Asked her where the problem was and she said 'come in and smell my passage' she then looked at me and just burst out laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone says that's fab.

Always makes us wonder"

Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone says that's fab.

Always makes us wonder

Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p"

Our have a fab day

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"If someone says that's fab.

Always makes us wonder

Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p

Our have a fab day

Sometimes we just want to tap who is near feature and see if it really is going to be a fab day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone says that's fab.

Always makes us wonder

Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p

Our have a fab day

Not when it's old old customers at work

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By *wanzMan
over a year ago

Swansea

Breast or Thigh

makes me giggle everytime someone carves a roasted bird

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"Breast or Thigh

makes me giggle everytime someone carves a roasted bird"

Light or dark meat?

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

Don't make it hard for me.

Do you need some wood?

Have you got any hole filler?

They were banging away on the site across the road.....

Need I go on? (even that kinda works)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Christmas Day]

Pull it, Pull it!. Harder

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Looking at accessories in a cycle shop tried not to be too childish about the mega horn and pocket road.

Also washing machine adverts boasting about taking a huge load. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Breast or Thigh

makes me giggle everytime someone carves a roasted bird"

My 11yr old giggles at this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's your wood?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a bit stiff

Can you get it up

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I once saw a Cunning Linguist and master debater have an argument

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh cum on

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Breast or Thigh

makes me giggle everytime someone carves a roasted bird

My 11yr old giggles at this

Is the bird spit roasted ?

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By *rbean69Man
over a year ago

Stroud

A lorry has shed its load on the motorway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago I picked up my new car and the salesman was going through the controls etc when he described the recirculated air thingy function. He said when in traffic, have it off. Well I said, that's one way of passing the time my lovely. I lost it totally after this!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

In the days when garages put car in the fuel in for you I can imagine them asking a couple in a car.

"Can I fill her up mr" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just popped in the pub for a quickie on the way home

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By *rs T and HubbyCouple
over a year ago

somewhere north of the border..

Is that airtight....mmm

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By *iboy1968Man
over a year ago

Cramlington

I like to keep my hand in

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By *iboy1968Man
over a year ago

Cramlington

The weather girl that said she had heard a phrase

It's as wet as an otters pocket outside today

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just popped in the pub for a quickie on the way home"

My husband is forever doing that

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By *randmrskinkCouple
over a year ago

South Coast

Asking for a whopper in burger king or when you prefer the footlong sub instead of the 6 inch one at subway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't come now. Something has just popped up.

A simple message to say otherwise engaged with a trivial matter.

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

After the Oxford-Cambridge, boat race, the Princess kissed the Cox, of the winning crew

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