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Invited to a swingers party... Etiquette?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have been invited next week to a small party of five couples and two single ladies from a couple up north I have never met but have a good profile with pics and Verifications etc. Problem is would I be expected to play? What happens if I turn up and no chemistry with anyone of them or vice versa? Should I just.make it into a social then?

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

No means no is always the overriding rule. I've hosted parties where a few haven't played and everyone has loved their company. Think of it as a house party first and foremost

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Have been invited next week to a small party of five couples and two single ladies from a couple up north I have never met but have a good profile with pics and Verifications etc. Problem is would I be expected to play? What happens if I turn up and no chemistry with anyone of them or vice versa? Should I just.make it into a social then?"

As always, do what you think is right for you. You’ve plenty of experience, very much doubt you imagine you have to play with people at a party if you don’t want to just because you are there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have been invited next week to a small party of five couples and two single ladies from a couple up north I have never met but have a good profile with pics and Verifications etc. Problem is would I be expected to play? What happens if I turn up and no chemistry with anyone of them or vice versa? Should I just.make it into a social then?

As always, do what you think is right for you. You’ve plenty of experience, very much doubt you imagine you have to play with people at a party if you don’t want to just because you are there."

I have a lot of experience but mainly one to one or 3sum. Have been to a party as a couple but only two couples played...With each other in separate rooms and didnt seem to want anyone to join them but only watch.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Have been invited next week to a small party of five couples and two single ladies from a couple up north I have never met but have a good profile with pics and Verifications etc. Problem is would I be expected to play? What happens if I turn up and no chemistry with anyone of them or vice versa? Should I just.make it into a social then?"

Ask the hosts. If they seem at all vague in their answers don't go.

We went to a party with people we didn't know and left before the action started because there was no chemistry. It's awkward but better than the alternative.

I would say that unless you enjoy sex for its own sake and plenty do, nothing wrong with that, make sure that there will be no pressure to play.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and I would also say that the etiquette surely is that the hosts ensure their guests are comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never expect to play - go and enjoy the chatter and flirting will happen if youre comfy with each other - when the fun starts never feel obliged to take part - have been to a party where one couple really didnt do it for a few of us - nobody was offended they had some fun and the evening was a laugh from start to finish

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"never expect to play - go and enjoy the chatter and flirting will happen if youre comfy with each other - when the fun starts never feel obliged to take part - have been to a party where one couple really didnt do it for a few of us - nobody was offended they had some fun and the evening was a laugh from start to finish "

We've been to two parties where there were two options. Play or leave. We're extremely wary now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you chatted to them and asked? If it's only a small party I'd think the women are invited with the expectation they will play. Hopefully they will be respectful but you never know.

If it was me I would have my own transport and wouldn't be drinking so I could leave at any time I wanted to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Have you chatted to them and asked? If it's only a small party I'd think the women are invited with the expectation they will play. Hopefully they will be respectful but you never know.

If it was me I would have my own transport and wouldn't be drinking so I could leave at any time I wanted to.

"

I agree. Sensible advice

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

All the above is good advice. Also ask them the profile names of other guests.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"Have been invited next week to a small party of five couples and two single ladies from a couple up north I have never met but have a good profile with pics and Verifications etc. Problem is would I be expected to play? What happens if I turn up and no chemistry with anyone of them or vice versa? Should I just.make it into a social then?"

We would say go with the expectation that you will play but be confident that you do not have to play if you do not want to.

If you go thinking you will not find anyone that attracts you it is likely you will not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"never expect to play - go and enjoy the chatter and flirting will happen if youre comfy with each other - when the fun starts never feel obliged to take part - have been to a party where one couple really didnt do it for a few of us - nobody was offended they had some fun and the evening was a laugh from start to finish

We've been to two parties where there were two options. Play or leave. We're extremely wary now."

blimey - im thinking there are different kinds of parties- private in someones home or those where people rent out an apartment ask for a 'contribution' towards costs - i have heard some where they have felt pressure to play - play or leave though is bang out of order -

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"never expect to play - go and enjoy the chatter and flirting will happen if youre comfy with each other - when the fun starts never feel obliged to take part - have been to a party where one couple really didnt do it for a few of us - nobody was offended they had some fun and the evening was a laugh from start to finish

We've been to two parties where there were two options. Play or leave. We're extremely wary now.

blimey - im thinking there are different kinds of parties- private in someones home or those where people rent out an apartment ask for a 'contribution' towards costs - i have heard some where they have felt pressure to play - play or leave though is bang out of order - "

These were both in private homes and we asked before if there was the option to just mingle socially and were told there was. They didn't say "play or leave" but it was clear that staying wasn't an option if you weren't going to have sex with someone else. If I feel under any pressure I walk anyway though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"never expect to play - go and enjoy the chatter and flirting will happen if youre comfy with each other - when the fun starts never feel obliged to take part - have been to a party where one couple really didnt do it for a few of us - nobody was offended they had some fun and the evening was a laugh from start to finish

We've been to two parties where there were two options. Play or leave. We're extremely wary now.

blimey - im thinking there are different kinds of parties- private in someones home or those where people rent out an apartment ask for a 'contribution' towards costs - i have heard some where they have felt pressure to play - play or leave though is bang out of order -

These were both in private homes and we asked before if there was the option to just mingle socially and were told there was. They didn't say "play or leave" but it was clear that staying wasn't an option if you weren't going to have sex with someone else. If I feel under any pressure I walk anyway though. "

that is awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a few party's and always send a guest list out, so everyone invited can chat and see if they feel comfortable to come, and if people don't want to play that's upto them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would would not go to a small scale party unless we are sure there is at least one person we would be willing to play with. We have been to many small parties, and it can be potentially very awkward if everybody is playing. We have also organised house parties ourselves, and we go to great pains to ensure that the dynamics are such that there is seamless play. When a party is small, anything less is very difficult.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you chatted to them and asked? If it's only a small party I'd think the women are invited with the expectation they will play. Hopefully they will be respectful but you never know.

If it was me I would have my own transport and wouldn't be drinking so I could leave at any time I wanted to.

I agree. Sensible advice"

Agree. I will have.my own car

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