FabSwingers.com forum: Lying. Thought experiment

By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

You've met someone on here for a couple of socials. They told you they were single. You got on really well, you fancied them and you arrange a sex date at a hotel.

The day before the meet they text you with "sorry, I need to let you know I am actually attached and he/she doesn't know I do this. Hope you don't mind".

Would you still go ahead with the date?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how it sits with you morally? I do meet married men but I prefer open and honest from the beginning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I like the truth up front so I can make choices made on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, purely on principle. If you lie to me about something rather fundamental at the get go, how could I trust you with my safety and wellbeing...?

No...

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Are they paying for the hotel?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Someone who does that is of the opinion that if you've got to the point of almost meeting you're going to compromise yourself for the sake of sex. I'd never meet anyone who had such a low opinion of me.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

No ...I couldnt be bothered .... I dont want any trouble ...ive had a very angry "wife" call me

He had said he was seperated .... bla bla bla .....

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Deception is deception. If they'll lie about one thing they'll lie about anything, especially if it means getting their end away.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It would ring alarm bells for me but only because I like to be upfront from the start. As a 'single' I would think twice but if I was playing as a couple then why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are married or attached I would rather know. I only meet married for one off car sex. XXX

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

How I always deal with these situations are "how would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot". So, if I were his partner/gf/bf and didn't know he was shagging other people then I would be hurt so I wouldn't go through with it. If you knowingly do something that may hurt someone else then you're just as bad as the person who is doing the hurting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found with attached people that they very easily mess you around, because something happens at the last minute that stops them being able to meet without it being obvious they're cheating. I found out someone was attached this way - I prefer someone to be upfront, which this guy in your situation has been, at least before you've met if not at first! I would definitely think twice about meeting, but I'd respect that the person had told me before we had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had this happen years ago on my old profile. She owned up to being married at the last moment after we'd been chatting for ages. I hesitated. But we did meet in the end.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've met someone on here for a couple of socials. They told you they were single. You got on really well, you fancied them and you arrange a sex date at a hotel.

The day before the meet they text you with "sorry, I need to let you know I am actually attached and he/she doesn't know I do this. Hope you don't mind".

Would you still go ahead with the date? "

Would you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on a lot of things for me. I might. I might not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had it happen to me. Went ahead with the meet. Should have listened to my instincts and cancelled. It was the start of stupid mind games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Cant trust a liar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No we would distance ourselves at that point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends how it sits with you morally? I do meet married men but I prefer open and honest from the beginning? "

This x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Wouldn't enjoy the meet with that noise in the background so, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Problem with married men by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Problem with married men by any chance?"

Quite a few singles won't meet attached people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know, but the op has posted 2 threads today about the same subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No."
wasn't to you. x

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

If I fancied him yes. A fuck is a fuck after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's easy to condemn the cheater, but not everything is black and white. People have reasons, yes there are the players and the ones who mess you around, but I've found single people can do that too.

I'm in a sticky situation,mentioned it it before. Always just wanted the NSA, but met someone, it shouldn't happen, he doesn't even live in the UK. But you can't help how you feel. We are meeting soon, then we'll know for sure.

Could be an amazing new adventure. Or it could fall flat. Nothing is certain but you have to try instead of living with the what its in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I fancied him yes. A fuck is a fuck after all

You are delightful. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm I think it's better to be upfront before the hotel is booked...

would put me off them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, why would we want to meet someone who lies to us about something we're clear about on the profile?

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By *rbean69Man
over a year ago

Stroud

Yes, but I am a single male.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are they paying for the hotel? "

They are now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big no no. I met a woman a few months ago for naughty fun, she said she was single from the start. 3 days after the meeting her husband turned up at my work, he was so angry it was unreal anyway I showed him all the messages and her profile, point is I hate a cheater. Fair enough if they say they are attached. I have a fwb who likes to film us at it then she plays it hot home for her husband to watch....

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"Problem with married men by any chance?"

No. I have a theory that blokes are less bothered about lies that women because of the supply and demand factor. I wanted to test my theory.

As it happens we would still meet if we fancied the person.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

"If they are married or attached I would rather know. I only meet married for one off car sex. XXX"

What make of car?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's happened to a the females on here? Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not once have I ever thought to check the relationship status of people we've met in clubs.

Judging by the responses here I presume most people do..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Problem with married men by any chance?

No. I have a theory that blokes are less bothered about lies that women because of the supply and demand factor. I wanted to test my theory.

As it happens we would still meet if we fancied the person. "

Fair enough, it wouldn't bother me either way, as long their hubby didn't come looking for me.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"No, why would we want to meet someone who lies to us about something we're clear about on the profile? "

You mean some of them read profiles?

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Problem with married men by any chance?"

Did the OP strike a nerve?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No... honestly is important on both sides

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't personally as once a meet hasn't been up front at the beginning I totally lose trust in that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not once have I ever thought to check the relationship status of people we've met in clubs.

Judging by the responses here I presume most people do.."

I think in a club scenario the status of all involved becomes secondary. You could be chatting with someone who's other half is already playing elsewhere, or you could meet a cheating couple who are having an affair and pretending to be partners that day.

Also in a club you have the safety aspect. If something turns sour, someone can step in. If you are alone and in a hotel with a virtual stranger who has a track record of deception, caution would seem appropriate.

Also in a club, it can be complete NSA that both parties can walk away from with no repercussions.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

"You've met someone on here for a couple of socials. They told you they were single. You got on really well, you fancied them and you arrange a sex date at a hotel.

The day before the meet they text you with "sorry, I need to let you know I am actually attached and he/she doesn't know I do this. Hope you don't mind".

Would you still go ahead with the date? "

The fact that he's married/attached doesn't bother me one bit BUT because he lied, I'd walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No as they have told a lie .so how many others have they told ?

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

"I think it's easy to condemn the cheater, but not everything is black and white. People have reasons, yes there are the players and the ones who mess you around, but I've found single people can do that too.

Could be an amazing new adventure. Or it could fall flat. Nothing is certain but you have to try instead of living with the what its in life."

This bit I agree with - I too don't condemn cheating men and women. Everyone's circumstances are different and no one can live the other person's life and understand. So it doesn't bother me if a sex partner is married. Only thing that bothers me is if they lie about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the people I meet to be upfront ~ so tell me you're attached and / or 5ft nowt

Would I go ahead with the date, I'm not too sure, depends on how I felt overall about him.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I'm up front about being married, I don't get a lot of meets, which I suspect has a lot to do with my marital status but, those that I do meet know from the start and have decided that, for them, it's not an issue.

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By *rMrs CumalotCouple
over a year ago

East Mids

No sorry we wouldn’t

If they want to cheat that’s up to them but we won’t help in this!

Also if we let someone in bed with us then we must have trust at some level and a conscious lie from the start isn’t that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, why would we want to meet someone who lies to us about something we're clear about on the profile?

You mean some of them read profiles?

If they think we're going to meet they better have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Problem with married men by any chance?

Did the OP strike a nerve? "

Not at all, said earlier in the thread that the op had made 2 threads about cheating.

I'm in a unique situation myself, but can't do anything about it just yet unfortunately, I'm sure I'll meet some understanding ppl on here, somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would most likely. Unless I was looking for a relationship from it.

Don't know their situation. One had relationship I wanted to keep but after a year no sex needed the release.

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