FabSwingers.com forum: To charge or not to charge ....that is the qwestion!!???

By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Hi to all you Gr8 Fabsters out there xx

Carl and i have beem FAB members for only 20days now!!! and seriously wish we'd done this years ago!! "it simply the best desision we have ever made!!"

I've just discovered these Gr8 forums and have spent the last few hours relaxing and proof reading through loads

I couldn't help noticing that a Gr8 deal of members are against Hosts "charging a fee per head/couple/singles etc" @ their private swing parties (ususally @their own homes ,im presuming!??)

One particualar member mentioned £340 was the total collected from a party she attended recently!!!???

Well ALL I can say to that is ,i recently organised a G/B with 6 guys ,the G/B organiser himself and Moi!

The buffet cost me approx £100 and drinks £147 .Straberries , Marsh mallows n chocolate~ sauce,sqwirty cream ,nibbles and ice as extras (and that was for just 8 people !!

My fiance "willingly paid ALL THIS!!" as a treat 4 my birthday xx

The hotel we booked was £131 on top .....so

how on earth can ppl expect to host a larger event with food/drinks/nibbles/BBQ food etc without accecpting a small contribution towards these massive over heads !!

We can see that IF you were say invited to a swing party and were charged "say £40 a couple" hyperthetically speaking

and there was very little to eat and no provided alcohol as such,then "YES!!" we'd have to agree that this would be rather cheeky and a crafty way of "making themselves a few easy qwid" on the side !!

;-)

BUT THINK ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE !!...

Before the event ,they possibly had to hire a cleaner,clean carpets,purchase extra bedding,waterproof sheeting;-)

dissposable glasses cups plates cultery,flowers,toiletries condoms ??

lube/toys ?? im guessing here lol

sqwirty cream ?? and pay a babysitter to take the kids away for the weekend lol

......i dunno lol ??? All i can say is

"knowbody forced them to pay that much OR made anyone go anywhere they didnt want .

We personally would disscus this with our chosen couples wayyyyy b4 the event and get2 know what every one liked.(food wise) As for alcohol ,every one could BTOwn and that way it would severly keep costs down *(we would then provide the soft drinks ice glasses lemons and so on)* but knowing us, we would contribite aswell xx lol

What do other members think of our idea?

& i know this sounds a daft qwestion ,lol,but do they all stay over or go home after the party,cos a "full English would defo have to be provided " if thet stayed @ours lolxx

Luv Alex n Carl xx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

after reading all that... i think for a lot of people there is a huge difference between what is deemed as covering costs and what is seen as profiteering.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

To be honest i dont mind contributing towards costs if they genuine costs but if i feel the organisers are taking the piss and trying to make a profile i wont

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

£18.00 per person for drinks, how the hell did they perform

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By *exy6768Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Last time i organised a party i took all the cost as it was my party just asked evetyone to bring there own drinks and i just provided nibbles, its like geting a invite to ur mstes house but when i get there they as u for X amount to cover the cost.

Some people really take it to far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

Crazy money, even half of that would be a decent spread.

Everything about those figures smacks of hey look at how much we spend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

absolutely no need to spend that sort of money on food,drinks etc ppl that are attending a house party are not there to eat (well not food anyway

)and every house party we have attended everyone brings a bottle,cans etc.all that is needed is a finger buffet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wouldn't it be best to pre-arrange guests to bring their own drinks and nibbles?

Its the courteous thing to do anyway.

Its not come dine with me, its more like come 69 with me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion, if you are hosting a party, then you should do so out of good will and not expect people to pay for the pleasure. Most people will bring a bottle and generally people dont expect a huge banquet either, a few nibbles dont cost the earth.

I would rather go to a club and pay the entrance fee than pay a couple for the pleasure of their company. I would feel that they were only swinging to profit rather than genuinely wanting to do this.

People at a swing party do not expect much, other than what money doesnt buy, and thats a good laugh, good atmosphere, good times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my opinion, if you are hosting a party, then you should do so out of good will and not expect people to pay for the pleasure. Most people will bring a bottle and generally people dont expect a huge banquet either, a few nibbles dont cost the earth.

I would rather go to a club and pay the entrance fee than pay a couple for the pleasure of their company. I would feel that they were only swinging to profit rather than genuinely wanting to do this.

People at a swing party do not expect much, other than what money doesnt buy, and thats a good laugh, good atmosphere, good times. "

i couldnt agree more

Before i moved to dudley and i lived with the ex we used to host parties every now and again and we never charged anyone a penny, tho we didnt go to the cost of £247 for food and drinks

we did used to fill the fridge with cans and put on a small buffet if anyone wanted other drinks they would bring them themselves, but we invited people and we decided to buy the food and drink so wouldnt have dreamed of asking people to chip in on arrival

To be honest most people are happy with that as they dont want to stand around eating and drinking all night anyway, you only need something for people to pick on while breaking the ice and get talking and something while they taking a break between sessions

The idea was never to keep people noshing in the kitchen all night

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By *havenangel1Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I would rather go to a club and pay the entrance fee than pay a couple for the pleasure of their company. I would feel that they were only swinging to profit rather than genuinely wanting to do this.

People at a swing party do not expect much, other than what money doesnt buy, and thats a good laugh, good atmosphere, good times.

i couldnt agree more

Before i moved to dudley and i lived with the ex we used to host parties every now and again and we never charged anyone a penny, tho we didnt go to the cost of £247 for food and drinks

The idea was never to keep people noshing in the kitchen all night

Now this i agree with we don't go to parties to eat and if we are gonna pay £20 to get in i'd rather pay to get in a club and get my money's worth

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Thanx to everyone that read my letter and expressed their opinion so openly!!

We obviously paid the Hotel price for the 8 meals (Sorry!! i should have pointed that out~we ALL had a meal)and the drink that was left over ,we also took back home ,so nothing went to waste !!

Let US add ,WE DIDNT charge anyone "anything!!" ,i thought i'd point that out again lol !!;-) i was merely attempting to point out "how expensive " things can be ....& for the record ,most of the guys drank or RED Bull lol(without the vodka!!!! "so knowone abused the alcohol @all!!) & Know one was d*unk either !!!

.......we were far too busy TBH lol xx

I think personally,(For OUR future house parties )if everyone brought their own drink,and the host did a small buffet/nibbles,then eveyones happy

Since i placed that 1st letter,ive had dozens of replies agreeing with the same TBH and a few ppl have even mentioned that they were charged because their host's had outside caterers in !!!! and ALL their chosen friends had agreed to pay !!

So tbph,we're ALL DIFFERENT PPL.,and having spoke to dozens more ppl since, & as one luvlie member pointed out "ive been an Avon Rep.for 38yrs now and the differing buffets party hosts put on were unbelievable!! (even though i'd say just a cuppa tea n cake ull do!!) lol ~which TBH i had to laff and agree with

~so NIbbles it is !! xx ~ (and ) you DO ALL go home after !! aswell ...."phewwww!!" xx tc Fabsters xx

Alex and Carl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did ask ev eryones opinion and we gave it, so please don't be offended by the disagreements. The overuse of the ! And the capital letters within your post signify that you were not happy that people disagreed.

It is up to you how expensive you want a party to be, but be mindful that if you start paying for a hotel venue and a three course meal for everyone and drinks, then it is going to cost you. Why should people have to pay for what you have chosen. I used to have childrens parties at McDonalds, I didn't ever ask the parents to share the cost, if I wanted to do it cheaper then I could have done jelly and icecream at home.

I'm assuming you are not experienced club promoters. If I want to pay an entrance fee I will go to the professionals who know what they're doing.

If you are finding cost an issue then rethink your party style. Like naughtynymphos has said, she bought nibbles and some cans of beer. Noone would expect her to fork out hundreds of pounds to feed people. You could go to Iceland and buy a few party packs and everyone would be happy. Or, during the evening after the first session has finished and people are resting, all chuck in some money and order a chinese or pizza. People will bring their own drink, bottles of wine etc.

Noone expects full meals and if they want something extra they will pay a club for the pleasure.

And as for cleaning/breakages etc, if I have a christmas party for family I don't expect them to pay for professionals to clean my carpets afterwards. I've never seen anyone break anything but keep mindful of the numbers you invite and put valuables away until after the party.

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Thanx Fabio baby for that xx

We've had over 50 luvlie messages now saying just the same TBH xx

we're sure that there's many ppl out there simply use this as an excuse to make a bitta cash,whuch is a bit cheeky so say the least!!

We would neva charge and have had had loads of ppl want to come to our very 1st party xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its taking the piss basically, I don't mind bringing a bottle to a party but given my finances, if I had to pay that kind of money to go to a party, I wouldn't go and in effect, it would probably work out cheaper to go to Chameleons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given a choice I would pay the money to a club and get a larger variety of choice when talking that kinda cash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Organise a cheaper party and use budget chain hotels...

Tell people to bring their own drinks, I would avoid too much drinks. A d*unk men or women at a sex party is not good...

That's now down to about £100...And within the price of your hobby/fun/weekend out....Have fun

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

We have never (as yet) had a swing~party at our home.

My 50th Birthday G/B was a very very special "secret 30yr fantasy TBPH" and so quite obviously i wanted it to be as memorable as

possible (hence the nice Hotel etc)

I wouldn't of dreamt of ever asking my guests to contribute towards the cost,i was merely "attempting to point out" what a party could cost and try and back up those hosts that do charge a small fee x(wish id bloody well not bothered now PMAOL!!)

PS: I wasnt aware that my English teacher would be marking my letters lol

;-);-) with his "red pen out "

PPS: It's a brilliant way of getting to know ppl & just a bitta fun after all~surely?? xx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I didn't read your post as you were going to charge people,maybe asking for a contribution to cover costs, but then lots of people ask for that.

Infact I read some of it as asking for advice , ie do people get chucked out or stay the night.

I think the difference is is what Fabio said, covering expenses is a whole different ball game than making a profit.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can people please stop ridiculing posters over their spelling as you are likely to put people off posting.

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

weve not had a swinging party at home but have hosted birthday parties engagement parties {biggest being a 21st where a had around eighty guests]I allways do my own catering,including a 13th party where we hired a cricket club.I head down the local shops and fill up with party food,what im saying is it doesnt cost that much ,most I spend was 100.00 pounds you just spend the day over the cooker lol.the op is extremely generous for spending so much.we go to a lot of private swinging parties,we always take our own alcohol,weve only been asked to pay once for attending a party but didnt stay as they were taking the piss for charging-we could see a money making scheme if ever there was one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy to hear you had a great 50th and that you'll remember it. That's the most important thing. You probably won't remember the cost in a few months.

As for charging guest, like everything on here it's a personal choice. I have never charged any of my guests as I believe if you can't afford to be a host then maybe you shouldn't be. Most people bring a bottle anyway, once you introduce money into the equation it can change the dynamic.

Cash and swinging, not a great mix in my view.

Welcome to Fab.

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

"Happy to hear you had a great 50th and that you'll remember it. That's the most important thing. You probably won't remember the cost in a few months.

Cash and swinging, not a great mix in my view.

Welcome to Fab. "
I agree

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"after reading all that... i think for a lot of people there is a huge difference between what is deemed as covering costs and what is seen as profiteering....."

Surely profiteering is becoming a business.

I used to vanilla socialise with a group of around 120 people and once a year we would hold an event where for the evening up to 5 couples would host a starter then another 5 for the middle and so on for the main and then all back to one address for the sweet course.

What ever group you were in for the starter would then split and meet a differnt group so you were never eating with the same people for each course but all back together for the sweet.

It was around a £10-£15 a head and no body was out of pocket and we'd even cover the wine costs with extra drinks being taken to the final venue.

Fab evening was had by all and no profit made.

If you choose to hold a large party what's wrong with people bringing a course/snacks etc and their own drinks?

Unless you're after making a profit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

To be honest i dont mind contributing towards costs if they genuine costs but if i feel the organisers are taking the piss and trying to make a profile i wont

surely they are entitled to a profile just like anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never ask for anything, if they ask us what to bring, we just say bring anything special you want to consume yourself.

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

thank you to ALL of you 4 welcoming us both so nicely pmaol!!

only joking !"!! lol

were newbies and so have to ask ,to find out!! xx

3weeks in & TBH "i aint doing that bad i dont think??" A G/B ~ D/P ~ 5sum lol & 5 overnite Hotel meets in just 20 days membership ????? xx

oh ....and IF ya host a party at home lol ....we put on a small buffet and you lot bring the booze ya want to drink ..."GOTTIT!!" pmaol xx tc Fabsters xx

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

THANKS "Rugby does" ~ he's appologised personally hun xx he just ment my txt slang eg St8 etc ~ so no offence taken truly xx BUT ty very much for ya genuine concern babes xx Mwah Alex xx

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By *punkloverCouple
over a year ago

hatfield

i suppose there are two trains of thought.

1) Its a present to each other

2) In this day and age of tight finances it is fair to share the cost of it all as everyone is enjoying the get-together

As long as there is no money making involved as that surely suggests a different intent !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to host parties very succesfully, the largest about 40 people but usually around 20 people, we put on a buffet, soft drinks expecting people to bring their own alcohol.....however we usually emptied the drinks cabinet some of which was d*unk.....must have cost ver £100 for food.....havnt really added it up.

We never charged as we put the pary on and invited people thru party listings on this and other playing sites...to our home it didnt seem right.

however after hosting all the parties in excess of 20 we recived about 2 or 3 invites to parties hosted by our guests. and they where from the same 2 couples.

Made us think either people just look for a party as a cheap alternative to a club or we are crap boring people, often in messages from people wanting to come we would be promised plays fun etc only to be let down...in the end we got to the stage where we think that people just abuse your house and hospitality......

If you are thinking of taking the leap and hosting at your hose then please think first...you open every aspect of your life and your families life to strangers......who will have acces to all your house.

We may have another party but one thing for sure it will be with trusted good friends.

Mike bit of Tiggy and Mike

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

To be honest i dont mind contributing towards costs if they genuine costs but if i feel the organisers are taking the piss and trying to make a profile i wont

surely they are entitled to a profile just like anyone else

Playing devils advocate I take it

Cause I just know you don't need it spelling out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

To be honest i dont mind contributing towards costs if they genuine costs but if i feel the organisers are taking the piss and trying to make a profile i wont

surely they are entitled to a profile just like anyone else

haha yes i did notice the mistake as soon as i posted it but.....to be honest i was to lazy to correct it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£247 on a buffet and drinks for 8 people?

To be honest i dont mind contributing towards costs if they genuine costs but if i feel the organisers are taking the piss and trying to make a profile i wont

surely they are entitled to a profile just like anyone else

haha yes i did notice the mistake as soon as i posted it but.....to be honest i was to lazy to correct it

gave me a giggle so all good.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

At a guess, I would say we have been to about house 10 parties, and have NEVER been asked to pay. We offer to bring some nibbles, but usually are asked just to bring the usual, booze and condoms. If one of our friends asked us to contribute towards the food, we would happily do that, probably up to about £5. Some put a great deal of time and effort into their parties, but they do it for the fun and enjoyment, not to make a profit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i had a party at mine for vanillas....it would be bring ya own and the food/nibbles are put on...

If i had a party for swingers. it would be bring ya own and food /nibbles would be put on....no difference.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

My only objection to paying for any party is when people make obvious profit from it!

There was a couple on here that used to run "socials". They already had the room and that cost them nothing and it was unused. They provided a buffet and a disco and charged £10 per person.

On top of that they charged for drinks, making a profit from that. Given that over 100 people went, that is £1000 + drinks. Must have been some buffet and who did the music, Dave pearce?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

however after hosting all the parties in excess of 20 we recived about 2 or 3 invites to parties hosted by our guests. and they where from the same 2 couples.

ive never used parties as a cheap alternative to a club, to be honest i much prefure house parties, and tho im always very grateful of invites and go to any if possible i can not ever return the compliment as i have kids so its impossible for me now to host house parties

I used to when i lived back home and was with the ex as my kids was young and i had family close by who would have them over night, but now my circumstances have changed, im now living away from my family and my kids are far to old to be palmed off with a baby sitter so i can not have parties

Not inviting people to my parties does not mean im using them in any way, because im not, its just we are not all in the possition to hold parties

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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago

MacKay

A buffet for 8 costing £100? And Drinks for £147?

Ok well I'd never have alcohol at any party I held anyway. But I have to wonder a little about the food. At £10 a head I can do a 3 course meal! Sure I won't profit much but I'd still deliver for friends.

Now do you really think guys care about clean carpets and strawberry's?

I hate to tell you but come to London and I'll show you some venues that guys happily fuck in and they are FAR from clean in any way shape or form!

Guys will screw in a toilet babes!

If you had 10 girls, then this would be well received, but guys will take a hot dog and warm beer with a gang bang ... you over did it to suite yourself an not your audience.

The rest of the people you hear taking £340 for a GB are doing it for pure cash. It's basically prostitution and meets the legal definition.

Clubs charge men £60 to go in and 'might' not have sex. Though most clubs I've been to hire girls to clean, suck, fuck and clean the guys off. (Clean with baby wipes!)

Next time, get some bread rolls from Sainsbury's at the end of the day on price discount, some frozen burgers, a couple of onions and a case of beer.

If anyone in London wants a really exotic or themed party organised, with food and decorations, give me a call

I've only done this kinda of thing for 25 years!

xox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wish i was there....ive been saving these coppers for years!

imagine the faces as u drop ur load....(of coppers) hahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahaaa

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By *ssentialminx2011 OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

WELL ~ WE "NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS" EXPECTED TO GET 'SUCH' a Gr8 response to such a simple letter!!! lol x

It clearly seems that "like us " the vast majourity of lovely genuine FABSTERS feel exactly as we do

;-) IE: If WE host the FREE house party & a simple nibbly buffet & soft drinks,& our chosen guests bring their own prefered alcohol with them xx Byee 4 now xx Alex & Carl xx

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I would rather go to a club and pay the entrance fee than pay a couple for the pleasure of their company. I would feel that they were only swinging to profit rather than genuinely wanting to do this.

Agree totally. There's another side to all of this that people don't realise too. That is, if you keep it as a "BYOB" style "no charge" party, and someone should get injured in your home, you'd be covered under your house insurance for any come-back on you, as house owner, should anyone sue you for loss of earnings etc (you'd be surprised how sticky it gets when things go wrong) HOWEVER, if the insurers get a sniff of the fact that you are profiteering, and running a business from home, then your insurance claim will become invalidated leaving you to carry the financial can personally.

That's one of the big differences between parties for profit in houses that charge, and clubs. Clubs have licences, insurance, fire certificates etc, and when you pay your admission as a punter there, you have your rights protected.

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