FabSwingers.com forum: 'Real' BDSM

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you guys think when you hear people claim to practice 'real' BDSM?

For instance, I was just blocked by someone who claimed that I 'clearly do not practice real BDSM, as [they] do.'

It seems that I made the mistake of revealing that I like to cuddle with my Dommes during play...

Apparently, 'real' Dommes NEVER allow their subs to touch them; and 'real' subs NEVER venture to ask if they might do so...

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

I've never heard anyone claim to practise 'real BDSM' but anyone claiming that they do things properly and that the way you do things is not real I would consider to be pretentious arse wipes.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I've never heard anyone claim to practise 'real BDSM' but anyone claiming that they do things properly and that the way you do things is not real I would consider to be pretentious arse wipes."

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

There is no such thing as 'real' BDSM apart from the version agreed and practiced between two (or more) consenting adults, and anyone suggesting otherwise obviously doesn't understand the dynamic fully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no such thing as 'real' BDSM apart from the version agreed and practiced between two (or more) consenting adults, and anyone suggesting otherwise obviously doesn't understand the dynamic fully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree. What a dull world it would be if we all did the same thing.

You do whatever makes you both happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you guys think when you hear people claim to practice 'real' BDSM?

Not much. Each to there own and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the badge and diploma they give out at The University of Real BDSM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real BDSM, true subs, true Doms.... How tiresome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Real BDSM, true subs, true Doms.... How tiresome!"

Exactly.

BDSM has many forms and the relationships and dynamics changes between all participants.

Sounds like they wanted something different from you but that isnt to say their way is 'real.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Real BDSM, true subs, true Doms.... How tiresome!

Exactly.

BDSM has many forms and the relationships and dynamics changes between all participants.

Sounds like they wanted something different from you but that isnt to say their way is 'real.'"

If i had a pound for every time someone has said I'm not a (real) sub... It's simply we're not compatible - get over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each relationship is different. I'm sure as they practice "real" bdsm they would know that.

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By *eadonistCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ashton under Lyne

BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ignore them as they are clearly just a fuck dom/domme or whatever.

I also always have a lot of aftercare during and after any scene with a dom. I especially get after care during a scene if they have really pushed my boundaries. As it's also their way of showing gratitude that I trusted them enough at that point to let them do that, aswell as it settling me down again so we can continue with our scene.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

i can't even dominate a guy on anything more than a basic level unless he knows i care for him, affection could definitely be a part of what i enjoy.

i think role play maybe isn't real but fuck knows really.

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By *eadonistCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ashton under Lyne

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS."

Genuinely Thoight it was our version. . Least that what I have been told for the last 15 years.. . But everyday is a school day I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never heard anyone claim to practise 'real BDSM' but anyone claiming that they do things properly and that the way you do things is not real I would consider to be pretentious arse wipes."

Always this!!

They can say whatever they like about how I do things, I couldn't give a fuck. I'm happy and that's all that matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She must have been a twoooo domme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She must have been a twoooo domme. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS.

Genuinely Thoight it was our version. . Least that what I have been told for the last 15 years.. . But everyday is a school day I suppose.

I would not be put out for not knowing that interpretation of BDSM as I suspect 90% of the people use the term like you do and understand it as you do. See extract from Wikipedia note the second paragraph.

The term "BDSM" is first recorded in a Usenet posting from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).

BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real Dom, Real sub and terms like True Dom and True sub just make me think the person using them is a bit of an arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS."

That's BDDSSM

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By *mnipotent_BehemothMan
over a year ago

near Merry Hill shopping centre

After all said and done the 50 shades factor has caused even more issues, when I started in BDSM and fetish when I was at university its wall all very underground, you had to know someone who knew etc, then the Internet arrived and sites were set up and this worked well for a long time, the network or Munches appeared and grew and a nice social network of well manned people on the whole who were mates, oh but then kink became trendy and the eticate went down the toilet.

But.....

You know what it's about whatever floats your boat and the person your playing with, my pet hate is how Master/slave Dom/sub gets mixed up two very different dynamics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not sure 50 shades is to blame for anything. I do no know a single man that has read the first book to the end let alone the series. I know a number of women who have. I would suspect as in many things the internet has given more access.

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By *mnipotent_BehemothMan
over a year ago

near Merry Hill shopping centre

"I am not sure 50 shades is to blame for anything. I do no know a single man that has read the first book to the end let alone the series. I know a number of women who have. I would suspect as in many things the internet has given more access. "

It created a discussion, an idea in people's minds even if they haven't read it, you only had to witness the kind of people turning up at munches etc, the tv documentarys that came along at the same time did the same if not more to create a 50 shades affect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS.

That's BDDSSM

We all cant agree on the acronym.

How on earth can we all agree on who's way to play is the only right way??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After all said and done the 50 shades factor has caused even more issues, when I started in BDSM and fetish when I was at university its wall all very underground, you had to know someone who knew etc, then the Internet arrived and sites were set up and this worked well for a long time, the network or Munches appeared and grew and a nice social network of well manned people on the whole who were mates, oh but then kink became trendy and the eticate went down the toilet.

But.....

You know what it's about whatever floats your boat and the person your playing with, my pet hate is how Master/slave Dom/sub gets mixed up two very different dynamics."

I used to think like that but there is no rule book saying you can't mix it up a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But.....

You know what it's about whatever floats your boat and the person your playing with, my pet hate is how Master/slave Dom/sub gets mixed up two very different dynamics."

How very dare the general public want to have fun when they aren't part of the BDSM elite. I fucking love the 50 Shades effect. It made people feel more confident about trying something they might enjoy.

If someone wants to be my slave I ask them what they mean. I don't need to read a text book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy being made to wear a leather hood by a guy I meet, seems to make meeting more intense. He has promised to show me more as we meet more. Really enjoy being sub as not tried it and didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I do.

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By *roncoverssereneCouple
over a year ago

NearYouVille

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

Actually you're incorrect. BDSM is

BD Bondage and discipline

DS Domination and submission

SM Sadism and masochism.

I like engaging in BD and DS."

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By *arklordMan
over a year ago

rugeley

"What do you guys think when you hear people claim to practice 'real' BDSM?

For instance, I was just blocked by someone who claimed that I 'clearly do not practice real BDSM, as [they] do.'

It seems that I made the mistake of revealing that I like to cuddle with my Dommes during play...

Apparently, 'real' Dommes NEVER allow their subs to touch them; and 'real' subs NEVER venture to ask if they might do so...

I think it would be time to do a u turn and avoid them like the plague

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think they have the badge and diploma they give out at The University of Real BDSM. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This....what you both do and decided as long as it's safe sane and consensual really doesn't matter to anyone else's thoughts.

Don't let it bother you Op.

Enjoy the dynamic that YOU have

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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago

Reading

"What do you guys think when you hear people claim to practice 'real' BDSM?

For instance, I was just blocked by someone who claimed that I 'clearly do not practice real BDSM, as [they] do.'

It seems that I made the mistake of revealing that I like to cuddle with my Dommes during play...

Apparently, 'real' Dommes NEVER allow their subs to touch them; and 'real' subs NEVER venture to ask if they might do so...

A Twue domme then, who need to get over themselves...

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

The only 'non real BDSM' scenario would be where a man/woman uses it to be abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no such thing as real Bdsm. There is however many different degrees of it. None are right or wrong, only different. Bdsm is the most complex thing we have ever come across and those that rush are total fecking idiots. Learn, discuss and when you've done that do it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM means

Bondage

Domination

Saido

Masacisum.

Which to be honest is a vauge as everything else in here..

Kink is what you make of it. . If cuddling is part of your scene, then so be it.

The "Real Doms" are a bunch of pretentious morons at times, (normally in a suit, white shirt, black tie, gloves).. So fuck em, do what makes you happy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One persons kink is the next persons vanilla ice cream.. that's the nutshell version...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we all threw the rule book away when we decided that we wanted something a little bit different to have an added element of fun ?

This fun can be only had between trusting ppl and with the bdsm put into the equation a very frank chat about boundaries !

Boundaries are there to be pushed ! But only by both parties consent which we believe is done when some caring between all parties is there to make sure that the fun stays there at all times

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

Ignore them! Not such thing as said! It's heading for a collection of kinks, there is no right or wrong, same as sex! What you might love the next will hate! It's about what works for you not tucking a box for someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as everyone is enjoying themselves who cares what BDSM means

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

There is no 'real BDSM' only what consenting adults do together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you guys think when you hear people claim to practice 'real' BDSM?

For instance, I was just blocked by someone who claimed that I 'clearly do not practice real BDSM, as [they] do.'

It seems that I made the mistake of revealing that I like to cuddle with my Dommes during play...

Apparently, 'real' Dommes NEVER allow their subs to touch them; and 'real' subs NEVER venture to ask if they might do so...

Omg you did what. How dare you cuddle eachother.

Quite frankly don't give a damn about others opinions

It's your game you make the rules. Simple as that

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