FabSwingers.com forum: fault

By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

if u meet a guy and he cant get hard after bragging about how horny he is on the phone, is it the womens fault?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quiet simple no ! then again there's always a wee tab he can take LOL

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

no some people just talk a good meet on here lol! over compensating springs to mind .ive had guys state they are fantasic at oral and last ALL night .... the reality is alot different lol .some people will streatch the true to get a meet ,take any bragging like that with a pintch of salt ! i find those who are actually fantastic in bed really dont feel the need to boast .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No some men like to blame the woman though. I get more turned on with some men than i do others. Could be feeling a bit tired or anything.

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"no some people just talk a good meet on here lol! over compensating springs to mind .ive had guys state they are fantasic at oral and last ALL night .... the reality is alot different lol .some people will streatch the true to get a meet ,take any bragging like that with a pintch of salt ! i find those who are actually fantastic in bed really dont feel the need to boast ."

Couldnt agree more, ive never had the need for someone to tell me beforehand how fantastic they are in bed beforehand. If they did it would totally put me off meeting them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loss of nerve, something has put him off, too much alcohol, certain medical conditions etc., could result in erectile dysfunction.

I would be inclined to be sympathetic towards the gent, as he is likely to feel embarrassed about it. Besides, there is more than one way to please a lady!

If he tries to blame me for his under-par performance, then I would respond in kind as I am obvious too hot for him to handle!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then"

that old chesnut !!! pmsl !!! id bet a pound to a penny it has happened before dispite his potest. guys arent machines and these things happen ! he was embarressed after all the build up he made . you exspected fireworks and instead of a roman candle he could only produce a damp squib .some men and their fragile egos ! lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then"

you should just turn round and say yo have never had a guy fail to get a hard on when with you so who knows where the problem lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then

My thoughts too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he was afraid of going off bang too soon and had a wank beforehand.... and his recovery time is not as good as he thought it was!

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Shit happens, don't blame your self or you will end up with a complex. I'm sure you will have the next man rock hard no trouble. Chin up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He could just be nervous BUT (and I don't mean to offend) but maybe you wasn't what he was expecting. I must admit that I've seen some pictures and thought 'nice' but when I've met them in person It's like someone else has turned up.

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

"He could just be nervous BUT (and I don't mean to offend) but maybe you wasn't what he was expecting. I must admit that I've seen some pictures and thought 'nice' but when I've met them in person It's like someone else has turned up. "

Know the feeling, works both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know the feeling, works both ways

Yeah I look like shit in real life AND on pictures

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Sex is so much more than penetration, i hope the guy didnt leave feeling it was his fault

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

no i felt it was my fault, because he said it had never happened before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt think so unless you managed to put Bromyd in his tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not believe anything someone has said without independent verification.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it incredibly amusing when guys blame the female for their lack of erection when we all know its down to nerves or feeling under pressure. A woman generally would not be phased and wouldn't mind, after all it happens to most men at some point or other. Just like us girls can't always orgasm - its a whole factor of things.

I think its disgusting when people try to apportion blame elsewhere though, they are happy to make someone else feel crap because of their own problems.

Its common to do this though, you only have to read back on the 'does smoking cause a less firm erection' thread to see quite a few men quoting that it was nothing to do with smoking but because they didn't fancy the woman, as reason for not being completely hard - do we really believe that if Elle Mcphereson was stood in front of them it would be a different outcome, I think not

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It looks like I am in the minority here, I feel sorry for the man.

There could be lots of reasons why he couldn't get it up and I can understand the OP feeling like it was her fault....but thats not the mans fault.

We had a regular who after the 4th time of meeting couldn't get an erection, we didn't make him feel bad about it and on the fifth meet his hard on was back...it turned out he was stressed at work and it obviously spilled over to his hard on.

Give the man a break, I bet he is feeling worse than you.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"It looks like I am in the minority here, I feel sorry for the man.

There could be lots of reasons why he couldn't get it up and I can understand the OP feeling like it was her fault....but thats not the mans fault.

Give the man a break, I bet he is feeling worse than you."

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By *hiluk1ukMan
over a year ago

Prescot

To be honest, there can be various factors why you can't get an erection, including nerves as mentioned, but sometimes if the women doesn't turn me on it is difficult, as I may be able to get an erection but whether I can maintain it is another matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I agree that it isn't the guys fault and it happens. It certainly doesn't bother me as I don't expect a certain standard of sex anyway, I have that with the OH. The threesome thrill for me is the sense that its really naughty and taboo so I really don't care.

My problem is the apportion of blame. If the guy specifically told the woman it was her fault then that is wrong. If he didn't say that at all and she just made the assumption it was, then that is her issue and not his.

Every guy has had this happen at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had it when a guy came in mins i and got the blame he said i was too tight. no other guy has complained about this.

it can be nerves though if an erection cant be sustained. only happened twice first guy just left second laughed about it and we went for a drink instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens lol

Though he really shouldn't blame the woman

Alcohol stress and being tired

I would seriously question any male that says it had never happened to him xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"..... but sometimes if the women doesn't turn me on it is difficult, as I may be able to get an erection but whether I can maintain it is another matter."

If it's not a silly question, why would you try to have sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on? Just have a drink/chat, say "sorry, the chemistry isn't right", and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I had said before, I too would be sympathetic towards the gent.

However, if he tries to blame it entirely on me for his failure to get a hard on, then my claws will come out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have seen it happen to husbands with their wifes present who cant keep it up so usually its a long standing problem or stage fright with other guy there.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"To be honest, there can be various factors why you can't get an erection, including nerves as mentioned, but sometimes if the women doesn't turn me on it is difficult, as I may be able to get an erection but whether I can maintain it is another matter."

Ok I might be reading this wrong, but why would you be having sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I might be reading this wrong, but why would you be having sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on?

...saves wanking?

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Ok I might be reading this wrong, but why would you be having sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on?

I know that there has been times that I have fancied the pants off someone visually and liked them to chat to etc. But for some reason when it has got down to the sex part they just haven't turned me on.....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok I might be reading this wrong, but why would you be having sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on?

So it could mean he fancied her but when it came to her getting him going then it wasn't so good?

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"My problem is the apportion of blame. If the guy specifically told the woman it was her fault then that is wrong. "

Give the poor guy a break! All he is reported to have said is "It has never happened to me before" He didn't blame the OP and maybe, just maybe he was so embarrassed by it, that he was saying that to save face.

I feel for the guy and have been through it myself, just the once! We were playing and the hostess said about going in the Hot tub. It was minus 5 outside and I don't really like tubs that much anyway, but she insisted! When we got out, dried off and went back to the bedroom, I couldn't get it up! No such problem before the tub!

In that case, I was told that I was useless and I had let her down. Made me feel bad and to be honest, we haven't played since with anyone.

Ladies would do well to remember that where'as they can grit their teeth, lie back and think of (insert country), men have to physically get it up!

Having said all that... To the OP. No matter what the reason, it wasn't you! Even if he really didn't find you sexually attractive, not your fault. We all have our turn-ons! BUT, I would think it was nothing of the sort, he was just overwhelmed by the situation and that was it!

Just move on and enjoy yourself. Another little notch on the pole of experience

xxx

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Ok I might be reading this wrong, but why would you be having sex with a woman who doesn't turn you on?

So it could mean he fancied her but when it came to her getting him going then it wasn't so good? "

Yes and no...

I can only talk for myself but know that it has happened a couple of times to me where we just haven't been compatiable when it has got to the sex bit.

It's not something you can really know until you get down to it.

The couple of times it happened has been when we have kind of jumped in and not really discussed our likes / dislikes etc before hand.

Probably not explaining myself very well but I know what I mean, even if no one does.

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

was a shame really, we had chatted and spoke on phone for a while then met yesterday and went to a hotel, once there he got hard for a couple of minutes then it went down and wudnt come back up...all he wanted to do was get dressed and leave as quickly as poss, he kept saying sorry, saying it had never happened to him before...so i figured it was my fault...

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By *hiluk1ukMan
over a year ago

Prescot

I wouldn't be but what I am saying is that with a woman that doesn't turn me on I could make myself get an erection but whether it can maintain itself is another matter. If you turn it around the other way, if I am with a woman I am very attracted to I don't even have to think about it and I can stay hard for a very long time.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"was a shame really, we had chatted and spoke on phone for a while then met yesterday and went to a hotel, once there he got hard for a couple of minutes then it went down and wudnt come back up...all he wanted to do was get dressed and leave as quickly as poss, he kept saying sorry, saying it had never happened to him before...so i figured it was my fault..."

It's a real shame he thought sex was about the erection...sounds like u didnt miss much

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

" he kept saying sorry, saying it had never happened to him before...so i figured it was my fault..."

Sounds like he was just embarrassed by the situation and its not your fault.

You are a better person then me, as I would have pointed and burst out laughing xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves probably got the better of him. Then got really embarrassed about the situation.

Being female I can't talk about erections, but I know if I get too nervous my libido disappears & if I was in his shoes I'd feel mortified.

I don't think it's your fault in the slightest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then"

maybe he was embarrassed and his ego was dented so was looking to point the blame elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just one of those things. shit happens.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"he said it had never happened before so guess it was me then

maybe he was embarrassed and his ego was dented so was looking to point the blame elsewhere"

BUT he didn't say it was her!!! He was apologising to her, not accusing her of being the problem...

Come on cute, keep up hunny xxxx

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Fault...blame.... both inappropriate words. no crime was committed! Maybe a number of factors in play. Maybe just not the right chemistry. Maybe even sti... who knows. Surely a little sensitivity needed. Another good reason to get to know sexual partners as its far more laid back between you.

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