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Manners NEVER cost a penny

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk

I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks"

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By *imandHerNottsCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

abuse should be reported.

anything else costs time.

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

ham sandwich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there's no excuse for people to send you an abusive message...but i imagine these are in a very small minority...but as for not replying,please read the site rules.It explains it is not rude not to reply to a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get any abuse just report it and block them.

There are rude people of both sexes on here.

But get used to having your messages unanswered on here as it is one of the FAQ's that no reply means not interested whether you find it bad mannered or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

Its generally after the guy has read our profile ( which is unusual) but doesnt remotely fit what we asking for on our profile but still message us.....by not replying to such messages is us being polite as it doesn't deserve one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yet again what to you do when someone sends you ?

I'm cumming over your photos how

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Abuse should be reported however no reply means not interested.

I don't see what the problem is with being blanked. Block and move on.

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By *uteness69Woman
over a year ago

Walthamstow


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks"

ham sandwich "

pahahahaha

with mustard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely correct and make you stand out from the crowd which can often mean herd lol lol lol good post

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks"

ham sandwich "

You hoping for extra mayo with that?

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"Absolutely correct and make you stand out from the crowd which can often mean herd lol lol lol good post "

Thank you

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks"

ham sandwich

You hoping for extra mayo with that?"

Lol just a tomato please lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you are welcome

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk

I hear what everyone is saying, and thank you and noted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents are quite old lol so I've been brought up with old fashioned morals but I'm quite proud of that.

There's so many people that throw hurt on others as there hurting inside themselfs.

It's kind of like if they feel bad about themselves or lead a crap life then they try to bring others down in there sinking ship.

Swearing and insulting others isn't what attracts love or smiles so shine and be you no matter how tough things get.To be polite and loving isn't the norm today but I like being different and I won't and can't change for anyone.Be you be different from the rest of the sheep x

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"My parents are quite old lol so I've been brought up with old fashioned morals but I'm quite proud of that.

There's so many people that throw hurt on others as there hurting inside themselfs.

It's kind of like if they feel bad about themselves or lead a crap life then they try to bring others down in there sinking ship.

Swearing and insulting others isn't what attracts love or smiles so shine and be you no matter how tough things get.To be polite and loving isn't the norm today but I like being different and I won't and can't change for anyone.Be you be different from the rest of the sheep x "

Well put Miss. Old school manners are like chickens teeth nowadays.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"

I made hot pics yesterday with filters set I've still got I've got 525 unread messages in the last 24hrs, at 30secs each reply, that would mean around 4.5hrs to answer them all.

Now I've done had 2hrs out of my day for schoolrun routines, a 6hr shift, around another 2hrs to sort out meal times, I try to get the recommended 8hrs of sleep a night I've got about 3hrs worth of chores ahead of me now so all in all that's 21 out of 24 hours that is purely non fab related so I have 3hrs remaining and already don't have enough time left in the day to reply to all my message even though "it takes just 30secs"

It's all about perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My parents are quite old lol so I've been brought up with old fashioned morals but I'm quite proud of that.

There's so many people that throw hurt on others as there hurting inside themselfs.

It's kind of like if they feel bad about themselves or lead a crap life then they try to bring others down in there sinking ship.

Swearing and insulting others isn't what attracts love or smiles so shine and be you no matter how tough things get.To be polite and loving isn't the norm today but I like being different and I won't and can't change for anyone.Be you be different from the rest of the sheep x

Well put Miss. Old school manners are like chickens teeth nowadays."

Maybe I'm just lucky then because I find the majority of people are polite and well mannered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have an endless list of unread messages mainly because 90% of them are single guys and if I'm on here (male) I won't reply because I have no idea if my wife will be interested or not and as men are not my thing I leave them to her to look at when she gets a chance and if she likes what she sees then she might just reply if not she's busy doing other stuff and doesn't have time to tell people no as from experience its usually followed up with half a dozen questions as to why.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"

200 messages x 30 seconds = 100 minutes = 1&1/2 hours saying no thanks. Every day.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I hear what everyone is saying, and thank you and noted"

Surely you should reply to all the posters - not just put a single generic thanks?

We've spent time drafting replies to your post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But surely manners cost nothing. I find the worst thing is you are exchanging messages getting on well then the lady just goes offline. Now I understand emergencies etc but it happens a lot so it's either me (probably, before you lot say yes) or is it bad manners? Would they just walk away from a face to face conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners in general don't cost anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But surely manners cost nothing. I find the worst thing is you are exchanging messages getting on well then the lady just goes offline. Now I understand emergencies etc but it happens a lot so it's either me (probably, before you lot say yes) or is it bad manners? Would they just walk away from a face to face conversation?"

i dont think it has to be an 'emergency' to go offline...and the comparison with walking away is just silly, this is not face to face..it is sometimes a lot easier to just end the conversation with someone when you realise its going nowhere, or they have put you off by something said or unsaid.. rather than open yourself up to abuse and/or endless whining asking why.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"

30 seconds out of your day if it is only 1....

but what happens if that 1 becomes 10, and then becomes 20... or 50

and then what happens after you have said no, and then people come back asking why? are you then being rude for not answering that question?

you open up a mountain of minefields and sometimes the easiest least hassle answer is to not answer back....

people aren't owed a reply just because they send a reply? after all... you show me the person who replies to every cold call or takeaway flyer.....

on the scale of "sweating the small stuff" this should be a blip!.... maybe if everyone thought of every reply as a "no" until they actually do get a reply... it would get rid of the angst some people seem to have.....

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

and quite frankly if this is how some cope with the small stuff.... i do wonder how they cope with lifes "biggies".......

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

And once again, NO REPLY MEANS NO THANKS!

That sounds pretty polite to me. After all, the word thanks is on the end.

We stopped replying due to the 'abusive' and 'begging' and 'but why' messages we get in reply.

If a no reply upsets you, then block and move on. Use it as a filter.

We don't feel the need to reply to someone who thought they'd message us. Why should we, you choose to message, it's their choice to reply.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

We always reply to people who have obviously had the good manners to read our profile before messaging. Even if it is just a no thanks

We NEVER reply to those who obviously have not, or will send a snotty reply to those who have obviously read it but chosen to ignore it.

We make no apologies to anyone for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never be abusive to someone ... how low can you go?

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x

30 seconds out of your day if it is only 1....

but what happens if that 1 becomes 10, and then becomes 20... or 50

and then what happens after you have said no, and then people come back asking why? are you then being rude for not answering that question?

you open up a mountain of minefields and sometimes the easiest least hassle answer is to not answer back....

people aren't owed a reply just because they send a reply? after all... you show me the person who replies to every cold call or takeaway flyer.....

on the scale of "sweating the small stuff" this should be a blip!.... maybe if everyone thought of every reply as a "no" until they actually do get a reply... it would get rid of the angst some people seem to have.....

"

Good post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But surely manners cost nothing. I find the worst thing is you are exchanging messages getting on well then the lady just goes offline. Now I understand emergencies etc but it happens a lot so it's either me (probably, before you lot say yes) or is it bad manners? Would they just walk away from a face to face conversation?"

How dare the lady go off line whilst talking to you, how rude ,how dare they attend maybe there child or do every day stuff no wonder men get upset

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

I'd say the reply most likely gives you an idea of what's coming.

No reply - nothings happening

Abuse - thanks for the warning and let someone else go there and take as a lucky escape.

Reply with no thanks - decency.

Reply and conversation - decency and a bonus.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"I would never be abusive to someone ... how low can you go? "

Abusive? Thankfully nobody has pushed us that far (yet)

Sarcastic? Oh yes, regularly. Especially when someone messages us "I'm in Blackpool tonight fancy a meet" read our profile and you will understand why.

We have no tolerance whatsoever for anyone who messages us without reading our profile first.

If some want to class that as bad manners then hey ho, so be it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

It may not cost a penny to reply 'no thanks'. But it costs a lot of my time if I had to say no thank you to every man or couple who messaged me. Not replying is not rude. It's a person's way of saying 'no thank you'. As for abusive messages. That's completely unacceptable. Nobody should have to tolerate that, if the sender has been polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would never be abusive to someone ... how low can you go?

Abusive? Thankfully nobody has pushed us that far (yet)

Sarcastic? Oh yes, regularly. Especially when someone messages us "I'm in Blackpool tonight fancy a meet" read our profile and you will understand why.

We have no tolerance whatsoever for anyone who messages us without reading our profile first.

If some want to class that as bad manners then hey ho, so be it. "

Sarcasm is acceptable lol

Maybe I view abuse as something stronger than lots on here do ..

Dunno ... but I'd never give a guy (or a woman tbh) a load of abuse as I perceive it!!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I guess it boils down to differing expectations .

A single guy reads a profile , composes a good message and it gets ignored . He had high hopes , but the couple aren't necessarily looking for a meet or a conversation when they receive it , along with a dozen more equally as potentially good . So it gets deleted , and probably unread .

So it's always best to tailor a message when the couple are looking to meet , they will pay more attention then . Unsolicited messages are almost always deleted here , we have busy lives away from fab .

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"I guess it boils down to differing expectations .

A single guy reads a profile , composes a good message and it gets ignored . He had high hopes , but the couple aren't necessarily looking for a meet or a conversation when they receive it , along with a dozen more equally as potentially good . So it gets deleted , and probably unread .

So it's always best to tailor a message when the couple are looking to meet , they will pay more attention then . Unsolicited messages are almost always deleted here , we have busy lives away from fab .

"

Another good post.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

One of our favourite sarcastic (or wind up) replies is on the lines of " If you can be at ours within the hour you can fuck her brains out"

Where are you? they ask.

Read the fucking profile, we reply.

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast


"One of our favourite sarcastic (or wind up) replies is on the lines of " If you can be at ours within the hour you can fuck her brains out"

Where are you? they ask.

Read the fucking profile, we reply."

Ow sod it, so your not in France then lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they've read my profile and sent a nice message but they are not for me I will say thank you but not my type. If they have sent a hi or fancy a fuck message! It's deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rudeness is not necessary (unless you've been a jerk) but no reply *is* a reply.

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk

I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs


"I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?"

To be fair OP, you are coming across as very entitled on here. And that exact attitude why people don't reply.

Because you've not got the response you want, you've come here and been, to be fair, a bit arsey.

You come across no better than those that send an arsey message back after a rejection reply.

Only difference is, you're too lazy to do it individually so you've made a forum thread to be whiny to the masses instead.

We'll done, you've proved you can't handle rejection.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I pondered threads like yours the other day. I replied a no thanks to a single guy and got fuck all back. In fact I checked and he deleted my polite no thanks message

Is he rude OP?

Maybe he should have replied "thank you for replying"

Maybe I should have replied back, that's okay...

Where would it end?

Do fab have big enough servers for such courtesy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?

To be fair OP, you are coming across as very entitled on here. And that exact attitude why people don't reply.

Because you've not got the response you want, you've come here and been, to be fair, a bit arsey.

You come across no better than those that send an arsey message back after a rejection reply.

Only difference is, you're too lazy to do it individually so you've made a forum thread to be whiny to the masses instead.

We'll done, you've proved you can't handle rejection. "

I agree with this... I also think that a person with manners would not have written such a passive aggressive comment

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Musth in men and lust in women hit the armygadala? Spelling) in a similar way. Bypass cognitive thinking , bypass values, bypass, well most things really.

Hey it's non domestic fun.

Accept your musth doesn't align with their lust a move on...don't waste energy flogging a dead fish...

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

As said above, 30 seconds x 300 messages I currently have unread is 2.5 hours. This has gone down from yesterday as messages eventually delete themselves.

Most of these are from people who clearly haven't read my profile. Obviously lacking in manners I say

So ok I'll spend my evening copying and pasting "no thanks" then how many will respond asking why? How many will message me at a later date with the same original message? Maybe I decide to block single guys as it's getting too much but that would be pointless as my filters are now redundant due to me responding to everyone to be polite!

Ain't nobody got time for that!

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"As said above, 30 seconds x 300 messages I currently have unread is 2.5 hours. This has gone down from yesterday as messages eventually delete themselves.

Most of these are from people who clearly haven't read my profile. Obviously lacking in manners I say

So ok I'll spend my evening copying and pasting "no thanks" then how many will respond asking why? How many will message me at a later date with the same original message? Maybe I decide to block single guys as it's getting too much but that would be pointless as my filters are now redundant due to me responding to everyone to be polite!

Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Another bloody swinger with a life - how very dare you

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast


"As said above, 30 seconds x 300 messages I currently have unread is 2.5 hours. This has gone down from yesterday as messages eventually delete themselves.

Most of these are from people who clearly haven't read my profile. Obviously lacking in manners I say

So ok I'll spend my evening copying and pasting "no thanks" then how many will respond asking why? How many will message me at a later date with the same original message? Maybe I decide to block single guys as it's getting too much but that would be pointless as my filters are now redundant due to me responding to everyone to be polite!

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Another bloody swinger with a life - how very dare you "

That's outrageous

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?

To be fair OP, you are coming across as very entitled on here. And that exact attitude why people don't reply.

Because you've not got the response you want, you've come here and been, to be fair, a bit arsey.

You come across no better than those that send an arsey message back after a rejection reply.

Only difference is, you're too lazy to do it individually so you've made a forum thread to be whiny to the masses instead.

We'll done, you've proved you can't handle rejection. "

Now you are the type of person im on about, stuck up there own arse passing judgement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"
YES if you get 1 or 2 posts if you get 20/ 40 and more its hard to mail everyone back in a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?

To be fair OP, you are coming across as very entitled on here. And that exact attitude why people don't reply.

Because you've not got the response you want, you've come here and been, to be fair, a bit arsey.

You come across no better than those that send an arsey message back after a rejection reply.

Only difference is, you're too lazy to do it individually so you've made a forum thread to be whiny to the masses instead.

We'll done, you've proved you can't handle rejection.

Now you are the type of person im on about, stuck up there own arse passing judgement. "

You thinking and writing a thread about your belief that women have an obligation to reply to every message sent to them and saying they have no manners if they don't is also passing judgement OP

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Shovels usually cost more than penniless, wish you well, that is truly in a good way.

You have a set of values, only thing is not quite right for this site.

Suggest you look at the reasons for joining, your expectations and where is the fun... have fun, it would, well for me.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

To look at it another way OP - do you send polite no than you messages to the Nigerian businessman that sends you unsolicited emails offering to send you millions? Or reply to every letter you receive through your letter box offering you anything from double glazing to loft insulation and more?

You know, those messages and letters you'd not asked for but are sent anyway?

No? Thought not. So does that make you ill mannered? No, it doesn't does it? See where I'm going with this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op have to much time on his hands here and think everyone is like him .

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

I agree with what you say, however it is true that women and couples can be inundated with messages making a reply for them all very difficult....even for well crafted, tasteful messages.

I put a lot of effort into messaging and often times see them deleted with no reply. No problem, no harm done. Move on. Abusive replies to a polite query should be always reported I feel. Just my take

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we get a decent messsge then it'd be replied to, the problem is that most messages we get are quite simply, shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/09/17 21:10:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

I've never understood why anyone would get so butthurt over not getting a reply to a message as many other posters have stated,no reply = no thanks,why is that so difficult to understand? if you can't cope with that simple concept,perhaps Fab isn't for you making a whiney forum post about your butthurt just portrays you as a bit of a self-entitled snowflake dude,try getting over yourself,deal with the fact that not everyone you message is going to reply and you will enjoy Fab much more than you are with your current flawed approach as for any abuse recieved,just report it.Simple really

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

Agreed it only takes 30 seconds to reply, but a reply would mean having read the message which can also take 30 seconds. Would you reply without reading the profile first? Another 30 seconds.

It only takes 30 seconds if you reply to a messege you haven't read or viewed the profile.

Would be rude to reply no thank you if you haven't viewed the profile or even read the message.

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By *weeteamCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

We have tried the no thanks to which people then think wow I'm in with a chance they repied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't get a reply after, say, a week, just block them. Saves you the heartache of wondering.

A no reply isn't rude. It is nothing to worry about. Move on.

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"If you don't get a reply after, say, a week, just block them. Saves you the heartache of wondering.

A no reply isn't rude. It is nothing to worry about. Move on."

I'm good with the no reply, it's the verbal after trying to strike a chat

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I uploaded new pics yesterday and the amount of messages and friend requests received since then from complete strangers is unreal, so no I will not be responding to them at all.

If you think I am rude because of it, then tough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't get a reply after, say, a week, just block them. Saves you the heartache of wondering.

A no reply isn't rude. It is nothing to worry about. Move on.

I'm good with the no reply, it's the verbal after trying to strike a chat"

The block button is your friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same applies. If someone is abusive, at least you know to avoid them...

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"I have the manners to read what is put on anyone's profile and im polite as well in my messages. I'm sure most didn't get dragged up without manners and for those that think a simple "no thanks" is a mission for you well ain't you so lucky to be pestered by alot of people that can't read?

Like I said at the beginning and now, it's the verbal when im being polite

To be fair OP, you are coming across as very entitled on here. And that exact attitude why people don't reply.

Because you've not got the response you want, you've come here and been, to be fair, a bit arsey.

You come across no better than those that send an arsey message back after a rejection reply.

Only difference is, you're too lazy to do it individually so you've made a forum thread to be whiny to the masses instead.

We'll done, you've proved you can't handle rejection.

Now you are the type of person im on about, stuck up there own arse passing judgement.

You thinking and writing a thread about your belief that women have an obligation to reply to every message sent to them and saying they have no manners if they don't is also passing judgement OP "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP ...its simple...

Breath smile delete forget...

If it gets you that stressed what's the point....

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk

Right. Thank you all for you're wise words of wisdom. I don't really care about being blanked out, though a no thanks would be nice but not essential. It is the verbal from gobshites that think that they are "The one"

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"We have tried the no thanks to which people then think wow I'm in with a chance they repied"

Some folk just lurve attention, good or bad !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The same applies. If someone is abusive, at least you know to avoid them..."

Exactly, a handy filter

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

If someone makes the effort to actually read our profile - which is incredibly rare in our experience - they will get a reply.

If you get blanked, then you're probably not for them. If they get abusive - report, block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree up to a point.

I have a couples profile too with my partner Natasha. We never blocked single males, and were inundated with awful messages from single men. Unfortunately it seems it wasn't just us, and those bad few have painted single men on here in a very bad light.

The other problem they face is the fact that men outnumber females and couples massively.

Also, manners don't cost a thing, that's very true, but nobody on here owes anybody a thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"

But that's £3.96 at my usual hourly rate so manners cost quite a lot really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to respond to every message, but when your literally bombarded it can be an impossible task to do so, hence the various filters put in place, we get abused from anything from setting certain age limits to

Not responding quick enough. The disgusting names I and other Females I know well get called, are nothing short of vile, disrespectful and unprovoked, so with the upmost respect, I implore you, please consider there may be others factors contributing to a lack of reply other than sheer ignorance. And as for

Taking 30 secs to reply, single females average 300-500 messages in a day, sometimes there's just not enough hours, and I say that respectfully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I try to respond to every message, but when your literally bombarded it can be an impossible task to do so, hence the various filters put in place, we get abused from anything from setting certain age limits to

Not responding quick enough. The disgusting names I and other Females I know well get called, are nothing short of vile, disrespectful and unprovoked, so with the upmost respect, I implore you, please consider there may be others factors contributing to a lack of reply other than sheer ignorance. And as for

Taking 30 secs to reply, single females average 300-500 messages in a day, sometimes there's just not enough hours, and I say that respectfully. "

I won't expect a reply in that case haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love threads like this. Tells me exactly who to block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so true manners don't cost a penny and so many people on he lack them but theres also alot of decent people on here aswell its just it takes ages to find the good through all the bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our filters are now up very high to stop 100 of letters that's the only way I can even read post, But still don't mail everyone back I cant .. When I first come on here I would say no thanks not for me and got nasty letters calling me allsorts so felt in the end best not to mail back at all if not for me ... So i put a message in my profile saying I cant mail all back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have some sympathy with the OP's point if view, as a man on this site he is probably dealing with 1 or less PM's a week, so a considered reply is no big deal.

Make that 20 a day or more then manners do start to cost quite a bit.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x

I made hot pics yesterday with filters set I've still got I've got 525 unread messages in the last 24hrs, at 30secs each reply, that would mean around 4.5hrs to answer them all.

Now I've done had 2hrs out of my day for schoolrun routines, a 6hr shift, around another 2hrs to sort out meal times, I try to get the recommended 8hrs of sleep a night I've got about 3hrs worth of chores ahead of me now so all in all that's 21 out of 24 hours that is purely non fab related so I have 3hrs remaining and already don't have enough time left in the day to reply to all my message even though "it takes just 30secs"

It's all about perspective "

So how much time a day do you set aside for Fab?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"so true manners don't cost a penny and so many people on he lack them but theres also alot of decent people on here aswell its just it takes ages to find the good through all the bad "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone should be respectful and polite.

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum


"I do have some sympathy with the OP's point if view, as a man on this site he is probably dealing with 1 or less PM's a week, so a considered reply is no big deal.

Make that 20 a day or more then manners do start to cost quite a bit. "

I get all happy when I see that little envelope appear in the corner. Only to then realise that its admin thanking me for being a sight supporter

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I do have some sympathy with the OP's point if view, as a man on this site he is probably dealing with 1 or less PM's a week, so a considered reply is no big deal.

Make that 20 a day or more then manners do start to cost quite a bit.

I get all happy when I see that little envelope appear in the corner. Only to then realise that its admin thanking me for being a sight supporter

"

Oh bless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You eyes Bhubaysi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do have some sympathy with the OP's point if view, as a man on this site he is probably dealing with 1 or less PM's a week, so a considered reply is no big deal.

Make that 20 a day or more then manners do start to cost quite a bit.

I get all happy when I see that little envelope appear in the corner. Only to then realise that its admin thanking me for being a sight supporter

"

Aww bless. I might send you a pm for that... if you ignore it, I'll understand that it's a 'no thank you'

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x

I made hot pics yesterday with filters set I've still got I've got 525 unread messages in the last 24hrs, at 30secs each reply, that would mean around 4.5hrs to answer them all.

Now I've done had 2hrs out of my day for schoolrun routines, a 6hr shift, around another 2hrs to sort out meal times, I try to get the recommended 8hrs of sleep a night I've got about 3hrs worth of chores ahead of me now so all in all that's 21 out of 24 hours that is purely non fab related so I have 3hrs remaining and already don't have enough time left in the day to reply to all my message even though "it takes just 30secs"

It's all about perspective

So how much time a day do you set aside for Fab? "

Most of my fab time is spent online during the weekends when I'm off work or a little now while I'm laid in bed to tire me out for sleep but you can accumulate a lot of messages up to the weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!! "

That's fine you may believe what you wish

As a man it's hard for you to see the site from a woman's perspective in all aspects

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Agreed. It's only 30 seconds out of your day x"

Multiplied by the number of messages you didn't want from different jerks who didn't read your profile

MANNERS means reading a profile and only sending a message, complete with a clear face pic, if you 100% might be what someone is looking for.

That doesn't cost anything either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

That's fine you may believe what you wish

As a man it's hard for you to see the site from a woman's perspective in all aspects "

I feel your pain honey xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!! "

I had 850 on my first day. Believe what you want.

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"Our filters are now up very high to stop 100 of letters that's the only way I can even read post, But still don't mail everyone back I cant .. When I first come on here I would say no thanks not for me and got nasty letters calling me allsorts so felt in the end best not to mail back at all if not for me ... So i put a message in my profile saying I cant mail all back."

That's wrong getting abuse back. When I get a "No thanks" I actually reply "Thank you and take care"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

Ive tried the 'no thx' (again) recently after getting an offer I didn't want and I didn't get a great response!! ......... 'ahh don't be like that I love fat birds'

This isn't the first and probably won't be the last time I get a rude or abusive message as it's pretty much weekly (all men too)

NOW tell me why any woman on here should reply 'no thx' to anyone ????

According to site faq's deleting a message means 'no thx' so I prefer just to delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our filters are now up very high to stop 100 of letters that's the only way I can even read post, But still don't mail everyone back I cant .. When I first come on here I would say no thanks not for me and got nasty letters calling me allsorts so felt in the end best not to mail back at all if not for me ... So i put a message in my profile saying I cant mail all back.

That's wrong getting abuse back. When I get a "No thanks" I actually reply "Thank you and take care" "

Most and it really is MOST MEN get rude and abusive after I send 'no thx'

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I had over 400 without a profile pic even on the first day.

With filters that has now calmed down considerably.

However I have an unread message that isn't on the current page, so he's dropped off and won't reappear until I delete all read

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

That's fine you may believe what you wish

As a man it's hard for you to see the site from a woman's perspective in all aspects

I feel your pain honey xx"

Yes congrats on your hot pic too

Well deserved for a cracking smile like that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!! "

Curvymama has made page 1 of the hot pics in the past.... I believe the amount

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

I had 850 on my first day. Believe what you want."

And I bet half of those were before you even uploaded a pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can easily believe this amount of messages. Seen in the past with my own eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our filters are now up very high to stop 100 of letters that's the only way I can even read post, But still don't mail everyone back I cant .. When I first come on here I would say no thanks not for me and got nasty letters calling me allsorts so felt in the end best not to mail back at all if not for me ... So i put a message in my profile saying I cant mail all back.

That's wrong getting abuse back. When I get a "No thanks" I actually reply "Thank you and take care" "

Yes you may but others don't. The problem being you just can't tell who will and who won't. Easier and less hassle to just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

I had 850 on my first day. Believe what you want.

And I bet half of those were before you even uploaded a pic "

Yep and with minimal text on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

Curvymama has made page 1 of the hot pics in the past.... I believe the amount "

And I bet some of those messages were from same person repeatedly sending same message 'because he see you online but you hadn't replied so sent it again"

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Now I understand the ham sandwich comments. Such a shame I am vegetarian.

Sally

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

Curvymama has made page 1 of the hot pics in the past.... I believe the amount

And I bet some of those messages were from same person repeatedly sending same message 'because he see you online but you hadn't replied so sent it again" "

Oh yea you get plenty of those some don't even give you chance to even bloody read the first message before they're resending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

Curvymama has made page 1 of the hot pics in the past.... I believe the amount

And I bet some of those messages were from same person repeatedly sending same message 'because he see you online but you hadn't replied so sent it again" "

Oh yes! I'm sure are a fair few of those

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"As said above, 30 seconds x 300 messages I currently have unread is 2.5 hours. This has gone down from yesterday as messages eventually delete themselves.

Most of these are from people who clearly haven't read my profile. Obviously lacking in manners I say

So ok I'll spend my evening copying and pasting "no thanks" then how many will respond asking why? How many will message me at a later date with the same original message? Maybe I decide to block single guys as it's getting too much but that would be pointless as my filters are now redundant due to me responding to everyone to be polite!

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Another bloody swinger with a life - how very dare you "

I know, how rude of me, I mean it's taken me 2 hours just to reply to this forum post! As I am a swinger I obviously spent that whole 2 hours flicking the bean and looking for sex

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!!

Curvymama has made page 1 of the hot pics in the past.... I believe the amount "

I got up somewhere quite high on the hot pics once many moons ago and once you hit the first page that non site supporters can view, unless you filter em out you're fucked (or not if you have no manners and don't reply to a cock pic profile)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely right, ya get back what you put in. I've always been taught manners cost nothing but then what do you say when you say to a guy or couple sorry but your not for me and you get a barrage back or more often than not, you go to reply back and they've blocked you so you can't reply? Or then like tonight I got stood up, for no reason, no reason given just sat done up like a twonk tried texts and even tried ringing went straight to voicemail what happened to common courtesy of sorry can't make it or changed my mind, is society so perverse we forget to have respect for one another?! Boils ya blood ruins it for the genuine peeps x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something tells me me someone's exaggerating.......525 in 24hrs? Pah ha ha ha whatever!! "

So if on hot pics someone has 2000 fabs surely that amounts to ton of thirsty guys too? Did your message to curvy get lost

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman
over a year ago

x


"I read loads that there is a lack of manners on this site from men, well i have to say it's the same with females and couples as well. You put a nice polite message out (after reading ALL of their profile) and you either get a mouthful of abuse or pure blanked. I'm of the mind now, after a few shitty messages from others, to give them just as good back now. So just food for thought, you want respect then give it back, don't cost a penny to say "No thanks" "

Hear hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, I was brought up with old fashioned morals and I like to love, I have a crappy life so it's unfair to say I'm trying to bring anyone down on my ship, I have an ocean line cruiser lol and I get a lot of joy and happiness from being good to others but you cannot expect the same from others as that's where you will have a long fall from grace because everyone doesn't have yours or our standards x unfortunately xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks _urvymama. I've started being ruthless and deleting anyone triple messaging, it drives

Me bonkers xx

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Thanks _urvymama. I've started being ruthless and deleting anyone triple messaging, it drives

Me bonkers xx"

I'm same way in fact o just block the pesters saves future annoyance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely right, ya get back what you put in. I've always been taught manners cost nothing but then what do you say when you say to a guy or couple sorry but your not for me and you get a barrage back or more often than not, you go to reply back and they've blocked you so you can't reply? Or then like tonight I got stood up, for no reason, no reason given just sat done up like a twonk tried texts and even tried ringing went straight to voicemail what happened to common courtesy of sorry can't make it or changed my mind, is society so perverse we forget to have respect for one another?! Boils ya blood ruins it for the genuine peeps x"

That's totally rubbish and you read it so much about men, woman and couples getting stood up......also fake profiles, pic hunters basically all saddos that need to go back to the mirror a have a good hard look at themselves and understand the hurt and anger they cause.

Too many say "it's just fab.....move on" but why why should it be the norm? Why should it be acceptable? Some people on fab are rude and ignorant.....their excuses are just blah blah blah.

Sometimes some people do actually read the profiles.....double check they meet the exacting criteria required to even send a message, send a message that more that just "hi" or something equally annoying and guess what.....deleted....no reply....no profile visit........these people (I say people because I assume women and couples experience this also to a lesser extent) I understand their frustration......

Someone on another forum suggestion a automatic "no thanks" button.....maybe this would be easier to take than seeing your message just deleted....who knows!

Peace out

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

we don't get anywhere near 500 messages - in fact they're rarely in double figures - so I always sent a short, polite reply. I understand why women who are snowed under can't do the same though.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I've been on a site that has a no thanls button and then all the men just bitch on the forums that using the no thanks button is too impersonal of a response for their carefully crafted messages

You can't win for losing, people will always find something with the system that pisses them off and gives them something to bitch about

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Too many say "it's just fab.....move on" but why why should it be the norm? Why should it be acceptable? "

Because it's in the site rules and if someone gets this uptight about not getting a reply they need to maybe look in their own mirror and think about how desperate that makes them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone on another forum suggestion a automatic "no thanks" button.....maybe this would be easier to take than seeing your message just deleted....who knows!

Peace out

"

FAB has the environmentally aware version of the no thanks button, rather than waste all those electrons there is a simple single statement.

No reply or simply deleted =

Although I / we are extremely grateful for your wonderfully crafted message, at this moment in time we are unable to fuck your brains out due to other commitments. Happy swinging.

Deleted and blocked =

You are having a laugh, no chance sucker.

You are also welcome to make up your own messages for when you receive no reply. So much nicer than a computer generated no thanks

If there is a problem it is allowing people to see the status of sent mail.

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By *ackey102 OP   Man
over a year ago

South Norfolk


"Absolutely right, ya get back what you put in. I've always been taught manners cost nothing but then what do you say when you say to a guy or couple sorry but your not for me and you get a barrage back or more often than not, you go to reply back and they've blocked you so you can't reply? Or then like tonight I got stood up, for no reason, no reason given just sat done up like a twonk tried texts and even tried ringing went straight to voicemail what happened to common courtesy of sorry can't make it or changed my mind, is society so perverse we forget to have respect for one another?! Boils ya blood ruins it for the genuine peeps x

That's totally rubbish and you read it so much about men, woman and couples getting stood up......also fake profiles, pic hunters basically all saddos that need to go back to the mirror a have a good hard look at themselves and understand the hurt and anger they cause.

Too many say "it's just fab.....move on" but why why should it be the norm? Why should it be acceptable? Some people on fab are rude and ignorant.....their excuses are just blah blah blah.

Sometimes some people do actually read the profiles.....double check they meet the exacting criteria required to even send a message, send a message that more that just "hi" or something equally annoying and guess what.....deleted....no reply....no profile visit........these people (I say people because I assume women and couples experience this also to a lesser extent) I understand their frustration......

Someone on another forum suggestion a automatic "no thanks" button.....maybe this would be easier to take than seeing your message just deleted....who knows!

Peace out

"

Now that would be a class idea

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

why can't some men just accept that this site should be enjoyable for women too?

i've had over 1000 messages when not on top fabbed, which was kind of a buzz tbh but no way could i reply to all those to even reject them (and yes i had filters on).

now i don't even open my inbox at all.

but even if i don't want to respond to a mans advances then i shouldn't have to. and i don't need an excuse either. i am my own person on here looking for what i want and not her to submit myself to every man who wants a reply.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

when you approach someone you don't know you run the risk of rejection and ignorance. it really is a simple as that.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

THeres certain irony to the OP selectively only responding to the people that generally agree with him or anatagonise him, while ignoring anyone else that made reasonable contributions to the debate

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"I've been on a site that has a no thanls button and then all the men just bitch on the forums that using the no thanks button is too impersonal of a response for their carefully crafted messages

You can't win for losing, people will always find something with the system that pisses them off and gives them something to bitch about "

Earlier I had a carefully crafted message somewhere along the lines of "xx". He had put more effort into the heading... "meet sex" ah yes of course I will reply to everyone when the standard of message is so high

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

A lady showed me her unread count once. Im sure it was over a 1000. I thought at the time thats a lot. Thats a lot of time to spend just saying no thank you too. On the flip side to read a profile. Then craft war and peace two and send it. Then wait and hear feck all is no fun. So we either have sympathy both ways or neither way. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Or nobody has sauce. Personally i think the latter. Everyone should quit their jibber jabber fools. Just crack on eh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks _urvymama. I've started being ruthless and deleting anyone triple messaging, it drives

Me bonkers xx

I'm same way in fact o just block the pesters saves future annoyance "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely right, ya get back what you put in. I've always been taught manners cost nothing but then what do you say when you say to a guy or couple sorry but your not for me and you get a barrage back or more often than not, you go to reply back and they've blocked you so you can't reply? Or then like tonight I got stood up, for no reason, no reason given just sat done up like a twonk tried texts and even tried ringing went straight to voicemail what happened to common courtesy of sorry can't make it or changed my mind, is society so perverse we forget to have respect for one another?! Boils ya blood ruins it for the genuine peeps x

That's totally rubbish and you read it so much about men, woman and couples getting stood up......also fake profiles, pic hunters basically all saddos that need to go back to the mirror a have a good hard look at themselves and understand the hurt and anger they cause.

Too many say "it's just fab.....move on" but why why should it be the norm? Why should it be acceptable? Some people on fab are rude and ignorant.....their excuses are just blah blah blah.

Sometimes some people do actually read the profiles.....double check they meet the exacting criteria required to even send a message, send a message that more that just "hi" or something equally annoying and guess what.....deleted....no reply....no profile visit........these people (I say people because I assume women and couples experience this also to a lesser extent) I understand their frustration......

Someone on another forum suggestion a automatic "no thanks" button.....maybe this would be easier to take than seeing your message just deleted....who knows!

Peace out

"

On another very similar site there is a 'no thx' button and it still provokes the rude abusive messages that MEN tend to send as a response! And yes it is MEN that respond badly to being turned down not all men but most of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't people accept that a deleted message means 'not interested' for whatever reason! Just accept it and move on, we don't have to reply 'no thx' and if we haven't it doesn't make us rude or ill mannered..........

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