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First time to a singles night. What to expect

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

Hi, we are fairly new to the swinging scene, and as a couple we have been twice to La Chambre on Saturday, which is a couples night. But we are thinking of going on Friday night, which is a singles and couples night.

What, as a couple are we in for, as we have read some horror stories of single guys overstepping the mark etc.

We are hoping that it will be a good expirience. But as a couple we only play together, and are wondering if it is worth going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you going looking for single men?

You will probably find some who don't understand the etiquette in clubs but there are a lot of very polite, lovely single men in clubs.

Personally, I have no idea why they hold couples and single ladies only nights.

Make them couples only nights instead.

Why would single ladies be any more interested in couples than single men?

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Are you going looking for single men?"

No, not particularly. That is not to say the Mrs won't entertain any, but we like couples, or even a 4sum with two separates.


"You will probably find some who don't understand the etiquette in clubs but there are a lot of very polite, lovely single men in clubs."

It's the blokes who think k they can just jump in and expect it to be a free for all that bothers me. We don't mind introducing another man to our session, but it has to be on our terms, and if they overstep the boundaries they are going to get nowhere fast.


"Personally, I have no idea why they hold couples and single ladies only nights.

Make them couples only nights instead.

Why would single ladies be any more interested in couples than single men?"

No idea. That always got me how women can get in on nearly all nights on their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you going looking for single men?

No, not particularly. That is not to say the Mrs won't entertain any, but we like couples, or even a 4sum with two separates.

You will probably find some who don't understand the etiquette in clubs but there are a lot of very polite, lovely single men in clubs.

It's the blokes who think k they can just jump in and expect it to be a free for all that bothers me. We don't mind introducing another man to our session, but it has to be on our terms, and if they overstep the boundaries they are going to get nowhere fast.

Personally, I have no idea why they hold couples and single ladies only nights.

Make them couples only nights instead.

Why would single ladies be any more interested in couples than single men?

No idea. That always got me how women can get in on nearly all nights on their own."

The bit where you say a single man can join you but on your terms makes me think you may treat single men badly.

Single men are not just at clubs for your benefit. Any meet or fun between parties should be on terms that everyone agrees with, not just one side

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"The bit where you say a single man can join you but on your terms makes me think you may treat single men badly.

Single men are not just at clubs for your benefit. Any meet or fun between parties should be on terms that everyone agrees with, not just one side "

Obviously.

We are pretty laid back, but we play together and there is absolutely no bareback, that is none negotiable. But what I meant by "our terms" was, if they push the issue and we have said no, we are not going to change our minds. Pushiness will get them nowhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you’ll find the environments are fairly self regulating. Most, indeed, the vast majority of people know the rules, explicit and implied,- and will act with the good grace such situations require.

No doubt some bad eggs exist,- we see them on this site all the time, but you’re well within your rights to say no. And stick to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The bit where you say a single man can join you but on your terms makes me think you may treat single men badly.

Single men are not just at clubs for your benefit. Any meet or fun between parties should be on terms that everyone agrees with, not just one side

Obviously.

We are pretty laid back, but we play together and there is absolutely no bareback, that is none negotiable. But what I meant by "our terms" was, if they push the issue and we have said no, we are not going to change our minds. Pushiness will get them nowhere. "

Stick to your rules, don't let anyone try and bend them and if they try to, just tell them to fuck off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 1st time just look about and introduce yourself to people. You don't have to play at all. Single guys will follow you about but get your man to give them the look!

If you want to play alone find a couples only room that can be locked.

Good luck

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"I think you’ll find the environments are fairly self regulating. Most, indeed, the vast majority of people know the rules, explicit and implied,- and will act with the good grace such situations require.

No doubt some bad eggs exist,- we see them on this site all the time, but you’re well within your rights to say no. And stick to it"

I'm hoping people know the rules and have no expectations, just like most couples do. Socialising, having a laugh and getting up to stuff if and when the mood takes you is what really makes a night. If people are polite and respectful, then they will get far with us, but they have to respect our wishes.

Anyway, if we have been having a good time, half way through the night I will strap the Mrs into one of those pizza oven things, then I'm sure a queue will form lol. I'll be making sure everyone having a go is respectful and wearing a condom. So that should be fun.

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By *ontanMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I went to a mixed night with my ex to lachambre when we were still new to the scene. Nobody overstepped the line but we were never left alone... and as newbies found it a little intence. If you both no what you want and dont want you should be fine. Just dont be supprised to be very popular and mildy stalked around the club lol

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"I think 1st time just look about and introduce yourself to people. You don't have to play at all. Single guys will follow you about but get your man to give them the look!

If you want to play alone find a couples only room that can be locked.

Good luck "

Hopefully we won't be playing alone lol

That we can do at home

But we will be wary of those who think it's a free for all.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

The way single guys are talked about is very unfair , single guys don't overstep any mark , now if you came to my party group as a couple and your lady is fine, single guys will approach and talk to you but if you are not interested in playing, they will move on.

I must say that there are some diamond single guys that you will not be able to get and infact you see ladies begging them at parties and the guys will reject the ladies, I have loads of friends like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way single guys are talked about is very unfair , single guys don't overstep any mark , now if you came to my party group as a couple and your lady is fine, single guys will approach and talk to you but if you are not interested in playing, they will move on.

I must say that there are some diamond single guys that you will not be able to get and infact you see ladies begging them at parties and the guys will reject the ladies, I have loads of friends like this."

Some single guys definitely do overstep the mark at clubs.

Not all, but a few do.

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By *ontanMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Agree with both statements.

Theres good bad and ugly..

Some diamond geezers out there but as is life, there are a few that have an expection of entitlement, arrogance and just dont know when to get the hint.

But thankfully there are a lot of good guys out there. Only last night I was in quest and some of the guys just didnt want to speak and had a general fuck you attitude. But a couple of the lads were sound, we had a good laugh and got on well with a couple of couples. Fun night

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

Female half posting now...

We do enjoy having fun with others, be that couples or the occasional single, but our biggest concerns are that we're going to be harrassed really and be too pushy, or that a single guy might muscle in and push hubby out.

We'd have been content sticking with couples nights, but we run comic cons (or attend those run by our other organiser friends) which are at weekends, so Saturday nights aren't always possible for us. Which means we've brought up the possibility of going to some mixed nights. It's simply due to logistics.

As long as people are polite and respectful, we'll be fine, but it's arrogance and people being overly pushy, or trying to just get to me and leaving out hubby that we are wary of.

I guess we'll just have to bite the bullet and see how it goes.

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Female half posting now...

We do enjoy having fun with others, be that couples or the occasional single, but our biggest concerns are that we're going to be harrassed really and be too pushy, or that a single guy might muscle in and push hubby out.

"

*I meant that others might be too pushy... not that we would be!

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Agree with both statements.

Theres good bad and ugly..

Some diamond geezers out there but as is life, there are a few that have an expection of entitlement, arrogance and just dont know when to get the hint.

But thankfully there are a lot of good guys out there. Only last night I was in quest and some of the guys just didnt want to speak and had a general fuck you attitude. But a couple of the lads were sound, we had a good laugh and got on well with a couple of couples. Fun night"

I get that there are those who know the rules and are not pushy, but it also seems there are the types that can completely spoil what could've been an awesome night for people. All it takes is one tosser who thinks he can do what he wants, to ignore you telling him "no", or starts touching without being invited, to really throw things off.

We hope this is not the case, and we are great for talking to and having a laugh with, weather it be couples or singles of both genders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to a singles night in a club in France, though none of the single guys took HB's fancy, they were all extremely respectful and never over stepped the mark. Even when we played together in an open room.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"Are you going looking for single men?

No, not particularly. That is not to say the Mrs won't entertain any, but we like couples, or even a 4sum with two separates.

You will probably find some who don't understand the etiquette in clubs but there are a lot of very polite, lovely single men in clubs.

It's the blokes who think k they can just jump in and expect it to be a free for all that bothers me. We don't mind introducing another man to our session, but it has to be on our terms, and if they overstep the boundaries they are going to get nowhere fast.

Personally, I have no idea why they hold couples and single ladies only nights.

Make them couples only nights instead.

Why would single ladies be any more interested in couples than single men?

No idea. That always got me how women can get in on nearly all nights on their own."

Fanny power

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We've been to LC on a Friday, and to other clubs with single guys, and haven't had any problems at all.

Yes, you get those that follow you about like lost puppies, but I just find them sad and faintly amusing.

There's lots of lovely single guys at clubs.

Nita

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By *jr123Man
over a year ago

oldham

[Removed by poster at 11/09/17 20:40:59]

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

Don't worry it will be fine, this is just what we did, a couple of times on Sat then tried Fri. We had a great time, most of the guys are respectful and if any get pushy you just have to remind them she is your wife, and not a sex toy and they usually apologise and back off, we have never had any problems at LC's, go for it !!!!!!!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Aberdeen used to have a club operate 1 Saturday a month, it was for couples only and 1 or 2 selected single men.

I was always asked why I never went, as a single straight female I always replied with 'why would I?' I had no incentive. And I want to choose my own single guy should I choose, not just a friend of the club who I wouldn't have any interest what so ever in.

Sometime people like to slag off the singles but they rely on them to fulfil their fantasies, just a tad hypocritical in my opinion

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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago

cheshire


"Hi, we are fairly new to the swinging scene, and as a couple we have been twice to La Chambre on Saturday, which is a couples night. But we are thinking of going on Friday night, which is a singles and couples night.

What, as a couple are we in for, as we have read some horror stories of single guys overstepping the mark etc.

We are hoping that it will be a good expirience. But as a couple we only play together, and are wondering if it is worth going."
you are in a club. A safe place to be. And no means no. All members should know this. They arnt free for all. Stick to your bounderies. And be clear in what you both want. Have a good time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way single guys are talked about is very unfair , single guys don't overstep any mark , now if you came to my party group as a couple and your lady is fine, single guys will approach and talk to you but if you are not interested in playing, they will move on.

I must say that there are some diamond single guys that you will not be able to get and infact you see ladies begging them at parties and the guys will reject the ladies, I have loads of friends like this."

So 'single guys dont overstep any mark?' Sorry but that remark alobe shows exactly what you dont know about clubs. Hilarious!

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By *arnsleycouple7683 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Sometime people like to slag off the singles but they rely on them to fulfil their fantasies, just a tad hypocritical in my opinion "

The only slagging off of singles that I am seeing in this thread is the fact that it is known that some really overstep the mark, as stated by others. But the idea that swingers "need" singles to fulfill some sort of fantasy is illogical. Multiple swinging couples can make up many combinations of 3 sums and the like.

That is nothing against singles, many swingers have plenty of fun with them and vice versa, and that only helps enhance things. But don't try and say swingers rely on singles, because it is simply not true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been to LC on a Friday, and to other clubs with single guys, and haven't had any problems at all.

Yes, you get those that follow you about like lost puppies, but I just find them sad and faintly amusing.

There's lots of lovely single guys at clubs.

Nita"

Lost puppies are not that bad to be fair. It's the excitable puppies that cause the most chaos.

They need training I tell you.

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