FabSwingers.com forum: Worse meet!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Come on guys and gals what's been your worst meet?

Mine was a few years ago and after a few socials decided to meet a chap at his place. Starting kissing and decided to freshen up in the bathroom to find an poo the size of a baby's arm floating in the toilet and skid marks.

Had to make my excuses and run.

Can laugh about it now but come on flush the loo!!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Poo in a toilet stopped you from meeting?

Try the poo al over the white sofa story, or the baby in the buggy in he front room one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Poo in a toilet stopped you from meeting?

Try the poo al over the white sofa story, or the baby in the buggy in he front room one."

I thought poo on toilet was bad!

Oh my god, that's awful.

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By *unishguyMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

I thought finding poo in a toilet would be a common thing but maybe I'm wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met a couple, separate rooms. She kept talking that much, it killed the moment. Might as well chatted about cricket.

Met a couple in Glasgow, Mr Littlesox in a 69 with the woman and his were knocking. She kept catching his cock with her teeth, lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Or the one where the girl went back to a guys flat, went to the poo and it wouldn't flush so she pulled it out and dropped it out of the window but it got stuck on the ledge in full view of any toilet visitor.

The window only had a opening top light so she decided to try to lean out and down to reach it.

Suffice to say she got stuck with half of her body hanging down, her arse wedged in the opening and a lump of poo on the window ledge

They had to call the fire brigade to rescue her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a date and I went to his and he lived with his mam.His mam had a budgie,I looked in the cage and noticed the birds unusual beak .I said what's wrong with your pet ,my date looked and said oh dear that's where My snot went when flicked it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a very naive fabber, many years ago, one of my first meets was set up with a verified married mf couple.

We had messaged, swapped pictures and agreed a time and I had their address.

I turned up on time, the male half opened the door and invited me in. He said the woman was running late and to wait. We spoke for about 10-15 minutes before I asked how long she'd be and he said not long.

He asked if he minded putting porn on to get in the mood whilst we waited. I was a bit hesitant and asked him to check how long she'd be and offered to reschedule if there was an issue.

The guy didn't want to call or text the woman to check if she was ok, where she was or how long she'd be. He said at this point that they didn't live together and alarm bells started to ring, at that point I noticed the guy didn't have a wedding ring and noticed the house feel like a woman had a presence there, no photos, no cushions or the kind of soft furnishings you'd expect to see with a woman around.

I challenged the guy about the woman, he denied it at first but eventually admitted that he didn't have a wife or a woman to come over. He suggested that we just wank and watch the porn, I declined. He said that he didn't want me to waist a journey and would give me a bj.

I left without taking up his offers. I couldn't believe I had fallen for the story. I wondered how many others had given in and let him give them a bj. The profile was verified stating how gorgeous the "wife" was, which really annoyed me that others who had fallen for the trap were setting others up for the fall.

Lesson learned, I always make sure I see the female on a cam or we speak before meeting. Since I came back to fab i haven't seen the profile around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once met a woman and end up

Steamy in car fun who freaked out when a lamppost bulb went out and thought police was there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a young guy in a group situation who was fucking away, telling me how tight my pussy was and how good it felt....despite it not being in there. He then came and farted simultaneously! And over a year later he keeps finding me and asking me to meet up with him again on our own

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"I had a young guy in a group situation who was fucking away, telling me how tight my pussy was and how good it felt....despite it not being in there. He then came and farted simultaneously! And over a year later he keeps finding me and asking me to meet up with him again on our own"

Dare we ask where it was, tradesmans entrance, between your thighs? Funny story

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

When I had my first fab profile, about 7 years ago, I got chatting to a "single" lady. After a while we arranged to meet. As she didn't drive she invited me to her place for some daytime fun. We were having a very naughty time in her bed and it was amazing......

...... until her husband came home from work unexpectedly !!

To this day I thank the fact she lived in a ground floor flat which facilitated my escape through the bedroom window

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

A few years ago I arranged a social with a guy, the time and venue was decided, so I arrived and waited and waited, no show so I rang him, after a while the phone was answered by a man asking if I was his daughter, I said no then he told me he was a Paramedic and my date was in a collision with a car and being air lifted to hospital! I managed to meet him 6 months later and we decided to have a hotel meet at which during proceedings I noticed the bed sheets soaked in blood, he had caught me with his nails and injured me then tried arguing it was my period when it wasn't. What a complete dick!!!! I never met him again after that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had a couple!! Like many meeting up with a person 10 to 15 years older and several stone heavier than their profile pic. Or one when the lady I met for a social spent most of her time in the toilet. Only to come out the 3rd time with toilet paper hanging from the back of her. Then the embarrassing situation of me telling her about it. Strangely we never meet each other again after that.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Ive had a couple!! Like many meeting up with a person 10 to 15 years older and several stone heavier than their profile pic. Or one when the lady I met for a social spent most of her time in the toilet. Only to come out the 3rd time with toilet paper hanging from the back of her. Then the embarrassing situation of me telling her about it. Strangely we never meet each other again after that.

How can one not know she has toilet paper hanging from her back? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only the ones we've arranged and then they never happened for whatever the reason but as it is early days this should be interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Starting to feel lucky that last minute cancels/gone quiet is the worst we've had so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought finding poo in a toilet would be a common thing but maybe I'm wrong "

There's an environmentalist saying about toilets:

"If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down!"

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I thought finding poo in a toilet would be a common thing but maybe I'm wrong

There's an environmentalist saying about toilets:

"If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down!"

I heard that on a Martin Lewis show re a family who were told how to save money! How can anyone leave an unflushed toilet! Have we a water shortage!

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By *alldarkhandsomedaveMan
over a year ago

Derby

I've enjoyed reading this thread!!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I've enjoyed reading this thread!!"

Stick around as it will get better!

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Several years back we met up with a single girl. She was the complete unicorn package. Young, slim, attractive, bi, extremely naughty. We had met her at a Fever party but not played.

We had a great evening socialising, drinking, eating, laughing. Really clicked. It was going so well and the sexual tension was building.

Got back to our place and she and Mrs B virtually ripped each other's clothes off. Mr B was counting his lucky stars as he snapped away with the camera before getting chastised about not joining in.

Mr B joined in. It was getting steamy and hot but then...

We started to notice a very pungent odour. Initially (being British) we tried to ignore it and carry on but...it got really really bad. This girl had a total problem down below, so bad it was making us gag.

We now faced the challenge of stopping things mid flow without offending her.

Mr B took the blame and had to pretend (actually it was true) that he couldn't get a hard on as he was "overwhelmed".

The girl was not impressed at all and left in a complete huff and then went on the bad mouth us to others!

Should have just been honest but how do you say to someone...

"Sorry we can't carry on fucking you because your pussy stinks like fish!"

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By *imandHerNottsCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

Definitely pork - yuk

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Several years back we met up with a single girl. She was the complete unicorn package. Young, slim, attractive, bi, extremely naughty. We had met her at a Fever party but not played.

We had a great evening socialising, drinking, eating, laughing. Really clicked. It was going so well and the sexual tension was building.

Got back to our place and she and Mrs B virtually ripped each other's clothes off. Mr B was counting his lucky stars as he snapped away with the camera before getting chastised about not joining in.

Mr B joined in. It was getting steamy and hot but then...

We now faced the challenge of stopping things mid flow without offending her.

Mr B took the blame and had to pretend (actually it was true) that he couldn't get a hard on as he was "overwhelmed".

The girl was not impressed at all and left in a complete huff and then went on the bad mouth us to others!

Should have just been honest but how do you say to someone...

"Sorry we can't carry on fucking you because your pussy stinks like fish!""

She probably had bv. Shame because a short course of antibiotics clears it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a date and I went to his and he lived with his mam.His mam had a budgie,I looked in the cage and noticed the birds unusual beak .I said what's wrong with your pet ,my date looked and said oh dear that's where My snot went when flicked it .

This had me in tears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully for us, only ever meeting in clubs avoids such disasters

A few times I have seen, or rather smelt awfully smelly people; easy enough to say "no" to them if they approach. Bad theeth and a disheveled look are also easy to avoid

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My former FWB had a very dirty tiolet full of piss and toilet paper, the pan was black as fuck. I thought yuek and pulled the chain. The second time I went there there was skiddy toilet paper in it too. He then proceeded to tell me they weren't dirty but had a water meter and only flushed if they Shit (he houseshared with his stepdaughter). I decided I wouldn't want him for a partner after all, if he was too tight to flush the chain coz he has to pay for the water. XXX

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"My former FWB had a very dirty tiolet full of piss and toilet paper, the pan was black as fuck. I thought yuek and pulled the chain. The second time I went there there was skiddy toilet paper in it too. He then proceeded to tell me they weren't dirty but had a water meter and only flushed if they Shit (he houseshared with his stepdaughter). I decided I wouldn't want him for a partner after all, if he was too tight to flush the chain coz he has to pay for the water. XXX"

This is gross, really gross.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

This is the one I usually post on these threads, although I've had some other pretty bad meets. This is not a Fab meet by the way.

I got to the hotel and he was smoking outside. Not too bad but I've given up and prefer not to be kissing guys who taste like ashtrays, but it may have been his preparation fag! So we went to his room and clothes came off. All well and good - he was well endowed like he said and was a good kisser. He busied himself around my tits for a while then got a condom on. He said that the first one was always quick so I wasn't too surprised when he came straight away, but he didn't thrust once. Just in, and cum.

Anyway, we get going again and I am screaming internally by this point for him to lick or at least touch my pussy. I am so horny it hurts. So I ask if he does oral and he responds by shoving his cock in my mouth. Again, I enjoy that so obviously I'll get mine at some point. I have fun sucking him and letting him fuck my mouth and he comes in my mouth. Then he gets dressed, checks his phone for texts, and goes for a smoke. Ermmmm....

When he gets back I assume he'll come and start on me, but no. He wants something to eat, and offers to buy me lunch. When he orders at the bar though he doesn't even buy me a drink, just orders his food then disappears for another smoke. He was gone so long his food came and sat on the table for 10 mins before he came back. At this point I'd had enough - he'd had two orgasms, I'd had none, and he'd lied about buying me lunch. So I left. And do you know what the pisser was? I felt guilty for leaving him there. He'd booked a hotel for me then I'd left him, and I still feel bad about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing so good as the pool incident.

Was living overseas. Guy I was seeing went home poorly so invited over a guy I'd been talking to.

He came over. Things got hot and heavy - he was allover my breasts and then ,between my legs. Got him naked and it was limp. Carried on and it stayed limp.

He left pretty quickly and never heard from him again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel quite lucky having read all these, worst I've had is someone who was just very passive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few years ago I arranged a social with a guy, the time and venue was decided, so I arrived and waited and waited, no show so I rang him, after a while the phone was answered by a man asking if I was his daughter, I said no then he told me he was a Paramedic and my date was in a collision with a car and being air lifted to hospital! I managed to meet him 6 months later and we decided to have a hotel meet at which during proceedings I noticed the bed sheets soaked in blood, he had caught me with his nails and injured me then tried arguing it was my period when it wasn't. What a complete dick!!!! I never met him again after that! "

I had this happen recently too then he said he had to leave as he didnt do blood and sex!!! It was his fault i told him i dont have periods but whatever makes ya think how many times it happens to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is the one I usually post on these threads, although I've had some other pretty bad meets. This is not a Fab meet by the way.

I read this and winced. I think the simple answer is that some people are just not brought up with manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a girl a few months ago. Went round her house and I walked in and the house was a disgrace. Not been cleaned for a long time, stuff everywhere. We couldn't sit downstairs so had to go to her room. This was s jumble sale in there aswell. Had a drink and a chat, but couldnt bring my self to do anything else because I felt so dirty in there.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's insane! I was incensed when 'mine' argued it was my period like I didn't know! That put me off sex for a long time! Well until I had a meet with a different man who wanted to sit watching Emmerdale and it was a double episode! He paid the hotel room costs to just watch the soaps and thought it was normal also asked me to move away from the screen at one point when I was preparing to leave as he couldn't see, also recall when I left he just waved me off without looking at me. I was incensed but can laugh about it now. I've many more tales which will go in my book I'm writing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's something that happened to a meet of mine from another site. He told me he travelled some distance to a female's house, there were a load of dogs and cats, the house was filthy and there was a huge dog turd on the floor in living room. He said he told her"i can't do this" and left. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is gross, really gross."

Yes I thought so too, and there's him moaning about some fluff on my stairs at my place. (He wasn't from Fab)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I buy said book and get it autographed?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This is gross, really gross.

Yes I thought so too, and there's him moaning about some fluff on my stairs at my place. (He wasn't from Fab)"

What a dick

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By *igger101ukMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Oh my word you have unlocked some experiences that I had rather hoped I had forgotten. I think I could write a book or at least a blog. Discretion notwithstanding the very worse was ending up in a flat with a lady who had, shall we say, let herself go a bit since the pictures she used had been taken. Being the gent that I am I gave myself a stiff talking to and made a start working on the old military adahe of faint heart never fucked a steamroller. It was at that point that a chap came on, plonked himself down on a nearby chair and proceeded to watch footy on the telly. He went out to fetch beer and returned to the match bit in doing so released half a dozen whippets that had been shut in the kitchen. The dogs split into two groups. Group one decided I was really interesting and jumped up to get to know me better. Group two went into attack mode and did not want to get to know me better. Can I use your loo I asked? The loo was by the front door and it was that door I headed for with the attack whippets in hot pursuit. Not my finest hour I have to say.

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By *igger101ukMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Apologies for the typos...small phone big fingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is hilarious.

Makes me realise my experiences haven't been too bad.

One guy literally just face fucked me for 20 mins. Then fucked me for less 5 mins and came. Couldn't manage round 2. Dozed off for 30 minutes and then said he had early start and left.

Had the cheek to message me next day to say how good it was and did i enjoy it. He had warned me he was a beast lool he actually wanted a 2nd meet. Lool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but this has me in literal tears with laughter. You poor thing. I'd have died

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is hilarious.

Makes me realise my experiences haven't been too bad.

One guy literally just face fucked me for 20 mins. Then fucked me for less 5 mins and came. Couldn't manage round 2. Dozed off for 30 minutes and then said he had early start and left.

Had the cheek to message me next day to say how good it was and did i enjoy it. He had warned me he was a beast lool he actually wanted a 2nd meet. Lool"

He had warned you he was a beast?

Fuck, thats funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a couple once and the other bloke either didn't want to join in, or had a genuine problem. That his wife enjoyed taking the piss out of him for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a funny thread. Not sure if I ever want a meet now

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Are you suggesting he was pretending to be the Paramedic?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I woke up not feeling great this morning.

Some of these meets have had me in stitches. Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or the one where the girl went back to a guys flat, went to the poo and it wouldn't flush so she pulled it out and dropped it out of the window but it got stuck on the ledge in full view of any toilet visitor.

The window only had a opening top light so she decided to try to lean out and down to reach it.

Suffice to say she got stuck with half of her body hanging down, her arse wedged in the opening and a lump of poo on the window ledge

They had to call the fire brigade to rescue her "

ROFL

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sorry but this has me in literal tears with laughter. You poor thing. I'd have died

I'd be crying, that's the best one yet!

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By *eather_Loves_SexWoman
over a year ago

Halfway Between London and Brighton

Met a guy we started getting frisky in the pub then moved to my car where I gave him a hj / bj and he came everywhere then drive around looking for an outside spot found one, got the condom on and it was literally one thrust and he came. Then to add insult to injury he said he'd lost £270 by meeting me that day ( his choice) and could I possibly lend it to him or he was going to have to go back to work

told him to just go!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The window only had a opening top light so she decided to try to lean out and down to reach it.

Suffice to say she got stuck with half of her body hanging down, her arse wedged in the opening and a lump of poo on the window ledge

They had to call the fire brigade to rescue her

ROFL"

This one was on the news last week

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Are you suggesting he was pretending to be the Paramedic? "

No he had been in an accident, the Paramedic thought I was his daughter ringing....awkward!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

"
This sounds painful. Hope you're careful with your nails Bhubaysi. I've seen them in your photos hehe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

I would have physically lashed out by instict if it got to that point. It hurt so bad! And I was circumcised using a heated element.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

This sounds painful. Hope you're careful with your nails Bhubaysi. I've seen them in your photos hehe. "

What these nails? They are very long. I must sharpen them today

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

I would have physically lashed out by instict if it got to that point. It hurt so bad! And I was circumcised using a heated element. "

How long was the healing process and did you have a pot on it! It must have been soooo painful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Certain woman who has turned me off handjobs forever by trying her "skills".

Let's just say nails on dick wasn't a good call. Left me with a few cuts painful hardons for a few weeks!

She was quite handily jettisoned out of the apartment.

Gives me a whole new take on 'nail damage' - hope those nails didn't break lol

This sounds painful. Hope you're careful with your nails Bhubaysi. I've seen them in your photos hehe.

What these nails? They are very long. I must sharpen them today

"
It's a shame I can't message you coz I'm filtered out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of our first meets was a single guy who invited us to "his new house". We got there and it was a nice area and a nice big house.

We soon noticed it was his parents house and he asked if we minded that it was a single bed he had. We sat in his living room more as he went into interview mode, asking lots of questions about swinging and how we enjoyed it and how could I let another guy play with my wife as he just couldn't do that.! After a while we asked what was going to happen as time was getting on, we went to his single bed, he couldn't get hard kept going to the toilet and his mum kept calling the landline and leaving voicemails telling him to pick up and he better not have made a mess in the house.

He started to spank Tia and we told him to stop as it was quiet sore, his nail had caught her and cut her. He then came to me and asked to spank me, he was quickly put in his place and We told him we were leaving and he asked if he could get Tias knickers to wank into or her earings to keep! Total fruitcake. We got out and never looked back. He messaged an hour later to say he had a wank and had cum thinking about Tia!

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

"One of our first meets was a single guy who invited us to "his new house". We got there and it was a nice area and a nice big house.

OMG This is the funniest yet. Have a gold star I'm dying here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol it was crazy at the time but we have a good laugh about now!

Thank god for good meets aftewards

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

A few years ago after being in touch by message and chat for a while I arrange to meet somebody for a social. We went to the pub and had a drink.

He told me that he had started to feel quite unwell and he kept going to the toilet every couple of minutes.

Anyway we decided to cut the meat short as he wasn't feeling well, and as we were leaving he became really uncomfortable and embarrassed, and told me that he had the runs and he didn't make it to the toilet in time....

I never heard from him again.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Meet* please excuse the typo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one guy years ago that I met for a drink and in the pub he proceeded to tell me how expensive his shirt, trainers and car were. I made my excuses to leave he chased me to the car park and try to kiss me and when I pushed him away he said that's not very nice and I said neither would kissing you be.

I have also had a couple where I've gone back to someone's house and it's been so disgusting I've had to leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My worse was a few months ago. We'd been chatting for a couple of weeks, been for a social in her home town which is about 25 miles from me. The social went brilliantly and we had a good laugh together. A couple of days later she invited me to her house to spend the night, so I got a babysitter for my son and went to see her. We shared a couple of bottles of wine and then without warning she asked me to leave, knowing that if I wanted to get home I'd have to pay for a £40 taxi and have the dilemma of how to pick up my car or drink and drive. I took the taxi option and caught the train back the following day to collect my car. Definitely the worst meet I've ever had.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Many years ago I had a social with a man who turned up wearing what I can only describe as a black and yellow bumble bee style jumper, it was hand knitted. He thought the jumper was cool. I kept thinking 'can I have sex with a man like this?' Answer was 'NO'! I was also invited back to his house for tea and scones with him and his mother! I declined and said I had shopping to do. He followed me around the shopping centre with me dodging him like something from an espionage movie!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many years ago I had a social with a man who turned up wearing what I can only describe as a black and yellow bumble bee style jumper, it was hand knitted. He thought the jumper was cool. I kept thinking 'can I have sex with a man like this?' Answer was 'NO'! I was also invited back to his house for tea and scones with him and his mother! I declined and said I had shopping to do. He followed me around the shopping centre with me dodging him like something from an espionage movie!! "
are with his mother? Was he mad? A few drinks and a nice chat from me before anything else. Check there's connection. No stalking around shopping centres lol.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Many years ago I had a social with a man who turned up wearing what I can only describe as a black and yellow bumble bee style jumper, it was hand knitted. He thought the jumper was cool. I kept thinking 'can I have sex with a man like this?' Answer was 'NO'! I was also invited back to his house for tea and scones with him and his mother! I declined and said I had shopping to do. He followed me around the shopping centre with me dodging him like something from an espionage movie!! are with his mother? Was he mad? A few drinks and a nice chat from me before anything else. Check there's connection. No stalking around shopping centres lol. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many years ago I had a social with a man who turned up wearing what I can only describe as a black and yellow bumble bee style jumper, it was hand knitted. He thought the jumper was cool. I kept thinking 'can I have sex with a man like this?' Answer was 'NO'! I was also invited back to his house for tea and scones with him and his mother! I declined and said I had shopping to do. He followed me around the shopping centre with me dodging him like something from an espionage movie!! are with his mother? Was he mad? A few drinks and a nice chat from me before anything else. Check there's connection. No stalking around shopping centres lol.

Yes Viva he was mad! I had also asked him to speak French, to order a drink in French as he had said he was fluent in French but he said I scared him asking him to do that. I reckon I would have been abducted if I had gone to his house! "
Sounds it. I dont like when people lie to try and impress. Eventually they look stupid. Can never go wrong with a social drink and then have a second meet once your comfortable. Then again, if he could speak fluent French, I'm sure that would be cancelled out by his horrible jumper. Did he also think you wouldnt see him following you, looking like a bumble bee.

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By *igger101ukMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Not a terrible experience but one that was something of a whitehall farce.

I had been exchanging messages with a couple in the midlands decidedand found myself on business nearby. As soon as it became clear I was in the vicinity I was invited at pretty short notice to attend to the ladies needs. Time was tight and I was driving a long in the tooth Range Rover at the time that was badly suited to late night amd speedy cross country scampers.

But eventually I arrived at a very large set of gates and having announced my arrival by text the gates swung open and in I trundled. Hubby was waiting at the door wearing his dressing gown. "We have started" he announced "so come on in." Into the kitchen I went where I was invited to take off my shoes and with a "follow me" hubs set off up the stairs. Well never one to be shy I bounded after him taking at least two steps at a time. Hubby thrust me into a massive bedroom where a glorious looking lady was sitting up in bed with her well formed charms on full display. Just as I was thinking that this all looked promising hubby announced "this is Rigger!" To which the lady of the house responded "rigger? Who the fuck's rigger...".

It became clear in a heartbeat that there is a fine line between surprise and shock and it was also pretty clear at this point that my presence was neither expected nor welcomed by Mrs.

To her great credit she thanked me for the effort that I had made then wondered if I might leave her and hubby to have a chat.

So off I went...and I suspect that the little chat was an interesting one.

Itis entirely conceivable that the said couple are reading this and of they are, perhaps we might share a glass of something sometime and have a laugh about it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I vomited on someone when he decided I wasn't sucking his cock deep enough. He put his hand on the back of my head and thrust.... hard

My revenge....threw him out still covered in it. Tbh it was water rather than food based but the smell was awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought finding poo in a toilet would be a common thing but maybe I'm wrong

There's an environmentalist saying about toilets:

"If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down!"

I heard that on a Martin Lewis show re a family who were told how to save money! How can anyone leave an unflushed toilet! Have we a water shortage! "

Probably an old saying. Might be wrong but think we're one of the fee countries that uses processed drinking water for domestic use.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I vomited on someone when he decided I wasn't sucking his cock deep enough. He put his hand on the back of my head and thrust.... hard

My revenge....threw him out still covered in it. Tbh it was water rather than food based but the smell was awful

What a dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I vomited on someone when he decided I wasn't sucking his cock deep enough. He put his hand on the back of my head and thrust.... hard

My revenge....threw him out still covered in it. Tbh it was water rather than food based but the smell was awful

What a dick."
Yuk, but he sounds like an idiot so deserved it.

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By *jb_1980Man
over a year ago

limerick

This a true story from a hotel in co Clare on Irish west coast.

Young guy about 20/22 was meeting a woman for a weekend of fun.

She was married with kids from near Dublin....she'd told hubby she was on a girlie weekend.

Tragedy struck when the lady had an aneurysm and died.

This is true...I actually don't know who to feel more sorry for..

.the young lad or the hubby at home.

So tragic.

Can anyone beat that?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"This a true story from a hotel in co Clare on Irish west coast.

Young guy about 20/22 was meeting a woman for a weekend of fun.

She was married with kids from near Dublin....she'd told hubby she was on a girlie weekend.

Tragedy struck when the lady had an aneurysm and died.

This is true...I actually don't know who to feel more sorry for..

.the young lad or the hubby at home.

So tragic.

Can anyone beat that?"

Feel bad for the hubby as she left him and the kids. So what happened after she died? Did 'young lad' contact hubby and tell him why he was with his deceased wife? Awkward!

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By *jb_1980Man
over a year ago

limerick

"This a true story from a hotel in co Clare on Irish west coast.

Young guy about 20/22 was meeting a woman for a weekend of fun.

She was married with kids from near Dublin....she'd told hubby she was on a girlie weekend.

Tragedy struck when the lady had an aneurysm and died.

This is true...I actually don't know who to feel more sorry for..

.the young lad or the hubby at home.

So tragic.

Can anyone beat that?

Feel bad for the hubby as she left him and the kids. So what happened after she died? Did 'young lad' contact hubby and tell him why he was with his deceased wife? Awkward! "

Not 100% sure but it was a tragic end

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"This a true story from a hotel in co Clare on Irish west coast.

Young guy about 20/22 was meeting a woman for a weekend of fun.

She was married with kids from near Dublin....she'd told hubby she was on a girlie weekend.

Tragedy struck when the lady had an aneurysm and died.

This is true...I actually don't know who to feel more sorry for..

.the young lad or the hubby at home.

So tragic.

Can anyone beat that?

Feel bad for the hubby as she left him and the kids. So what happened after she died? Did 'young lad' contact hubby and tell him why he was with his deceased wife? Awkward!

Not 100% sure but it was a tragic end"

Obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fortunately I've only had the one bad meet

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Fortunately I've only had the one bad meet "

Ha ha how lucky are you? I could write a book lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fortunately I've only had the one bad meet

Ha ha how lucky are you? I could write a book lol."
Ah that's not good. On a brighter note, you can write the book of fab and cash in on your bad luck lol

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By *mir301Man
over a year ago

coventry

Alright everyone is banging on about other people but one of my embarrassing moment was me I was on top banging away to the point of cumming when as we blokes know just before we shoot a load we tense up our leg muscles ( well I do ) and I pulled my calf and with the pain falling to the side of the bed with cock pointing towards my face luckily missed my face and got some in my hair ??

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I may have collapsed in a shower on a meet

It was to hot and I just passed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst is been stood up

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Fortunately I've only had the one bad meet

Ha ha how lucky are you? I could write a book lol.Ah that's not good. On a brighter note, you can write the book of fab and cash in on your bad luck lol"

The experiences I have disclosed did not happen with Fab members.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fortunately I've only had the one bad meet

Ha ha how lucky are you? I could write a book lol.Ah that's not good. On a brighter note, you can write the book of fab and cash in on your bad luck lol

The experiences I have disclosed did not happen with Fab members. "
Ah ok. Sorry to hear of the bad meets though. People do some strange things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was asked by a party organiser to take a nervous newbie under my wing. It's very obvious I am bi and she looked lovely from her profile so I agreed. I was going to the club anyhow and we were staying in the same hotel. She turns up at my hotel room and I swear she looked like Mrs Doubtfire! (She was younger than me but looked 20 years older). She proceeded to tell me she was not up for any funny business and would not have a drink with me in case I took advantage of her (yep she spoke like that). So I'm stuck with this woman for the night. Me looking like sex on legs out with my Grandma. She would not speak to me in the taxi to the club (a good 20 min drive) and refused to go halves with me. We get to the club where I introduce her to my friends, who try to include her in conversation. She blanks them and stands by herself all night. Won't engage with anyone. I keep checking she's ok and she barks at me 'I'm fine'. After a few hours she tells me she's going back to the hotel and I have to go with her. I refuse, so she storms off. Leaves a few ranty messages on my phone and then blocks me cos I didnt try to make her feel welcome.WTF! Lesson learned - newbies you are on your own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Such a funny thread. Not sure if I ever want a meet now

That is why we never meet in someone's home never invite anyone to ours. Club meets work for us because that way we can get away fast from the weirdos

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our worst meet is no where near as bad as some of these, but it certainly made us rethink who we arrange to meet.

We were messaged by a profile that was only a few days old. It was a genuine looking couples profile, photo verified and 2 webcam verifications. They were hot so thought we would arrange a meet at a bar and see where things went. Even drove and hour to Exeter.

When we got to the bar a rather unsavoury looking gentleman approached us claiming to be the male half of the couple, despite looking nothing alike and claimed that his better half had gone to work. We made our apologies and left.

He then follows us down the street shouting abuse at us. We carried on walking until eventually Jack "encouraged" him to leave us.

The profile had vanished by the time we checked later.

Went to the cinema instead. Saw The Hitman's Bodyguard. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

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By *mokey_KinksMan
over a year ago

Essex

golden rule never eat anything that smells of fish

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

My first ever swinging experience.

About 25 years ago now, back in the days of contact mags. Wrote to a couple and got invited to visit them in Oxford. I lived in London and didn't drive at the time so they kindly said I could sleep over at theirs.

Got the train and they met me at the station and drove me back to theirs. We were having a chat in their living room when the front door when it and their teenage son came in. They were obviously very liberal parents as he was completely unfazed by my presence, he chatted with us for a bit and then went upstairs. He will stay upstairs now I was told.

We we then got down to business. She was very hot and we had a good fuck. But after I came it seemed very wrong and I just wanted to get out. So I made my excuses and left.

Only problem was it was now midnight and the last train and coach had gone. It was also November and fucking freezing. The first coach went at five so I had to walk circuits of Oxford for five hours so I didn't die of hypothermia!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"golden rule never eat anything that smells of fish

What about fish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loved reading this.....wish I had something as good to contribute...but never had a meet that was bad enough to match up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had been chatting to a guy for a while and he said he'd come over he'd be around two hours. It transpired he was driving from Plymouth!

He arrived around 2am. Straight in put me on my knees stuffed his cock in my mouth

Then pushed me onto the sofa pinned me down and fucked me bareback

Fortunately I managed to get him to leave

Horrible experience and was wondering what in our conversations had made him think that was what I wanted

Hence all meets are social to start with. You gotta be careful out there x

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Had been chatting to a guy for a while and he said he'd come over he'd be around two hours. It transpired he was driving from Plymouth!

He arrived around 2am. Straight in put me on my knees stuffed his cock in my mouth

Then pushed me onto the sofa pinned me down and fucked me bareback

Fortunately I managed to get him to leave

Horrible experience and was wondering what in our conversations had made him think that was what I wanted

Hence all meets are social to start with. You gotta be careful out there x"

Oh goodness that is terrible, really terrible.

I wonder why people think they can treat us like this?

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By *andJDubaiCouple
over a year ago

Dubai, with visits to Glasgow, Edinburgh and London

Thank you all. This has been a brilliant read in a miserable Sunday evening.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had been chatting to a guy for a while and he said he'd come over he'd be around two hours. It transpired he was driving from Plymouth!

He arrived around 2am. Straight in put me on my knees stuffed his cock in my mouth

Then pushed me onto the sofa pinned me down and fucked me bareback

Fortunately I managed to get him to leave

Horrible experience and was wondering what in our conversations had made him think that was what I wanted

Hence all meets are social to start with. You gotta be careful out there x"
This is terrible. Hope you were not to distraught afterwards. No woman should be treated like this. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It taught me not to be so trusting. It could've been so much worse as he was bigger and stronger than me

Fortunately all meets since have been very good

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I may have collapsed in a shower on a meet

It was to hot and I just passed out

I fell over in the shower after a particularly energetic MMF. Wrenched my leg quite badly, although nothing worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh my word you have unlocked some experiences that I had rather hoped I had forgotten. I think I could write a book or at least a blog. Discretion notwithstanding the very worse was ending up in a flat with a lady who had, shall we say, let herself go a bit since the pictures she used had been taken. Being the gent that I am I gave myself a stiff talking to and made a start working on the old military adahe of faint heart never fucked a steamroller. It was at that point that a chap came on, plonked himself down on a nearby chair and proceeded to watch footy on the telly. He went out to fetch beer and returned to the match bit in doing so released half a dozen whippets that had been shut in the kitchen. The dogs split into two groups. Group one decided I was really interesting and jumped up to get to know me better. Group two went into attack mode and did not want to get to know me better. Can I use your loo I asked? The loo was by the front door and it was that door I headed for with the attack whippets in hot pursuit. Not my finest hour I have to say.

That, made me snort my gin..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 bad meets, one from the adult section of Gumtree, the other from the fish place

First... A guy who pretended to be ex army. Met at a coffee bar, zero spark, he tried to follow me back to work, I had to jump into a hairdressers pretending I wanted a consultation, had to check he gad gone before heading to work.

Second one, a uni lecturer. Met at agreed place, walking and a chat,invited me to his. Loads of shelves, cd's, books all neat.

Sex was good. Until he rammed his cock in my mouth, gag reflex made me ill, it went in my lungs. I went to.kitchen for water, couldn't breathe properly, he tried to continue the oral. I stopped him. Ad to gather my clothes, still not fully well. Got outside , ran, cos I knew I didn't feel safe, luckily dislodged the fluid off my lungs. I had to use my inhalers, and sat on wall til bus direct to home arrived.

Scary, not being able to breathe!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"2 bad meets, one from the adult section of Gumtree, the other from the fish place

Second one, a uni lecturer. Met at agreed place, walking and a chat,invited me to his. Loads of shelves, cd's, books all neat.

Scary, not being able to breathe!"

How absolutely awful. It seems that men like 'ramming their cocks' into women's mouths! Just awful. What's that about?

I've had my fair share of such numpties but reading this thread is making me re-think meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"2 bad meets, one from the adult section of Gumtree, the other from the fish place

Second one, a uni lecturer. Met at agreed place, walking and a chat,invited me to his. Loads of shelves, cd's, books all neat.

Scary, not being able to breathe!"
This hit me a bit because I find it so nasty that someone would do this. Meeting people should be fun and safe. You have to be carefull who you meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not actually getting one in the first place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and obviously I was tested before I played again.

I was a bit shaken.

Fortunately I always let a friend know what's occurring x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and obviously I was tested before I played again.

I was a bit shaken.

Fortunately I always let a friend know what's occurring x"
Best to be safe. I don't understand what's wrong with people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this meet at mine been chatting a while thru caution to the wind ( never again ) he looked nothing like pic he was an odd ball I had a cig out on my back garden he follows me out then banging on about how nos all about the stars well I came back in hes sat down on my sofa my front door facing sofa I opened it and said I cant do this leave he sat there 3 more mins b4 he went told him several times

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By *inecrestMan
over a year ago

West Yorks

Another story from pre-internet days: I used to meet single women and couples via ads in Loot, the classified ads paper which was popular in the 1990s. Arranged to meet this first-timer couple for a social drink, and we got on fine and agreed that we go back to their house in their car - I didn't drive.

Back there we were all a bit nervous, just chatting, and it took a while before we decided to get down to some fun. The guy said he would leave the woman and me to ourselves to start with and come in later. The woman was lovely - slim, blonde, really responsive and appreciative and we had a great session. The guy came in half way through and watched. Then when I needed a break the two of them put on a show, very impressive too, though he was rather quiet. When I was ready to go again, he left the room saying he had other things to do. The woman and I had another great session.

When we were finished it was about 2am, and they had said I could sleep in their spare room. I was just getting into bed when the guy came into the bedroom and said he had changed his mind, and would I leave right now. As he walked away he shouted "And be quick about it!". I could see there was going to be no possibility of a discussion about this, he could barely restrain himself from beating me up. I dressed and left the house at lightning speed. The woman was downstairs and saw me go, and whispered to me "You will keep in touch won't you." Yes, I would have loved to but for my own safety it was absolutely out of the question.

So I was walking round a strange area - this was before the time when we all had mobile phones. I walked around till I found a phone box and found a cab number inside and called it to take me home.

I learned a lesson from that: beware of first-timer couples who haven't thought things through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman me and my fb James met for a social with a view to have a ffm.

It all started off so promising as she turned up and looked stunning but then she stared talking.All she did was go on about how brilliant she was.How good looking she was.How everyone in the restaurant we was in wanted her.How her car was the best on the car park.How she earns more money than all of her friends and everyone she personally knows.How she's too good for fab but she is kind and helps out people lower than her with her pure beauty that makes them feel good about themselves by her just speaking to them.How her house is bigger and better than anything in my area.

She never let me and James get a word in.It was all about how fantastic she was and even when we did try to speak to her she would turn every one of our conversations into how she has done and seen and has better.

The final straw was when she started giving people filthy looks that walked in like they were below her so James asked for the bill and we left.On our way out she asked if we was going back to mine for fun and I said no as there was no connection.She sent me a message saying how dare we turn her down as there's hundreds that would give there right arm to be with her.Then she blocked me before we could reply.

I can honestly say I've never met someone so full of themselves in my life but the food was nice so not all was lost x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a terrible experience but one that was something of a whitehall farce.

It became clear in a heartbeat that there is a fine line between surprise and shock and it was also pretty clear at this point that my presence was neither expected nor welcomed by Mrs.

To her great credit she thanked me for the effort that I had made then wondered if I might leave her and hubby to have a chat.

So off I went...and I suspect that the little chat was an interesting one.

Itis entirely conceivable that the said couple are reading this and of they are, perhaps we might share a glass of something sometime and have a laugh about it!"

I've had a very similar experience to this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only had one disastrous meet. Let's just say she had a lot of cats, a filthy house, and a inability to kiss without clashing her teeth against mine. I had to make my excuses and leave, only for her to text me calling me a time waster! Fair enough I thought, and proceeded to list the real reasons I couldn't bring myself to do the deed with her.

She didn't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/09/17 02:44:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ye just the one. Soon as I stepped in her house the stench of BO hit me. She gave a shit blowjob and I knew this was a mistake. Made some excuse and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had 2 really crap meets!

Both from here & both probably still on here.

First one left skid marks on my bedsheets

Second one came all over my leg after a quick feel of my boob.

Complete let down the pair of them

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Very funny indeed. I am in stitches!!!!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm doubled over with some of these but concerned regarding others.

Can't believe how people are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm doubled over with some of these but concerned regarding others.

Can't believe how people are!

"
I know some of these are really bad lol.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Still waiting to find out what exactly he was fucking?

Did he have his cock up the leg of your knickers??

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I guess we will never know?

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

Met a couple whilst at a club with the Mr. We get on like a house on fire so me the the fem go off to a private room to warm up and then the lads once done with having a cigarette came and found us.

We'd all discussed the fact we're a soft swap couple and all was ok, until the fem started trying to practically force my Mr inside her. She then became hysterical because I'd touched her fella. She was suddenly also so pissed I had to dress her then we put them in a taxi and sent them home, wherever that was.

Turns out they split up a few months later, and the male half contacted us on here and decided to tell us that the fem wasn't the same age as me ( mid 20s at the time ) but she had only not long turned 18

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We planned to meet a chap in a bar. Over a drink and chat with the guy, the Mrs decided to leave it as a social. As we all were leaving and saying good byes, he asked Mr Littlesox if he wanted wanked off in the toilets. Erm, no thanks.

A few weeks later, we received a text off him to say he finally broke his anal cherry with another guy. Thank goodness we use a PAYG sim for arranging meets.

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By *riendly_Mancs_CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Ours was more pressure than horror. We were staying over in another city for a rock concert one weekend so we changed our location to that city. We received a few messages from couples and one that seemed really good. After a few messages we decided that we would meet one couple. However the older couple told was that seeing as we would not show face pictures that they would be calling the shots at the social meet. Their rules were:

We will meet you at 8pm for a drink in the bar. We will only stay together for half an hour and we will then go our separate ways whether we like each other or not. Then later we can all message each other if we would like to meet up later that night.

The arrangement seemed perfect to us so we agreed. For the next couple of days (before the meet) they must have told us 10 times 'remember we are only meeting for half an hour then we are going our separate ways'. On each occasion we agreed. To be fair the agreement suited us too because we had a kid on a school trip and said we would keep checking in with him by phone. So, it comes to the night of the meet and we get the recurring message again that they will only meet us for one drink etc...

So, 'it' turned up with a lady. 'It' was about 5ft 4, dressed in dirty, scruffy trainers, Tracky bottoms etc. He had clearly not had a bath and had 3-4 day stubble. His wife was the exact opposite. She looked lovely. So, for the next 20 minutes he did nothing but leer at Jayne and then pushed it further by telling how good he was going to fuck her later. We reminded him of the rules, THEIR RULES... after half an hour we go our separate ways etc... and he blurts out with "Fuck the rules. We both like you's so we're happy to play straight away". By the way, he never even consulted her wife on that! Using THEIR rules as a get out we said "Like you said. It's better to go our separate ways after 30 minutes because we have to check up on the kids etc and sort a couple of things out at the hotel around the corner. As agreed we'll message you later about meeting up". He protested and started telling us to stay coz we were 'alright looking' etc. The wife looked on as the husband continued to protest and try to persuade us to stay but we were having none of it and we left. We then did genuinely check in with kids and sort the Hotel out. We then received a text from him telling us what time to meet and where. We politely replied 'Hi. Sorry. Jayne is not feeling it and she is concerned with the kids so we can't meet etc'. He replied 'YOU FUCKING TIMEWASTING BASTARDS'. And went on to tell us how we wasted their night and we were in trouble if they saw us again. Yeah right!!

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By *a_SayonaCouple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

This is really someone else's story - told to us by a couple we met a short while ago.

They turned up at an address at a quiet residential location to meet another couple and whilst still in the car, the lady of the house tottered out into the street wearing high heels, a basque and a thin dressing gown thing with a glass of wine in her hand.

She peered through the car window at our friends and bawled out at top volume: "George! The COUPLE are here!!"

They said she gradually got more and more d*unk, necking glass after glass of wine until she could barely stand up and after a very short while, they did their tabloid reporter bit and made their excuses and left!

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By *igger101ukMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"This is really someone else's story - told to us by a couple we met a short while ago.

She peered through the car window at our friends and bawled out at top volume: "George! The COUPLE are here!!"

Someone else's story eh?

We believe you!!!

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By *kexpat81Man
over a year ago

Aldgate

"I've only had one disastrous meet. Let's just say she had a lot of cats, a filthy house, and a inability to kiss without clashing her teeth against mine. I had to make my excuses and leave, only for her to text me calling me a time waster! Fair enough I thought, and proceeded to list the real reasons I couldn't bring myself to do the deed with her.

She didn't reply."

How many men have had a cat lady,not one cat, talking 5 or 6. The smell and cleanliness is not good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come on guys and gals what's been your worst meet?

Had to make my excuses and run.

Can laugh about it now but come on flush the loo!! "

Haha

I had a meet at a lasses house she had a house like step toes yard I couldn't even see the carpet..

I Said your 1 scruffy hoarding bitch n walked out

It was the smell that got me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had 2 really crap meets!

Both from here & both probably still on here.

First one left skid marks on my bedsheets

Second one came all over my leg after a quick feel of my boob.

Complete let down the pair of them

Haha quality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ye just the one. Soon as I stepped in her house the stench of BO hit me. She gave a shit blowjob and I knew this was a mistake. Made some excuse and left."

So you managed to soldier on past the BO stench until you got a shit blowjob... good effort haha!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Too many to recall. Met a guy for social lunch time drink - had explained it would be for 15-20 mins or so. He had a tantrum when I come to end it as he had brought clothes to go to a club that night with me. Another guy who cried outside the pub when I said thanks but no thanks, tried emotional pressure etc.

A partner who stormed into the house and screamed and worse. I quietly sneaked out as the neighbors were probably all staring at me.

Having to say goodnight to 2 kids who came to the bedroom and give them breakfast the next morning.

A guy who lived with parents, where I got introduced to them mid-shag.

I've cut the most awful bits out of these as a lot is still troubling. I live a simple life but realise many others create quite a mess in theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry but

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My worst was having anal sex and left with a condom souvenir up there... Scared the life out of me. Don't you guys buy the right size for your cock?

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By *mynclMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

No stories to tell, not had a meet yet lol, enjoying reading this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had been chatting to a guy for a while and he said he'd come over he'd be around two hours. It transpired he was driving from Plymouth!

He arrived around 2am. Straight in put me on my knees stuffed his cock in my mouth

Then pushed me onto the sofa pinned me down and fucked me bareback

Fortunately I managed to get him to leave

Horrible experience and was wondering what in our conversations had made him think that was what I wanted

Hence all meets are social to start with. You gotta be careful out there xThis is terrible. Hope you were not to distraught afterwards. No woman should be treated like this. X"

That basically described the "r" word.....truly scary!

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By *rownskinmaleMan
over a year ago

Essex

Bad anal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I turned up at my guys house,things got steamy. He likes to fuck hard, he started hammering then all of a sudden he stopped,saying "I really don't want to alarm you, you're bleeding badly"looked down and the sheets soaked red,I was mortified that my body decided it was that time...

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

I was mortified,but he was just so sweet about it. Kept asking if I needed to get checked out,and despite sex being off the menu he brought me tea,cake hot water bottles and cuddles. I wish I'd kept him as a pet lol.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

Probably launched a murder enquiry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

Probably launched a murder enquiry

God I know lol. I was expecting a call from my FB asking me to spring him loose.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

Probably launched a murder enquiry

God I know lol. I was expecting a call from my FB asking me to spring him loose.

. At least you can laugh about it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst meet by far for me, met a woman I'd been chatting and texting to in a local coffee shop. She turned up, looked good......but then she opened her mouth and revealed the most manky rotten teeth I've ever seen and a wave of extremely bad breath hit me. I couldn't even stay for the coffe as the smell was making me feel sick

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By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London

This wasn't a swinging meet, but I (male half) was once dating a lady in the past who had an epileptic fit while we were shagging. Scared the bejesus out of me

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By *inkyisfunukMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Years ago, pre fab.

Arranged to meet a couple, all seemed OK. Except when I met them in the bar they turned out to be hardcore christians who proceeded to tell me that I was going to hell and that I should come to church with them and find jesus to save me.

Needless to say, I didn't hang around long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, I logged in after getting home from a rather boozy night out with some work friends.

An message pings my inbox, a rare thing at the best of times, let alone when I'm home, horny and in the mood for a little fun.

It's a couple, about 5 miles away. Her pictures are smoking hot, he looks huge. Shaved, clearly a body builder.

She says, " he has a tiny cock, and I really just want to be fucked well. He's asleep and couldn't do it anyway, not here loves me fucking other guys. Come over, it will be fun. Bring drinks"

So, I do!

Knocking on the door, I'm nervous as hell, like always, on a meet, but shit, it feels good to be alive!

She answers, wearing a white robe, sexy black heels and she looks as good as her picture. Better, perhaps.

We walk through to the kitchen, where the largest guy I have ever seen in my life is standing, naked, infront of the open fridge drinking six pints of milk.

He's huge! Like decades of steroids huge! Shaved all over. And she was right, no discernable penis and tiny balls.

I'm mesmerised by the huge, naked giant, so we sit at the breakfast bar, I pour us all a glass of wine, and we chat.

It's going OK. She's sexy, I think we are mutually attracted. He shows me around there clearly exp pensive house.

Then, suddenly asks me to leave.

I'm not so bothered about that, as, whilst the vibe was nice, it was just fun to have a little adventure, meet someone new and have a drink with a little conversation.

I wake up the next nothing to about 20 text messages.

" You stole my wallet"

" Why did you steal from me, we all know it was you"

" Give it back, now. I know where you live"

" I will hunt you"

Message after message of weird aggressive craziness, threatening all sorts of retribution for an allegedly stolen wallet. Though, as the dude was naked the whole time I was there I have no idea where his wallet might have been.

It was really rather scary. And very bizarre.

Deleted, blocked, a solid 12 months off of the site.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Meeting my ex-husband

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By *amescoupleCouple
over a year ago

north walsham

We met a couple when we first started out. Arranged baby sitter etc and headed to the pub to break the ice.

Spent an hour with the woman looking as uncomfortable as heck and the guy salivating at carol like a really dirty old perv.

It soon became clear that the woman wasn't a 'willing' swinger.

We made an excuse about the baby sitter having to go and fled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This wasn't a swinging meet, but I (male half) was once dating a lady in the past who had an epileptic fit while we were shagging. Scared the bejesus out of me"

At least it didn't happen while she was sucking your dick, huh?

Silver linings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Years ago, pre fab.

Needless to say, I didn't hang around long."

When I was at university, my boyfriend at the time lived in a shared house in which a couple of born again Christians lived. They were of the opinion that listening to certain songs backwards you could hear evil lyrics from the devil

My ex wasn't afraid of telling them what bollocks it all was. They thought I was nice and innocent and thought he was corrupting me

If only they knew I ended up on a swingers site, enjoying group sex and going to a naturist club

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By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London

"This wasn't a swinging meet, but I (male half) was once dating a lady in the past who had an epileptic fit while we were shagging. Scared the bejesus out of me

At least it didn't happen while she was sucking your dick, huh?

Silver linings

Ouch, could have been nasty.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

This happened something similar. Was having sex with a lady from the scene, but she forgot to mention it was her period, I go hammer and tongs at it, claret everywhere in the room she was sharing with a couple at a social.

The couple then walk in to find blood everywhere and who gets accused of shit me. Luckily this was on other site and friends backed me up along with the woman who's blood it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We met a couple when we first started out. Arranged baby sitter etc and headed to the pub to break the ice.

Spent an hour with the woman looking as uncomfortable as heck and the guy salivating at carol like a really dirty old perv.

It soon became clear that the woman wasn't a 'willing' swinger.

We made an excuse about the baby sitter having to go and fled. "

I think this is a common issue in this lifestyle. I have seen it a few times. I tend to cool things off when I see that too.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Most awful thing to happen to me had me mortified.

I failed to mention about my irregular heavy periods and lack of clotting agent in my blood because it's not a nice conversation to have with your FB.

Still cringe at the mess on the sheets we binned them after. I hope nobody went snooping. They'd wonder what by hell happened lol

The couple then walk in to find blood everywhere and who gets accused of shit me. Luckily this was on other site and friends backed me up along with the woman who's blood it was

How embarrassing for the lady and then you being 'backed up' by friends etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my teenage years I met a guy and had been seeing him for a while. His parents were away and we were getting frisky on the bed. He had just made his way between my legs when his younger brother was standing in the door way. Id say he was about 14.

I stopped him from doing what he was and he says its okay he will just wack one out and then he will be gone. I don't think I ever got dressed as quick.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

"This wasn't a swinging meet, but I (male half) was once dating a lady in the past who had an epileptic fit while we were shagging. Scared the bejesus out of me"

Be prepared to cringe........

Shame she wasn't in the bath you could have thrown your washing in

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"This wasn't a swinging meet, but I (male half) was once dating a lady in the past who had an epileptic fit while we were shagging. Scared the bejesus out of me

Be prepared to cringe........

Shame she wasn't in the bath you could have thrown your washing in"

Yep or he could have been on a murder charge..!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A girl pulled drugs out of her handbag once during a social. I was like WTF!!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Many many years ago when I was young and naive I was engaged to a lad and his parents were away so we decided I go over and visit him, we planned naughty fun, so I decided to have a nice soak in the bath and prepare myself for sexy time. The bathroom door burst open and there he stood in my lingerie, complete with black stockings and heels. I was astounded, the first thing I thought of was how expensive the stockings were so I blurted out 'careful with them, they are Bruce Oldfield'. This was in the 1980s when men weren't as liberated as they are now. I remember feeling quite shocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met a girl a few months ago. Went round her house and I walked in and the house was a disgrace. Not been cleaned for a long time, stuff everywhere. We couldn't sit downstairs so had to go to her room. This was s jumble sale in there aswell. Had a drink and a chat, but couldnt bring my self to do anything else because I felt so dirty in there.

I have experienced this to. How do people live in such horrid conditions run a vacuum round and don't let cats piss in the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many many years ago when I was young and naive I was engaged to a lad and his parents were away so we decided I go over and visit him, we planned naughty fun, so I decided to have a nice soak in the bath and prepare myself for sexy time. The bathroom door burst open and there he stood in my lingerie, complete with black stockings and heels. I was astounded, the first thing I thought of was how expensive the stockings were so I blurted out 'careful with them, they are Bruce Oldfield'. This was in the 1980s when men weren't as liberated as they are now. I remember feeling quite shocked. "
Bet that was a shock to you!! Oh and you still are young.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my teenage years I met a guy and had been seeing him for a while. His parents were away and we were getting frisky on the bed. He had just made his way between my legs when his younger brother was standing in the door way. Id say he was about 14.

I stopped him from doing what he was and he says its okay he will just wack one out and then he will be gone. I don't think I ever got dressed as quick."

Omg wow that's wrong wrong wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my younger years I pulled whilst out and about. She invited me back to her place and there we were getting into the swing of things when I heard a noise.

I paused as I heard something again and then 30 second's later her nan shuffled into the room with her zimmer frame. I disappeared sharpish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We seem to have been a lot more unlucky than you guys.

We have had everything from meeting a couple where she squirted for the first time. She acted as if she had scored a goal in the world cup final and then turned to her husband and said "You'll never do that!" - really not nice.

We have unfortunately met a couple where we didn't ask for face pictures and it turned out he had half a head.

We have even met a single fem who when squirting let out more than she bargained for - as an accident fine - it happens but these were lovely whites of london sheets - she then repeated the accident - no apology and tried to stay over - ewwww

We must just be unlucky

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I went a few years ago and met someone in a wheelchair who is paralyzed from the waist down. I was fully aware of this before the meet.

He had wanted to try some rope work, and I had basically tied him naked into the wheelchair, so his top half was also in mobile. Next thing you know the fire alarm went off in the hotel and it was being evacuated.

It all turned out absolutely fine in the end, but honestly you could not make this stuff up.

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By *rs slut n himCouple
over a year ago

dartford

One of them nights you chat to a guy and exchanging pics so agree to that spontaneous meet he doesn't drive so gets a taxi, in he comes erm not sure! Cpl of doubts,so anyway he strips and omg he is nothing he portraid that's it he has to go and now, can we ring him a taxi, no just get out, why pretend to be something your not, why waste time on either side,really don't get it

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Immobile*

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By *orn KinkyTV/TS
over a year ago

cardiff

Met the fem half of a couple off another site. They were a Dominant couple, and his kink was her using pvc maids / sissys whilst he worked away and showed him the pics later. Anyway, turned up at 1pm, she was already half cut, and went on to drink the complete bottle of wine I'd taken her as a gift within about half an hour. No word of a lie, the kitchen was so full of dog shit I had to tip toe through it with my breath held. Had it not been for the fact I was fully dressed at lunch time on a busy estate I would have ran out the back door and back home without looking back. (I did leave as soon as I could though)

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By *illToPleaseMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

The following story is absolutely true, happened exactly as described below. It's a little long and may appear far fetched but the memory is etched into my brain for life. So, without further ado, I give you my worst fab experience.

A few months after joining the site I was lucky enough to meet a beautiful woman and shared with her my first swinging experience. It was everything I could have hoped for and more!

Bouyed by that experience I was delighted when returning home one Friday afternoon I had a message in my inbox. this time from a different lady though very attractive. the message simply read; "I like your profile, would you like to fuck me tonight?". YES, I replied as quickly as my fingers could be removed from my cock and onto the keyboard!

We exchanged a number of messages, she sent through further images, blonde, tall and mid fourties. We spoke on the phone briefly and that was it...mind made up! I was going to meet her.

So I jumped in to my car (After a shower of course)and travelled the 4 hours by car to her house in Norwich!!!

When I arrived I sent a text to say I was outside. She replied that the door was ajar and I should let myself in.

I walked in to her porch, removed my shoes (I am a gent after all) and went in to the lounge. the lounge was in darkness and so I ventured forward to the kitchen where the light was on. Laying before me on the kitchen counter, legs astride and wearing a cutesy pink velour gown and kitten heels and absolutely nothing else was...a 70 year old woman!!!!

At this point, the horn wore off a little. I stated my displeasure at being led to believe she was much younger and ensured she understood we would not be having sexual intercourse!

I did however make the mistake of suggesting a cup of tea and a chat...as you do with your nan!

I went and used the loo and when I returned I realised this was a mistake. She spent the next 10 minutes telling me how much I would regret not fucking her, what a dirty milf (Erm, GGGGILF? without the "ILF" part).

Anyway. Breaking point arrived when she said the following harrowing sentence!

"When I am feeling naughty and I don't have a young man to service my needs, I take mayonaisse and spread it on my flower and let the boys lick it off"

Having now run from the kitchen almost in tears, there were around a dozen cats in the living room! These, I am guessing were the aformentioned "Boys"!

I picked up my shoes, hastily leapt out of the front door slamming it and looking up to the skies to call who ever was up there an utter cunt! I dropped my shoes on the driveway and put my feet in only to find a fucking cat shit! in! My! Shoe!

I decided not to take my shoes home and instead hurled them at her house again cursing the heavens. One shoe made a clatter as it hit the wall. the other went through her window...hopefully the one with the cat shit stamped inside it!

Anyway. When I got home (some 4 hours later) I checked her profile again. loads of verifications...all from young men from all over the country. I am guessing some just thought...fuck it, I am here now!

The End

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The following story is absolutely true, happened exactly as described below. It's a little long and may appear far fetched but the memory is etched into my brain for life. So, without further ado, I give you my worst fab experience.