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Fuck buddy into a Relationship

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Of cause it can work, but i wouldnt worry about it to much yet hes only taking you for a drink. See how it goes if you get on go with the flow dont get serious about it just see what happens.

You may get on fantastically, you may find that its just the sex you have been attracted to.

Also you say he wants to "get into your world" does he mean swinging or you personally. Maybe he just wants to be more of a permanant swinging partner.

Good luck anyway shaz

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By *ambooCouple
over a year ago

kings lynn

Only one way to find out, suck it and see ! I always have thought that good sex was one of the essential ingredients for a good relationship so it may be worthwhile giving it a go assuming you get on ok together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes get together as quickly as possible

Then folks will start to get their mail before six o'clock at night xx

Seriously though good luck and yes of course it can work xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would question if his motives are true , only say that as he wants to cum into yr world and swing

why??

does he want to swing with u or just be with u x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he prolly just wants an open relationship and to fuk a load of ur swing buds while still going home with u

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall


"i would question if his motives are true , only say that as he wants to cum into yr world and swing

why??

does he want to swing with u or just be with u x"

My thought exactly.

Mistress x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i would question if his motives are true , only say that as he wants to cum into yr world and swing

why??

does he want to swing with u or just be with u x"

Both he has taken me dogging in the past in his uniform lol that was funny and he is open to new experiences. We have been getting closer the last few months and it just feels right. Just a bit nervous/scary.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"he prolly just wants an open relationship and to fuk a load of ur swing buds while still going home with u "

An open relationship works for me as I do enjoy my freedom I have been on my own a very long time.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


" he has taken me dogging in the past in his uniform lol"

thought dogs and postmen didnt mix

seriously tho.. good luck t'ya both :D

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i would question if his motives are true , only say that as he wants to cum into yr world and swing

why??

does he want to swing with u or just be with u x

Both he has taken me dogging in the past in his uniform lol that was funny and he is open to new experiences. We have been getting closer the last few months and it just feels right. Just a bit nervous/scary."

good luck to you both, as long as your are both open and honest with each other then all will be well...off to look for someone like you myself now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be very careful. Good reliable postmen are hard to find. You don't want your mail stuffed down your drainpipes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves are a good thing, good luck, I hope it works out for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It worked for me, met Ms Sexy at the local club, we went from running into each other there, to casual, now an item

Just make sure you both comunicate about where you are with things and you'll have a great time

Best of luck to you both

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all its always good to chat and weigh up the options.

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By *razydriver8Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

fsm and i were FBs and are now engaged so it can work , with the right person.. as someone said suck it and see... take it slow, communicate and take a risk.... and i really hope it works out for you. x

HSM x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared."

alarm bells. be careful, don't get hurt. If you go for a relationship make sure it is you he wants and not the swinging world.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Have to say ive never planned on going into a relationship its something that has just evolved from seeing someone and clicking and just drifting along ive never thought right im going to have a relationship with this person, ive never realized im in a relationship with them until im already there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared.

alarm bells. be careful, don't get hurt. If you go for a relationship make sure it is you he wants and not the swinging world."

It has taken him two years to pluck up and ask I have not pushed him, he knows that I am into it and he loves it when I tell him what goes on at chams. But its like most men there is talking about it then actually doing it in reality. And he has been happy with just me. Has wanted to build things for a while but I have never been ready to take it further. Plus I am not ready to give the swinging up yet as I am enjoying it too much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared.

alarm bells. be careful, don't get hurt. If you go for a relationship make sure it is you he wants and not the swinging world."

It has taken him two years to pluck up and ask I have not pushed him, he knows that I am into it and he loves it when I tell him what goes on at chams. But its like most men there is talking about it then actually doing it in reality. And he has been happy with just me. Has wanted to build things for a while but I have never been ready to take it further. Plus I am not ready to give the swinging up yet as I am enjoying it too much.

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i've been seeing my postman every day for the last twelve years and he has never asked me out once..

Seriously, go into it with your eyes open, an open relationship to start with and see how it develops maybe, good luck and hope it works for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's what you want, Shaz, go for it! A relationship built on a good friendship & great sex is something that many people dream of. Add to that total honesty, and the opportunity to continue swinging, and you're on to a winner.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it can work!- but Id like to test any partner out socially...lets say our type of socially lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If it's what you want, Shaz, go for it! A relationship built on a good friendship & great sex is something that many people dream of. Add to that total honesty, and the opportunity to continue swinging, and you're on to a winner.

Good luck!"

Thanks sunny thats the thing lol I can pick up on the sex thing but when it comes to moving forward am cluless on the signals lol. But yes I am ready was just waiting for the right person I think.

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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago

MacKay

It won't ever work.

Swinging is a couples process. It's fundamentally built on the process of couples swapping partners and returning to their own.

If you are single, you aren't swinging cause you don't come from the sexual experience back to the love of your partner. If your postman is single he's not doing that either.

I've had to redefine my future with swinging since my partner separated from me. Over 16 years, there were times when we were very active and other times when it wasn't a thought, even for a year or two.

A relationship is not based on sex. It never can be because the chemicals of sex become familiar to the body and then you become tolerant of them. This is part of the reason men are strong on a relationship at the start but over time start looking elsewhere.

Another issue is that when a couple sleep together (that doesn't mean sex, it just means in the same bed) chemicals are transferred from the man to the women to make her want to be close to him. It also works on man on man too. Not sure if it works on woman to woman as woman don't excrete the chemical. (Women put out a sex pheromone each month that draws men, or if lesbian, women, to them)

To build a stable relationship with a male who's been a casual sex partner, and who probably has others, you would have to consider the motivation at this time and what will happen in 3, 5 and 10 years time.

Men like to be attached, for sexual gratification and so they secure relationships.

How many other women has this post man been seeing as well? Maybe he was seeing 2 or 3 a week and now the women have moved on or that circumstances has ceased and his daily hormone needs aren't being met within his minds drive so he wants to move in with you for daily sex.

However, his tolerance will build to the the chemicals that you release when you have sex and when you are with him and he'll get bored. He will want to find other women, probably secretly, to fulfil his need for the chemical rush, and you might think you are in love and in a stable relationship, which inevitably will move on after a year or two and you'll have to pick up your emotions and baggage.

There is a reason why we have dating and grow love and relationships beyond sex. There is a reason Britain has one of the highest divorce and 'break-ups' (unreported cause more than 50% of people in Britain have 2-3 year relationships, and often with a child, and move on so they don't get counted) because many people are drive by the sexual urge and not the mental, intellectual, spiritual and most important the emotional aspects of a relationship. Many people are not capable of emotionally supporting their partner, which results in exhaustion and sometimes aggressive responses. Usually selfish in reflection.

I could go on for hours and share a lot!

Anyway as my ex is finding out, dating men on a swingers sight is a one off fuck and there is no emotional connection, she has no emotional support like she has for the prior 16 years, no one to cuddle up with and cry, she has no friends ... it's very sad to watch. But I can't do anything and shouldn't do anything.

So please don't turn fuck buddies into relationships, it really does not work for the majority.

Sex and Love are different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But surely swinging will settle the need for new partners?

I met my partner in a club where we both swung seperately, now thing are serious and we're doing great! It can work We have just talked about things and are honest about our feeling all the time....

Shaz, give it a go... lifes too full of what if's as it is not to go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soory but I couldn't dissagree more with the last poster.

In reference to your situation, Shaz, I would say have you examined your motives for wanting to take things further, before?

Do you want a partner or a swinging partner?

And also, trust your instincts, that usually works, as to how to approach the situation, it sounds like you have been doing fine up until now?

Maybe you are over analysing things instead of just relaxing and enjoying his company, good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last but 1 poster!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well having seen some fab 'couples' come and go, I'm one(not a swinging issue why we split!),all I can say is, dont be surprised if who u shag isnt ur ideal life partner...and dont be surprised if each of u gets bored.Ive almost started not being able to see a settling down to a vanilla rtype of life, so the scene and my friends are gonna hopefully be some of my friends for life(as we know it), but as we all know, the dynamics start coming in when ur still playing i.e, who u select,when u select etc etc

for now im happy being unanswerable lolol

my only issue with fuckbuddy to couple is that theres no cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/08/11 15:14:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last but 1 poster!"

Thanks for the correction, had me worried there lol

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"It won't ever work."

Lol..... ah but sometimes it does work. I know of several couples on the site who met through swinging and have been together (some very happily married) for years. (...and yes, I met my partner at a swingers party over a year ago. We're having a wonderful life together and I hope (and have no reason to think otherwise) that we will stay together).

Just enjoy and see where it goes Shaz. It may turn out to be something wonderful or it may not, but hopefully you'll have some fun times during the process.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well update for you we went on our first date last night after two years lol, He came to the door with flowers very romantic and we went to the beer fest. Just a date and chatted all evening. He is open to the swinging but will take it slow. Had a kiss good night at the door and no sex so that's progress. Building a friendship and taking it from there. I know I would not be comfortable doing vanilla but I would not push swinging on anyone either. So will just wait and see. Ps we going out again next week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw, I'm so glad to hear your date went well, and good luck for next week xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really pleased for you Shaz xx

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared."

no reason why it can't but if you decide to go to a club first please have an escape plan for yourself just in case he cannot cope with jealousy etc once you're at the club.

ie make your own way there..

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"Well update for you we went on our first date last night after two years lol, He came to the door with flowers very romantic and we went to the beer fest. Just a date and chatted all evening. He is open to the swinging but will take it slow. Had a kiss good night at the door and no sex so that's progress. Building a friendship and taking it from there. I know I would not be comfortable doing vanilla but I would not push swinging on anyone either. So will just wait and see. Ps we going out again next week."

sounds like you're going about things the right way..have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?"

Everytime she meets ya? Bugger Im missin summat then I'm gonna have ta have words lol xx

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?"

Because eventually she becomes bored with you and she moves on, which is problably why SHE doesn't want a relationship with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?"

Because, believe it or not, some men have been known to form emotional attatchments!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?"

Why wouldn't you ?

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?

Why wouldn't you ?"

Why would she????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?

Because eventually she becomes bored with you and she moves on, which is problably why SHE doesn't want a relationship with you"

Why is this aimed at me? Did I say it was 'my' opinion? As I'm pretty sure I said 'friends/mates'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?

Because eventually she becomes bored with you and she moves on, which is problably why SHE doesn't want a relationship with you

Why is this aimed at me? Did I say it was 'my' opinion? As I'm pretty sure I said 'friends/mates' "

Because you never said you disagreed with them and it reads as if you agree?

Anyway tell your mates they talk bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?

Because eventually she becomes bored with you and she moves on, which is problably why SHE doesn't want a relationship with you

Why is this aimed at me? Did I say it was 'my' opinion? As I'm pretty sure I said 'friends/mates'

Because you never said you disagreed with them and it reads as if you agree?

Anyway tell your mates they talk bollocks."

Sorry I didn't realise I had to put a disclaimer on the bottom of every post in case someone cannot interpret what I've said properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sorry I didn't realise I had to put a disclaimer on the bottom of every post in case someone cannot interpret what I've said properly. "

Posting an opinion to your own on a forum is a bit unusual though isn't it?

Ask yourself why everyone came to the conclusion that it was your opinion too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sorry I didn't realise I had to put a disclaimer on the bottom of every post in case someone cannot interpret what I've said properly.

Posting an opinion to your own on a forum is a bit unusual though isn't it?

Ask yourself why everyone came to the conclusion that it was your opinion too?"

Errr because they are susceptible to jumping to conclusions because most people just agree with everyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sorry I didn't realise I had to put a disclaimer on the bottom of every post in case someone cannot interpret what I've said properly.

Posting an opinion to your own on a forum is a bit unusual though isn't it?

Ask yourself why everyone came to the conclusion that it was your opinion too?

Errr because they are susceptible to jumping to conclusions because most people just agree with everyone else? "

Get real. People post their opinions, it is the norm. Posting your "mates" opinion and not stating that it isn't shared by you is not normal on this or any other forum (unless you are trolling), it is nothing to do with jumping to conclusions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No,

They don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sorry I didn't realise I had to put a disclaimer on the bottom of every post in case someone cannot interpret what I've said properly.

Posting an opinion to your own on a forum is a bit unusual though isn't it?

Ask yourself why everyone came to the conclusion that it was your opinion too?

Errr because they are susceptible to jumping to conclusions because most people just agree with everyone else?

Get real. People post their opinions, it is the norm. Posting your "mates" opinion and not stating that it isn't shared by you is not normal on this or any other forum (unless you are trolling), it is nothing to do with jumping to conclusions. "

Well that's 'your' opinion but apparently it's more valid than my friends/mates because it's being said on the internet..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that's 'your' opinion but apparently it's more valid than my friends/mates because it's being said on the internet.."

No it is more valid because as I already said your "friends" talk bollocks. On this subject at least.

Though at no point prior to that had I commented on validity. So perhaps you too are "susceptable to jumping to conclusion".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that's 'your' opinion but apparently it's more valid than my friends/mates because it's being said on the internet..

No it is more valid because as I already said your "friends" talk bollocks. On this subject at least.

Though at no point prior to that had I commented on validity. So perhaps you too are "susceptable to jumping to conclusion". "

Just because a group of people have a difference of opinion it doesn't mean they are 'talking bollocks'

I can see both sides but apparently you cannot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because a group of people have a difference of opinion it doesn't mean they are 'talking bollocks'

I can see both sides but apparently you cannot."

So you do agree with them then? Even if it is only to a degree?

I think my assessment is fair and lets face it no one is leaping to your defence saying you/they have a valid point. Or are you saying that your "friends" attempting to pass off an udeniably misogynistic viewpoint as some sort of credible theory is anything other than talking crap? Incidentally how do they view men that enter relationships based on sex and what is the basis of their theory it will be the women and not the men that ultimately stray?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"no reason why it can't but if you decide to go to a club first please have an escape plan for yourself just in case he cannot cope with jealousy etc once you're at the club.

ie make your own way there.."

Good advice as the only possible scenario if he's not happy is that he will fly inti a jealous rage meaning leaving seperately is the only option!

Or possibly talk about it first, be open about fears and expectations and set boundariies. I realise that to the OP thae advise that I am giving is possibly a little patronising but at least not as insulting as the suggestion this man could be a pyscho!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP, apologies for the thread hijack. We met on here and appear to fal into the not that uncommon "wasn;t looking for it but fucking loving it now it has happened" category. Go for it and enjoy. He sounds a gem based on a desire to go on dates which suggests that it is very much you and not the swinging that is the priority. As with all things in life, if it feels right go with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks guys why does a simple question have to get nasty. And like I say and relationship needs secure foundations to swing otherwise it just wont work hey look at me relationship lol. But I know I could never be vanilla just not in my make up.

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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago

MacKay

Loved some of the comments that followed my post. I'd like to clarify some background:

I operated one of the, if not the, first adult meeting and contact web site from 1992 until 2004 when I had to shut it down after my professional career was being tainted with the social aspect of operating a sex site.

During that time, my (now ex from May this year) partner and I would have Friday night social parties and saturday night play nights (not that much play ever happened back then people were too shy)

We telephone verified every registration - that means 2 separate calls for the male and female partner in a couple. The statistics would surprise you.

We also travelled every fortnight or month (for a longer trip) around pre-planned routes to enable registered members to meet us, socially to get a VIP icon on their profiles as being genuine.

Over the years the dynamics changed considerably. About 50% of couples 'split up' within 6 months of registering. About 25% at 2 years.

Where people 'met' and formed a 'loving relationship' through the site, none were successful. (I recall over 250 'relationships' being announced in 2 years.)

I have not yet met a couple anywhere in the world that met through swinging and have stayed together till one of them passed away. I know, that's a long time and I'm only going back electronically to 1992. (I knew about swinging from 1986 and I'm not that old!)

I did a little research the last few days with people I know are cross linked in other databases I have access to (see how all those names, DOB's and email addresses can be so useful!) and none of the 'couples' registered in 2004 who came together as a result of meeting in the swinging scene are together today. I cross check 2300 profiles.

If the married couples only 1231 out of 13,000 are still married ... and sadly I have to put myself in the higher number but not as a result of swinging ... or then again given my ex is on this site meting random men looking for 'love' that she says she didn't have for the last 16 years ... maybe she was influenced by the sex and not the true depths of a relationship.

As someone posted above, if you can have sex when you want it, why complicate that with a relationship and to be honest, this is true. Relationships are hard work. Sex is never the answers to a successful relationship.

England has the highest number of 'blended' families in the world, twice that per capita of the USA.

I'm still collating statistics, but I'm fairly close to saying that the average British woman has children to at least 2 men, the next highest is 4 men (not sure why 3 men falls below 4), the average registered marriage lasts between 6 and 11 years. The variance is too narrow to say '8' because the variance between 1-5 and 6 is huge and the variance from 12 upwards is linear.

The average unmarried relationship last between 18 months and 3 years, with 5 years being the next but at 50% of the previous group. No unmarried relationships can be found above 5 years (though I know 1 personally, it's not in the statistical data from the Government) and most people under 18 months have a new partner and 'in love' quite frequently .. whilst the sex and beer is good.

Right, so anyway ... I'm sure that's spinning some heads!

Now lets get back to reality. Sex is not love, and guys rarely know what love is. They want attachment for convenience in most cases. Few men can truely demonstrate emotional intelligence (as my ex seeks) simply because it's not a genetic or primal instinct.

Women are genetically programmed to find a new better gene source very 6 to 7 years - hence the '7 year itch' but in the last 20 years economic reasons have made people 'stay together' longer simply because it's easier and comfortable. I could give a 2 hour talk on this topic, and have, and I'm not going to type it in here cause I just don't think most here are really interested.

Swinging is great fun when you have someone to swing back to. If you have a regular fuck buddy or multiple swinging partners each week, then you might not realise you arr missing out on a critical biochemical part of the aspects of a relationship and of course the emotional support expected within a relationship.

Enjoy swinging, but don't ditch your true love for what might be - the grass is RARELY ever greener on the other side.

"I went to the other side cause I thought the the grass was greener but everyone else was there too." - similar to a quote I become known for a few years ago

xox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over the Years and listening to a lot of friends/mates opinions is that a lot of men never totally respect a woman if they started a relationship based on sex. It obvioulsy works for some, but If a woman gives you sex every time you meet, why would you want to start a relationship with her?"

having trouble with this one. if you don't want a relationship because someone gives you sex everytime you meet (man or woman) then does that mean you would want a relationship with someone who does not give you sex everytime you meet.

Seems strange criteria for a relationship. Though that most developed relationships because they felt comfortable and had fun with someone first and the bond developed from there. Do not see how the sex affect this. Or is it just me?

I would not write off a guy for a relationship just because he gave me sex everytime we met. I'd be quite pleased.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im so glad you raised this question as ive been asked to do same. havin read the answers i think its worth a try. i dont want anything serious at the moment so it would be perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does it work from being buddie to having a full blown relationship. I am asking this as I have been seeing my postman for the past two years we get on great. Never been out on a date it is just pure sex which we both enjoy.

The thing is he wants to take it forward to the next stage and take me out we are going the pub at the weekend. He knows that I swing and he is curious as he puts it to come into my world.

Can it work. What do you think I have not had a proper relationship for a very long time. And to tell you the truth a little scared."

No one can help you on this .....but I would say one thing after reading all off this post don't let fear hold you back live each day like its the last except that you may get hurt and just run with it where ever it leads ......lifes about taking risks and with out risk your not living just existing .....

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