FabSwingers.com forum: Timewasters

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know this don't apply to all but why do some women state on their profiles what they are looking for...for example anyone with kik or any local guys but when you send them a message with face pic because they want that too....even tho they haven't got one on their profile they never reply....or just delete message. Manners cost nothing and I'm finding it harder to strike up a conversation....just saying that's all.

What's people's thoughts on not replying to messages?

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By *ornyuniladMan
over a year ago

Leicestershire

At the end of the day it's anyone's choice to reply or not to anyone they like on here. If a woman doesn't reply to you it doesn't make them a timewaster, and secondly complaining/making a thread about it isn't going to change anything in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're not time wasters, they just don't fancy you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're not time wasters, they just don't fancy you. "

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By *ornyuniladMan
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"They're not time wasters, they just don't fancy you. "

Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frankly, because they have received hundreds off messages off guys who they think fit the profile too.... And a lot who don't. You have to remember OP. You are a male. You have no concept of the amount of messages women get. They would spend most of their fab time replying no thanks.... Not to mention having to reply to the " why not?" messages. Or receive abusive messages for saying 'no thank you'. The main reason I have blocked single men. I thankfully no longer have this issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're not time wasters, they just don't fancy you. "

This is the most likely answer - you will one of many messaging and it's probable that they are only responding to people that they find attractive in the first instance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and if they don't reply, how are they wasting your time? A timewaster is someone who arranges a meet and doesn't show up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks"

If I take the time and effort to explain what I'm looking for, could they at least have the decency to read it? Works both ways you see - tricky thing that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe time wasters is the wrong word but from one message how can u tell if it not interested without chatting. I understand is people's decision at the end of the day but it's not like it asking them to jump straight into bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks"

Did they specifically name you, begging you to message? What do they owe you? You messaged off your own back. Why are they obligated to reply to you??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's what I'm saying tho...when you read profiles and give in your message the things they ask for like "code" word to prove u read it. And you make the effort and don't even get a "thanks but no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe time wasters is the wrong word but from one message how can u tell if it not interested without chatting. I understand is people's decision at the end of the day but it's not like it asking them to jump straight into bed. "

Surely you understand by that thinking, that they would have to multitask hundreds of messages a day? It's impossible. That's why a profile has to be great. Most of us will look at that, before even opening a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's what I'm saying tho...when you read profiles and give in your message the things they ask for like "code" word to prove u read it. And you make the effort and don't even get a "thanks but no thanks" "

Who knows, but you can pretty much take a no reply as a no thanks, so the net result is the same. Just shrug it off and look for someone to whom you think you may appeal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who knows, but you can pretty much take a no reply as a no thanks, so the net result is the same. Just shrug it off and look for someone to whom you think you may appeal. "

Thanks for your advice...just wanna get females take on this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who knows, but you can pretty much take a no reply as a no thanks, so the net result is the same. Just shrug it off and look for someone to whom you think you may appeal.

Thanks for your advice...just wanna get females take on this

Im a female. The reason i dont reply to all messeges is usually because i dont want to meet them, i have had lots of messeges that day and dont have the time, i dont want the messeges saying "why wont you meet me ?" Etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We put up the following on our profile "if your a idiot put rainbow coloured unicorn feet as the subject"

And then nearly every message had that as a subject which proved to us they hadn't read our profile properly so we didnt reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the op a respectful message deserves a respectful reply especially if it's obvious they have taken the time to read your profile . We get lots of messages off guys and it's fair to say we do delete a lot without a reply but they are usually the "what u up to ". "Hi" looking to meet ? " type of crap you get but when a guys took time to write a decent message he gets a decent reply x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know this don't apply to all but why do some women state on their profiles what they are looking for...for example anyone with kik or any local guys but when you send them a message with face pic because they want that too....even tho they haven't got one on their profile they never reply....or just delete message. Manners cost nothing and I'm finding it harder to strike up a conversation....just saying that's all.

What's people's thoughts on not replying to messages? "

I think the way people view local is different. When I say local I mean mainly in my home town but I get messages from all over the West Country from men who think they are local to me. I often reply too far away, they then want to come to me but I don't host. It's a waste of time sometimes to reply, it strikes up an unwanted dialogue. X

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By *ittle BootsMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

You must remember there are lots of gorgeous ladies on this site but even more average to ugly men and having seen the competition we don't stand much chance, but I live in hope

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

We put up the following on our profile "if your a idiot put rainbow coloured unicorn feet as the subject"

And then nearly every message had that as a subject which proved to us they hadn't read our profile properly so we didnt reply "

So essentially you were just trying to prove a point to yourselves ?

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

I'm called a time waster.... Cos I'm on here but can't meet when they want me to....

I can only meet, when I put a meet up...it's there on my profile should you bother to read it.

But they insist on doing the whole small talk rigmarole, the I can sneak in when kids are asleep! oh what a shame, why you even on here? bullshit

Read the flaming profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They look at your profile and make the decision. There's over 20 reasons why you might not be what they're looking for. People won't chat if they know they will never meet you.

They are saving you time, not wasting it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with the op a respectful message deserves a respectful reply especially if it's obvious they have taken the time to read your profile . We get lots of messages off guys and it's fair to say we do delete a lot without a reply but they are usually the "what u up to ". "Hi" looking to meet ? " type of crap you get but when a guys took time to write a decent message he gets a decent reply x"

I agree and do this.

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We put up the following on our profile "if your a idiot put rainbow coloured unicorn feet as the subject"

And then nearly every message had that as a subject which proved to us they hadn't read our profile properly so we didnt reply "

How did this prove they hadn't read your profile properly? They might consider themselves to be idiots so were correct in putting that as the subject.

Sally

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

andover

hi op just a bit from admin.

If someone doesn't reply, it's not rude, it just means they're not interested. You're better off messaging people who you haven't contacted already. PS. Because some women and couples get hundreds of mails each day, we take a dim view of anyone harassing those who don't reply.

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

It's a waste of time doing a time wasters thread about about members who are not time wasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do make an effort to reply to each and every message but if you look at the site FAQ I'm sure it says to just take a deleted message as a "no thank you". Also, it's good that you're attaching a face picture with the message and reading their profile but that doesn't mean they have to respond. I do but then we'be set our filters pretty well so don't get flooded with hundreds of messages. Before this we did used to get a lot and it would take me hours to reply to them all but i did because think it's good manners. However, a lot of those messages were replied to with follow up messages of "why?" etc so now I just reply to say no thanks and block. Unfortunately this is FAB world and normal rules of etiquette don't tend to apply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1/ No rules state they have to reply, 2/ obviously not attracted to you and not wanting to chat or meet. It's all been said in the past and no doubt been mentioned on this post as well but do single guys realise the amount of guys to single women?. Or how many messages some women get on fab. We have a friend who sometimes got over 300+ messages a day sometimes more if she put a new picture up. Do you guys really expect the single women to reply to them all??. Christ these women don't live on fab they have jobs/families some pop on for a quick look every so often. I was on fab as a single guy for loads of years so can see both sides slightly. Think if I was going offer any advice to any single guy now it would be to get yourself alone to the organised social events, here you get to meet women/couples face to face and chat. If not make your profile stand out from the norm on here. Good luck anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone doesn't reply its quite simple they weren't interested so take it as such, block them and move on.

We blocked everyone apart from verified couples and we get probably 1 or 2 messages a week tops. We check our fabbed pics regularly and hotlist anyone who catches our eye and message them when we are looking for a meet where they fit the criteria.

When we first joined we replied to everyone and it soon got very tedious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh OP do you really expect to get a reply as soon as i seen your profile pic was an immediate turn off i personaly would not have even read your message ..female replying..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

End of the day it is down to personal choice ., If someone choses not to reply then fair enough .

However , people shouldn't be so precious about it . Too many on here ( a lot who need to be a bit more realistic about themselves too ! page three model you aint love! ) sitting in ivory towers almost laughing at attempts ( clearly futile) made to strike up a chat and see where it goes .

Guys who are single and make some effort deserve to at least be given a polite no thanks . This ' if you hven't had a reply it means not interested' game is a bit tedious and actually confidence bashing to a bloke after a while ..

and folk wonder why so many men cut and paste ?

A little manners goes a long way to mske someones day now doesn't it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's people's thoughts on not replying to messages? "

Read the FAQs here; all will be revealed

- Mrs. J -

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

I have that as well. I meet when I can but still got branded a time waster. I had arranged a meet but my mum was ill so I had to cancel as family cone first and we all have a life away from fab!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks"

So I'm assuming you reply to all the crap that comes through your letterbox, and all the spam in your email inbox... do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's people's thoughts on not replying to messages? "

my thoughts are that the first thing i see is profile pic, if its a cock, then i'll delete, then i'll look at the profile..if there's virtually nothing there, i'll delete...why wouldn't i? why would i bother reading a message from someone who cant be arsed to write a profile? how does that make me a timewaster exactly? You say manners cost nothing, well fine, but i dont think it's particularly good manners to wave your cock in peoples faces expecting that to be good enough to make up for having fuck all profile like loads on here seem to do..and on here, actually yes, manners cost time ..as well as the fact that a polite no thank you then opens up an avenue for the sender to either start whining 'why not', usually with another raft of cock pics, because that'll help!..or just sending outright abuse...so yes, replying to every message does cost something!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks

So I'm assuming you reply to all the crap that comes through your letterbox, and all the spam in your email inbox... do you?"

Of course he does

When the local kebab shop drops a leaflet through his letter box, he either immediately goes and purchases a kebab or runs there to let them know that kebabs make him sick

- Mrs. J -

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks

So I'm assuming you reply to all the crap that comes through your letterbox, and all the spam in your email inbox... do you?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks

So I'm assuming you reply to all the crap that comes through your letterbox, and all the spam in your email inbox... do you?

Of course he does

When the local kebab shop drops a leaflet through his letter box, he either immediately goes and purchases a kebab or runs there to let them know that kebabs make him sick

- Mrs. J -"
or tells them ty i received your flyer and just wanted to say no ty i dont like kebabs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just plain and simple if you take the time and effort to message them at least have decency to say no thanks"

I agreed with you in general a few months ago, but I don't anymore. Even as a member of a couple we still have days where messages can overwhelm us, and when we first opened up the profile to single guys, we got even more for a few days.

Over time, you end up changing the goalposts of what a message should be before you respond. If they've used the right subject as requested, and taken a bit of time to engage us, but the picture isn't attractive, we'll tell them they're not what we're looking for. But if they don't meet the first requirements, they're now just ignored because it's easier.

There is a flip side to this that you can benefit from though. Instead of messaging someone and hoping to hear from them, message literally everyone who takes your fancy a bit. Don't stick to the Uber stunners, and don't don't message people you find actually unnatractive, but just read the profiles of all the others, and send messages to them all. When you start getting messages back, look through the message you sent them, and ask yourself what you did differently that they may have liked. You have to learn to use fab, and it annoys me that my other half is far more successful in the message front, even when people don't know it's her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand ladies or couples not reply to gratuitous and inane mail as the ubiquitous "wanna fuck" or other such descriptions in correspondence but like all mail sent to junk mail or spam is a little harsh!

It is a little disheartening for those single men, in the massed ranks of the FAB battalions, who take the time to compose an original message within the requirements of the respondent only for the mail to be deleted without a thank but no thanks. However given that single chaps, or those who purport to be single, make up the vast majority of the FAB family its no surprise that those in the minority can choose not to reply should they so wish.

I would advise the OP to put it down to FAB dynamics move on and be cool!

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