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"Who else loves Dominant men? And I don't mean dominant just by spanking or hit pulling. Someone who really knows how it all works, " yes, i cant find one, just men who try to get into my knickers, who think i wont notice the difference..bless them ..still bloody frustrating though | |||
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"Who else loves Dominant men? And I don't mean dominant just by spanking or hit pulling. Someone who really knows how it all works, " I do but for the life me I have no idea what hit pulling is | |||
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"Who else loves Dominant men? And I don't mean dominant just by spanking or hit pulling. Someone who really knows how it all works, " Never met one. Too many fakes on here have put me right off x | |||
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"Who else loves Dominant men? And I don't mean dominant just by spanking or hit pulling. Someone who really knows how it all works, I do but for the life me I have no idea what hit pulling is " I just realised I put hit instead of hair. Lol sorry x | |||
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"I would suggest to join FL but unfortunately that is over run by fakes now... You can thank 50 Shades for that! Everyone know thinks their a sub, slave, Dom or Master.. " I tried that. The site is shocking x | |||
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"I would suggest to join FL but unfortunately that is over run by fakes now... You can thank 50 Shades for that! Everyone know thinks their a sub, slave, Dom or Master.. I tried that. The site is shocking x" It's one of the worst sites I've used, I was so disappointed. Must admit this site has been a pleasant surprise! Although there are a few wannabe Doms they're easy to spot | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. " | |||
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"I would suggest to join FL but unfortunately that is over run by fakes now... You can thank 50 Shades for that! Everyone know thinks their a sub, slave, Dom or Master.. " Going to munches, demos, and play events I felt for me was the best way of finding a play partner and involving myself in the bdsm community, as for people being "fake" I prefer to think of it as people being incompatible, what's fake for one could be perfect for someone else | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. " Thats very true. I played around with aspects of the dom role on my previous account after meeting a sub. We had clicked on here over music and we met without her wanting that dynamic with me. She suggested just delving a little and seeing how far i could push myself into the role. It was exhilarating despite it being very dom lite as it where. We both had very good fun. I would never advertise as a dom but i could see myself growing into it. Hope that makes sense. | |||
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"I would suggest to join FL but unfortunately that is over run by fakes now... You can thank 50 Shades for that! Everyone know thinks their a sub, slave, Dom or Master.. Going to munches, demos, and play events I felt for me was the best way of finding a play partner and involving myself in the bdsm community, as for people being "fake" I prefer to think of it as people being incompatible, what's fake for one could be perfect for someone else " I am trying to get my thoughts together to write a journal on FL on why I won't criticise other doms. | |||
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"Who else loves Dominant men? And I don't mean dominant just by spanking or hit pulling. Someone who really knows how it all works, " A resounding yes! | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. " Spot on. I often get "accused" of not being a true sub cos i do not fulfil their view of one. | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. Thats very true. I played around with aspects of the dom role on my previous account after meeting a sub. We had clicked on here over music and we met without her wanting that dynamic with me. She suggested just delving a little and seeing how far i could push myself into the role. It was exhilarating despite it being very dom lite as it where. We both had very good fun. I would never advertise as a dom but i could see myself growing into it. Hope that makes sense." You mention advertise. It makes me chuckle to see vacancies advertised by Doms. | |||
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"I (D) tend to avoid such threads but I think, as has already been mentioned, the confusion arises because of sloppy semantics. I favour the terms "Top" and "Bottom" where there is not an established and ongoing relationship between the partners. These terms however are often seen as lesser on the BDSM scene so have been laid aside. A top is often highly skilled, it is the ability they are regarded for after all, and in fact are more so than many Dom(me)s who are who they are because of their personal qualities and fit with a particular submissives requirements. As an experienced Top your pleasure comes from inducting somebody in to BDSM in some way or giving a particular person a uniquely pleasurable experience be that soft and sensual or sadistic and unrelenting. Many who say they are looking for a Dom(me) are actually seeking a skilled and reputable Top. They are easy to spot as they ride around on Unicorns " True words from the Sensei that pointed me in the right direction when it came to rope and associated activities. N&D's play are scenes of true beauty and connection. | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. " Excellent post I have encountered 'natural doms' who are nothing more than shouty little men who have watched 50 shades of Grey too often for their own good - Mrs. J - | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. Excellent post I have encountered 'natural doms' who are nothing more than shouty little men who have watched 50 shades of Grey too often for their own good - Mrs. J -" Indeed, met guys like this and ones who think slapping a collar on a lady = job done. Sadly also seen lots of women chase a collar too, not really caring what the guy is like. Both cases tend end badly and cause a massive drama in the local scene (pretty sure this is desired effect for some) Nobody is Dominant in everything.. I can walk through a room like I own the place, be fierce when pushed or someone is crossing a line. But tell me to go ask for something and im like a small child. Im loving exploring kink and learning, but will be long time before I even concidered finding a sub. Wiggles has had several subs, but gave up fet for ages simply due to all the Drama and spam. | |||
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"*waves* the Mr is naturally dominant. He doesn't class him self as a 'dom' but he has a dominant personality and will take control and is authoritative in the bedroom. Lucky me " we are the same. But do laugh at the "doms" who after seeing Mr with me think they can do the same. | |||
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" As an experienced Top your pleasure comes from inducting somebody in to BDSM in some way or giving a particular person a uniquely pleasurable experience be that soft and sensual or sadistic and unrelenting. Many who say they are looking for a Dom(me) are actually seeking a skilled and reputable Top. They are easy to spot as they ride around on Unicorns " I agree with this! Shame so many others don't take a similar view. | |||
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"I had a feeling this thread would develop along the current lines. I have to apologise in advance as I write in a blunt style and is not meant as a personal attack on anyone. The issue I have with this thread and blogs and articles like it is that the word 'dom' or use of the word 'dominant' is opaque. It means no more than what the person using it means and without further external description is meaningless. It is a stereotype without listing the attributes of the stereotype. I say this having been on a rope and psychology course. One of the exercises was to list the stereotypes of a dom and then the stereotypes of subs. It was illuminating. One thing that came out of the exercise is that saying 'dom' alone is less helpful than saying 'I want the perfect car and it must be diesel'. What makes a perfect car is a matter of individual choice. Following another line on the thread anyone who talks about natural dominants always raises a query with me. I know people who are dynamic and authoritive in vanilla life but are submissive in fetish. I know people who are the mildest nicest people you will meet but when it comes to play they are the most sadistic inventive doms that you will meet. Therefore I am not sure how a naturally born 'dom' can meet the near infinite preferences of the variety of subs. This is because every subs submission is different. To carry on with the car analogy, yes people may be born with a mechanical aptitude but these days specialisation in brands of car is the norm. So the mechanic fits around the brand of car. To boil it down, a good dom is one that works for the individual sub at a particular point in time. It then is a matter for an individual sub with his or her peculiar preferences to find a dom that matches those preferences. There are no cookie cutter doms in the same way there are no cookie cutter subs. It is an arduous process of going to munches, socials and chatting on line. Even when a potential candidate appears a proper negotiation is required. There was a good thread on FL about checklists for subs when interviewing potential doms. To me looking for a fetish partner is no different than looking for any other partner, it is not an easy process, without a bit of luck. So I wish all those looking good luck. Excellent post I have encountered 'natural doms' who are nothing more than shouty little men who have watched 50 shades of Grey too often for their own good - Mrs. J - Indeed, met guys like this and ones who think slapping a collar on a lady = job done. Sadly also seen lots of women chase a collar too, not really caring what the guy is like. Both cases tend end badly and cause a massive drama in the local scene (pretty sure this is desired effect for some) Nobody is Dominant in everything.. I can walk through a room like I own the place, be fierce when pushed or someone is crossing a line. But tell me to go ask for something and im like a small child. Im loving exploring kink and learning, but will be long time before I even concidered finding a sub. Wiggles has had several subs, but gave up fet for ages simply due to all the Drama and spam. " I am sexually submissive to my husband. I have yet to come across any 'natural or unnatural 'dom'' who could come even close to 'dominating' me My husband is a gentle giant but in the bedroom, he is my 'Master', so to speak. But I doubt very much that he would be successful in dominating any other woman. It has all to do with caring and respect and having a relationship; it is for me Physical attributes matter to me too; a little man is not somebody I would consider as dominant, no matter how much he argues and protests about it; it simply won't work with me - Mrs. J - | |||
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"I am not an expert on the subject. My opinion for what its worth Dom or sub there is still a person on the other side of that role treat them as that, and not as a label or an object " | |||
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