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Abusive mails from males . Why do it???

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By *ingers x OP   Man
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools. "

No they only fook it up for themselves.

What they say or do doesn't affect me at all....

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Because we are all supposed to. Excellent available at any time, to hop on any cock and when we don't.be become fat, ugly,timewasting, dogs, cunts...list goes on.

I'm thick skinned, doesn't bother me. Just report and block. Tra

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By *ickey and MinnieCouple
over a year ago

South of Bath

It's not just guys

We had an abusive message from a couple when we read but didn't reply to their message

It was so childish it was laughable. Just reported and blocked them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never understood the need to send abuse to someone online just because you don't get your way, I understand I'm not everybodies cup of tea, message deleted/unread/no reply, fair enough.

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

We had first proper one of these this week. A gent sent a message to our couples profile totally ignoring the male half - looked to be a scatter gun type message TBH. He got rejected and sent what wa supposed to be a hurtful message in return - it was more laughable than anything else but showed his true colours.

As far as we are concerned it's a bullet dodged!

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By *ew year funMan
over a year ago

travel country wide.

Not just men, I had a vial hateful message from a woman because I am bi! But said on her profile she was bi! Go figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools.

No they only fook it up for themselves.

What they say or do doesn't affect me at all...."

Those types of men have put me right off sex. They piss women off so much, they find it easier not to reply to mails to avoid getting abuse. Many women get so disgusted by the cavemen attitudes they leave the site.

They do have an effect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the pleasure of receiving some the crude messages of some the guys off here.

It's quite comical

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Not just men, I had a vial hateful message from a woman because I am bi! But said on her profile she was bi! Go figure "

Intrigued. So you didn't contact her yourself, you just got an abusive message ?

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre


"Never understood the need to send abuse to someone online just because you don't get your way, I understand I'm not everybodies cup of tea, message deleted/unread/no reply, fair enough. "

Never underestimate the selfishness of people. They always act like they are the only ones that matter and their needs come first. I blame all the mothers who have brought up their sons to believe that they are gold dust!!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Block and report but a lot of them send abuse then block us like a power trail but it's pathetic!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I've had the pleasure of receiving some the crude messages of some the guys off here.

It's quite comical "

Why would they send you abusive messages?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools. "

A friend of mine has decided not to meet anymore, fwb, but hey these things happen, no rude messages just good luck and keep in touch, but she has had a couple of not so nice messages from two guys she knows and has met and two from random nutjobs.

Wtf is wrong with people? Have fun then move on, if not fuck off off the site? Sorry rant over

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools.

No they only fook it up for themselves.

What they say or do doesn't affect me at all....

Those types of men have put me right off sex. They piss women off so much, they find it easier not to reply to mails to avoid getting abuse. Many women get so disgusted by the cavemen attitudes they leave the site.

They do have an effect."

Its true, I used to reply to every message even if it was a no thanks but the amount of abusive or "but why not?" messages I got in return means I just delete the ones I'm not interested in now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had the pleasure of receiving some the crude messages of some the guys off here.

It's quite comical

Why would they send you abusive messages?"

They message me presuming I'm bi or gay and when I decline they can get funny

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By *ldestswingerintownMan
over a year ago

Lancaster


"I blame all the mothers who have brought up their sons to believe that they are gold dust!!"

...so it's still all a woman's fault!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools.

No they only fook it up for themselves.

What they say or do doesn't affect me at all....

Those types of men have put me right off sex. They piss women off so much, they find it easier not to reply to mails to avoid getting abuse. Many women get so disgusted by the cavemen attitudes they leave the site.

They do have an effect."

The only effect they will have on me, is that I will dig my heels in even more.

I wont leave Fab because some men dont know how to behave, and have no respect

If they disrespect me, they will get the same right back at 'em.

My memoirs are almost ready for publication

They'll be sorry when I'm rich and famous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who have no self respect or self confidence belittle others to make themselves feel better. It's pretty sad, I actually feel sorry for them, they clearly have some mental health issues. No one who is happy in their life feels the need to be abusive to others for no reason. It's quite pathetic.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools.

No they only fook it up for themselves.

What they say or do doesn't affect me at all....

Those types of men have put me right off sex. They piss women off so much, they find it easier not to reply to mails to avoid getting abuse. Many women get so disgusted by the cavemen attitudes they leave the site.

They do have an effect."

It pisses me off and I don't get any messages,abusive or bot

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

"

This

Can count on our fingers, the amount of abusive messages we've had, since been on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years"

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Just a keyboard warriors way of chucking toys out of the pram when they don't get the instant fuck they feel entitled to!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?"

Because I'm polite and reply to all messages the men get upset with the rejection hence sent nasty replies, maybe I best not reply to save any bad feeling.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

When they get a no there ego gets hurt clowns.

If I get a no it doesn't worry and it's also nice they replied even if it's not what you want to hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools. "

Some people are just complete tools.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?"

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

"
but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation"

I'm going to adopt the 'rude' approach and not message. Having manners on here clearly doesn't work.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation"

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

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By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

OP I see you are straight. I am too so I use filters to block messages from single guys. Just a suggestion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we're not all like that. It's laughter, as these half wits that do it, would'nt dare open their traps in the street! Just skip, Hop, Jump to the nxt ladies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

"

I'm feeling exactly the same!!

I got an abusive message today after sending a polite message back, he then blocked so couldn't reply, which was rather annoying as I'm hormonal and wanted to chew his head off lol

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By *espectful 1Man
over a year ago

DY8

Personally I've never been abusive or offended anyone as far as I'm aware

Guess I'm just a nice guy

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

I'm feeling exactly the same!!

I got an abusive message today after sending a polite message back, he then blocked so couldn't reply, which was rather annoying as I'm hormonal and wanted to chew his head off lol

"

Another will come along soon so you'll get your hormonal fix!!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

I'm feeling exactly the same!!

I got an abusive message today after sending a polite message back, he then blocked so couldn't reply, which was rather annoying as I'm hormonal and wanted to chew his head off lol

"

I am curious as to why people think they should reply to people they aren't interested in.

Look at this way. They send you a message because they find you attractive. You don't find them attractive and you can either ignore them ( in which case they can infer you find them unattractive or they may just forget they sent a message) or you can directly tell them you are not interested in which case you are telling them you find them unattractive.

No one likes being told by someone they fancy that they aren't fancied back, so it seems to me the second option will always be more hurtful. And some guys will deal with that by lashing out with abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had it twice yesterday first was a couple who ignore the hubby and asked for me then threw a strop as my hubby answered them with their own msg as they apparently find it rude not to acknowledge both double standards much

The next was another couples profile but the male half as he's wife's dad had just died and he was looking to play alone...he got told we didn't agree with that he should be looking after his Mrs

He threw his toys out of his pram and told my hubby he must really respect me to watch while I fuck others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

"

Why do you think that is the case? Over the years Ive had many as, have most of the ladies on here. Ive tried different approaches but that doesn"t stop the occasional abuse at a polite refusal. Genuinally interested in why you dont get this.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"We had it twice yesterday first was a couple who ignore the hubby and asked for me then threw a strop as my hubby answered them with their own msg as they apparently find it rude not to acknowledge both double standards much

The next was another couples profile but the male half as he's wife's dad had just died and he was looking to play alone...he got told we didn't agree with that he should be looking after his Mrs

He threw his toys out of his pram and told my hubby he must really respect me to watch while I fuck others "

To be honest, if you make a personal criticism of someone, abuse back is pretty likely. Once again always best to just ignore if not interested

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Replying with "no thanks" is also likely to cause disappointment to a guy. He sees he has a message, gets all excited and then sees its just someone telling him to get lost. Guess massive deflation and, in some guys, lashing out with abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

I'm feeling exactly the same!!

I got an abusive message today after sending a polite message back, he then blocked so couldn't reply, which was rather annoying as I'm hormonal and wanted to chew his head off lol

I am curious as to why people think they should reply to people they aren't interested in.

Look at this way. They send you a message because they find you attractive. You don't find them attractive and you can either ignore them ( in which case they can infer you find them unattractive or they may just forget they sent a message) or you can directly tell them you are not interested in which case you are telling them you find them unattractive.

No one likes being told by someone they fancy that they aren't fancied back, so it seems to me the second option will always be more hurtful. And some guys will deal with that by lashing out with abuse. "

I understand your point of view, however I've always felt it's polite to reply either way?

But I'm beginning to think this isn't the best route to take and just delete in future...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

Why do you think that is the case? Over the years Ive had many as, have most of the ladies on here. Ive tried different approaches but that doesn"t stop the occasional abuse at a polite refusal. Genuinally interested in why you dont get this."

I think the abuse level directly correlates with how much they want to fuck you. Take it as a compliment.

I very rarely get abuse after saying no thanks. I think they are just relieved I turned them down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to try and reply to most messages back in the day, even if it was a no thank you. Not only was it time consuming, but some really got abusive. I've been called some pretty vile things on here. I find it easier not to even bother opening most messages now. It does make me more cautious in who i interact with. There are some lovely men on here. Especially in the forums, as you get to have a feel for them before a one to one interaction.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I reply to all messages but now thinking because that leads to more questions etc. I may now just delete and move on.

I'm feeling exactly the same!!

I got an abusive message today after sending a polite message back, he then blocked so couldn't reply, which was rather annoying as I'm hormonal and wanted to chew his head off lol

I am curious as to why people think they should reply to people they aren't interested in.

Look at this way. They send you a message because they find you attractive. You don't find them attractive and you can either ignore them ( in which case they can infer you find them unattractive or they may just forget they sent a message) or you can directly tell them you are not interested in which case you are telling them you find them unattractive.

No one likes being told by someone they fancy that they aren't fancied back, so it seems to me the second option will always be more hurtful. And some guys will deal with that by lashing out with abuse.

I understand your point of view, however I've always felt it's polite to reply either way?

But I'm beginning to think this isn't the best route to take and just delete in future... "

If normal life you would expect someone to reply if you send them some sort of message. This is a casual sex site and normal rules don't apply

It's really bad policy to reply if not interested. Many people will either get abusive, ask for reasons or try to talk you round. Not worth the hassle.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

How about hiding profile and contacting who you want to contact! Do any females do this?

I'm sick of these desperate men who abuse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about hiding profile and contacting who you want to contact! Do any females do this?

I'm sick of these desperate men who abuse! "

I've put my age filters to 98-99 before thus still allowing me to see who's viewed me and searched myself with a lot of success actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New to all this and reading this post and a few others I'm already beginning to wonder is it worth the effort.

I'm starting to ask should I just sit back and let some lady if interested make contact.

Maybe I'll keep my profile on pof after all as there's little nastiness on there and have met a few ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about hiding profile and contacting who you want to contact! Do any females do this?

I'm sick of these desperate men who abuse!

I've put my age filters to 98-99 before thus still allowing me to see who's viewed me and searched myself with a lot of success actually."

It's a little encouraging to read some ladies are proactive rather than expect the men to make contact first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

Why do you think that is the case? Over the years Ive had many as, have most of the ladies on here. Ive tried different approaches but that doesn"t stop the occasional abuse at a polite refusal. Genuinally interested in why you dont get this."

I honestly don't know. My profile is quite light hearted in the first place so I don't know if that helps. I've even had crude messages, not abusive, and when I've said that's not the way to talk to someone on here, they tend to be apologetic.

I'd probably say it's because I turn people down without saying anything that implies I don't find them attractive. It's usually because they can't accommodate or don't live near enough. Maybe those responses don't make them feel rejected because of the way they look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I very,very rarely get abusive messages even when I say no to someone.

They don't call me names, they just say thanks for the reply.

Why do you think that is the case? Over the years Ive had many as, have most of the ladies on here. Ive tried different approaches but that doesn"t stop the occasional abuse at a polite refusal. Genuinally interested in why you dont get this.

I honestly don't know. My profile is quite light hearted in the first place so I don't know if that helps. I've even had crude messages, not abusive, and when I've said that's not the way to talk to someone on here, they tend to be apologetic.

I'd probably say it's because I turn people down without saying anything that implies I don't find them attractive. It's usually because they can't accommodate or don't live near enough. Maybe those responses don't make them feel rejected because of the way they look."

I do the same.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Because we are all supposed to. Excellent available at any time, to hop on any cock and when we don't.be become fat, ugly,timewasting, dogs, cunts...list goes on.

I'm thick skinned, doesn't bother me. Just report and block. Tra "

Well said...

Never truer fab words spoken...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im scared of messaging woman now hahaha

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Im scared of messaging woman now hahaha"

Be scared be very scared!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour. "

A lot of people on the forums are pretty passive aggressive. Even demanding a reply for someone not interested is this same passive aggressive entitlement for show. Most normal people on here will shotgun their messages and move on fast if they dont receive a reply.

On the other side of that though, I think a lot of people also use their replies back as an excuse to throw out their "shade".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about hiding profile and contacting who you want to contact! Do any females do this?

I'm sick of these desperate men who abuse!

I've put my age filters to 98-99 before thus still allowing me to see who's viewed me and searched myself with a lot of success actually."

I did this too up until a month ago. I still enjoy searching myself, even though my filters have been amended. I agree that it can be more successful in chatting to those more like minded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah. No one fucks it up for anyone other then themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour. "

Well, I'd always prefer a response, even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm keenly aware that nobody is owed a response so if I don't receive one then it's nbd.

Maybe "remember: you are not owed a response" should be at the top of the page when you go to compose a message.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

Well, I'd always prefer a response, even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm keenly aware that nobody is owed a response so if I don't receive one then it's nbd.

Maybe "remember: you are not owed a response" should be at the top of the page when you go to compose a message."

Out of interest why would you want a reply rejecting you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same scenario me and a buddy are having. We are looking for bi guys and couples but there so many twunts who think that they have something that nobody else can offer and can't fathom nobody would tell them no.

The site has shifted to being dickhead centric opposed to 4-5 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

Well, I'd always prefer a response, even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm keenly aware that nobody is owed a response so if I don't receive one then it's nbd.

Maybe "remember: you are not owed a response" should be at the top of the page when you go to compose a message.

Out of interest why would you want a reply rejecting you? "

I don't see being rejected by someone as being a bad thing, as nobody is everyone's cup of tea, its just a thing that can and will happen.

So being told "no thanks" just gives some closure and I guess it seems a bit more polite?

But, like I said, no answer is fine too.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

Well, I'd always prefer a response, even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm keenly aware that nobody is owed a response so if I don't receive one then it's nbd.

Maybe "remember: you are not owed a response" should be at the top of the page when you go to compose a message.

Out of interest why would you want a reply rejecting you? "

Ask the men!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has no affect on me. Ive only ever had three abusive messages in nearly 11 years

I really wonder about people who claim they get abusive messages all the time. I can count on my hand the amount I have received from guys. In fact my last was from a TV.

I feel threads like these are really just a ploy to get into favor of the couples and women on here. I mean if people make "look at me" threads about their cock size and profiles...then why would they not about their "virtuosity" too?

We agree to an extent. We have only had one abusive message on all our time on the site despite tons of messages from men.

I don't understand why people feel the need to reject people by sending a message. That to me invites abuse because you are directly telling someone you don't find them attractive. Much better to just ignore if not interested and most men will just move on to the next profile in their scatter gun approach.

but then they complain that we are being rude, it's a lose lose situation

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

Well, I'd always prefer a response, even if it's a "thanks, but no thanks" but I'm keenly aware that nobody is owed a response so if I don't receive one then it's nbd.

Maybe "remember: you are not owed a response" should be at the top of the page when you go to compose a message.

Out of interest why would you want a reply rejecting you?

Ask the men! "

They did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour. "

There a few who have remarked about this. I wonder if it's because there's two types of guys here. Those who read carefully profiles and then compose a specific message and like me may only send a few messages a day and periodically check to see if I got a response.

Then as you point out there are many who send same message to hundreds. I get why they don't concern themselves if they don't get a reply. Laws of averages certainly is on their side and as it's not personal it makes no odds if they get no response.

I guess I do get a bit disappointed that after being asked to read carefully and write a personal message if it just gets deleted with no reply. After a few days it can make you wonder if it wouldn't be better to increase the laws of averages. Maybe they tried it this way first and now find blanket messaging works better. Will see soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I think is - would the abusive guys (or girls) do the same out there at clubs, batd/pubs or clubbing out there in the wild? No. They hide behind a keyboard.

Granted 95% of single users on here are there to cum and run but they never seem to grasp the concept of respect.

As far as I'm concerned if you can't grasp respect then you're dead in the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received an abusive message as I couldn't meet at the drop of a hat. I explained I was at work and would not be meeting until later that night. I was told I was "a vile horrible c@@t I will tell everyone that you're a timewaster and I hope you get a aids"

There's some lovely people on here

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"All I think is - would the abusive guys (or girls) do the same out there at clubs, batd/pubs or clubbing out there in the wild? No. They hide behind a keyboard.

Granted 95% of single users on here are there to cum and run but they never seem to grasp the concept of respect.

As far as I'm concerned if you can't grasp respect then you're dead in the water."

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

There a few who have remarked about this. I wonder if it's because there's two types of guys here. Those who read carefully profiles and then compose a specific message and like me may only send a few messages a day and periodically check to see if I got a response.

Then as you point out there are many who send same message to hundreds. I get why they don't concern themselves if they don't get a reply. Laws of averages certainly is on their side and as it's not personal it makes no odds if they get no response.

I guess I do get a bit disappointed that after being asked to read carefully and write a personal message if it just gets deleted with no reply. After a few days it can make you wonder if it wouldn't be better to increase the laws of averages. Maybe they tried it this way first and now find blanket messaging works better. Will see soon."

I take your point, but if someone deletes your message it's clear they aren't interested. I am not sure why sending a message to say they aren't interested is any better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'll continue to reply either way, because I'm not changing who I am for the small minority.

My messages are always polite and will remain so.... Now wears my shield and ear plugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A few blokes in the forums say that if they don't get a reply they think it is rude, but most guys really don't give a shit. . They message loads of women and have probably forgotten they sent you a message if you don't reply within a hour.

There a few who have remarked about this. I wonder if it's because there's two types of guys here. Those who read carefully profiles and then compose a specific message and like me may only send a few messages a day and periodically check to see if I got a response.

Then as you point out there are many who send same message to hundreds. I get why they don't concern themselves if they don't get a reply. Laws of averages certainly is on their side and as it's not personal it makes no odds if they get no response.

I guess I do get a bit disappointed that after being asked to read carefully and write a personal message if it just gets deleted with no reply. After a few days it can make you wonder if it wouldn't be better to increase the laws of averages. Maybe they tried it this way first and now find blanket messaging works better. Will see soon.

I take your point, but if someone deletes your message it's clear they aren't interested. I am not sure why sending a message to say they aren't interested is any better. "

Just an observation. Maybe because few reply even to politely say no thanks that it has caused the masses to just turn to generic nonpersonalise mass messaging. Just a thought.

Had two replie's in my time her so far. One in reply to a massage offered...found out they were charging £50 for it. If I wanted a body massage I'd get one for £20 with a masseuse locally.

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By *ingers x OP   Man
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Good responses fabbers.

Respect good morals and politeness is paramount x

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

With the push by the CPS to clamp down on hate crime online hopefully once some start being brought to account for such behaviours then maybe the word will get round that its not acceptable..

people who own and run sites will have to up their game where it is a problem..

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Is no one polite any more abuse is very unattractive no need to abusive

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


" Hi fabbers x

Had me the best meet ever last night and after deep discussion etc i cant imagine the morals of some of the guys on here. Why the need to send abuse to fellow fabbers ?really? Its a bit cave man likes .

You guys fook it up for the genuines you foools. "

Cannot understand why negatives when there is so much fun on here.

Totally at a loss......

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