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Dom lessons (as in mind games)

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Andy wants to learn more about owning people.... willing to learn from experienced dom with good veris xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch the box set of Roots?

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Roots like bleach my roots???

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

all you need to do is find someone willing to submit, that's the hard part.

i love being manipulative and making a guy think about me. it's not that hard either.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Andy wants to learn more about owning people.... willing to learn from experienced dom with good veris xxx"

I would suggest he reads spanking the maid by Robert coover it change my life as teenager .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Andy wants to learn more about owning people.... willing to learn from experienced dom with good veris xxx"

We tried asking a similar question in the forum and got the same sort of smart-arse replies. It does seem difficult to find a openly dom dom or sub.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

my reply wasn't smart arse.

domination and submission is more complicated than just finding someone and doing tricks on them.

you're either manipulative or not, dominant or not, submissive or not, etc. people can play roles if they want to and there's no problem with that either, but the high amount of people only wanting to play means most actual people into BDSM keep a lot of stuff to themselves coz we go deeper than role play.

i don't offer much info myself because you can use manipulation to abuse people as well. you can google for this info also but unless you enjoy being manipulative and fucking with someone else it's not gonna work...especially if they only want role play and aren't into being headfucked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my reply wasn't smart arse.

domination and submission is more complicated than just finding someone and doing tricks on them.

you're either manipulative or not, dominant or not, submissive or not, etc. people can play roles if they want to and there's no problem with that either, but the high amount of people only wanting to play means most actual people into BDSM keep a lot of stuff to themselves coz we go deeper than role play.

i don't offer much info myself because you can use manipulation to abuse people as well. you can google for this info also but unless you enjoy being manipulative and fucking with someone else it's not gonna work...especially if they only want role play and aren't into being headfucked."

It wasn't your reply I was referring to. Interesting post!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"my reply wasn't smart arse.

domination and submission is more complicated than just finding someone and doing tricks on them.

you're either manipulative or not, dominant or not, submissive or not, etc. people can play roles if they want to and there's no problem with that either, but the high amount of people only wanting to play means most actual people into BDSM keep a lot of stuff to themselves coz we go deeper than role play.

i don't offer much info myself because you can use manipulation to abuse people as well. you can google for this info also but unless you enjoy being manipulative and fucking with someone else it's not gonna work...especially if they only want role play and aren't into being headfucked.

It wasn't your reply I was referring to. Interesting post!"

ok. wasn't sure if people are taking my troll name as my forum status.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

You read, read and read some more. There is no quick answer but there is no way to become a Dom/me, it's part of who you are.

Anyone can be a good service top but the difference is huge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I learnt a lot from reading and being mentored by a couple of Pro-Dommes I know, I would recommend that anyone interested in learning about domination first looks at the concepts and ideals behind it - trust, honesty, open communication etc before they even consider picking up a cane and doing some serious damage to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"all you need to do is find someone willing to submit, that's the hard part.

i love being manipulative and making a guy think about me. it's not that hard either.

"

Teach me!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"all you need to do is find someone willing to submit, that's the hard part.

i love being manipulative and making a guy think about me. it's not that hard either.

Teach me! "

thought i had been doing, if he doesn't submit then it's not gonna work.

and that is when ball stamping comes into play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"all you need to do is find someone willing to submit, that's the hard part.

i love being manipulative and making a guy think about me. it's not that hard either.

Teach me!

thought i had been doing, if he doesn't submit then it's not gonna work.

and that is when ball stamping comes into play. "

Yeah you have and you're good- he's the shit one. I'll give it one last chance. Then it's boots time.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"all you need to do is find someone willing to submit, that's the hard part.

i love being manipulative and making a guy think about me. it's not that hard either.

Teach me!

thought i had been doing, if he doesn't submit then it's not gonna work.

and that is when ball stamping comes into play.

Yeah you have and you're good- he's the shit one. I'll give it one last chance. Then it's boots time. "

nip his balls when you suck him off. test the waters.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Like to experience fucking with a couples minds and bodies

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By *omis.69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

It's been said numerous times and I hate to repeat it but learn the mind and then work on controlling it .. the body will soon follow !!!

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Yes that sounds so logical. I am thinking winning trust and knowing limits and discovering their deep hidden desires is the first step

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By *omis.69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Trust, understanding, and finding boundaries, exploring and pushing them

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By *oreFunForAllCouple
over a year ago

Dumstable

There are a few good books that can give some guidance and insight but there is a big difference between someone being dominant and someone being a Dominant or Master.

There are other sites that might be more suited to your research. Something with Fet in it

If there any specific questions you have feel free to ask or if you want a Submissive's point of view Sub can give that too.

It's an exciting and fulfilling world, good luck on the journey of discovery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no quick win to becoming a dom... But you can learn more about it from some decent literature and attending the usual munches and fetish events. It takes years to master and you will need to invest a lot of your time into it... The pay off is worth it though. 10 years in and I'm still learning new things every week. Good luck op and I hope you are successful with your quest

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"I learnt a lot from reading and being mentored by a couple of Pro-Dommes I know, I would recommend that anyone interested in learning about domination first looks at the concepts and ideals behind it - trust, honesty, open communication etc before they even consider picking up a cane and doing some serious damage to someone. "

Spot on brother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest Tristan Taormino The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge as a good book to read. Some very interesting chapters on the Mind Fuck and Fear Play.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

Ok some of the other doms have already said much of what needs to be said.

I blame that stupid book and film for this stuff.

First point: S&M should never Fuck with someones head! You should be fucking thier mind, BIG difference!

Second point: Surrender is a desire the Dom fullfills for the Subs pleasure. Get that its giving to the sub NOT taking from them!

Third point: The Sub is actually the one with the power, read story of O. All of it not just the naughty bits!

Fourh point: Doms get their kick from the creative pleasure of the sub and the feeling of being wanted desired and trusted, gained in knowing the sub WANTS YOU to deliver it.

Fith point: Slavery is illegal! Its surrender!

Final point: Before you pick up a cane sort out your own brain!

Now do as your told and think about what you have done!

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

There's a post in stories and fantasy here 'I miss" it gives a good insight in to the want left in a sub after her dom has gone/booted figure out the connection she had with her dom and it will give u an insight into ur role as a dom

Every day is a learning day j never knew I had it in me till I started meeting here and have experienced the connection between a sub and dom to me it came naturally but the learning experience that followed was a mind fuck

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"There's a post in stories and fantasy here 'I miss" it gives a good insight in to the want left in a sub after her dom has gone/booted figure out the connection she had with her dom and it will give u an insight into ur role as a dom

Every day is a learning day j never knew I had it in me till I started meeting here and have experienced the connection between a sub and dom to me it came naturally but the learning experience that followed was a mind fuck "

I miss excellent very well discribed.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"There's a post in stories and fantasy here 'I miss" it gives a good insight in to the want left in a sub after her dom has gone/booted figure out the connection she had with her dom and it will give u an insight into ur role as a dom

Every day is a learning day j never knew I had it in me till I started meeting here and have experienced the connection between a sub and dom to me it came naturally but the learning experience that followed was a mind fuck

I miss excellent very well discribed."

Thank you. It was originally posted while he was on holiday but it later ended. The I miss sentiments are still very much with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I can throw in my two penneth from my own experiences. I'm no expert and others here are probably way better qualified but:

There is no standardised route so all of the reading and careful planning, which is of course well worthwhile, can go out the window when you find a sub you connect with.

It's a journey you go on together, the SM part of the relationship grows organically. The sub's limits and, indeed, your own can adapt and change.

At least that's how I've found it.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"If I can throw in my two penneth from my own experiences. I'm no expert and others here are probably way better qualified but:

There is no standardised route so all of the reading and careful planning, which is of course well worthwhile, can go out the window when you find a sub you connect with.

It's a journey you go on together, the SM part of the relationship grows organically. The sub's limits and, indeed, your own can adapt and change.

At least that's how I've found it."

All travel different roads but yes together.

What infuriates me are those whos selfish desires for abuse are labeled Dom/Sub.

If is not mutual it is not Dom/Sub it is mesogeny.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Thanks for all the advice I will check out all you have said. Also wanted to add my excitement is all about the pleasure the sub gets from the experience and knowing they trust me implicitly.

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

Head over to the site ( life of fet )

Some excellent information written by both Dom and subs on this topic x

My advice - own the mind and the body will follow !

Enjoy playing and discovering x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All he needs to do is be assertive and take control of the situation. though that would be obvd

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"Thanks for all the advice I will check out all you have said. Also wanted to add my excitement is all about the pleasure the sub gets from the experience and knowing they trust me implicitly. "

i miss someone being vulnerable to me. it's very humbling and i enjoy that.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Maybe a good way to learn is for Andy to be sub for someone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ahhh I see the BDSM "special" crowd still using thier own heads as butt plugs.

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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•


"ahhh I see the BDSM "special" crowd still using thier own heads as butt plugs.

"

sorry, i'm one of those people who is too opinionated.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

If you are truly a Dom you will not need someone to give you lessons only help showing you how to ues some of the more rigorous equipment safely you are or you are not..

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"All he needs to do is be assertive and take control of the situation. though that would be obvd"

Aggressive is not Dom Control .

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Very much about communication, discussions around hard and soft limits, what has been experienced and what desires are there.

Several aspects to BDSM, it does not mean that all are going to enjoyed or explored.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???"

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get off the interwebz, and go to a munch, demo or play event

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just speak in short sentences.

It makes you sound like you know what your talking about.

Everything everybody else says is rubbish.

Now worship me as am a twue God.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are truly a Dom you will not need someone to give you lessons only help showing you how to ues some of the more rigorous equipment safely you are or you are not..

"

What tripe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

"

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them. "

I think that's what he was saying too.... but still no one offers training. ..smiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

I think that's what he was saying too.... but still no one offers training. ..smiles"

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Thx118.... why waste finger energy and electricity to add nothing? And why the abusive attitude?

As in

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

Add help or positive and be respectful or maybe just think it because we are all on this site for fun not abuse???

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them. "

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples .

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Thx118.... why waste finger energy and electricity to add nothing? And why the abusive attitude?

As in

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

Add help or positive and be respectful or maybe just think it because we are all on this site for fun not abuse???"

Never debate with ignorance its a waste of brain power at the end of the day .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thx118.... why waste finger energy and electricity to add nothing? And why the abusive attitude?

As in

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

Add help or positive and be respectful or maybe just think it because we are all on this site for fun not abuse???"

I did that big post above.

then you asked why people don't want to provide you a free sevice and I helpfully told you why.

you are asking for somone to work for free for you.

same as everyone who asks of forums for logo/web design expecting it for free.

the best thing you can do is go to a professional pay the money and sensibly like an adult discuss and learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thx118.... why waste finger energy and electricity to add nothing? And why the abusive attitude?

As in

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

Add help or positive and be respectful or maybe just think it because we are all on this site for fun not abuse???

Never debate with ignorance its a waste of brain power at the end of the day ."

awww I'm sorry did your little emotional rant about video games not let out all that pent up frustration?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thx118.... why waste finger energy and electricity to add nothing? And why the abusive attitude?

As in

yes no one will partly because

1) it's fucking boring

2) its work

3) you're not paying

go to a pro dom as a couple pay your 150 an hour or whatever the rate is these days (probbaly higher for couples) and have a lesson

Add help or positive and be respectful or maybe just think it because we are all on this site for fun not abuse???

Never debate with ignorance its a waste of brain power at the end of the day ."

awww I'm sorry did your little emotional rant about video games not let out all that pent up frustration?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples ."

I'm curious as to why you call it ignorant?

my disillusionment with the bdsm scene is borne out of familiarity not ignorance.

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Smiles at Thx and can only wonder why he tries to take over a legitimate topic to make himself look sill as if it's all about him?

awww I'm sorry did your little emotional rant about video games not let out all that pent up frustration?

Not really helpful or even relative? Not sure why at all unless you're only satisfaction is upsetting folk?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples .

I'm curious as to why you call it ignorant?

my disillusionment with the bdsm scene is borne out of familiarity not ignorance.

"

Because you are generalising and stereotyping all as the same and if you have experience in the scene you really should no better .

You sound bitter from your experiences in the scene and if that is the case you have my sympathy and your behavior in generalising and stereotyping is understandable in a way but still not acceptable as I'm sure you know deep down .

I have myself have had my own experiences in the scene which I choose to own be those experiences good or bad

I do not blame the dynamic for them just the individuals who I happened to come into contact with through my experiences nor do I pass a general generalisation of those individual as if I no it all and what motivates them all

To do so would be very foolish thing to do in my opinion .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples ."

What are you on about?

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples .

I'm curious as to why you call it ignorant?

my disillusionment with the bdsm scene is borne out of familiarity not ignorance.

"
you know nothing of the bdsm scene. I've been in it over 30 years .come and see me and I'll stick a few needles through your scrotum.why do you upset so many on here .is that how you get your kicks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

I think that's what he was saying too.... but still no one offers training. ..smiles"

He's given some great information. Talk to each other and find out what makes you tick. Learn from each other. Both sub & dom need to get what they want from it.

If you want 'training' in person look up local fet events. Some clubs have BDSM events where people do demonstrations.

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By *rLucky777Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Agree likes, dislikes, boundaries beforehand. Start slow and gain trust. If being physical have a safe word system. Red, amber, green.

Test the waters and see what pushes her buttons.

Depending on the sub. I like to put a collar on her. Then she's mine and belongs to me.

A lot of subs like giving power and control over to someone else. This is a special gift so use it wisely otherwise you may not get it again.

Communication is key. Although sometimes their mouth is too full of cock to speak!

Most of all just have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP,

There are two aspects to your thread, firstly is your question about learning to own someone, and secondly is the issue about learning to own someone.

What most people are saying is that before a person learns to own someone, it is best that they understand what owning someone means. To use a crass example (which I will use to death)it is like saying I want to learn how to own a dog. People will say to you that before learning to own a dog, you have to understand what owning a dog means and then decide if you want to learn to own a dog.

At this point people's views diverge, as some will say if you want to own a dog you have to naturally be a dog person. Others will say you need to know how to get into a dog's mind to own a dog. Others will say a dog needs strict discipline to keep it on its paws, whereas others will say you don't own the dog, the dog owns you.

My take is this: different breeds of dog need a different approach, so you need to know what type of dog you want to own and study its charactistics. Even then within the breed type each dog has its own personality therefore you need to be willing to understand the specific dog you want to own. You then have to be willing to care for the dog and look after its well being both mental and physical. That means understanding what type of owner the dog wants, to what sort of training it will respond. You have to be there for the dog so it feels secure and safe with its owner. In this way a person will learn how to own a specific dog. To some it may sound surprisingly like being in a relationship.

There are books like, the Loving Dominant; Screw the Roses give me the thorns; and other books people can mention.

However, if person wants a party animal to do tricks, just go online and get a subscription to certain hardcore bdsm sites and they show all kinds of fun things you can do. Just don't be surprised if after a short time the dog bites you and runs away.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all getting so confusing... really don't understand why someone who is confident and eager to learn can't do so? Not sure that you have to be born a dom... many people learn many different skills throughout their life, I have myself taught many young people different skills... and enjoyed watching them learn and perfect the skills. Not sure bill Gates was born a computer engineer? But maybe I'm wrong???

because "doms" live to elevate themselves to some mythical status.

I'm sure if your read any bdsm threads on here you've seen the circle jerk of "real" and "true" "doms".

in reality it isn't that way. being a dom is actuslly relatively simple, if you come at it from a sub/normal point of view it seems horendusly complicated/difficult.

look at it from the other side and you realise the average dom is a moron and predictable.

dom games are pretty simple it mainly all depends on your sub.

what they like/don't like etc.

speak to, presumably your missus, about it and ehat she wants.

succeed/fail games are a staple, you should design the reward and the punishment to both be something you know your sub would want. trick is one they would admit they want is thier win what they dont want to admit is thier fail.

guess what, when you do that nearly everyone fails....

for the average person bdsm is the removal of guilt and control.

yes theres more with masochism, humiliation etc but that's generally going to be either down the line or more extreme than you're planning.

Excellent.

All this elitist 'you're born dom' bullshit makes me snigger. Bless them.

Are you really applauding this list of ignorant generalisations I wonder whether you would be so keen if it was a list of ignorant generalisation on any other topic like single females on fab or bi men or swinging couples .

I'm curious as to why you call it ignorant?

my disillusionment with the bdsm scene is borne out of familiarity not ignorance.

you know nothing of the bdsm scene. I've been in it over 30 years .come and see me and I'll stick a few needles through your scrotum.why do you upset so many on here .is that how you get your kicks "

I have a 12 inch slash across my chest but a hypodermic is just super edgy.

but you kinda prove my point here, anyone who disagrees with the highly vocal bdsm crowd gets all sorts of silly things spouted at then

I actually upset very few people on here, I get a surprising amount t of "I agree with you pms" on most controversial topics.

some people find blunt honesty upsetting some find it liberating.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"OP,

There are two aspects to your thread, firstly is your question about learning to own someone, and secondly is the issue about learning to own someone.

What most people are saying is that before a person learns to own someone, it is best that they understand what owning someone means. To use a crass example (which I will use to death)it is like saying I want to learn how to own a dog. People will say to you that before learning to own a dog, you have to understand what owning a dog means and then decide if you want to learn to own a dog.

At this point people's views diverge, as some will say if you want to own a dog you have to naturally be a dog person. Others will say you need to know how to get into a dog's mind to own a dog. Others will say a dog needs strict discipline to keep it on its paws, whereas others will say you don't own the dog, the dog owns you.

My take is this: different breeds of dog need a different approach, so you need to know what type of dog you want to own and study its charactistics. Even then within the breed type each dog has its own personality therefore you need to be willing to understand the specific dog you want to own. You then have to be willing to care for the dog and look after its well being both mental and physical. That means understanding what type of owner the dog wants, to what sort of training it will respond. You have to be there for the dog so it feels secure and safe with its owner. In this way a person will learn how to own a specific dog. To some it may sound surprisingly like being in a relationship.

There are books like, the Loving Dominant; Screw the Roses give me the thorns; and other books people can mention.

However, if person wants a party animal to do tricks, just go online and get a subscription to certain hardcore bdsm sites and they show all kinds of fun things you can do. Just don't be surprised if after a short time the dog bites you and runs away.

Good luck."

Love this Ozzz

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By *IZZLERS OP   Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"OP,

There are two aspects to your thread, firstly is your question about learning to own someone, and secondly is the issue about learning to own someone.

What most people are saying is that before a person learns to own someone, it is best that they understand what owning someone means. To use a crass example (which I will use to death)it is like saying I want to learn how to own a dog. People will say to you that before learning to own a dog, you have to understand what owning a dog means and then decide if you want to learn to own a dog.

At this point people's views diverge, as some will say if you want to own a dog you have to naturally be a dog person. Others will say you need to know how to get into a dog's mind to own a dog. Others will say a dog needs strict discipline to keep it on its paws, whereas others will say you don't own the dog, the dog owns you.

My take is this: different breeds of dog need a different approach, so you need to know what type of dog you want to own and study its charactistics. Even then within the breed type each dog has its own personality therefore you need to be willing to understand the specific dog you want to own. You then have to be willing to care for the dog and look after its well being both mental and physical. That means understanding what type of owner the dog wants, to what sort of training it will respond. You have to be there for the dog so it feels secure and safe with its owner. In this way a person will learn how to own a specific dog. To some it may sound surprisingly like being in a relationship.

There are books like, the Loving Dominant; Screw the Roses give me the thorns; and other books people can mention.

However, if person wants a party animal to do tricks, just go online and get a subscription to certain hardcore bdsm sites and they show all kinds of fun things you can do. Just don't be surprised if after a short time the dog bites you and runs away.

Good luck.

Love this Ozzz "

We loved it too

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