FabSwingers.com forum: Should time wasters be named n shamed???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed .

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

They'll just pop up again with a different name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you count as a time waster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it would be a case of it getting abused as well as a case of he said she said.

only thing to do would be report and block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a problem with this. People could use it if they were spurned by someone. There are too many ways that people would take advantage of the 'name and shame' system imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

But how would you prove it ? been tried several times to raise this issue but usually the thread gets shut down .... pretty quickly !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone who you travel across the country to meet and pay for hotels for nothing . That's a time waster.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"Someone who you travel across the country to meet and pay for hotels for nothing . That's a time waster."

Did they send a message to cancel or just not show up?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Someone who you travel across the country to meet and pay for hotels for nothing . That's a time waster."

Report them, block and move on. It's not great but it happens to all of us on here at some point.

It's how we deal with it and learn from it that's important

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By *_and_f2007Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Could a date system be implemented into fab, one party suggests a time and date to another party - if this is agreed it's recorded on fab if a party doesn't turn up then we could a three strike system like eBay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's just disgusting how people will allow you to travel/ get hotels etc as they have come across as genuine. We will no longer entertain the idea of meeting anyone who isn't verified.£100 thrown away isn't my idea of a good night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you had a shit time. But there is no certain, verifiable way of proving a time waster. This then leaves it up to anyone "naming and shaming" anyone else for any reason whatsoever.

Such a system would be open to ridiculous levels of abuse.

That's why they don't, won't and shouldn't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just disgusting how people will allow you to travel/ get hotels etc as they have come across as genuine. We will no longer entertain the idea of meeting anyone who isn't verified.£100 thrown away isn't my idea of a good night. "

Just out of curiosity, did you have some sort of back up plan in case of a no show. You've got each other, you could go to a club, put a last minute meet now request, all to potentially savage the evening. You shouldn't let a no show ruin an evening.

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By *rego69Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Arrange a day out round it.

Surely time tells you to have a plan b c or d.

Don't complain too much the Government will make a law about it.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP I can understand you are pissed off but naming and shaming isn't the answer.

For example "Happydaysx arranged to meet but didn't show up, avoid!"

Now we have never arranged anything but if I put this up as a status update everyone in our local area will see it. I could be giving you a bad name for no reason.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't see how sad people get their kicks out of messing people around. I guess being a genuine couple we expect others to be genuine too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I block time wasters straight away or anyone who lives far away if they message me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think we will only meet at clubs in future. Forget driving around the country paying out on everything. Hey ho live and learn. We won't be meeting people who aren't verified already either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would be a lame game, you'd just get idiots calling genuine fabbers time wasters and then it would really kick off! Just block and make sure you verify thoroughly before meet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would be a lame game, you'd just get idiots calling genuine fabbers time wasters and then it would really kick off x"

That's the status quo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you arranged a meet and it was a no show, you can report them as a no show. Then just block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Because some people on here are twisted and mental and would lie to get people banned.They would have a field day lying about people time wasting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why we only ever meet new people for the first time at a club, yes some people dont go to clubs but at least you could still have a good night out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could a date system be implemented into fab, one party suggests a time and date to another party - if this is agreed it's recorded on fab if a party doesn't turn up then we could a three strike system like eBay "

This is a great idea since the evidence is usually that timewasters don't keep feelings after they waste your time. They usually block or ignore messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we will only meet at clubs in future. Forget driving around the country paying out on everything. Hey ho live and learn. We won't be meeting people who aren't verified already either. "

just coz someone is verified doesnt stop them being timewasters

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By *unboytoyMan
over a year ago

scotland

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

Yes please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that's a concept designed for those with any issue with other fabbers...

Why stop at time wasters let's just name and shame anyone who wastes out time blocks us says something we might disagree with had the wrong coffee for breakfast or wears green shoes

There is a report button...

Beyond that fab can be enough of a bitchfest without naming and shaming others....

Just where do we stop with that concept...

And why are there so many here who feel the need to continually tell others that the only way to be on fab is their way...

And before the outcry starts...

I have never not turned up for a meet... and have been the victim of time wasters...

Just forget them and move on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we will only meet at clubs in future. Forget driving around the country paying out on everything. Hey ho live and learn. We won't be meeting people who aren't verified already either. "

Had you spoken to them on the phone or cam? When did they cancel or did they just not turn up?

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By *.spot77Man
over a year ago

Basildon

I would like to say that yes time waster and the other ones that ask to meet up and ask for your life stories and pictures and the next thing you get blocked by them or delete there profile can't understand why there are so many people who are looking to play with your mind and make it not being able to trust anyone who has been in touch with meet request and don't turn up or don't have any respect for people's feelings and I have had lots of messages from time waster I have blocked lots of them is there any good genuine people who want the same as the next person who is on here for some fun with you me and every one that is not going to waste your fucking time

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By *unboytoyMan
over a year ago

scotland

"I would like to say that yes time waster and the other ones that ask to meet up and ask for your life stories and pictures and the next thing you get blocked by them or delete there profile can't understand why there are so many people who are looking to play with your mind and make it not being able to trust anyone who has been in touch with meet request and don't turn up or don't have any respect for people's feelings and I have had lots of messages from time waster I have blocked lots of them is there any good genuine people who want the same as the next person who is on here for some fun with you me and every one that is not going to waste your fucking time "

The man talks sense ken

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Who will act as judge and jury between the genuine timewasting reports and the spiteful folk on here ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The man talks sense ken "

Talks sense?? I could barely bloody breathe!

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I loved the syntax too!

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By *unboytoyMan
over a year ago

scotland

The man talks sense ken

Talks sense?? I could barely bloody breathe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes specially girls only looking for attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes specially girls only looking for attention"

So you want a men only site? Fabguys is that way .

Every woman on here is looking for some form of attention

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By *unboytoyMan
over a year ago

scotland

"Yes specially girls only looking for attention"

Think everyone's looking for attention , who can shout the loudest lol

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Been on here about eight years, I don't meet anyone not local because the further they need to travel the less likely they are to turn up. Having said that local meets haven't turned up. I've traveled and people haven't turned up. Part of swinging, take it or leave it. You haven't been here long, it will happen a lot more than once. Part and parcel of swinging. Should people be named and shamed? No, unless you know their life story. You don't know what's happened in their life for them not to turn up. Sometimes one side pushes to meet before the other side is ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hung, Drawn and Quartered OP please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

Did you not know that consent for sex can be withdrawn at any time?? Just because people chat to others does not mean they have to fuck with them, they are allowed to change their minds. Where does shame come into it??

I,d say bigger fools you for getting a hotel room and traveling miles to meet a single female. Maybe you were too pushy with your demands and they got cold feet. Whatever the reason they are allowed to back out. Or maybe they were a man, did you speak to them on the phone? It would be polite, yes, to let the other party know but it often doesn't happen as its nsa and not relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's the thing we travelled and we was suggested it only being a social meet. So there was no pressure either way. The hotel was only booked so that we could have a laugh and a drink and get to know each other and wouldn't have to worry about traveling back after a long day. So it isn't about the fact we was expecting sex as we wasn't. We was expecting her to turn up and not waste our Friday night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you had such a crap time and that you wasted your time and money on a no-show.

Some interesting suggestions such as a back-up plan.. club etc.

And as someone earlier pointed out, there is a chance some would use the 'name and shame' to their own devious ends.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"That's the thing we travelled and we was suggested it only being a social meet. So there was no pressure either way. The hotel was only booked so that we could have a laugh and a drink and get to know each other and wouldn't have to worry about traveling back after a long day. So it isn't about the fact we was expecting sex as we wasn't. We was expecting her to turn up and not waste our Friday night. "

Ah it was a single woman! Maybe she got cold feet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/08/17 07:00:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you speak to her on the phone ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No . That being a massive mistake. We live n learn. From now on we will only meet at clubs. Hope she enjoyed playing her games and I hope karma bites her on the arse. I can see why on some people's profiles now why they come across as being cold. Sad little people with sad little lives.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Could be wrong, but this is sounding more and more like it was a bloke pretending and that in their eagerness to meet a "unicorn" the OP did not do any checks to ensure they were genuine.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"No . That being a massive mistake. We live n learn. From now on we will only meet at clubs. Hope she enjoyed playing her games and I hope karma bites her on the arse. I can see why on some people's profiles now why they come across as being cold. Sad little people with sad little lives. "

There is a very high chance that alleged single women on here are actually men pretending. Never ever agree to meet a single woman without asking to speak to her on the phone or see her on cam. If they refuse or make excuses it's a bloke.

Your one was definitely a bloke.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm confused why OP never made a phone call to 'unicorn' and just seemingly randomly booked a hotel room with no verbal conversation.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

You travelled ... booked a room to meet a complete stranger ?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone who you travel across the country to meet and pay for hotels for nothing . That's a time waster."

I see your frustration if you'd had gone to those lengths but personally I'd have thought

Aww well, his/her/their loss we'll have fun with it without you!

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

Op you travelled to a different part of the country and had a hotel booked yet didn't enjoy spending time together, going out to for drinks and a meal and then making the most of the hotel room without her?

She didn't waste your Friday night, you managed to that yourselves!

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

She didn't waste your Friday night, you managed to that yourselves!"

I'm with these guys - if I don't have the greatest meet or we get ditched, my other half and I do Date Night instead - lovely meal out, maybe the cinema too, enjoy the hotel room...repeatedly

The meet is the bonus, not the main event!

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

How do you stop people lying? I could contacty fab and say you arranged to meet me and didn't show up.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

give the ability to a bunch of narcissists to vent and get even ,can you imagine the shit storm that would end up being .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you didn't speak to them then i very much doubt it was a "she". Far more likely to be a guy messing you about.

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

Yes they should x

But it should be a thread on the main forums

A pinned thread that you could go to if you were checking out if someone is genuine x

Although most people on here can smell a fake

I went against my better judgement recently and start to chat to someone itch no verification or pic x

Arranged to meet twice and twice they disappeared x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

Yes

We'll start with you two

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Can't believe how naive OP has been to be honest. Maybe next time let the other party book and pay for the hotel and get confirmation it's been done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Report...block and move on

Simples

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By *icoleAndLisaTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

Time wasters are a sad fact of life on here. Set your mail filters and your own filters as best you can to minimise the risk. I won't dress (properly) for anything less than two verifications from different people. I won't shave my legs for less than 4.

And when someone is particularly dickish, I will name and shame them in a status update and even in my profile text. That's not just for no shows though. That's for idiots like the one who cancelled on me, but tried to make it about my attitude (I'd been perfectly friendly with him) so that he didn't have to feel guilty or apologise.

I like the idea of a 'meets' function. For every 5 that you fail to attend, a red flag appears on your profile. Maybe expiring after 3 months or removable by mutual agreement (it could have been a misunderstanding.) Still prone to tit-for-tat retaliation though. You could end up with a red flag simply for reporting 5 time wasters who decided to report you back out of spite.

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"Time wasters are a sad fact of life on here. Set your mail filters and your own filters as best you can to minimise the risk. I won't dress (properly) for anything less than two verifications from different people. I won't shave my legs for less than 4.

Naming and shaming of any kind is not permitted by the site. If someone spots it on your status or profile and then reports to admin you run the risk of them closing your account down!

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By *rotic JaneWoman
over a year ago

London

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

Yes. If fab would allow it I would name and shame you both for not meeting me last night. 1 hour I waited for you both.

Of course I am lying. I did not arrange to meet you both last night.

Do you see how easy it would be to lie and abuse the name and shame system?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Should time wasters be named and shamed? The big question hey . I guess there are more time wasters than genuine people on this site. We should be able to report and get them removed ."

Definitely that happy days couple are just a bloke and they didn't turn up to three meets so please can you ban them

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By *rotic JaneWoman
over a year ago

London

"Yes they should x

But it should be a thread on the main forums

A pinned thread that you could go to if you were checking out if someone is genuine x

Although most people on here can smell a fake

I went against my better judgement recently and start to chat to someone itch no verification or pic x

Arranged to meet twice and twice they disappeared x"

The minute somebody's profile was posted on the forums as a timewaster they would delete it and create a new one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am totally against naming and shaming.

Lots of folk with issues on fab sadly and just block and move on. I don't waste energies on people like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Meet was social . We booked hotel to save travelling after a already long day.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Admin have said name and shame won't be allowed. You can report for "Arranged meet, did not turn up" though from their profile and Admin will look into it

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