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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area

Hi

I have a no. Of messages that I have sent, introducing myself, that have been read, but not deleted. The messages are at least a week old.

Through checking my local updates and hotlist updates, 1 or 2 ladies/couples are looking for ideas/funs at the weekend, and they are local.

What do I do? Do I leave them alone, do I message them?

Cheers.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Have you messaged them already?

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area


"Have you messaged them already?"

Yes I have. They've read the message, but not deleted it, and now through their status update, i know they are looking for fun/ideas at the weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they haven't replied id take it as a no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they haven't replied it would suggest they're not interested

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Have you messaged them already?

Yes I have. They've read the message, but not deleted it, and now through their status update, i know they are looking for fun/ideas at the weekend."

In that case, they don't want to meet you. If they did they would have messaged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a deleted message or read and not responded to as not interested. I wouldn't message them again if it's been read.

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area


"Take a deleted message or read and not responded to as not interested. I wouldn't message them again if it's been read. "

That is exactly what I thought. Was just wondering if it was a case of, hmm interesting, I might come back to that message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They may still get back to you but if I'm interested in someone I'll message them back straight away.

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area


"They may still get back to you but if I'm interested in someone I'll message them back straight away.

"

Thanks. I'll leave it as it is.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

They might come back to you when they have more time. If you message again you risk them thinking bugger him. Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have nothing to lose x

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I can help you out here - all the women get together and talk about the messages they get, basically they've spoken about yours and they don't want you. Sorry.

You can sit in on the next meeting if you like, it's very entertaining

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

It might not be No, particularly with a couple.

I know for us, sometimes XY will read a message and this will show the message as being read, although XX hasn't got around to reading it yet (or vice versa). We to only reply when we are both together and have the time.

For us if we are not interested, we will delete pretty much straight away (if I open a message and it's not appealing, I'll delete without even asking the other half - we're not into 'persuading' each other into meets).

A wink rather than other message may be enough of a gentle nudge to remind them you're still interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It might not be No, particularly with a couple.

I know for us, sometimes XY will read a message and this will show the message as being read, although XX hasn't got around to reading it yet (or vice versa). We to only reply when we are both together and have the time.

For us if we are not interested, we will delete pretty much straight away (if I open a message and it's not appealing, I'll delete without even asking the other half - we're not into 'persuading' each other into meets).

A wink rather than other message may be enough of a gentle nudge to remind them you're still interested. "

i am the same as a single to be honest

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By *arry WindsorMan
over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester

Or try them again in about 6 months?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or try them again in about 6 months? "

ha ha less than that some do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only play together, so for instance if you sent us a message and one of read it first, we would ask the opionion of the other half first before making a decision.

Withe work and family life, we may not get back on line or even have an interest to look at messages agin that week or day, so the message may be read but not acted on.

Also they may just have not deleted that message you sent.

People who send us a message, then message us again in short succession, or before we have replied generally get ignored as we see them as appearing;

Pushy

Desperate

impatient

However that is only our view and may not be the correct view.

Give it time, if you don't get a reply consider them as not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had similar issues, and it's down to your outlook.

What I've learned is that ladies can get HUNDREDS of messages. If I see DELETED with no response, I know it's NO. Move on, no hard feelings.

If I see read, but not replied, I think, great they read it and maybe they will respond. One is enough. The ball is in their court. Move on, if they get back to me then happy days.

Sadly, the vast majority of my messages go unread.

I posted earlier in the week about courtesy, and while it's frustrating, accepting it is easier than worrying about it. It's hardly a major life issue is it? I now take the view that it will only take one find to make it worthwhile. I'm still looking.

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs


"Or try them again in about 6 months? "

Yeah, no problem with that. If you messaged say last week maybe that's OK. But be understanding that people have lives outside of fab.

It's when we read but save for later but within 2 mins there's a message asking if it's a 'yes or no', or 'I take it that's a no then' type messages that then get you ignored.

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area

I normally leave it, whether the message is deleted or not. But saw their update, and I just thought, is there any harm?

Well, as some said. I have sent a wink. Let's see what happens.

Thanks for the advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I normally leave it, whether the message is deleted or not. But saw their update, and I just thought, is there any harm?

Well, as some said. I have sent a wink. Let's see what happens.

Thanks for the advice."

Good luck xx

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

The way I looked at sent messages

read and deleted= no

read and not deleted= still a possible

read and answered= result

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