FabSwingers.com forum: Like a soiled sex toy..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this is a bit of a 'Woe is me' post, but buggrit. I know I'm pretty sensitive and naively optimistic about people's behaviour and motivations, but at least one week out of four this site's users leave me feeling like a soiled sex toy. I like to get to know people, I like regular and I'd like a genuine couple where the woman was actively interested in fem fem sex, but there's so much mind fuckery and game playing. Does the site ever get to you? And what do you do to pick yourself up when it does?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to take anything too personal and use the site for what it is to me! Obviously I'll have different uses and wishes out of the site but I try to take everything with a pinch of salt. Women have to put up with constant messages and harassment, and men have to deal with large scale rejection as a result of the majority of other users!

I've spoken to you and seen you on cam a few times and you seem like a lovely lady that knows what she wants and uses the site how you want to, don't forget that and take it with a pinch of salt and you won't feel too bad. You are gorgeous after all!

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Just sorry x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try not to take anything too personal and use the site for what it is to me! Obviously I'll have different uses and wishes out of the site but I try to take everything with a pinch of salt. Women have to put up with constant messages and harassment, and men have to deal with large scale rejection as a result of the majority of other users!

Aww thanks - but you're thinking of a different Tigerlily. I don't cam..

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

The vast majority of our meets have been very successful and enjoyable. But then again most of them didn't come from this site. So no the site doesn't get to us because we generally assume people are time wasters and fantasists until the point at which they are in a room with us and even then we usually insisit on the first meet being social or at a club.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i stop meeting.

it's definitely not personal to you, just how the world of promiscuous sex is for the majority of people.

and presume everyone is talking shit until they prove otherwise. i've been bullshitted so much, predators and their lies are par for the course when you're offering sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sorry x

Are you mixing me up with a different pissed off Tigerlily?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The vast majority of our meets have been very successful and enjoyable. But then again most of them didn't come from this site. So no the site doesn't get to us because we generally assume people are time wasters and fantasists until the point at which they are in a room with us and even then we usually insisit on the first meet being social or at a club. "

I always have social first. It must make it easier tho having a partner with whom you can share the drama and disappointment?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

it's definitely not personal to you, just how the world of promiscuous sex is for the majority of people."

And I guess that's what I need to hear right now.

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"Just sorry x

Are you mixing me up with a different pissed off Tigerlily?

No. Just sorry that people in here make you feel like you describe in your original post.

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"So this is a bit of a 'Woe is me' post, but buggrit. I know I'm pretty sensitive and naively optimistic about people's behaviour and motivations, but at least one week out of four this site's users leave me feeling like a soiled sex toy. I like to get to know people, I like regular and I'd like a genuine couple where the woman was actively interested in fem fem sex, but there's so much mind fuckery and game playing. Does the site ever get to you? And what do you do to pick yourself up when it does?"

We've met couples where the woman is just doing it for his pleasure and it's never enjoyable. Some guys are really horrible. We just end play gracefully, then block and move on.

Oh, move to Leek

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sorry x

Are you mixing me up with a different pissed off Tigerlily?

No. Just sorry that people in here make you feel like you describe in your original post. "

Thank you. That's kind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We've met couples where the woman is just doing it for his pleasure and it's never enjoyable. Some guys are really horrible. We just end play gracefully, then block and move on.

Oh, move to Leek

Haha! Thank you!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I always have social first. It must make it easier tho having a partner with whom you can share the drama and disappointment?"

Very true. Bad socials just turn out to be funny stories that we can tell on our good meets! There have only really been 2 though. Not bad for 4 years.

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By *aughtyangieCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

why are you so far away? I looked at your profile and pictures you look great and after reading this post it sounds like your the kind of swxy friend we are looking for with no joy may I add Mrs naughty is most definitely in to the fem fem fun we are drama free and if you ever get down south come say hi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You two look great! I do occasionally get down your way and I will if childfree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op i fully get where you are, i get guys that cannot get a women thinking i will just say yes to a fuck , no pics,lights out the lot.

i found filters work best and use the site but maybe take a break from meeting

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"op i fully get where you are, i get guys that cannot get a women thinking i will just say yes to a fuck , no pics,lights out the lot.

i found filters work best and use the site but maybe take a break from meeting"

Good Lord! Really!!

I've thought about breaking from meeting, but they all seem so sexy, until after the first or second meet when they suddenly aren't ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont we all feel like a sex toy from time to time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bizzare status?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you're going to enjoy casual sex you need to be tough. If you need to feel that your partners value you for more than the brief time you're with them you will feel used and badly done to. This may sound harsh but its true, this is no place for sensitive people. People lie, use and drop others because they can. Couples (most of them anyway) don't want you to be part of their relationship, they want you for the brief period you're with them. Once you understand that you can adjust your expectations accordingly.

If it's making you feel bad and it isn't compulsory stop doing it or change the way you interact with people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just blocked single men from emailing me = peace and funking quiet for at least the time it'll take to stop feeling obliged to talk to every single person who decides to get in touch...

In the three weeks I've been here I have net some wonderful, fun, interesting and very sexy people... I'm going to keep my circle small, get to know those peeps I've met and who I'm having fun daily banter with which will translate into memorable, stress free and mutually satifying sex (I hope and that's my plan lol).

Unfortunately in this day and age people/society holds you against the wall for having a sex drive... Some people seem to think that just because you are openly embracing your sexuality that gives them the right to treat you as a piece of meat... And they also hypocritically judge you for it?!...

I say ignore those peeps and carry in being your badass self, but find ways to minimise the detrimental nature of being socially and privately abused for the simple fact you have sexual needs and love sex!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're going to enjoy casual sex you need to be tough. If you need to feel that your partners value you for more than the brief time you're with them you will feel used and badly done to. This may sound harsh but its true, this is no place for sensitive people. People lie, use and drop others because they can. Couples (most of them anyway) don't want you to be part of their relationship, they want you for the brief period you're with them. Once you understand that you can adjust your expectations accordingly.

If it's making you feel bad and it isn't compulsory stop doing it or change the way you interact with people."

You may have something here. Not that I want a relationship or to interject myself into a couple, but yes, some of your points are on target.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I've only met the odd couple where the bloke seemed to be calling the shots and seemed to think a hurried 5mins is what it's all about (though the odd woman can lay there and do very little too). Socials don't count for much if they have little connection in bed but I totally understand where you are coming from. My best meets have been off the cuff, where cards have been laid on the table early, where you both bounce and where there is obviously a need to meet. I'd suspect if you reflect, the meets where you've levelled prior were a whole lot better than those who you just wanted to meet.

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By *osmosgirlWoman
over a year ago

Wetherby

I have felt like this too which I have put down to experience and learnt from. These days I follow and trust my instincts which helps me make much better choices for myself. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think this is why couples sometimes struggle attracting single women as they have had bad experiences in past. We might be different but for both of us it's about building a friendship as well so a social meet is paramount, chatting on here and looking at pictures is never the same as a quick meet up to see if there is a connection. How many people's pictures don't do them justice in real life, bloody know mine don't, I hate my picture taken (male)

. All about there been a connection for both of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It fascinates me how men on here seem to think the women are just here for their pleasure with no regard for our own.

And the amount that think we have revolving doors between our legs

As soon as I get that feeling from a guy I'm speaking to I stop replying.

Luckily I've only been made to feel how you describe by one guy ive met but i just deleted his number and moved on xx

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

You should be meeting upstanding pillars of the Fab community. I.e. ME!!

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By *andAukCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Reading your profile , anyone wanting to mess you about is crazy. Who wouldn't want a social friend who you can take to the bedroom for wild passionate fun. It shows how nuts folk can be.

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By *l4yerMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I have felt like this too which I have put down to experience and learnt from. These days I follow and trust my instincts which helps me make much better choices for myself. Xx"

You and the OP should meet. Knowing both of you, there is a lot of common ground. It's not everyday I play cupid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have felt like this too which I have put down to experience and learnt from. These days I follow and trust my instincts which helps me make much better choices for myself. Xx"

I think sometimes (several times), my instincts are dramatically overridden by my sex drive...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should be meeting upstanding pillars of the Fab community. I.e. ME!!

Haha! Just the small matter of you being outside my age range and 200 miles away. But thank you for your grace!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female here we love the social side and it may not be everyones cup if tea but we love making friends getting to know each other it just makes the sex better and more fun we not here for one offs and for either female OR male made to feel like they have to do anything this is why we always insist on a social meet to get the connection then and only if all in agreement the fun can begin xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like a free prostitute or sex toy sometimes. I,'ve had good meets but lately mostly bad meets. A lot of men either want to be provided with regular sex or want a female to fulfil their fantasies and pass around other men. I find if I meet a man they think I,m their FWB. I can't find anyone local sexually compatible for regular. I can see where you're coming from OP. XXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You and the OP should meet. Knowing both of you, there is a lot of common ground. It's not everyday I play cupid.

We have briefly D. We have very similar tastes in dominant men. Interestingly the dominant ones don't cause me grief, perhaps because they have the confidence to be straightforward.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel like a free prostitute or sex toy sometimes. I,'ve had good meets but lately mostly bad meets. A lot of men either want to be provided with regular sex or want a female to fulfil their fantasies and pass around other men. I find if I meet a man they think I,m their FWB. I can't find anyone local sexually compatible for regular. I can see where you're coming from OP. XXX

So are you looking more for regular with no other interaction? I'm interested that you DO want regular but DON'T want fwb. Where are the lines for you?

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By *l4yerMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

You and the OP should meet. Knowing both of you, there is a lot of common ground. It's not everyday I play cupid.

We have briefly D. We have very similar tastes in dominant men. Interestingly the dominant ones don't cause me grief, perhaps because they have the confidence to be straightforward."

York Social would be my guess.

Not that I take an interest in such things.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

To be fair the mind games etc .... never happen with us . We meet , We play , and that's it . So much easier for a couple I guess ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab often makes me hate people, in general, and at my lowest moments instils a terrible fear that it's a microcosm, and the world is actually just a much larger version of Fab. The phrase 'shoot me now!', springs to mind.

Logging off and rejoining the human race soon convinces me that it's all in my head and Fab is just an unfortunate arena for seeing the very worst side of humanity.

If it's dragging you down, hide your profile and take a break. It works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab often makes me hate people, in general, and at my lowest moments instils a terrible fear that it's a microcosm, and the world is actually just a much larger version of Fab. The phrase 'shoot me now!', springs to mind.

Logging off and rejoining the human race soon convinces me that it's all in my head and Fab is just an unfortunate arena for seeing the very worst side of humanity.

If it's dragging you down, hide your profile and take a break. It works for me."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So are you looking more for regular with no other interaction? I'm interested that you DO want regular but DON'T want fwb. Where are the lines for you?"

There has to be a connection and attraction for regular. I can only meet daytimes too and find most locals are working then or they can't host. XXX

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By *osmosgirlWoman
over a year ago

Wetherby

You and the OP should meet. Knowing both of you, there is a lot of common ground. It's not everyday I play cupid.

We have briefly D. We have very similar tastes in dominant men. Interestingly the dominant ones don't cause me grief, perhaps because they have the confidence to be straightforward."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

........,,,,,,,

Good luck in your exploration RB.

'My badass self'. I like that. It's the only person I know to be....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If it's dragging you down, hide your profile and take a break. It works for me."

Good advice, thanks. I have on occasions, but then the sex drive takes over....And it only gets me down 20-30% of the time, often a week after I've just renewed membership...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be fair the mind games etc .... never happen with us . We meet , We play , and that's it . So much easier for a couple I guess ?

I imagine a play partner helps you retain a sense of perspective and to see the funny side of the crap interactions. Plus fab is additional to your main sex life. For me and many other singles, it IS our sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sympathy with the 'Fab makes me feel bad' line as I think that feeling happens to any reasonable person who has been on this site any length of time. What really annoys me is when it turns into a single male bashing session. I have been in the company of a group of the male partners of couples where they described single men as no more than walking dildos. To be used and asked to leave. Some single women talk about connection but put single men on the shelf and pull them down as and no different to some men. Some also act like kids in a sweet shop, similar to some men. The assumption you see that every single man is desperate for a gangbang, really!

The reality is that it can be tough for single men, single women and couples. No-one has the monopoly of being the innocent party. Finger pointing points both ways.

So back to OP's original point, sorry to say, it's part of being on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I have sympathy with the 'Fab makes me feel bad' line as I think that feeling happens to any reasonable person who has been on this site any length of time. What really annoys me is when it turns into a single male bashing session. I have been in the company of a group of the male partners of couples where they described single men as no more than walking dildos. To be used and asked to leave. Some single women talk about connection but put single men on the shelf and pull them down as and no different to some men. Some also act like kids in a sweet shop, similar to some men. The assumption you see that every single man is desperate for a gangbang, really!

The reality is that it can be tough for single men, single women and couples. No-one has the monopoly of being the innocent party. Finger pointing points both ways.

So back to OP's original point, sorry to say, it's part of being on Fab."

Interesting and valid points and I hope you noticed the thread was remarkably clear of finger pointing and single men bashing. Thank you to everyone who posted. It's good to know that many others feel the same way about Fab at times, the ego boosts have been welcome, thank you, and there have been some really interesting points made which I'll reflect on.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

No meet, no matter who it is with should leave anyone feeling like a used sex toy

I reckon you've been unlucky maybe? We like to get to know people we play with so the play flows nicely, repeat meets are always good.

And as a couple although it's NSA fun , it's nice to have Fab friends and everyone should leave a meet with a big grin in my opinion

I reckon you have been meeting the wrong people

Bun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Logging off and rejoining the human race soon convinces me that it's all in my head and Fab is just an unfortunate arena for seeing the very worst side of humanity.

If it's dragging you down, hide your profile and take a break. It works for me."

Shoot me now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rejection on here can be crippling to anyone sensitive. Just find it annoying, especially when you read the profile and you tick all the boxes, yet they still wont even say hi when you send a message, they don't make any effort to get to know you. So many on here who are all talk and no action.

Rant over.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

[Removed by poster at 25/07/17 16:42:25]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No meet, no matter who it is with should leave anyone feeling like a used sex toy

I reckon you've been unlucky maybe? We like to get to know people we play with so the play flows nicely, repeat meets are always good.

And as a couple although it's NSA fun , it's nice to have Fab friends and everyone should leave a meet with a big grin in my opinion

I reckon you have been meeting the wrong people

Bun

It's not all the time, and Ive had many lovely meets, but occasionally it gets weird and hurtful after a first or second meet. Thinking with my pussy doesn't help..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The rejection on here can be crippling to anyone sensitive. Just find it annoying, especially when you read the profile and you tick all the boxes, yet they still wont even say hi when you send a message, they don't make any effort to get to know you. So many on here who are all talk and no action.

Rant over.

There, there...(strokes forehead, clasps to bosom..)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to read your post WHT. Would have PMd you but you've filtered out women. I hope in a couple of weeks you've got your bounce back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I felt sad reading your post but my own feeling is don't let or allow yourself to feel like a used sex toy.

I would insist on social meets first of course and actually build up a rapport and see if you actually like each other!

Even if it.means a few social meets with the same person . If someone is pushing you to have sex they are not worth taking it further. Also I would say to read their Verifications through as it can give a lot away about the persons. I tend to meet mainly for socials. I'm not going to get physical until I know this is a guy who really floats my boat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I felt sad reading your post but my own feeling is don't let or allow yourself to feel like a used sex toy.

I would insist on social meets first of course and actually build up a rapport and see if you actually like each other!

Thanks Tracey. I do all that. But people are charming and have their own agendas, and it seems on fab often use others to boost their egos with no concern for the other party, then get brutal once they've done the deed.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I felt sad reading your post but my own feeling is don't let or allow yourself to feel like a used sex toy.

I would insist on social meets first of course and actually build up a rapport and see if you actually like each other!

True but par for the course I'm afraid, you could consider polyamory if you are interested in something deeper?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

True but par for the course I'm afraid, you could consider polyamory if you are interested in something deeper? "

Interesting. I'll pm you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

True but par for the course I'm afraid, you could consider polyamory if you are interested in something deeper?

Interesting. I'll pm you."

Or I would...,but filters..

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"No meet, no matter who it is with should leave anyone feeling like a used sex toy

I reckon you've been unlucky maybe? We like to get to know people we play with so the play flows nicely, repeat meets are always good.

And as a couple although it's NSA fun , it's nice to have Fab friends and everyone should leave a meet with a big grin in my opinion

I reckon you have been meeting the wrong people

Bun

It's not all the time, and Ive had many lovely meets, but occasionally it gets weird and hurtful after a first or second meet. Thinking with my pussy doesn't help..

Sometimes I hotlist people when I have my pussy goggles on

then I realise they aren't a good match when I have a proper look later

Bun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sometimes I hotlist people when I have my pussy goggles on

then I realise they aren't a good match when I have a proper look later

Bun

'Pussy goggles' - love that term and will use it.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Sometimes I hotlist people when I have my pussy goggles on

then I realise they aren't a good match when I have a proper look later

Bun

'Pussy goggles' - love that term and will use it."

They go quite well with my gobble bobble

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