FabSwingers.com forum: Why can't I cum??

By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Maybe we blokes should form an orderly queue ... Or maybe try all at once

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I find it easiest to cum if someone uses their fingers.

Sally

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Take your toys on a meet and get them to use them on you, it's more fun than doing it yourself. Maybe have a drink or two (but don't get blitzed) beforehand to relax you a bit

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Yup, I just give up with myself

takes me months to cum even in a relationship. There have been a couple of notable exceptions which have gone on my meets wall of fame (if I had a downstairs toilet to display one in!)

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I find it easiest to cum if someone uses their fingers.

Sally "

When guys use their fingers, I just squirt and gush everywhere. That's not the same as an orgasm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

Have you shown them what you do to make yourself cum? Do you like to be watched? Is it about the clit? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty will claim to be able to now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it easiest to cum if someone uses their fingers.

Sally "

Same with me.. either he needs to or most likely I end up making myself cum. Not many have made me cum orally and I never cum through penetration..

So nerves do affect being able to orgasm in my opinion. You need to be totally relaxed and i find i cum easier when I have met the guy a few times.

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

If u use the toy alot or rub off alot you become desensitized..

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Relax (a small sherry or 2) and don't be afraid to give instruction. I don't know about other men but I wouldn't take offence.

Good luck.

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

Other thoughts, try dp or if u have extra person, have them hug you around tummy tight while other fucks u

Hope it gets easier for u whatever

, I'm similar :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

I'd give your clit a gentle massage first .using 2 fingers in a clockwise circular movement ....when you were excited and close slide my cock in you..

How about you play with your clit as a guys cocks in you ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try two men at the same time so you have a cock in your mouth and pussy at the same time ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure that my massages will relax you and make you cum, but you never know till you try...

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By *ordon88Man
over a year ago

town

I think you've not mentally connected with any of your meets. And you just wanted it to end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the guy are not doing it the right way that my thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hadn't climaxed with anyone for six years. I've climaxed during each of my last four meets. They were with two friends ( not together) who are particularly unhurried, with whom I have a strong sexual connection, who make me feel particularly relaxed and good toys came into play on a couple of occasions. I don't know if I will be able to climax regularly again, but it was really good to get there with someone else.

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

I don't cum with meets. But it's because I play safe and it's cum that makes me cum

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Try two men at the same time so you have a cock in your mouth and pussy at the same time ?"

Tried this.....several times. Didn't work.

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I think you've not mentally connected with any of your meets. And you just wanted it to end"

I tend to meet the same couple of guys for this reason. I feel we have connected sexually/mentally and they know my body. But even hubby struggles sometimes...

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Maybe the guy are not doing it the right way that my thought.

So many guys will say that they love going down on a woman and will do it for hours..I've yet to find one who lives up to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The so called experts normally say that for a woman to cum it is also about state of mind where as a man just requires the physical aspect.

I take it you are physically able to cum sometimes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it's probably In your mind. If you can cum using toys then it isn't impossible. May sound silly but have you tried viagra

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I have never been able to cum during sex"

I think you're looking at the problem the wrong way - sex doesn't end when the bloke withdraws his old chap and wipes it on the curtains.

If you don't cum through penetration, and lots of women don't, just enjoy other ways. It's all still part of "sex".

Tell him what works for you and start off with you showing him, then do it together. It's normal (whatever that means) or perhaps a better way to say is that it's far from unusual and we're all a little different unless you believe in porn films or romantic novels. Go with what's right for you.

That ends the serious post, back to your normally scheduled post - can everyone get in line behind me?

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By *iss InnocenceWoman
over a year ago

Coventry/Bristol

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

Am exactly the same can't remember the last time I cum.Its been many years now, I can squirt/gush but this Jst leaves me more frustrated,don't even cum wiv toys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you!! Only my hubby ever makes me cum. His perseverance and love make it happen but it takes me ages to build up to one 'decent' orgasm.

I get irritated when he tells me other meets cum and cum and he barely touches them and they cum!!

I guess we are just all different. I like to think my orgasms are epic because they are so rare!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

I'm the same, I think it's nerves and because often on a first time meet they haven't a clue how, that's why I prefer repeat meets so you can learn how each other ticks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry or think about orgasm, enjoy the journey....and focus on the feelings you're having, rather than pleasing the man all the time. Most men are pleased by your pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you enjoying the meets even if you are not cumming?

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

I would be similar.

I have to have a mind connection first and he has to be willing to put a bit of time and effort in to making me cum.

I wish I could cum like those women that just keep cumming every few mins from penetration.. sigh..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would be similar.

I have to have a mind connection first and he has to be willing to put a bit of time and effort in to making me cum.

I wish I could cum like those women that just keep cumming every few mins from penetration.. sigh.. "

I hear ya but it would be hard work cumming all the time and maybe having less orgasms mean they are stronger..

at least I would like to hope so

God I do love to orgasm but not as much fun alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mildred is the same she finds it hard to cum with penetration and almost always finishes herself of with toys which I love watching her.

You may want to try cowgirl that is the only position she can cum with penetration

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "
clitoral stimulation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can cum on your own and not with other people, chances are it's a mental block, maybe you're not comfortable with them.

If all else fails, try a piece of cake

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I guess I just need someone to take their time with me, plenty of massage and teasing, kissing and foreplay.

Rather than just a fuck object for their pleasure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men can never make me come but I can orgasm all by myself.

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

So when hubby makes you cum, how does he do it, lots of clit stimulation? Through fucking or oral? Like others have said, and even as a man true for me too, if I'm not relaxed I can find it difficult to cum. What sets me off is seeing a lady cum, to see that I've had that affect on someone gets me going every single time.

Do you cum every time you play alone?

Damn I'm up for the challenge ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about more of a build up beforehand, like reading naughty stories, listening to some erotic audios or watching some porn? Helps me to get in the mood and get everything happening in the right places!

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

"What about more of a build up beforehand, like reading naughty stories, listening to some erotic audios or watching some porn? Helps me to get in the mood and get everything happening in the right places! "

Great idea, something to take your mind off 'you' and 'them' but that also helps you get in the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way is to relax and don't try to cum just enjoy the moment with lots of foreplay and teaseing.

It's not the end of the world if you cannot cum with penetration as long as you enjoy the session and end it by masterbation. Most guys myself included love watching women touching themselves

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I've known 2 women like this. To be honest it's in your head rather than anything relating to the physical technique.

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By *juk72Man
over a year ago

Reading

Sounds like you may have unconscious expectations of the interaction that could be blocking you.

My suggestion would be to be for both of you to be as goalless as possible. The harder someone tries to make you cum the more your body withdraws from it.

Obviously I am now going to suggest a long slow, sensual massage with no goal and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arousal is key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with you!! Only my hubby ever makes me cum. His perseverance and love make it happen but it takes me ages to build up to one 'decent' orgasm.

I get irritated when he tells me other meets cum and cum and he barely touches them and they cum!!

I guess we are just all different. I like to think my orgasms are epic because they are so rare!! "

What a knob! How utterly tactless to say that to you.

If that was a meet I'd never meet him again. It's just putting pressure on you and 'shaming' you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you enjoying the meets even if you are not cumming?"

This. I never cum with meets but I still enjoy it. As long as it doesn't bother you OP then don't worry about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with you!! Only my hubby ever makes me cum. His perseverance and love make it happen but it takes me ages to build up to one 'decent' orgasm.

I get irritated when he tells me other meets cum and cum and he barely touches them and they cum!!

I guess we are just all different. I like to think my orgasms are epic because they are so rare!!

What a knob! How utterly tactless to say that to you.

If that was a meet I'd never meet him again. It's just putting pressure on you and 'shaming' you. "

Oh no not irritated at him!! Irritated that I can't come so easily... that it seems a big chore and effort for me when other ladies can cum quick & easy... I'm jealous I guess. My hubby is a patience lover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with you!! Only my hubby ever makes me cum. His perseverance and love make it happen but it takes me ages to build up to one 'decent' orgasm.

I get irritated when he tells me other meets cum and cum and he barely touches them and they cum!!

I guess we are just all different. I like to think my orgasms are epic because they are so rare!!

What a knob! How utterly tactless to say that to you.

If that was a meet I'd never meet him again. It's just putting pressure on you and 'shaming' you.

Fair enough, just seems tactless that's all. Apologies.

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By *ampshirehotwife OP Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Thanks k you all for your responses. It's great to know I'm not alone.

I do think it's a state of mind rather than physical.

Hubby makes me cum by oral sex and sometimes we use my toys. I'd just like to be able to cum on meets as I do get extremely turned on.

And, yes, I do enjoy my meets.... Very much!

It's just frustrating that I'm all turned on and really horny

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

No expert on ladies orgasms but it does seem to be psychological rather than physical.

Try relaxation therapy such as meditation or tap therapy to try and truly relax yourself.

Meditation before sex will free you of any anxiety you may have.

You obviously can orgasm as doing it by yourself seems to work, you need that same relaxed mindset for when you are with a partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it easiest to cum if someone uses their fingers.

Sally

When guys use their fingers, I just squirt and gush everywhere. That's not the same as an orgasm. "

Yes exactly! As nice as it feels it is nothing compared to a clitoral orgasm.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Personally for me, if ANY alcohol is involved, then it is NEVER going to happen! But that is just me.....

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By *ack2071Man
over a year ago

bromsgrove

I'd say you need to be in right frame of mind and be turned on enough so you can be relaxed but every lady is different lots of varilbes to consider if your stressed or been stressed that won't help either if your sole purpose is to cum without relaxing it just won't happen .

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

Absolutely. I have never cum through penetrative sex. I get incredibly turned on through manual stimulation and still love a good fuck but if I use my toys- guaranteed. I incorporate this into my play and everyone's happy.

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

"I find it easiest to cum if someone uses their fingers.

Sally

When guys use their fingers, I just squirt and gush everywhere. That's not the same as an orgasm.

Yes exactly! As nice as it feels it is nothing compared to a clitoral orgasm."

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

"After several meets, nobody has managed to make me cum. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not relaxed enough, maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on it....who knows?

I don't actually go into a meet thinking about it, to be honest, my emphasis is on making the man cum.

I have never been able to cum during sex, hubby thought it was to do with the size of his cock, but I've tried big ones and they didn't work!

Several have tried but failed. I always end up sorting myself out with my toys.

Poor guy recently, went down on me for about 45 mins, he gave up eventually!

Anyone else have the same problem? "

If you can make yourself to cum then a man can make you cum.

Basically he just has to do what your doing to yourself.

The hard part is creating the relaxed atmosphere where you feel comfortable so you relax and respond to what the guys doing.

Your NOT to blame and doing nothing wrong per see.

Good luck and wish you fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess I just need someone to take their time with me, plenty of massage and teasing, kissing and foreplay.

Rather than just a fuck object for their pleasure! "

That's what I was saying in my previous post. Contact me if you wish. You can't go wrong with a pro masseur

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