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"If you saw it coming then you wasted your own time " Not really. I didn't make any preparations or change any plans. I just played along to see if I was right, though I would have been happy to meet if they'd proven me wrong. An earlier, less cynical me would have got almost as excited as they were over meeting someone so keen. Perhaps someone will read this and save themselves from making the same mistake. | |||
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"I once wasted six months playing picture Kik message, before I called it quits. So no good asking me coz up,m a dumb ass xxx" It's difficult. I have one guy I met a couple of times a few years ago. He was a nice bloke and they were decent meets. But all he's done for the last 3 years or so is message about how much he'd like to meet me again. I've repeatedly offered him opportunities and he never takes me up on them. There's one of his messages in my inbox right now. It doesn't feel right to block him, but I can't see the point in replying. Face pic and phone numbers are good indicators, but I had both of those out of the latest one. Checking mail deletions in your sent folder can be a good tell tale too. If they read and immediately delete, it tends to be a bad sign. Though this doesn't prove anything either way. I'd love to know how to spot them. The trouble is that most are sincere about meeting when they're horny and online but either don't dare or can't be arsed on the day. It's finding that balance of filtering out most of the bad while retaining most of the good. You don't want to block too many genuines, but you don't want too many time wasters slipping through the net either. | |||
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"Just had another one go silent with less than 24 hours to go before meeting. I saw it coming because they rang my no.1 alarm bell: being way too keen leading up to the meet, and wanting to play constant private message and phone text ping pong, even though the plans were all sorted and we only really needed to confirm a few hours before. At least this one wasn't pretending that I was their girlfriend, and constantly phoning for sex chat without texting to confirm first. So what are your best time waster tells? I could do with tuning my radar a bit more accutely, so all tips are welcome." Apart from what you've already mentioned OP, i will be very suspicious when the person starts to: 1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear. 2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics | |||
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better. Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted. " We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. | |||
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better. Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted. We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. " That is a great idea. I agree. There should be some failsafe. So they end up wasting other people's time. | |||
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"1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear. 2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics " Good ones. If they ask me what I'm going to wear, I usually tell them I haven't decided yet... because I haven't. True, pic swaps rarely go anywhere positive on here. You think you're revving them up to meet, when in fact you're giving them all that they actually want, just with the pics. On other services (I'm probably not allowed to name here) I've had mixed results with pics. Some only allow you one profile pic and insist that it's non sexual, so it's reasonable to trade more intimate pics. Buy you still get your collectors on those sites too. Wanted to add: Kik messenger is another of my alarm bells. WhatsApp requires a phone number, as does texting, so I insist on one of those. "Name and shame" is problematic. It relies on the honesty of the person naming and shaming, which isn't always given. But I'm not above naming a user in my status or profile if they've really hacked me off. Decide for yourself who to believe. Like the guy who recently cancelled at 2 hours notice, using the excuse that he didn't like my attitude (my profile is somewhat stand-offish, but there was nothing untoward in my texts to him, and certainly nothing that could have changed his mind since his last positive reply.) Basically he'd lost his nerve or couldn't be arsed, but decided to try to spin it round to being my fault rather than his. I have a number of words for people like that, but it's best if I don't repeat them here. | |||
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better. Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted. We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. " That sounds a good idea but isn't. What if I am upset with somebody on here and ask freinds to leave a bad mark on their account? It would be very easy to abuse that leave a mark system you suggest. | |||
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"Just had another one go silent with less than 24 hours to go before meeting. I saw it coming because they rang my no.1 alarm bell: being way too keen leading up to the meet, and wanting to play constant private message and phone text ping pong, even though the plans were all sorted and we only really needed to confirm a few hours before. At least this one wasn't pretending that I was their girlfriend, and constantly phoning for sex chat without texting to confirm first. So what are your best time waster tells? I could do with tuning my radar a bit more accutely, so all tips are welcome. Apart from what you've already mentioned OP, i will be very suspicious when the person starts to: 1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear. 2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics " Another classic is the male half of a couple asking you to tell him what you would do to his wife sexually. You just know his wife (if he has one) has no idea he is on a swinging website. | |||
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"1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear. 2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics Good ones. If they ask me what I'm going to wear, I usually tell them I haven't decided yet... because I haven't. True, pic swaps rarely go anywhere positive on here. You think you're revving them up to meet, when in fact you're giving them all that they actually want, just with the pics. On other services (I'm probably not allowed to name here) I've had mixed results with pics. Some only allow you one profile pic and insist that it's non sexual, so it's reasonable to trade more intimate pics. Buy you still get your collectors on those sites too. Wanted to add: Kik messenger is another of my alarm bells. WhatsApp requires a phone number, as does texting, so I insist on one of those. "Name and shame" is problematic. It relies on the honesty of the person naming and shaming, which isn't always given. But I'm not above naming a user in my status or profile if they've really hacked me off. Decide for yourself who to believe. Like the guy who recently cancelled at 2 hours notice, using the excuse that he didn't like my attitude (my profile is somewhat stand-offish, but there was nothing untoward in my texts to him, and certainly nothing that could have changed his mind since his last positive reply.) Basically he'd lost his nerve or couldn't be arsed, but decided to try to spin it round to being my fault rather than his. I have a number of words for people like that, but it's best if I don't repeat them here." We don't mind kik, but the amount of people that ask us to go on there after 2 messages is astounding. That's when it sets our alarm off. After a while of chatting isn't so bad. | |||
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"I had a "single women's profile randomly fire a friend request last night, ignored it out of principle. A few hours later i got a message saying she wanted to meet. Obviously a fake." I wonder if it's a 'bot' though. | |||
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"The first woman I got chatting too on here.She seemed lovely and we chatted a lot over two days and spoke about everything from the weather to sex.We had so much in common so we both agreed to meeting up just for a coffee in a public place. I got so nervous and got all dressed up to make a good first impression and I was just left sat there like a idiot.She wouldn't reply to my texts but like a fool I just sat there for nearly a hour incase she was held up. I came home and messaged her on here and got a reply instantly saying the police had pulled her over for speeding and she was in a police cell. WHAT? I didn't think you could get put in a police cell for speeding and do they let you take your phone in there aswell now? And how come my text messages where egnored but I get a instant reply on here? When I asked her this she blocked me with no reply and blocked my phone number to her phone. I will never understand why people do that as it does hurt and make you feel like a fool but I won't let that one person taint my views on everyone x " That's terrible. Nowadays I always tell my potential meet to contact me (text) 2-3 hours before the meet. If they didn't do that, I wont bother getting ready and do my own things. | |||
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"The first woman I got chatting too on here.She seemed lovely and we chatted a lot over two days and spoke about everything from the weather to sex.We had so much in common so we both agreed to meeting up just for a coffee in a public place. I got so nervous and got all dressed up to make a good first impression and I was just left sat there like a idiot.She wouldn't reply to my texts but like a fool I just sat there for nearly a hour incase she was held up. I came home and messaged her on here and got a reply instantly saying the police had pulled her over for speeding and she was in a police cell. WHAT? I didn't think you could get put in a police cell for speeding and do they let you take your phone in there aswell now? And how come my text messages where egnored but I get a instant reply on here? When I asked her this she blocked me with no reply and blocked my phone number to her phone. I will never understand why people do that as it does hurt and make you feel like a fool but I won't let that one person taint my views on everyone x That's terrible. Nowadays I always tell my potential meet to contact me (text) 2-3 hours before the meet. If they didn't do that, I wont bother getting ready and do my own things. " In one way I should of seen the signs when she said no voice calls as her husband is unaware she's on here. The other thing was she said she knew the cafe by my house as she went there with her sister years ago. So she would do all the traveling as she was 30miles away.Thays the only reason I wanted for so long as I would of felt bad if she was genuinely held up. When you look back afterwards it all seems a bit too convenient but I still don't get why they do that? x | |||
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"Had a mature lady wanting £50 PayPal payment so not to waste her time and she would give me back once we met ,great scam but who falls for that ." Yes i have had that a couple of times recently: emerging trend | |||
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"Had a mature lady wanting £50 PayPal payment so not to waste her time and she would give me back once we met ,great scam but who falls for that . Yes i have had that a couple of times recently: emerging trend" lol anyone got £50 I can borrow | |||
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better. Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted. We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. That is a great idea. I agree. There should be some failsafe. So they end up wasting other people's time. " In my mind, it's kind of like a karma score. It won't keep any comments or scores about the person, but from a backend perspective could be used to quickly identify users who have negative scores and highlight them for review. The site managers can easily check a few logs for patterns and delete as appropriate. | |||
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better. Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted. We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. " It already exists. You can report them to Admin for no show. | |||
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"Just this minute had another "couple" message us asking us to add them on kik on message 2. The coincidence is laughable! " Eeek! Didn't know people took this as a sign of being fake. Im writing this as the female half of a couple who will regularly ask to move the chat to Kik after the second or third message. It's just so much easier to get 3 or 4 of us in a chat together to discuss preferences and rules etc. Bit worried that people think it's bad to ask so soon. | |||
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"we arranged a meet with a fantastic looking "BBC" guy 2 weeks ago. Great comms. Alarm bell was day of meet, he messaged several times at 430am to say how keen he was, then nothing. Didn't turn up, yet posting a meet that evening. Fortunately now UNLOS" Unfortunately, probably back on the site under a different user name, and able to message you (if you blocked his old account) and do the whole thing all over again... unless you twig that it's him. Oh, new term: BBPC. That's when their pics show an erection the length and girth of a wine bottle, but when you get to meet them, it's absolutely nothing to write home about. (P = Photoshopped, in case it isn't obvious.) | |||
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" For couples - not being willing to have a phone chat, share pics both way. For single women - not being willing to have a phone chat For single men - not being willing to meet at a club. " I won't meet you in a club but I'm not a time waster. When I agree to meet I always do. | |||
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"We spoke to the guy 7 days before arrived at the hotel spoke again and he said he was on his way just never turned up and later said he had to wait in for a repair man lol... we've had several but fortunately always got someone last minute from the who's near app on the phone.... " Very silly boy you're smoking | |||
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"Well my time waster du jour was last online 15 minutes ago, viewed my profile 3 hours and 23 hours ago, and still hasn't messaged or texted. Block button time, I think." Block and next. For my money, you're very straight down the line and people like us can have an unrealistic expectation that others behave the same. You're also big hearted and because of that very understanding, but on the flip side that means you don't always demand to be treated with the respect you deserve. To answer the main question though, I think it's less about individual tells and more about patterns of behaviour, so if a couple of things don't sit right, give them enough rope to hang themselves and see what they do with it. Big squishy hugs headed your way. XxX | |||
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"We now expaect a skype chat before anything now....need to see they are who they say they are" hope you both were going townhouse tonight. Apologies i know wrong thread | |||
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"Just this minute had another "couple" message us asking us to add them on kik on message 2. The coincidence is laughable! Eeek! Didn't know people took this as a sign of being fake. Im writing this as the female half of a couple who will regularly ask to move the chat to Kik after the second or third message. It's just so much easier to get 3 or 4 of us in a chat together to discuss preferences and rules etc. Bit worried that people think it's bad to ask so soon. " To be fair it's normally following a message that says they're horny, or they don't have pictures to show on here (it takes 2 minutes to upload pictures) We always prefer to make sure people are real before we move to kik. No offence intended, if that works for you carry on | |||
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"Gosh, ive been so lucky..touch wood (so to speak),ive only had one let down and it came as no surprise because she warned she might change her mind (she had good reasons)...i guess its much worse for fems or couples as most guilty are guys..given men have more profiles, its not too surprising" I think it's very different meeting women (real women, rather than men hiding behind women's and couples' profiles.) They tend to see the people they talk to as people with feelings, rather than objects to wank about. They don't have the male sex drive that gets itself revved up to the point where it would fuck the gap between the sofa cushions, and then disappears completely at the moment of orgasm, leaving them embarrassed and ashamed about whatever they've just done. | |||
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