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Is Swinging addictive?

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By *orksCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep you hit nail on head but for some its because they dont want to share or be shared anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and the wife started out swinging a few years back, in fact it was her suggestion! Had a couple of meets, she also met a few on her own, but it suddenly came to a stop. Like you say, she lost interest but I was hooked! Hence the single profile!

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By *hitedoveWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

I don't think, if only some people get addicted, that it would have to be one of the couple who is and one who isn't. There are complex reasons behind addictions and most people see them as a negative thing .... do they here too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging ruins vanilla life forever

The whole dynamic of couples really interests me too though, I'm really tempted to see if I can make a dissertation question out of it for my degree

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc ."

Excellent post! I cringe at the number of people who give the PC answer you quoted. Most humans are not monoganous by nature so the idea that most people, who already had a taste of ethical non-monogamy, could give it up strikes me as unlikely.

I wouldn't give it up. I wouldn't force my wife to continue with me but I'd do it alone. I'm not monogamous, never have been and my wife knew this before we married and made an informed choice.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Swinging ruins vanilla life forever

The whole dynamic of couples really interests me too though, I'm really tempted to see if I can make a dissertation question out of it for my degree"

Doesn't it just! Try betting over a grand on a sports event one week and then watching the same sport next week with no money at stake - i guarantee you'll be bored shitless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc ."
my names NRG and I'm a sexoholic

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By *hitedoveWoman
over a year ago

Croydon


"Swinging ruins vanilla life forever

The whole dynamic of couples really interests me too though, I'm really tempted to see if I can make a dissertation question out of it for my degree"

I don't think swinging messes up vanilla. I think after a few years some singles and couples find the swinging life too facile and vanilla deeper and more intimate. They are totally different things and can co exist. Couples who are in sinc go in phases, surely

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Which of you is looking to go solo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which of you is looking to go solo?"
him

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Swinging ruins vanilla life forever

The whole dynamic of couples really interests me too though, I'm really tempted to see if I can make a dissertation question out of it for my degree

I don't think swinging messes up vanilla. I think after a few years some singles and couples find the swinging life too facile and vanilla deeper and more intimate. They are totally different things and can co exist. Couples who are in sinc go in phases, surely"

Some might, most don't.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc .my names NRG and I'm a sexoholic "

All: "Hi NRG, thanks for sharing"

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

When not in a relationship I have only ever swung solo so couldn't comment, but I have met couples that have been playing together for 15 - 20 years.

I'd think the difference is in the people. They either recognise they are in a good relationship in the first place. They are secure and comfortable and respect each other or they were really a bf or gf where ultimately they would have come to a natural conclusion one way or another anyway.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

As a single guy on here for me it works like this. If you have a good meet you are left wanting another. If you get let down or stood up you crave the next good one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very addictive... but as a couple you have to be careful, because it's so addictive you spend hours & days constantly on a website talking to strangers tryjng to arrange meets etc, before you know it you realise you haven't spoken to your partner for days... as a couple you have to make sure you take regular breaks and do things for just the two of you as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forum is very addictive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the addiction op. If one partner is obsessed with chasing an increasingly evasive buzz (as many drug addicts do), whilst the other has merely realised it isn't doing anything for them, the latter will be getting their life together and moving on whilst the former spirals into a cycle of dissatisfaction and obsession about how to find satisfaction... this is the brutal reality of most addictions, including sex addiction.

In such an instance they really do both need to take a break. They may never go back to monogamy. But their swinging days may be over.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I don't think swinging is addictive at all.

It's fun but we don't swing often. I actually find that I get bored of it, if we go out to swinging clubs too often.

Then again we have a great sex life together.

Though some people are also more prone to addiction than others.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TBH I actually think I need help ...

Before swinging I loved sex with Chucky. Now I need more hence my status too ...

I'm constantly thinking I want to go into the chat rooms, walking down the street constantly thinking about sex and cheating.

Also always suggesting to have meets or go to the club...

It has affected me and our relationship...

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By *orksCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners! "

Yes it's limiting but a real swinger wouldn't have any interest in a marriage with a vanilla person. The majority of the population are non-monogamous by nature but social conditioning makes them think they should be monogamous. If you're willing to have difficult conversations while dating and can accept the odd glass of wine being thrown over you then eventually you can find a great partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some even meeting new people it all become the same old thing . Some just have that special thing with the other half and so it stops . Sex is not everything for a lot its a small part that makes up there life.

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By *orksCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"For some even meeting new people it all become the same old thing . Some just have that special thing with the other half and so it stops . Sex is not everything for a lot its a small part that makes up there life."

We agree that for some couples just stopping when one person wants to stop can be done but that would suggest neither of them are addicted to it in the first place. Swinging addiction probably come under the umbrella of Sex addiction and is just a variant of it that doesn't get discussed in the media at all as very few people would go public with the condition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinging ruins vanilla life forever

The whole dynamic of couples really interests me too though, I'm really tempted to see if I can make a dissertation question out of it for my degree"

I totally disagree with that....I could quite easily never have a 3sum again and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest

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By *herryontop69Couple
over a year ago

ipswich


"It's very addictive... but as a couple you have to be careful, because it's so addictive you spend hours & days constantly on a website talking to strangers tryjng to arrange meets etc, before you know it you realise you haven't spoken to your partner for days... as a couple you have to make sure you take regular breaks and do things for just the two of you as well "

We're new to swinging and loving it. what you have said sounds like really good advice thankyou xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you swing as a couple, then it is a mutual decision to start and a mutual decision to stop - even if one person wants to continue.

As for regular breaks - it depends how often you swing. If swinging is replacing your own intimacy then I'd agree with that. If, like us, you swing so infrequently it still remains a real treat for you both, then a break isn't really necessary.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

As long as both people are aware of what each other is doing what's the harm? Isn't that the point of swinging?

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By *herryontop69Couple
over a year ago

ipswich


"As long as both people are aware of what each other is doing what's the harm? Isn't that the point of swinging?"

we're new to it only had a couple of meets but thats kinda our thinking at the moment.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners!

Yes it's limiting but a real swinger wouldn't have any interest in a marriage with a vanilla person. The majority of the population are non-monogamous by nature but social conditioning makes them think they should be monogamous. If you're willing to have difficult conversations while dating and can accept the odd glass of wine being thrown over you then eventually you can find a great partner. "

Don't agree with that at all.

If you are talking about an actual addiction then yes one partner would need to seek councilling to try and help them resolve that addiction. Like any other addiction that someone can't resolve themselves.

When you put meeting strangers for sex over an established marriage/family you either didn't have a strong enough partnership when you started swinging or you have a serious addiction problem.

We love it. We dip in and out as the mood strikes. Fucking for fun is something we both love to share. However our marriage and welfare of our family comes first. If our swinging effected that in a negative way we would both stop without a second thought. Thats not a pc answer, its just the way it is for solid couples in the swinging world that play together rather than seperately. Of course if a couple happily agree to play separately that's their business and good for them, nothing wrong with that.

We just don't see swinging as an alternative to cheating.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners!

Yes it's limiting but a real swinger wouldn't have any interest in a marriage with a vanilla person. The majority of the population are non-monogamous by nature but social conditioning makes them think they should be monogamous. If you're willing to have difficult conversations while dating and can accept the odd glass of wine being thrown over you then eventually you can find a great partner.

Don't agree with that at all.

If you are talking about an actual addiction then yes one partner would need to seek councilling to try and help them resolve that addiction. Like any other addiction that someone can't resolve themselves.

When you put meeting strangers for sex over an established marriage/family you either didn't have a strong enough partnership when you started swinging or you have a serious addiction problem.

We love it. We dip in and out as the mood strikes. Fucking for fun is something we both love to share. However our marriage and welfare of our family comes first. If our swinging effected that in a negative way we would both stop without a second thought. Thats not a pc answer, its just the way it is for solid couples in the swinging world that play together rather than seperately. Of course if a couple happily agree to play separately that's their business and good for them, nothing wrong with that.

We just don't see swinging as an alternative to cheating."

If your nature is not monoganous then living monogamously is unfulfilling. It's nothing to do with who you are with or how good the marriage is. Nobody has to act upon their nature but resisting it causes internal friction that is unpleasant.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners!

Yes it's limiting but a real swinger wouldn't have any interest in a marriage with a vanilla person. The majority of the population are non-monogamous by nature but social conditioning makes them think they should be monogamous. If you're willing to have difficult conversations while dating and can accept the odd glass of wine being thrown over you then eventually you can find a great partner.

Don't agree with that at all.

If you are talking about an actual addiction then yes one partner would need to seek councilling to try and help them resolve that addiction. Like any other addiction that someone can't resolve themselves.

When you put meeting strangers for sex over an established marriage/family you either didn't have a strong enough partnership when you started swinging or you have a serious addiction problem.

We love it. We dip in and out as the mood strikes. Fucking for fun is something we both love to share. However our marriage and welfare of our family comes first. If our swinging effected that in a negative way we would both stop without a second thought. Thats not a pc answer, its just the way it is for solid couples in the swinging world that play together rather than seperately. Of course if a couple happily agree to play separately that's their business and good for them, nothing wrong with that.

We just don't see swinging as an alternative to cheating.

If your nature is not monoganous then living monogamously is unfulfilling. It's nothing to do with who you are with or how good the marriage is. Nobody has to act upon their nature but resisting it causes internal friction that is unpleasant. "

True if you choose someone that has openly admitted they never intend to be monogamous then you have nowhere else to turn should you change your mind at some point in the future and they continue to fuck others.

Assuming they told you they would before a relationship was formed and marriage taken place.

That person would still have to put more value in sex with strangers than their marriage to do that though. Happy or not.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Looking up what addiction means in a clinical sense , a specialist would say an addiction is only a disorder when it interferes with normal functioning or causes harm . Using those criteria Swinging can easily fit the bill if one half of a couple can't give it up when the other wants to. Also how would a single person addicted to Swinging form a future relationship ,get married to ,have kids with etc with a non Swinger . Talk about limiting your choice of future life partners!

Yes it's limiting but a real swinger wouldn't have any interest in a marriage with a vanilla person. The majority of the population are non-monogamous by nature but social conditioning makes them think they should be monogamous. If you're willing to have difficult conversations while dating and can accept the odd glass of wine being thrown over you then eventually you can find a great partner.

Don't agree with that at all.

If you are talking about an actual addiction then yes one partner would need to seek councilling to try and help them resolve that addiction. Like any other addiction that someone can't resolve themselves.

When you put meeting strangers for sex over an established marriage/family you either didn't have a strong enough partnership when you started swinging or you have a serious addiction problem.

We love it. We dip in and out as the mood strikes. Fucking for fun is something we both love to share. However our marriage and welfare of our family comes first. If our swinging effected that in a negative way we would both stop without a second thought. Thats not a pc answer, its just the way it is for solid couples in the swinging world that play together rather than seperately. Of course if a couple happily agree to play separately that's their business and good for them, nothing wrong with that.

We just don't see swinging as an alternative to cheating.

If your nature is not monoganous then living monogamously is unfulfilling. It's nothing to do with who you are with or how good the marriage is. Nobody has to act upon their nature but resisting it causes internal friction that is unpleasant.

True if you choose someone that has openly admitted they never intend to be monogamous then you have nowhere else to turn should you change your mind at some point in the future and they continue to fuck others.

Assuming they told you they would before a relationship was formed and marriage taken place.

That person would still have to put more value in sex with strangers than their marriage to do that though. Happy or not."

Marriage is a legally binding contract. I told my (now) wife that i didn't believe in monogamy before we even started dating. I wouldn't have married her if she wanted to be monogamous. She enjoys swinging but it's not as important to her as it is to me.

Likewise she told me she wanted children before we got married. If i changed my mind later and decided i didn't want children then she would rightly feel betrayed. I'd like to have kids but it's not as important to me as it is to her. My life wouldn't be misearable without kids.

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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago

cheshire


"We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc ."
i love watching my wife with other guy. Im addicted to it. When we not doing it i fantasise about it. I watch videos. And emagine its her in them bieng with other guy. We have bieng going to clubs and had meets for three years. I want it more the the wife. Im more into it. And take alot more interest in Cuckhold / hotwifing. Whatever ya want to call it. But if she ever wanted to stop doing this. It would put a very big strain on our marrage. And maybe question wether we are compatable anymore. I think its something i would not give up N i would never do anything behind her back. End of the day. Ya got one life. So live it. Do whatever makes you happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We think it's very addictive and a problem can arise when one person of a couple gets addicted but the other one doesn't , and then wants to give it up. We have discussed this with quite a few couples we have met , and the usual (politically correct) answer we get is 'if he/she wants to stop that's no problem we will just stop'.

We think a better option is for the addict to go solo 'with permission' otherwise he/she will sooner rather than later be going online to feed that addiction behind their partners back , after all that's what addicts do with other things like alcohol ,drugs, food etc .my names NRG and I'm a sexoholic

All: "Hi NRG, thanks for sharing""
youre welcome do you want to share to x

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By *orksCouple25 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

It could be argued swinging with your partner or separately is the 'normal state' and a monogamous marriage is just a modern creation of religion . If a couple get married at 25 and have sex twice a week on average for 25 years then when they are 50 and at their sexual peak they have had sex with each other about 2500 times . No one can tell me the 2501st time is going to be fresh and exciting .There is a limit to how much sex can be 'spiced up ' when it's with the same partner !

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"It could be argued swinging with your partner or separately is the 'normal state' and a monogamous marriage is just a modern creation of religion . If a couple get married at 25 and have sex twice a week on average for 25 years then when they are 50 and at their sexual peak they have had sex with each other about 2500 times . No one can tell me the 2501st time is going to be fresh and exciting .There is a limit to how much sex can be 'spiced up ' when it's with the same partner ! "

Agree about the 2,501st time but people on here will try to argue that point. But it just disintegrates into semantic arguements.

But it wasn't really religion that enforced monogamy. Religion just rubber stamped what was a practical solution to the very real problem of uncertainty over fatherhood. That uncertainty is the most common cause of civil war in history.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging addictive No food is and I got over that ... Fags are I got over that .. Drinking is I got over that ... MIND OVER BODY .......... ITS addictive if you let it be ............. and I am stronger then that.

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