Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' " Definitely! Great idea | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Think half the single guys on here are married and play fantasy or can't get away from the Mrs. ..like other people have said we only now meet at clubs we do post which club and when we are attending so single guys can notify us and we can all look out for each other...but if no mutual attraction at a club chances both could meet someone else there so not a wasted evening " Agree with this... It's a fantasy for a lot of people (not just single men can I add). Some members on fab love the thought of swinging, will chat, exchange pictures.. And even arrange a date and time... Then when it comes to it they bottle it and go back to square one of their fantasy. Rinse and repeat. I've had the same with women and couples so although I appreciate your frustration, can we not turn this into "it's a single men thing". | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, are you saying that you've arranged a meet and then they pull out last minute; or that you want a meet but cannot arrange anyone suitable to meet you at the time you desire?" Hi it's said Mrs here. Meets arranged and guy's pull out. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OP, are you saying that you've arranged a meet and then they pull out last minute; or that you want a meet but cannot arrange anyone suitable to meet you at the time you desire? Hi it's said Mrs here. Meets arranged and guy's pull out. " That is frustrating for you. You get jaded, cynical plus having to sift through the hundreds of messages in your inbox - no wonder genuine and reliable guys don't get noticed | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd say there are probably as many reasons for not turning up as there are time wasters. By the end of the day it all boils down to choose carefully and wisely. " So true | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sadly its the internet so people can hife behind their screens. I think you can generally tell the people who will meet,if they go dtraight for dirty talk or ask for pics,they are not realistically gonna meet. There are men,women and couples who are like this sadly . Miss" Agree that the internet makes you more anonymous, people are not taking enough personal responsibility for their actions | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The single biggest problem is that Fab is free or cheap compared to some of the other swinger websites. That in itself filters out some of the time wasters and dreamers. Some people have nothing better to do than sit at home perving and dreaming and certainly get a kick out of pic collecting and "speaking" to real people even though they have no actual intention to meet. Also many of the "single guys" tend to be married men who can't/won't meet anyway! It is just another flavour of porn for them!" Agreed... A credit or debit card verification system would be ideal but I know that it's not what the majority of members want, even genuine seasoned ones... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The single biggest problem is that Fab is free or cheap compared to some of the other swinger websites. That in itself filters out some of the time wasters and dreamers. Some people have nothing better to do than sit at home perving and dreaming and certainly get a kick out of pic collecting and "speaking" to real people even though they have no actual intention to meet. Also many of the "single guys" tend to be married men who can't/won't meet anyway! It is just another flavour of porn for them! Agreed... A credit or debit card verification system would be ideal but I know that it's not what the majority of members want, even genuine seasoned ones... " A credit or debit verification would only confirm a members identify, they could still be married, attached and waste people's time XXX | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The single biggest problem is that Fab is free or cheap compared to some of the other swinger websites. That in itself filters out some of the time wasters and dreamers. Some people have nothing better to do than sit at home perving and dreaming and certainly get a kick out of pic collecting and "speaking" to real people even though they have no actual intention to meet. Also many of the "single guys" tend to be married men who can't/won't meet anyway! It is just another flavour of porn for them! Agreed... A credit or debit card verification system would be ideal but I know that it's not what the majority of members want, even genuine seasoned ones... A credit or debit verification would only confirm a members identify, they could still be married, attached and waste people's time XXX" Yes true but what I meant was that it would reduce the amount of fake profiles... Highlighting your point around it being free etc.. Fakers think twice before inputing stuff from their reality as its easier to be caught.. So yes, not a solution but definitely would help the cause. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. " God you're stunning I wouldn't waste your time!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' " Depends on your definition of a time waster. A lot of people take it to mean the sort of person who chats loads, seems keen then disappears as soon as you look to arrange to meet. It wouldn't help that. Plus what concessions do you make for genuine last minute cancellations? Or would it only be for people who don't turn up without cancelling? And what's to stop it being abused if they do meet and it doesn't go well, or one cancels but the other marks them as a no show out of spite? You can already report no shows and I presume admin take action if a pattern emerges. But with either system you could just delete the profile and start over. And no, I don't think charging makes a difference. We were on a pricey site and our experience was much worse there. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We booked a hotel to meet a regular friend during the day, had a great time and then found ourselves at a loose end on the Saturday evening. Spent the whole early evening arranging meets with some single guys and everyone turned out to be a timewaster....... We had every excuse under the sun when it actually came to confirming a time or they would go off-line after exchanging upteen messages.... We stick to our circle of "friends" and ignore all the rest these days. It is sad it has got to this, as we would like to meet more people when our normal lives permit. " Ditto, we have had similar experience of this. A few times Infact. Guy's constantly asking for meets. So we have booked a hotel room for the night and as you say spent literally most of the evening trying to find someone who would actually meet. We realise that we can't expect guy's to jump when we ask that would just be arrogant. Also we understand that people have lives away from here. What we are referring to are the guy's who have said on many occasions free to meet anytime. When you say ok let's meet. Q the excuses. Or say yeah I'm free I'll be there in an hour, an hour later. Ohhhhhhhh another 20mins.... 4hrs later they say on their way. Naaa it's ok mate we are going to bed now. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Pick ugly fat men they are grateful and turn up " i've had loads of hot guys turn up, no need to pick anything less than that. OP, i think a lot of guys just aren't who they proclaim to be in the pics but still want some kind of sexual interaction and to feel sexually attractive. i think some enjoy being devious and get a thrill out of pissing people about. and i think some just like to fantasize and can't meet at all or have no intention of doing. there are loads of guys willing to turn up if they don't have to make any effort. the more effort or time you invest in someone the less likely they are to meet i reckon, after all if they're happy enough to stay online and chat they aren't that arsed about actually fucking anyone. nothing wrong with that either, just the misleading people into thinking they want to meet isn't right. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Personally I don't think the filters/criteria for signing up are strict enough. (Maybe require card details etc?) It scares me that someone who isn't the required age could easily set up a profile here for the purposes of Previn/getting kicks etc. Obviously they won't actually meet.... could some of these "time wasters" fit into this category?" I also think there should be stricter signing up criteria but alot of men are married and not able to share their card details in case the missus looks at the bank statement and questions it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have arranged several meets this year, but only two actually happened. I've been on this site for over 6 years, and am a vocal supporter of single men (I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them) but I am finally nearing my limit of just how flaky they are. I have never forgotten, slept through, or chickened out of a meet, and I am struggling to understand why the men who I gave every chance to meet me, short of actually dragging them there, are OK with letting me down. I can only surmise that its me, and so its not worth me bothering to arrange meets any more." It is definetly not you - I cannot speak for those that let you down but we are not all like that. Short of setting up a naming and shaming thread I'm not sure how you can let people know who the time wasters are. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"that's because this site is full of dreamers and timewasters... the only people you can rely on as being real and genuine are those you have met already, the rest are a bunch of HPWs sat at home having a wank at your profile...why would they want to leave the comfort of their armchair for a foray into the real world " That is probably the closest (not closet) to the truth - Mrs. J - | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. " Were they verified ? Please don't count by webcam that's a waste of time. If males have good verifications it shows they meet and have fun, not 100% but a step in the right direction. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' " I've long since advocated such a booking system. It needn't be compulsory but would add a lot of credibility to those that had used it to set up meets. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' I've long since advocated such a booking system. It needn't be compulsory but would add a lot of credibility to those that had used it to set up meets." A great idea... So it doesn't name and shame but does show how often you turn up.. And is a mandatory field on your profile. Some people would not want to display how many meets so it could be converted into a percentage instead. "this person has shown up to x% of meets they've mutual arranged" or something like that. However it can still be abused... For example, you do turn up but the meet doesn't go well for whatever reason. So the other party marks you as a no show out of spite... But a step in the right direction maybe. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' " Isn't that the purpose of "Verifications"? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' Isn't that the purpose of "Verifications"?" No... A verification can only be one way technically and the veri does not have to reciprocated. plus you can choose to not show it if you want so if someone leaves a bad veri (not that they should) you can ignore it. It also covers a broad spectrum of meets, even webcam. A veri is a also post event, so it confirms at some point you saw this this person. By having a two way 'agreement', you are saying that you are agreeing to meet and fully intent to. What this could potentially do is create an system in that it shows realiabilty. So if you showed up for 9 out of 10 meets you would have a 90% score.. Most people would pretty much trust that. A time waster would think twice before agreeing to a meet as it would reduce their score drastically. Also, by seeing someone with a really low score you'd have a good idea that they're probably not worth the effort. Obviously there may need to be other formulas in place. For example if you couldn't show for your first meet, then you'd be 0% and screwed forever... So maybe the score only shows after 5 meet request etc... Or something along those lines. Prior to this you'd have a "ranking not available yet". I see this system in the online gaming world... It gives you an idea of bad players vs good players without any bad mouthing. Like I said before, not foolproof but would help the site considerably. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We've only had the odd let down, 1 couple & 1 single female, from memory, it's a rarity for us as we hope we know the signs of timewasters, however single guys seem to get a bad rap on this subject we don't think they are any worse or better than anyone else, is it because both single females & couples when arranging meets with single men believe they've picked the guy, the guy should be grateful and they have a sense of entitlement? " You are right; there can be a lot of entitlement there. As a single man, I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I have been approached with a condescending and stinking attitude like I was a leper and should be grateful. The truth is I do very well in the real world so why would that work with me on Fab? I say a lot of women and couples should show the same amount of respect they would expect when interacting with single men. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"is it because both single females & couples when arranging meets with single men believe they've picked the guy, the guy should be grateful and they have a sense of entitlement? " No, its because I believe that when a meet is arranged, a person has the decency to turn up, or if not then cancel in plenty of time. If I arranged any other appointment, be it a plumber or a doctor, its considered polite to cancel in good time if the appointment can't be met. Why do the people I arrange to meet think my time is any less important? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"is it because both single females & couples when arranging meets with single men believe they've picked the guy, the guy should be grateful and they have a sense of entitlement? No, its because I believe that when a meet is arranged, a person has the decency to turn up, or if not then cancel in plenty of time. If I arranged any other appointment, be it a plumber or a doctor, its considered polite to cancel in good time if the appointment can't be met. Why do the people I arrange to meet think my time is any less important?" Spot on | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The point we were making is thus.... We agree people not turning up is bad manners and inexcusable, however most of the threads about this subject seem to point at single men to be the main timewasters and we feel this is not true and every faction of Fab is guilty of this, guys get picked on because many women & couples have a sense of "the guy should be grateful..." attitude" Well said | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. " we have had same experience , one time we tried to message the guy after he cancelled only to find he had already blocked us | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think some people just like to know that they can get meet, must make them feel good" Yes the fantasy can also be more appealing than the reality. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. God you're stunning I wouldn't waste your time!!" Thank you | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Its not just Men that are time wasters a few ladies areI had 3 meets that didn't truturn up and when I got back home I had been blocked ." Possibly men? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should have a meet request that can be sent between 2 profiles that can be officially accepted. That way it can be confirmed if people turned up or not. If that information could be summarised and displayed I think it would out a lot of the time wasters.' " This needs to happen !! Then prolific time wasters could be identified | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It doesnt even have to be public The agreementcan be private but relected with simply a tick or cross if they then turned up A profile with many crosses is an unreliable profile" This could work but even if it isnt public but is only seen by admin, they can block a profile for a week month etc depending on how often they bail | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It doesnt even have to be public The agreementcan be private but relected with simply a tick or cross if they then turned up A profile with many crosses is an unreliable profile" Awful suggestion, would be open to abuse, now here is an idea, take responsibility for yourselves as adults, the odd no show is inevitable but if it happens regularly take a look at yourselves, what are you doing wrong? Blimey this site gives you ALL the tools to arrange genuine meets, bringing in a system where someone can mark a show or no show is open to abuse, admin wise a nightmare, what about disputes? Just take responsibility for yourselves! Ever seen us moaning about no shows? Why? Because we've never had any as we use the tools and our own intellect to rid ourselves from chatting to timewasters, unreliable people & dreamers..... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It doesnt even have to be public The agreementcan be private but relected with simply a tick or cross if they then turned up A profile with many crosses is an unreliable profile Awful suggestion, would be open to abuse, now here is an idea, take responsibility for yourselves as adults, the odd no show is inevitable but if it happens regularly take a look at yourselves, what are you doing wrong? Blimey this site gives you ALL the tools to arrange genuine meets, bringing in a system where someone can mark a show or no show is open to abuse, admin wise a nightmare, what about disputes? Just take responsibility for yourselves! Ever seen us moaning about no shows? Why? Because we've never had any as we use the tools and our own intellect to rid ourselves from chatting to timewasters, unreliable people & dreamers....." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know I know, timewasters... Mrs has single profile and is hounded daily by guy's wanting meets as are probably every woman on here. Yet when they actually get a chance it's always one excuse or another. We have been swinging long enough to realise that there are lots of fantasists and timewasters. Something that is near on impossible to get rid of. But I just can't get my head round what's actually in it for them? Our time is very precious and free time is limited. So when she plan's a meet and goes to alot of effort to get ready for said meet, to get let down Again. A tad peeved off. So my question is this,I am not going to ask why it happens and how to stop it but. To those that are on here and plan meets or pretend that you are single etc.. What exactly do you get out of it and do you realise the hassle you cause? Is it a game to you? Please explain why you do it, in private if you want. " Been chatting to what I thought was a half decent man for a few weeks, arranged a meet for this morning then late last night I message to check he's still meeting in morning and he cancels! 3rd person I've arranged meets with in past 4 weeks and not 1 of them has actually gone through with the meet!!! All were men, all have veries and been on site a while.... how can we tell whose genuine?? It's so frustrating and has really put me off meeting men Rant over xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It doesnt even have to be public The agreementcan be private but relected with simply a tick or cross if they then turned up A profile with many crosses is an unreliable profile Awful suggestion, would be open to abuse, now here is an idea, take responsibility for yourselves as adults, the odd no show is inevitable but if it happens regularly take a look at yourselves, what are you doing wrong? Blimey this site gives you ALL the tools to arrange genuine meets, bringing in a system where someone can mark a show or no show is open to abuse, admin wise a nightmare, what about disputes? Just take responsibility for yourselves! Ever seen us moaning about no shows? Why? Because we've never had any as we use the tools and our own intellect to rid ourselves from chatting to timewasters, unreliable people & dreamers....." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |