This is a fairly contentious issue, and there isn't a simple answer.
From the perspective of couples who are experienced they tend to know their own rules and limits fairly well and are comfortable with each other and more experienced couples who don't mind splitting up at a venue have no problem doing this.
However, on the clubbing scene, there are a great many couples who want to go to a couples night, because they want to play with other couples who stay and play together, for people fairly new to the scene, who are nervously visiting a club for the first time, the site of men wandering around on their own, (Even if their partner is elsewhere on the premises) can give the impression that single men are on the premises on a night when they should not be. At some clubs this really is a major issue, at others its not a problem at all.
For some couples, they aren't going to be bothered about it, but this comes up alot in conversation in our clubbing circle and a huge percentage of the couples will NOT go to a venue, where this happens with any frequency.
This also brings up the issue of 'ticketing' which essentially means that people come to a venue whom are not actually real couples and essentially diverge from the moment they arrive, the female effectively acting as a ticket for the guy to get in, sometimes this isn't done so as a deliberate act (As in the unfortunate case mentioned above) but it can turn out that way, however many people do, do this very deliberatly. At Rios on a Saturday night it happens every week.
I don't mean to imply that fuck buddies, who aren't in a relationship shouldn't go to a club together for fun, but that is a world of difference away from people who actually don't even hang around together at all once they arrive, let alone have sex. At some venues, this happens all the times, and its seems to be tolerated but incredibly off putting for many.
Another example of this would have been at our first visit to Liberty Elite, we had not long been at the club when two couples arrived, something about them didn't feel right from the word go. We could tell they were new, certainly first timers to that club and the two guys looked like a pair of builders. In any event, we went to the jacuzzi and were in their with four other couples, when suddenly one of these guys got in on his own, which made everyone there very uncomfortable, (they said as much after the incident) fortunately Colin, one of the managers at that time appeared out of nowhere (as if in a puff of smoke) and asked this guy to leave the jacuzzi and come out and have a word) He was advised, that if he wanted to go round the club and use the facilities then his partner would have to go with him. Maybe its the romantic in us, but people didn't really want a guy on his own banging one off next to them in the Jacuzzi on a couples night. Basically the two men had left the two women in the bar, and gone around pestering people all over the club, and there were a ton of complaints almost immediately. They were all asked to leave. The same thing happened at a couples only night at club lick in London, when two guys arrived with their girlfriends in tow, whom clearly hadnt been told what the venue was about, they went round talking to alot of people while their lady friends sat petrified in the corner. We actually went over to them and asked them if they were okay, and explained to them it was a very chilled out place, and they actually said, they thought the people were really nice there but they were pissed at their boyfriends for not explaining properly to them what kind of venue it was, meanwhile they (the boyfriends) were pestering people all over the place, this was followed by a huge domestic row, all of which I overheard ('Girls - we want to leave, Guys - fuck off we're here to have fun) and I warned the manager this was coming so he knew to look out for it, and they were escorted from the clubs.
These are two different examples of where problems can occur but where the clubs both acted immediately and dealt with the situation well. These are also examples of people who probably weren't fully active on the scene, or whose partners were not as keen as them to explore it.
At a different venue altogether, which I wont mention here, it was a different story altogether. In the upstairs area of the venue, only couples are suppose to go there, now this is on a couples only night anyways, but in addition to that, the venue rule is, that partners should not be upstairs unaccompanied. To us this makes perfect sense, again you do not want to give the appearance of single men wondering around unaccompanied (Or I guess single women, though lets face people are less likely on balance to complain) unfortunately the venue concerned does not police this policy in any way shape or form during the times we have been there. Consequently there are always people wandering around on their own, and on several ocasions at this venue, this was commented on, again, especially by newcomers and first timers, who were clearly not expecting to see that. The couples that were seperated from each other here, were regulars mainly, but again because new couples didn't expect to see single men wandering around upstairs (As the clubs rules stated) it put them off the club.
Most experienced couples who do play apart, are probably wise enough and polite enough to follow etiquette if they are looking around on their own and not make a nuisance of themselves. But the problems mainly arise from the less experienced people on the scene who do it, who then seem to think they are on some sort of free for all on a couples only night, or at the venues where their own rules are properly policed. And while we don't expect to see Draconian measures in place, just staff on premises being aware, observant, and making discreet checks, is all you need.
Failure to do this often to leads to another problem, which is singles congregating outside play areas who end up having conversations about everything from the weather to football, very loudly with no consideration for the people try to play in highly charged sexual atmosphere, but thats another topic entirely.
While it is up to couples themselves to sort their own rules out as to what's comfortable for them, people should keep in the mind that a large percentage of couples who go to a venue on a couples only night, only wanted to play with other couples on an equal level, frequently in whats knows as 'Same room fun' now this is not true of everyone, but it is certainly a significant number. The reason we went back to Liberties so frequently after our first visit there (It was our first club as a couple at that time) was because we found it seemed to attract couples who tended to do that, we very rarely saw anyone wandering off on their own, they did go wandering off with others partners, sure, but not prowling round looking as an apparent single away from their partner.
When we got more confident later on, we did go to clubs on mixed nights, and had no issue with it, at the clubs that ran well balanced mixed venues. BUT, if we had gone, all those years ago, for our first nerve wracking experience to a club on a couples only night, and found it full of people constantly splitting up and people wandering around on their own, as first timers, we may well have found this very off putting, got a tunnel visioned impression of not just the club, but the scene in general, thought all clubs were the same and never gone back. Fortunately it was not the case and we subsequently went to be far more active later on in our own time.
We think clubs and swingers themselves, definately have an inherent responsability to make new couples to the scene, who are nervous and inexperienced, (and who come on a couples only night for exactly that reason), to make them feel as comfortable as possible. After all, we all want me sexy people to embrace the lifestyle, and remember we were all new to the scene once. And some people are alot less confident than others.
Re the comment about clubs being scruffy, minging and unhygenic, that wouldn't be an unfair description of a few people's homes we've been to either. And while some clubs are exactly that, some of them are the cleanest places we have ever seen and certainly cannot attribute those words to their enviroment. So have to say, that's an unfair generalisation even if it can certainly be true about certain venues. |
sarah xx
)
When we fancy playing together we again ask if the other fancies it and off we trot .
Communication ,communication communication 
He did not expect anything in return,which is perhaps one of the reasons he is rarely "a sad single fella"
t seems to me that you thught going with a woman meant you did not have to do anything...the magic door to the couples room wud open and u wud be in the middle of hot group sex.What wud u have done if u got int the couples room and no one wanted to play with u? Or as happened to us recently a woman only wanted to play with other women?
Why were u billy no mates?Was the entire club in the couples room or in the private room? Was it impossible to strike up a conversation with anyone else there?
women outnumbered the men much to Mr's delight 
We learnt this a few weeks ago when a single bloke got agresive and wouldnt take no for an answer
