FabSwingers.com forum: Downer after a meet :-(

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This may be long so bear with me

I had a meet this weekend, it was great and I had one of THE best meets since being in here but I find myself on a bit of a downer now.

My meet is quite dominant, I knew this before hand and I was prepared to push my boundaries. We'd talked about it and he knows that I want to explore the Dom/Sub side.

He went very easy on me considering what he usually does but I did enjoy it and I stopped him when it was too much.

Is this normal to feel like this?

I feel like I need a good bubble bath to relax in & then to be cuddled to sleep tonight (I'm on my own so not going to happen though)

Is there anything I can do for myself?

Thanks in advance, only helpful replies please xx

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By *oxy180511Man
over a year ago

Basildon in essex

Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rule number one never get attached.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached."

Get attached??? To what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached.

Get attached??? To what?"

You know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X"

I don't know if it's the feeling of letting him down but I feel now, that I could have done more last night.

I have heard of Sub drop but I don't think we did enough for that to kick in.

But it's all new to me, well that side of it is anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached.

Get attached??? To what?

You know.

No I don't, hence why I'm asking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This may be long so bear with me

I had a meet this weekend, it was great and I had one of THE best meets since being in here but I find myself on a bit of a downer now.

My meet is quite dominant, I knew this before hand and I was prepared to push my boundaries. We'd talked about it and he knows that I want to explore the Dom/Sub side.

He went very easy on me considering what he usually does but I did enjoy it and I stopped him when it was too much.

Is this normal to feel like this?

I feel like I need a good bubble bath to relax in & then to be cuddled to sleep tonight (I'm on my own so not going to happen though)

Is there anything I can do for myself?

Thanks in advance, only helpful replies please xx "

I'd suggest sending "SexyBrunette" a message. She went through something similar recently so she might be able to help you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached.

Get attached??? To what?

You know.

No I don't, hence why I'm asking! "

So will this be a regular thing have you made plans to meet again.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X

I don't know if it's the feeling of letting him down but I feel now, that I could have done more last night.

I have heard of Sub drop but I don't think we did enough for that to kick in.

But it's all new to me, well that side of it is anyway "

Sounds like it to me. Even a hint of ds between us and i can drop. Did you do aftercare... ? And have a bath.. enjoy some chocolate and chill

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This may be long so bear with me

I had a meet this weekend, it was great and I had one of THE best meets since being in here but I find myself on a bit of a downer now.

My meet is quite dominant, I knew this before hand and I was prepared to push my boundaries. We'd talked about it and he knows that I want to explore the Dom/Sub side.

He went very easy on me considering what he usually does but I did enjoy it and I stopped him when it was too much.

Is this normal to feel like this?

I feel like I need a good bubble bath to relax in & then to be cuddled to sleep tonight (I'm on my own so not going to happen though)

Is there anything I can do for myself?

Thanks in advance, only helpful replies please xx

I'd suggest sending "SexyBrunette" a message. She went through something similar recently so she might be able to help you out

Really? She wouldn't mind a random messaging her?

I'll try & see thanks x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached.

Get attached??? To what?

You know.

No I don't, hence why I'm asking!

So will this be a regular thing have you made plans to meet again.?"

I'd hope so as I said I want to explore more of my sub side

No chance of getting attached to the man in question if that's where you're going.

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

"This may be long so bear with me

I had a meet this weekend, it was great and I had one of THE best meets since being in here but I find myself on a bit of a downer now.

My meet is quite dominant, I knew this before hand and I was prepared to push my boundaries. We'd talked about it and he knows that I want to explore the Dom/Sub side.

He went very easy on me considering what he usually does but I did enjoy it and I stopped him when it was too much.

Is this normal to feel like this?

I feel like I need a good bubble bath to relax in & then to be cuddled to sleep tonight (I'm on my own so not going to happen though)

Is there anything I can do for myself?

Thanks in advance, only helpful replies please xx "

Does sound like sub drop. You need to be nurtured after the event.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X

I don't know if it's the feeling of letting him down but I feel now, that I could have done more last night.

I have heard of Sub drop but I don't think we did enough for that to kick in.

But it's all new to me, well that side of it is anyway

Sounds like it to me. Even a hint of ds between us and i can drop. Did you do aftercare... ? And have a bath.. enjoy some chocolate and chill"

I've had some mini eggs

He hugged me a lot afterwards and was very caring. Can't fault him on that at all!

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By *edsguyMan
over a year ago

south of Bedford

I'll make u feel better xxx

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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rare i've had downers like that but i have had them. it's rare to find the good sex you actually want on here so that's why.

think it's a combo of you don't want that to end (it's natural to come down after a high) and then the reality of having to look for mediocre fucks again until you can see them again.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I am not submissive in anyway but I can drop a few hours after a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This may be long so bear with me

I had a meet this weekend, it was great and I had one of THE best meets since being in here but I find myself on a bit of a downer now.

My meet is quite dominant, I knew this before hand and I was prepared to push my boundaries. We'd talked about it and he knows that I want to explore the Dom/Sub side.

He went very easy on me considering what he usually does but I did enjoy it and I stopped him when it was too much.

Is this normal to feel like this?

I feel like I need a good bubble bath to relax in & then to be cuddled to sleep tonight (I'm on my own so not going to happen though)

Is there anything I can do for myself?

Thanks in advance, only helpful replies please xx

I'd suggest sending "SexyBrunette" a message. She went through something similar recently so she might be able to help you out

Really? She wouldn't mind a random messaging her?

I'll try & see thanks x"

No I wouldn't mind lovely, I suffer from sub drop dramatically, I can't message you though xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll make u feel better xxx"

Dafty!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"rare i've had downers like that but i have had them. it's rare to find the good sex you actually want on here so that's why.

think it's a combo of you don't want that to end (it's natural to come down after a high) and then the reality of having to look for mediocre fucks again until you can see them again."

That made me chuckle but you're right!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"rare i've had downers like that but i have had them. it's rare to find the good sex you actually want on here so that's why.

think it's a combo of you don't want that to end (it's natural to come down after a high) and then the reality of having to look for mediocre fucks again until you can see them again.

That made me chuckle but you're right!

so long as you're smiling.

i was being honest, it's also why i don't really meet now. most meets can't compare to the good meets i've had, i don't even wanna look for the mediocre sex any more.

and i just go with the flow on the downers because guys don't wanna get all emotional and shit. got my girlie friends to cheer me up also, they care and listen to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"rare i've had downers like that but i have had them. it's rare to find the good sex you actually want on here so that's why.

think it's a combo of you don't want that to end (it's natural to come down after a high) and then the reality of having to look for mediocre fucks again until you can see them again.

That made me chuckle but you're right!

so long as you're smiling.

i was being honest, it's also why i don't really meet now. most meets can't compare to the good meets i've had, i don't even wanna look for the mediocre sex any more.

and i just go with the flow on the downers because guys don't wanna get all emotional and shit. got my girlie friends to cheer me up also, they care and listen to me."

Again, you're right. Others don't compare & I'm already craving a next meet!

My Fab life is very secret from my girls so I only have here to confide really!

But thanks for your replies X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aftercare maybe.. I really don't see how someone can do D/s one offs. It seems that this may be the case here, but I don't have all the facts. I would recommend finding a Dom for ongoing.. that's how you will truly learn and how you will be guided and grow.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"rare i've had downers like that but i have had them. it's rare to find the good sex you actually want on here so that's why.

think it's a combo of you don't want that to end (it's natural to come down after a high) and then the reality of having to look for mediocre fucks again until you can see them again.

That made me chuckle but you're right!

so long as you're smiling.

i was being honest, it's also why i don't really meet now. most meets can't compare to the good meets i've had, i don't even wanna look for the mediocre sex any more.

and i just go with the flow on the downers because guys don't wanna get all emotional and shit. got my girlie friends to cheer me up also, they care and listen to me.

Again, you're right. Others don't compare & I'm already craving a next meet!

My Fab life is very secret from my girls so I only have here to confide really!

But thanks for your replies X "

you're welcome.

i never expect my emotional needs to be fulfilled by any man, kinda sad really that i've got into that habit. maybe i'll find one or two that will surprise me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X

I don't know if it's the feeling of letting him down but I feel now, that I could have done more last night.

I have heard of Sub drop but I don't think we did enough for that to kick in.

But it's all new to me, well that side of it is anyway "

I can get sub drop (or feeling kind of sad) after just sex. I didn't know it existed til I read about it on here and that helped me feel normal and not guilty about feeling crap if that makes sense.

Look after yourself. Eat chocolate or have a bath. It will pass.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aftercare maybe.. I really don't see how someone can do D/s one offs. It seems that this may be the case here, but I don't have all the facts. I would recommend finding a Dom for ongoing.. that's how you will truly learn and how you will be guided and grow. "

Not a one off!

First real session for me hence why I'm asking for advice X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dom man myself . . Do you feel you let him down?. Sure he left smilng nothing like having a new sub to guide and mould . X

I don't know if it's the feeling of letting him down but I feel now, that I could have done more last night.

I have heard of Sub drop but I don't think we did enough for that to kick in.

But it's all new to me, well that side of it is anyway

I can get sub drop (or feeling kind of sad) after just sex. I didn't know it existed til I read about it on here and that helped me feel normal and not guilty about feeling crap if that makes sense.

Look after yourself. Eat chocolate or have a bath. It will pass.

Have consumed the mini eggs, now to bed!

Thanks sweet X

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Any Dom/me who knows what they are doing should prepare you and support you for and with sub drop. You may think what he did to you was nothing hard but for you it was.

Has he contacted you since the meet?

Be reassured, your mood will improve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule number one never get attached."
I've learnt this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/06/17 23:55:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think iv experienced a dom lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel you sister. Be strong!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any Dom/me who knows what they are doing should prepare you and support you for and with sub drop. You may think what he did to you was nothing hard but for you it was.

Has he contacted you since the meet?

Be reassured, your mood will improve."

Oh yes, we had a very nice breakfast & lazy morning & have msg during the day.

Can't say anything negative about him at all, I just need to know what I can do to help myself really X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any Dom/me who knows what they are doing should prepare you and support you for and with sub drop. You may think what he did to you was nothing hard but for you it was.

Has he contacted you since the meet?

Be reassured, your mood will improve."

Why say the dom should know about sub drop?

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Sub drop can come from an intense or light session and everything in between. You're allowing yourself to be vulnerable and returning to reality can be emotionally confusing.

If he's a caring knowledgeable Dom, he should be fully aware of this and check in and support you. Even this isn't possible, get cozy, warm and treat yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any dom worth his salt should put aftercare into play to avoid that feeling. A d/s thing is a very psychological thing too as well as physical, and aftercare should be as important.. even if it's just holding, stroking or being looked after. Hope you're ok x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replies!

I've had a nice hot bath & just about to hit the hay!

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow

Goodnight you lovely lot

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Any Dom/me who knows what they are doing should prepare you and support you for and with sub drop. You may think what he did to you was nothing hard but for you it was.

Has he contacted you since the meet?

Be reassured, your mood will improve.

Why say the dom should know about sub drop? "

Because it's one of the basics! It common knowledge and one that's important to know.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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don't think anyone needs to know about sub drop tbh.

if you genuinely care about someone then you would make sure they aren't feeling like shit after you met them anyway and if you don't care then stop asking them to do stuff that's emotionally draining. go pay a pro instead.

plus she said he gave her after care also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (mr) met a girl once and we were really into each other, but she was massively into the DS relationship with her being a sub. It's not something I'd ever thought about, but I liked her an awful lot, so did a lot of reading up on being a Dom.

What I researched totally blew my mind, particularly about how much of a responsible role being a Dom is!

I knew I didn't have the personality or ability to do the role pure justice, I even considered topping from the bottom, but from what I could understand, that was a pretty pathetic way to be a Dom, and as she was so into the role, I just knew that wouldn't be adequate for her or do the role justice.

So, rambling aside,

I think so many people really don't truly understand the role, and how much of a responsibility that role carries, towards their sub/subs, and as such, does the fact you have a downer mean the Dom hasn't completed his role good enough? Or is it something you face despite the doms best efforts, and a sub just has to accept it as a natural side effect (for want of better wording).

Forgive my ignorance on the subject, but whilst I know I couldn't do the role justice, it really does intrigue me.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I'm not particularly into d/s but I get a comedown after a good meet, I think a lot of people do and it's only natural. I crave carbohydrates sometimes - always treat myself to a pain au chocolat after lol! I find it helps enormously to stay in touch, replay the highlights together or make plans for the next meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always go on a downer after a good meet for some reason xx Chin up girl x

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

I've recently experienced this after quite a few meets (with the same person) in quick succession. I thought I was loosing it but now I can rationalise it.

It wasnt a D/s scenario but I'm sure he is naturally going to go into that role.

So I'm still trying to fill the void left (he's gone away with work and won't be back for months.)

Hope you're feeling better OP!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I'm not particularly into d/s but I get a comedown after a good meet, I think a lot of people do and it's only natural. I crave carbohydrates sometimes - always treat myself to a pain au chocolat after lol! I find it helps enormously to stay in touch, replay the highlights together or make plans for the next meet.

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not submissive in any way, but I have suffered a drop after a fantastic meet.. Usually lasts anything from several hours but no longer than 24 hrs!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Feeling much more with it today!

I had a nice deep sleep which obviously helped a lot!

Thanks again for all the help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels down after an exciting build up and meet. Thanks for making me feel 'normal'.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

Sounds like Sub drop, I guess the issue is with swinging with a D/s eliment is he isn't likely to be around or want to give after care

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

You need to create a safe place to go to with drop.

Suggest you talk to subs, that is where the wisdom is...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really relieved to read this. After every meet I feel really down, it's the reason I've hidden my profile and taken a break from meeting randoms. I didn't realise it wasn't just me though, I thought I was the only one so not cut out for nsa sex!!! Nice to know it's more "normal" than I thought though!!! Thanks OP for this

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I'm not submissive, but I can suffer from a drop in mood after meets too. It used to be more common but now it only happens rarely. Sometimes depending on when the meet has finished (3am club finish) it can happen the morning after a meet, or if I'm very busy that day the drop might happen the day after!

It is reassuring to know that it is normal for other people too.

Bun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad my post has been helpful for others too!

We have a lovely community here when we need advice don't we!

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