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Reluctant partners

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We all know couples get all the messages on here but is it common that one partner is the cheerleader and feels like they're dragging the other along for the ride? I can honestly say that both of us have had some of the best fun of our lives meeting on here but when my partner decides 'Im past 40 and not looking my best any more' I just have to grin and bear it till they get the naughty bug again. This thread isnt about looks, we all know that's all in the head. It's more about letting yourself have fun you deserve.

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By *punky-guyMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

Definetly know where your coming from.

It has all come to a grinding halt for us as Mrs isn't into it. Yet we used to have such amazing fun.

I think the risk of getting found out by the kids and the making up excuses of what we were doing just wore her down. There may be other contributory reasons too. I guess I should feel some comfort that she gets her sexual kicks from just being with me rather than others but you can't beat the dynamics which are possible when others are involved. I just wish she would let get of the hangups and not let this chapter of our lives end completeley. We're not getting any younger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes us also when we wear younger she was rampant and up for meets as often as possible but when we got over 40 once every now and again but as she would take her time picking the right ones they wear always good and all night, been two months this time lol

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We started swinging after we were 40, and love it. For me it's a great ego boost to find that men (and plenty of women) of all ages are still attracted to me. I certainly don't need persuading to go out to a swingers club and neither does my partner. He enjoys it just as much as I do.

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By *cutebum9Couple
over a year ago

wallsend

We are both into this as much as each other but sick of messages from male half of a couple . When you sujest female half joining us we get every excuse under the sun . It's a joke

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We all know couples get all the messages on here but is it common that one partner is the cheerleader and feels like they're dragging the other along for the ride? I can honestly say that both of us have had some of the best fun of our lives meeting on here but when my partner decides 'Im past 40 and not looking my best any more' I just have to grin and bear it till they get the naughty bug again. This thread isnt about looks, we all know that's all in the head. It's more about letting yourself have fun you deserve."

Depends on your relationship and your expectations of each other. Personally i wouldn't be giving this up if my wife lost interest, which thankfully has never come close to happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes...."

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes. "

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've witnessed some very worrying dynamics in clubs where I've felt one partner is really obviously not into it but going through the motions to keep partner happy. This has ranged from guys obviously distraught at their wives being fucked by other men to women 'taking one for the team' to allow husband to have his fun elsewhere.

If it doesn't work for both of you, surely you shouldn't be there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We witnessed a massive blow up in a club once where one partner had clearly set boundaries and it got very messy when the other half overstepped them. I tried to calm the upset half of the couple down and it was pretty clear they hadn't really been that up for it.

Sometimes it comes over loud and clear in messages too. We avoid if we suspect one is only in it for the benefit of the other, never likely to end well.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person."

I've always been clear that i don't want a monogamous marriage. If my wife suddenly decided she did want a monogamous husband then yes she would be with the wrong person. But she doesn't, so she isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've witnessed some very worrying dynamics in clubs where I've felt one partner is really obviously not into it but going through the motions to keep partner happy. This has ranged from guys obviously distraught at their wives being fucked by other men to women 'taking one for the team' to allow husband to have his fun elsewhere.

If it doesn't work for both of you, surely you shouldn't be there? "

I've been in meets where this has happened. I usually call a halt and ask I'd she wants to continue. I'd want to be with people who are engaged and actively playing, not just going through the motions to please her partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person.

I've always been clear that i don't want a monogamous marriage. If my wife suddenly decided she did want a monogamous husband then yes she would be with the wrong person. But she doesn't, so she isn't. "

Then it seems I misread your original post as implying that you didn't give a damn what your partner's wishes might be, if so, my bad.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person.

I've always been clear that i don't want a monogamous marriage. If my wife suddenly decided she did want a monogamous husband then yes she would be with the wrong person. But she doesn't, so she isn't.

Then it seems I misread your original post as implying that you didn't give a damn what your partner's wishes might be, if so, my bad."

I was saying that if my wife stopped enjoying swinging then i would be doing it without her. I wouldn't drag her along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As this is a tiny extension of our live, if one of us wanted to stop then we both would. This is something that we discussed in the very beginning and something that we both agree on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I wouldn't want to be the person that the reluctant one was having sex with. It's massively insulting for either of the other people to put someone in that position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked with a guy who had a massive fall out with his mate, nearly fisty cuffs in the pub, he was dragging his Mrs to parties and clubs and she hated it. He got really crappy with her and belittled her so she went along with it for a few years. They are no longer a couple and kids have split up parents.

That's when its wrong!

I always wondered how my mate and his Mrs found out, they were a bit older than me, but she was gorgeous! Anyway I have digressed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all know couples get all the messages on here but is it common that one partner is the cheerleader and feels like they're dragging the other along for the ride? I can honestly say that both of us have had some of the best fun of our lives meeting on here but when my partner decides 'Im past 40 and not looking my best any more' I just have to grin and bear it till they get the naughty bug again. This thread isnt about looks, we all know that's all in the head. It's more about letting yourself have fun you deserve."
Mrs looks fine to me

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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago

cheshire


"We all know couples get all the messages on here but is it common that one partner is the cheerleader and feels like they're dragging the other along for the ride? I can honestly say that both of us have had some of the best fun of our lives meeting on here but when my partner decides 'Im past 40 and not looking my best any more' I just have to grin and bear it till they get the naughty bug again. This thread isnt about looks, we all know that's all in the head. It's more about letting yourself have fun you deserve."
my wife lacks confidence in herself. And when she feels SHE is not attractive. She tends not want to have meets. Or go to clubs. Becouse she is not a size eight or ten. Like you see at some clubs. She thinks they are better looking. And going to get all the attension of guys. Wife is curvy. But i think this is not the case. Not all guys think or like the same. I know if she was slimmer she would play alot more. I say all the time she looks sexy. N good looking. But when a woman has made up her mind about herself. Theres no changing it. Lol.

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person.

I've always been clear that i don't want a monogamous marriage. If my wife suddenly decided she did want a monogamous husband then yes she would be with the wrong person. But she doesn't, so she isn't. "

For now she doesn't but if she did ( quite possible at some point) would you pack your bags and leave?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Or we could just respect our partners' wishes....

If that's how your relationship works then fine, but we have mutual expectations of each other and not all are negotiable. For example, if i (husband) decided i didn't want to have children, my wife would not simply respect my wishes.

Somewhat different to shagging people, but if you don't share the same goals and it's that much of an issue, then you're with the wrong person.

I've always been clear that i don't want a monogamous marriage. If my wife suddenly decided she did want a monogamous husband then yes she would be with the wrong person. But she doesn't, so she isn't.

For now she doesn't but if she did ( quite possible at some point) would you pack your bags and leave? "

No, but I'd continue to swing without her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All mutual here ..good foe goose good for gander ...if one or other not feeling it dont do It ...from past experiences it just don't work if all are not on same page or just trying to please a partner

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