FabSwingers.com forum: expectations. swinging, love, monogamy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have just read an email that was sent to my partner., Im now confused and baffled

If you meet someone on a swinging site. and you are both single, get together why do people expect you both to

1 swing only together

2 be monogamas

3 need permition to play

4 tell you your doing it wrong

5 you must have rules

6 you must have a couples profile

Right all the above to us is bollox, we are happy as we are, we play together and apart, why do people have a problem with this and have to express there there opinion and disaproval at the way are... It works for us !!!!. why fix something that not broken. The only problem we have is when socials or meets clash and we have to flip a coin. and they don't know we love to watch each other play.

I/WE are happy as we are if i want to play with someone I will, If he wants to play with someone he will... We Do Not!!!!! need each others permittion to so does he. Is this wrong???????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A different slant to this was raised the other day. People seeking SINGLE perturbed to then find the person not single at all but partner in the background who may make an appearance.

Surely you can recognise someone frustration/or need clarification that they're not going behind someone's back etc?

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

It depends on the individuals, usually when you meet someone you get on well, enjoy fucking, looks great, the dynamics change. It is a blurred line that we trend, one that usually ends in distortion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should be respected for doing what is right for yourselves. There is no right or wrong way of doing things. I have met a significant other through FAB and we have chosen to have a couples profile as well as our individual ones and chosen to only play together. What we choose is no better than what you choose, its just right for us.

Live and let live i say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read an email that was sent to my partner., Im now confused and baffled

If you meet someone on a swinging site. and you are both single, get together why do people expect you both to

1 swing only together

2 be monogamas

3 need permition to play

4 tell you your doing it wrong

5 you must have rules

6 you must have a couples profile

Right all the above to us is bollox, we are happy as we are, we play together and apart, why do people have a problem with this and have to express there there opinion and disaproval at the way are... It works for us !!!!. why fix somethingthat not broken. The only problem we have is when socials or meets clash and we have to flip a coin. and they don't know we love to watch each other play.

I/WE are happy as we are if i want to play with someone I will, If he wants to play with someone he will... We Do Not!!!!! need each others

permittion to so does he. Is this wrong???????

We had exactly the same problem and had to spell it out on both profiles xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have just read an email that was sent to my partner., Im now confused and baffled

If you meet someone on a swinging site. and you are both single, get together why do people expect you both to

1 swing only together

2 be monogamas

3 need permition to play

4 tell you your doing it wrong

5 you must have rules

6 you must have a couples profile

Right all the above to us is bollox, we are happy as we are, we play together and apart, why do people have a problem with this and have to express there there opinion and disaproval at the way are... It works for us !!!!. why fix somethingthat not broken. The only problem we have is when socials or meets clash and we have to flip a coin. and they don't know we love to watch each other play.

I/WE are happy as we are if i want to play with someone I will, If he wants to play with someone he will... We Do Not!!!!! need each others

permittion to so does he. Is this wrong???????

We had exactly the same problem and had to spell it out on both profiles xx

its been over a year and still spelling it out to people that have known us both a very long time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read an email that was sent to my partner., Im now confused and baffled

If you meet someone on a swinging site. and you are both single, get together why do people expect you both to

1 swing only together

2 be monogamas

3 need permition to play

4 tell you your doing it wrong

5 you must have rules

6 you must have a couples profile

I/WE are happy as we are if i want to play with someone I will, If he wants to play with someone he will... We Do Not!!!!! need each others permittion to so does he. Is this wrong???????

If it is right for you, then it is right for you. However, you will have to be patient with peeps as this is a fairly new development and many have never thought about it the way you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that you should play how you both want to and it is noone elses business but your own.

But in all honesty, if I knew two people were obviously a couple on here, but they both had single profiles and played separately, and I wanted to play with one of them, I would message the other too. Its not about a permission thing, I myself would feel rude if I didnt do that. Its for my benefit really, I would feel happier if I had been upfront with both of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think your wrong. Its just the way you are as a couple but some people apply their own morals etc to others in this kind of setting, its in the nature of most humans to do this

be patient with them and just remember you have what you have, its yours they are not you and never can be

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

key word op used is partner . this means person is not just a fuck buddy who they meet up with purely for swinging . there is a realionship there and as such i would respect that by talking to BOTH parties if i was thinking of playing with just one of them . its not a case of the op requireing permission to play but to give thei partner their place and respect . i play on my own and dont require my hubbys permission ,but i sure as hell give him the respect to ask if he ok if i go out on x night to see y person ,common curtusy in my book . plus im afraid the op and her partner may be totally open about swinging on their own but alot of people are more economical with the truth ! sorry but i dont intend to be put in a nasty situation because someones lied to me .so i would always speak to both parties to ensure everything is above board .

as it is i find it far easier to avoid anyone with a fuck buddy or in a realionship for meeting alone .that way im not treading on anyone toes with out knowing and plus far easier to arrange meets . if person has partner or fuckbuddy then not only you have your own shedule and the other persons to consider but another 3rd party (as thy may of arraged to see each other or play as cpl together on another meet ) . too much like hard work for me ,like keeping things simple.

op does mention she has a male who can be avalable for meets ...maybe wording should be looked at if youve been together or over a year as an actual couple .just my opinion though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed but the OP talked about not needing permission not curtesy of speak to the partner, i can speak to a partner yet still not be asking permission

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agreed but the OP talked about not needing permission not curtesy of speak to the partner, i can speak to a partner yet still not be asking permission

I always speak to a couples other half too and like you its the courtesy aspect of it rather than the permission xx

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Agreed but the OP talked about not needing permission not curtesy of speak to the partner, i can speak to a partner yet still not be asking permission

i dont require permission either, but no issue to me if someone wants to speak to my hubby . id perfer the person im going to play with to be fully comfortable with the situation, and if speaking to hubby puts their mind at rest surely can only be a good thing rather than an annoyance . plus im sure op has nothing to hide so dont the issue

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone I do meet he's either known for a while or at least socially - some do ask (especially the first timers) and some don't. This hardly bothers him: What matters is they're not twats, disrespectful or take the piss otherwise he's liable to have a word with him/her/them

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

If you both love each other and thats how your life works for you, good luck to you.

Respect and communication are the elements which are often missing in a relationship not just in the swinging life and especially in the swinging life

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