FabSwingers.com forum: Inappropriate Touching

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did anybody report him to staff?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr Tickles Syndrome

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

We hate this.

One guy tried to tell us (last time we were at a club, probably the one you've been to today) that the club themselves were telling guys to touch ladies and only to stop if the lady specifically said no, otherwise it was a yes.

XX side stepped his hand with a stare.

If the body language reads right during flirting we're all for a bit of light stroking.

If anything is going to make her lose her shit

in a club it will be this disrespectful behaviour. It happens during play too which is why we only feel comfortable with a locked door between us and everyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hate this.

XX side stepped his hand with a stare.

If the body language reads right during flirting we're all for a bit of light stroking.

If anything is going to make her lose her shit

in a club it will be this disrespectful behaviour. It happens during play too which is why we only feel comfortable with a locked door between us and everyone else."

so she be the one to get told off if she hits the fan for people touching her without her saying yes ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They need to tell couples and women about it too. I am getting utterly fed up of couples or ladies touching without asking.

Less than 5 seconds yesterday and someone who a few weeks previous id shoved hands off me for touching without asking did it again.

Think next time I need to be more verbal and actually tell them x

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

Oh yes, we think this goes for anyone touching inappropriately, not just guys.

XY has been groped too totally out of the blue, which has put him of dressing down in clubs and at parties.

I don't believe the club did say this 'rule' to the guy btw.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh yes, we think this goes for anyone touching inappropriately, not just guys.

XY has been groped too totally out of the blue, which has put him of dressing down in clubs and at parties.

I don't believe the club did say this 'rule' to the guy btw."

It sounds like a bastardisation of the actual rule in place tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand and accept a light and brief touch on the arm or shoulder; anything more, in my opinion, is definitely inappropriate

- Mrs. J -

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?"

Frankly lowering standards in clubs. The first time i went to a club was chameleons about 8 years ago and it was made abundantly clear what would happen to me if i touched without asking.

I can't say the same discipline is enforced at AbFabs today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?

Frankly lowering standards in clubs. The first time i went to a club was chameleons about 8 years ago and it was made abundantly clear what would happen to me if i touched without asking.

I can't say the same discipline is enforced at AbFabs today. "
its chams Ive been touched in recently..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens sometimes in kink clubs too. Hate it. What happened to basic common decency of not touching what isn't yours without consent?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This drives me insane. Fucking ask first. I am sick of guys thinking they can just touch me.

They are told very bluntly. But it puts me on edge and has definitely stopped me wanting to go to clubs

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Sometimes me thinks, the price of a club might sometime be better spent elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't happen to me now as my partner is always with me

Used to happen a fair bit when I was single

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't actually believe this happens !! I haven't been to a club yet and was deciding between AbFabs and S Private - however regardless I'd assumed that play only occurred when invited!!??

Surely we're verging on the lines of sexual assault if people are touching/groping without consent? Just because people are getting it on in a club doesn't mean it's an open invite - or do fundamental social norms completely disappear as soon as you walk in the door?

If someone touched me sexually without asking or at least some form of visual eye contact and acceptance I'd go mental and I'm a bloke! Let alone if someone did the same to any lady I'd come with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?

Frankly lowering standards in clubs. The first time i went to a club was chameleons about 8 years ago and it was made abundantly clear what would happen to me if i touched without asking.

I can't say the same discipline is enforced at AbFabs today. its chams Ive been touched in recently..

I would speak to the staff, we go to Chams and the staff would not allow that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?

Frankly lowering standards in clubs. The first time i went to a club was chameleons about 8 years ago and it was made abundantly clear what would happen to me if i touched without asking.

I can't say the same discipline is enforced at AbFabs today. its chams Ive been touched in recently..

I would speak to the staff, we go to Chams and the staff would not allow that."
and make myself look like a frigid arse. I do think all clubs need to say to all even long standing members guys.. girls and couples that touching without asking is not on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One reason i don't go to clubs. There's been a lot about this in recent months and it's giving guys a bad name and makes it harder to be relaxed... There's always that concern about reading signs wrongly. Coffee meets only and one cannot be false accused. It's so sad when this is the way it's going more and more.

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?

Frankly lowering standards in clubs. The first time i went to a club was chameleons about 8 years ago and it was made abundantly clear what would happen to me if i touched without asking.

I can't say the same discipline is enforced at AbFabs today. its chams Ive been touched in recently..

I would speak to the staff, we go to Chams and the staff would not allow that. and make myself look like a frigid arse. I do think all clubs need to say to all even long standing members guys.. girls and couples that touching without asking is not on "

It does seem to be more of an issue these days than years ago when people only touched if invited to Thank goodness for lockable playrooms as that has to be worst time to get touched uninvited

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By *ive it to usCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

Its always been a issue in most clubs . Weve being playing for almost 20 years. If your in a open room it will always happen (your a swinger?!) If you don't want, just push a wandering hand away if you like carry on. Its very straight forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had it with some prick in cupids. Got told about 3 times no. Thought he was gods gift and could donwhat he wants.

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By *egs11ABCWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

TBH think it's more a personality (or lack of) flaw than a swinging club thing.

I'm a taxi driver amd.for say the last 5/6 years iv notoced the amount of guys that think im fair game is ridiculous. Sd to one guy sorry could u stop touching me please. He had the cheek.to be offended and sd I'm happily married im just being friendly!!!

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Had it with some prick in cupids. Got told about 3 times no. Thought he was gods gift and could donwhat he wants."

If you had reported it to staff it would have been dealt with. It's a one strike and you are out rule and there are cameras in public areas so things like this can be sorted quickly

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If someone already has your attention and some engagement then touching may be appropriate, of the most non-sexual kind. My experience is that it's hands that appear almost from nowhere or creepy lurkers who have waited to get a grope when in passing. They can get you whilst distracted, engaged with others etc - perhaps assuming the body part touching you is somebody else.

Most of us are probably too polite to make a fuss of it publicly immediately or are busy involved with other things. So the perpetrators can get off Scott free.

Perhaps clubs should make guests show a user number on demand to people requesting it, for easier identification and ejection etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to say, I think it'll always be a problem. It's born of a lack of respect. It's hard work being a single guy in a club, but unfortunately most men seem to have missed the point that this scene is about more than just sex. If the ones that are guilty of touching when they shouldn't are taught that if you talk to people and interact with them that way, they might get invited to play! Be respectful, be nice and be a gentleman. It's that simple.

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman
over a year ago

Oswestry

"I'm sorry to say, I think it'll always be a problem. It's born of a lack of respect. It's hard work being a single guy in a club, but unfortunately most men seem to have missed the point that this scene is about more than just sex. If the ones that are guilty of touching when they shouldn't are taught that if you talk to people and interact with them that way, they might get invited to play! Be respectful, be nice and be a gentleman. It's that simple."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an whole thread on this with about 100 comments, all of which say the guy should ask, and inappropriate contact can be met with appropriate force

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its always been a issue in most clubs . Weve being playing for almost 20 years. If your in a open room it will always happen (your a swinger?!) If you don't want, just push a wandering hand away if you like carry on. Its very straight forward.

"
i disagree... like you Ive been playing in clubs for a long time. It has only been becoming a regular occurrence the last few and more so the last year.

And sorry but open room or not. Touching someone intimately isnt appropriate. A gentle touch on the arm okay. But im talking pussy..arse or boobs.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I have to say I actually find the women more touchy with the men !

Yes a few men are disrespectful but I see loads of women think it's perfectly acceptable touching guys when they walk past and they look just as uncomfortable if it's not welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say I actually find the women more touchy with the men !

Yes a few men are disrespectful but I see loads of women think it's perfectly acceptable touching guys when they walk past and they look just as uncomfortable if it's not welcome "
yup.. i 100% agree with this x

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I have to say I actually find the women more touchy with the men !

Yes a few men are disrespectful but I see loads of women think it's perfectly acceptable touching guys when they walk past and they look just as uncomfortable if it's not welcome yup.. i 100% agree with this x "

Guys get a bad rep for it but often goes unmentioned the other way around ... same rules I think

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Never had it happen, maybe we just don't have the asses for it.

Or maybe we spend too much time nattering.

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By *apillonNoirWoman
over a year ago

There...

"I can understand and accept a light and brief touch on the arm or shoulder; anything more, in my opinion, is definitely inappropriate

- Mrs. J -"

^^ This - if you can't make eye contact with me then a brief touch is fine - I'll then try to make eye contact and say yes or no. Thankfully I'm not the shy type and very happy to ask anyone touching inappropriately to back off or risk being reported for assault.

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

We have had it happen a few times over the years and to be honest the worst offenders are the ladies who are part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have had it happen a few times over the years and to be honest the worst offenders are the ladies who are part of a couple. "

Yup.. single guys nearly always ask. And to be honest A single guy im quite happy to say dont touch please. But feel with a couple or woman its harder x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went on my own to a club, with a great reputation, I felt I had to be on guard all night long. Guys just grabbing at me without asking the moment I was distracted. Couldn't relax, and it ruined the night. It seemed many thought i was a 'free-for-all' because I was a single woman.

Not in a hurry to try going on my own to a club again.

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman
over a year ago

Oswestry

"I went on my own to a club, with a great reputation, I felt I had to be on guard all night long. Guys just grabbing at me without asking the moment I was distracted. Couldn't relax, and it ruined the night. It seemed many thought i was a 'free-for-all' because I was a single woman.

Not in a hurry to try going on my own to a club again."

Sounds terrible Think a lot depends on the club itself I've been to my local club on my own a couple of times and not had any hassles

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By *xotic indianCouple
over a year ago

leicester

That's the only reason we go to club only couples only day Hate it even when guys follow you around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is this still an issue in clubs? Can we not just cut to the chase and start breaking fingers?

Great day event today soured (only slightly) by one guy who had a serious case of wandering hands with a few ladies, including my Mistress.

What makes them think it's ok?"

Did you say anything to the staff?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's now been raised. Like I said, my partner dealt with it well at the time, and it was only after chatting to another couple of ladies who were there it's become apparent that he was somewhat 'handsy'.

We know who he is and I'm pretty sure he'll be being spoken to if he comes back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the only reason we go to club only couples only day Hate it even when guys follow you around "
as many have said. It seems to be couples more than single guys x and women especially

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"That's the only reason we go to club only couples only day Hate it even when guys follow you around as many have said. It seems to be couples more than single guys x and women especially "

As you were saying before I'm the same with finding it hard to tell a woman to leave off lol .. women seem to take offence more than men which I really find uncomfortable

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Perhaps it is time to create written contracts to be used in playrooms for clubs.

There could be two types one giving permission to touch signed by the lady and gent party to the procedure and witness by two unconnected club members.

The second which allows a range of sexual practices to be undertaken (those not included to be scored out witness by three unconnected club members.

It won’t disturb play too much for the lady to stop and sign such contracts during play as long as there are the requisite numbers of witnesses available at the time and it would give all peace of mind.

The contracts could carry a warning for the gentleman not to touch the lady’s shoulder etc. in order to attract her attention to sign the above contracts.

There could also be a short cooling off period included in both contract in case the lady changes her mind between signing and the play beginning.

Seriously though is it too much to ask people to use common sense in clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the only reason we go to club only couples only day Hate it even when guys follow you around as many have said. It seems to be couples more than single guys x and women especially

As you were saying before I'm the same with finding it hard to tell a woman to leave off lol .. women seem to take offence more than men which I really find uncomfortable

.it seems like if you tell a woman or a couple your odd.. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's unbelievable that some people are doing it, i mean, as someone said earlier, it's not because it's a "swinging" club that you're allowed to touch anyone without their consent (men,women,TV/TS) no matter the sex or sexual orientation. It's crazy that the staff of a club has to precise this, logic, rule.

This is just wrong, sometimes in gay club some dude clearly gropped my bum i immediatly told those kind of person that, first i ain't gay, and second, that it ain't right to do such things. Even if a woman does the same without talking of any hints or whatever, i would tell her to fuck off as well.

This is just disrespectful as hell, no one's just a piece of meat.

Makes me afraid of going in a club tbh.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Is it unusual to want to chat and say hi before hitting a playroom?

We tend to get the are you into bi ladies conversation done whilst in the bar or jacuzzi area.

On the occasions we meet a couple in a playroom, we tend to go with the holding a hand out approach inviting them to touch us, or asking if we can kiss touch etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it unusual to want to chat and say hi before hitting a playroom?

We tend to get the are you into bi ladies conversation done whilst in the bar or jacuzzi area.

On the occasions we meet a couple in a playroom, we tend to go with the holding a hand out approach inviting them to touch us, or asking if we can kiss touch etc.

Even flirting around the pool table it will be more of a wiggling of ass inviting the touch rather than just grabbing a handful. I get that conversation is not always the way to flirt but inviting an approach seems fairly clear. Or is that naive of us?"
think the problem is we will talk to people we wouldn't play with.. then because we have engaged in conversation they think its okay. If they kinda touched and said would you like some company... not an issue. We will tell people maybe come find us... that is saying its okay.

But i worry if i do more than remove hands from me it will cause a scene and id look a bit pathetic reporting people for touching me when im naked in a swing club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps it is time to create written contracts to be used in playrooms for clubs.

There could be two types one giving permission to touch signed by the lady and gent party to the procedure and witness by two unconnected club members.

The second which allows a range of sexual practices to be undertaken (those not included to be scored out witness by three unconnected club members.

The contracts could carry a warning for the gentleman not to touch the lady’s shoulder etc. in order to attract her attention to sign the above contracts.

There could also be a short cooling off period included in both contract in case the lady changes her mind between signing and the play beginning.

Seriously though is it too much to ask people to use common sense in clubs "

I get you may have said this in jest but it's a horrendous idea. People are free to withdraw consent to sexual contact and change their mind at any point. Signing a contract and giving someone the sense of entitlement that "she signed a contract to say I could so I didn't think she meant it when she said no and asked me to stop". Bad idea.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

"Is it unusual to want to chat and say hi before hitting a playroom?

We tend to get the are you into bi ladies conversation done whilst in the bar or jacuzzi area.

On the occasions we meet a couple in a playroom, we tend to go with the holding a hand out approach inviting them to touch us, or asking if we can kiss touch etc.

Even flirting around the pool table it will be more of a wiggling of ass inviting the touch rather than just grabbing a handful. I get that conversation is not always the way to flirt but inviting an approach seems fairly clear. Or is that naive of us? think the problem is we will talk to people we wouldn't play with.. then because we have engaged in conversation they think its okay. If they kinda touched and said would you like some company... not an issue. We will tell people maybe come find us... that is saying its okay.

But i worry if i do more than remove hands from me it will cause a scene and id look a bit pathetic reporting people for touching me when im naked in a swing club"

Yes if we are interested but have not gauged whether the other party are into us, we will say we are going to play feel free to join us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've experienced it. 50/50 men and women. Very off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been tempted on several occasions to stroke a cock, but only when it's hugely erect and bobbing around two inches from my nose. But other than that I rarely touch someone, even on the arm unless we are being mutually intimate

Belle x

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