FabSwingers.com forum: Bitch or slut

By *wo-Good OP Couple
over a year ago

South London

Just a question, do women on here actually like being called slut and bitch. Only asking because I just got a message from a guy saying I looked like a dirty bitch so he was given a mummy lecture and blocked. I love sex but I certainly wouldn't call myself a slut. Or an I being over sensitive as this is a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a question, do women on here actually like being called slut and bitch. Only asking because I just got a message from a guy saying I looked like a dirty bitch so he was given a mummy lecture and blocked. I love sex but I certainly wouldn't call myself a slut. Or an I being over sensitive as this is a swingers site."
no if you dont know the person concerned he was extremely rude and deserved his punishment we may be promiscuous but we should always have manners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not being oversensitive. Especially it was an introductory message. I certainly wouldn't use those words unless I got the impression that, those words would be welcomed. Having said that the words dirty and bitch do seem to have become a very common phrase together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree about manners. From my own experience, there's a distinct lack of them on here. Although I'm not going to tar everyone with the same brush!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd have done the same. Guys like that have major issues with women I think.

Unless it's invited, you should never assume what people are into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd have done the same. Guys like that have major issues with women I think.

Unless it's invited, you should never assume what people are into."
unfortunately people here do make snap decisions about your personality based on an ambiguous text message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife adores dirty talk so locked to be called names like that, we all like to get off on different things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind but a time and place for it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like it. With certain people in the bedroom

not in a first message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy it when I am having sex. In fact I love it. But to have a total stranger randomly use that kind of language on me is offensive, and I put it in the same camp as a total stranger randomly sending us a picture of a dick.

Mrs

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By *ubmichellestarTV/TS
over a year ago

Kent

Depends who with but can be fun I don't really like bitch but slut is fine xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see myself as a slut or a bitch. I don't like both terms. And anyone who calls me those gets blocked. None of the few gents I've been with have ever called me those names.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noooo. Just no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeeeees just yeeeeeees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about context when using 'dirty talk' of any kind...and an introductory message is definitely not the right context!

I find being called names like that a real turn on in some scenarios, but only with people that I know reasonably well and have established a level of acceptable play with.

Getting a random message like that out of the blue, would have me reaching for the block button too. If someone hasn't got basic manners from the off, the chances are they're going to have the wrong attitude towards sex, for us.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all about context when using 'dirty talk' of any kind...and an introductory message is definitely not the right context!

I find being called names like that a real turn on in some scenarios, but only with people that I know reasonably well and have established a level of acceptable play with.

V x"
yes but surely you only find it sexy in the actual act of sex ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody in their right mind would approach a female in a social setting or a swingers club and say that.

The internet should be the same but it's totally different even males get rude messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the same old chestnut, some women hate those terms, some love them. I'd say inappropriate for a first message unless the profile you were messaging used similar language about themselves.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I certainly don't.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"It's the same old chestnut, some women hate those terms, some love them. I'd say inappropriate for a first message unless the profile you were messaging used similar language about themselves. "

I would basically concur exactly with this.

All I would add is that those who do open with these words do not "have a problem with women" they have a problem with context and realising what is appropriate as an opening gambit. There is plenty of evidence that many women enjoy that so it's not offensive to women as a rule. It's likely to be offensive to some and that's why people who want to enjoy that type of chat need to open carefully and see how people may react.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all about context when using 'dirty talk' of any kind...and an introductory message is definitely not the right context!

I find being called names like that a real turn on in some scenarios, but only with people that I know reasonably well and have established a level of acceptable play with.

V xyes but surely you only find it sexy in the actual act of sex ?"

Why 'surely'? Is it so incomprehensible that someone should enjoy being called a name like that by someone, as an expression of their lustful desire or admiration, not just when they're actually having sex? As long as it's used in a positive way sexually, and that is understood by all involved, then I don't have a problem with it at all. It's when any phrase/term/name is used in a derogatory way that I'm not comfortable...that's why, if a complete stranger or someone I'm just getting to know used terms like that, it could potentially be offensive, because I wouldn't know if they were using it in a positive way or as an insult. As I said in my earlier post, context is everything when it comes to things like this.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite like it. With certain people in the bedroom

not in a first message

I love it when playing but defo not in the 1st msg

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Some like it.

But not me ...not even in the bed room.

I even put it in my profile (as if they read).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dislike both, in any context

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I hate it went people assume that because I am on a swingers website that I'm OK with being called a dirty bitch, slut or a filthy whore in messages.

That a message stating they are gonna 'smash my back door in' or 'ruin me' is going to make me hit the reply button while sitting in a wet patch

You don't fucking know me! What makes them think that I am a woman who likes being demeaned by a sexual partner.

But, these kind of messages do make a great filter, if they can't be bothered to respect me in a 1st message then there is probably little chance they would have the courtesy of showing me an ounce of respect or consideration in the bedroom.

Maybe a mantra of 'porn isn't real' would help.

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

James knows what he can call me and when and getting called names like that can be a real turn on for me.

If anyone else tried it they'd be out on their arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My lover is Floppsy most of the time but sometimes she loves to be called slut when in a sub mood and wants filthy sex...all depends on mood and slut is not disrespectful in that situation just role play

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By *reeneyedbuddhaCouple
over a year ago

on tees

"Dislike both, in any context"

You could call me a tart , or a naughty girl

but never those as they sound aggressive to me ( greeneyes)

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

Depends on who you are. Being called a slut on here? No issues with that at all, in context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither from a stranger. I'd find it very derogatory and highly insulting. The same as 'babe, luv, Darlin. I have a name it's there to be used.

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By *robertsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I think it depends how comfortable and familiar you are with the person that said it . For example we went to a barbecue at some friends of ours and a girlfriend of my wife mentioned how classy she looked , my wife's best friend turned and said "classy" ? come off it she's always been a slut . It was just banter and they all laughed at which she looked at me as if to say

"oh if you only knew what we get up to"

I like slut and she'll often call herself that when we're with one of our black guys and if he called her that it would turn her on but in order to use words like that you'd have to know the person I feel .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind my husband calling me a dirty bitch but hate the word slut. Each to their own I guess

Mrs C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get this a lot. Don't like it, and wonder on what planet these pricks think that it will get them a meet....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate any of that kinda stuff from someone I don't know...have only ever liked being called a slut by one man...anyone else and it is a big telling off, even if I know them... actually hate it from anyone else apart from my old fb... Bitch I am ok with once I know someone enough...whore is a massive no all round!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, it's the context. We wouldn't like it in a first message.

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By *oyuer99Man
over a year ago

PRESTON

I am very uncomfortable with those terms unless I know the lady very well. To be fair not comfortable with a lot of the language used in the directing rooms by those incredibly desirable lads and their 12 inch cock.

That what you get when a pricks brain lets his cock talk for him.

Probably why I am repulsive to all known life forms. lol.

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

Lots of people here suggesting that it's wrong because they're not into it. How about you remember where you are and that what you dislike, others do not. It's not wrong or derogatory, you're just sensitive to that thing in particular.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite like it. With certain people in the bedroom

not in a first message

I love it when playing but defo not in the 1st msg

Exactly

With some people it's horny to be called a dirty little slut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of people here suggesting that it's wrong because they're not into it. How about you remember where you are and that what you dislike, others do not. It's not wrong or derogatory, you're just sensitive to that thing in particular. "

But people should not assume that...even if they have heard someone else talk to you that way...if they don't know you...that it is ok for them to, surely!! So in a first message is just rude...I don't message guys saying " get on your knees bitch and get ready for my strap on!" Because as much as I like using it...I know not everyone else is up for that!

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

Yes I'm not suggesting that people should be ok with it but in this thread some people are saying it's wrong. It's not wrong, it's just not to their test. It's like saying carrot cake is wrong. It's not, they may just not like it. And do t have to have it, of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The practice of name calling is not wrong...in context...but sending in a first message is...assuming that because someone is on here means ya can just jump in with both feet is too, and often ends up with some doughnut falling in his arse because his message has been deleted ...I think most women need at least a hello before even discussing anything sex related, let alone letting someone talk to them like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really like dirty talk such as bitch and slut. Though this type of language has to be used appropriately, not sure I'd like it in a first message as there has to be a connection first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh difficult one. In the vanilla world it would be considered socially unacceptable to use that kind of language when chatting someone up in person for the first time. It doesn't mean they don't like that language, but it would be expected that they refrain from that type of talk until more information is available. If we are comparing this with cake preferences, then by contrast it would be perfectly reasonable to offer someone carrot cake in ignorance of the fact that they don't like carrot cake, and all they need to say is 'no thank you'. The question is how much do the rules of what is socially unacceptable in the vanilla world alter for the swinging world? Is it ever ok to introduce oneself to a complete stranger in this manner?

Mrs

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By *ightDiversionMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

[Removed by poster at 20/05/17 11:13:33]

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By *ightDiversionMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Personally I think it's completely out of order to refer to someone in any of those ways. I am not even too comfortable using them during the act but can be pushed to whisper them if required!

It is I fear the reversal of equality in the minds of guys again- probably as a result of easy access to abusive and demeaning porn. Still the gender split - stud is a term of endearment whereas slut is derogatory. I thought we were getting past that at the turn of the century- clearly not.

Guys seem to be learning that they way to 'do ' sex is to slap a lady round the face and slam you cock down there throat until their eyes water. Call them any number of abusive terms and not even thing of performing oral to give pleasure. The slide back to the 50's.

I pity those with teenage girls- what a crap sex life they are going to have ...

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

From a stranger instant block

Miss

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I would think as an opening gambit it's an all or nothing ploy. Either the recipient will hate it and block or get off on it and write back.

However if he had said hello and built up a rapour then he may have had more success.

We can vary from filthy to loving in our sex life, but it's about building a mood and a connection.

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

As a first message I don't like it tbh.

If we message a bit or have met then to me its friendly banter and good fun then though x

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I can't stand messages like that and always put them straight ... nine out of ten times it's newbies that don't know the protocol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it's used in a first message then it tells me all i need to know about someone's attitude to women...in another context...i might be fine with it....if a man hasn't got brains to see the difference that's their problem..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bitch and a naughty slut but call me it without the chemistry I'll be inclined too punch you in the face in a very none sexual manner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read your profile, it would be completely inappropriate to use that term.

Even in the context of a couple where they have a user name that indicates a master sub slut relationship, it would be disrespectful on the first message, unless they had messaged first and set that tone.

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Time, place and judgement if you ask me.

Sometimes it's clear from a profile that the woman wants to be called that.

Still, it is probably not a good idea to lead with bitch or slut in a first email

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd have done the same. Guys like that have major issues with women I think.

Unless it's invited, you should never assume what people are into.unfortunately people here do make snap decisions about your personality based on an ambiguous text message"

And those are the types of people I don't meet - or throw out of my house as I did with a Fabber a few weeks back. Literally escorted him out of the door.

I like these words, but only when some trust is established.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd have done the same. Guys like that have major issues with women I think.

Unless it's invited, you should never assume what people are into.unfortunately people here do make snap decisions about your personality based on an ambiguous text message

And those are the types of people I don't meet - or throw out of my house as I did with a Fabber a few weeks back. Literally escorted him out of the door.

I like these words, but only when some trust is established."
I would hope as a gentleman you could always trust my words and deeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never call anyone those things, unless they had asked me in advance to use those terms during a 'meet'.

Saying that, if they had I doubt we would met in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it, both of them. For me, they have such negative connotations and I love sex and want my partner to be loving it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like dirty names for dirty situations. I have a list of names that are not acceptable though. Say it more then once and they will be in big trouble.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I like dirty names for dirty situations. I have a list of names that are not acceptable though. Say it more then once and they will be in big trouble. "

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Some ladies actually don't mind, plus for them that is the only thing that makes them come when they are fucking, can ladies back me up?

It is a word of endearment when you are close to the lady , should not be taken personally , I get called a slut by my female friends all the time, it does not change who I am and I don't take it personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some ladies actually don't mind, plus for them that is the only thing that makes them come when they are fucking, can ladies back me up?

I can back you up here. My ex use to get really upset by the fact that he couldn't make me cum. I told him I need to feel dirty and perhaps he should try calling me dirty names. As he was a man he didn't listen to me and carried on with his silent sex. Don't get me wrong, sex with him felt amazing but for me I need the whole package.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some ladies actually don't mind, plus for them that is the only thing that makes them come when they are fucking, can ladies back me up?

yes,this is exactly what most of the replies on here have said...the issue is that they are, for most,completely unacceptable in a first message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often call Mrs S a strumpet. It's a marvellous word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like being called a bitch or slut by certain people. Hubby calls me his slut regularly and from him it makes my girly bits tingle. My girlfriend called me a bitch when I was hitting just right with a riding crop. Again tingly bits. Anyone else that would result in the block button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you are desensitized to it. To be honest, yours is a bit of a dick head post. Op asked opinions and is getting them.

What? Don't like being called a dick head? I see nothing wrong with it. You must be over sensitive...

See what I did there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People seem to not understand that intent and context REALLY matters with words. If I called my other half a slut out of the blue, she'd have a bit of a cob on, if I did it during sex, she'd be turned on.

The problem with this site is that a lot of fakes refer to their fake females like this, leading to the belief that it's play time all the time and that no one wants to be treated with respect, and idiot men who think it's a turn no matter when and how they say it.

This has also led us to flat out refusing to message the majority of couples who appear as though the female half is a porn star / slutty bunny type in the profile, with no self respect at all, as I've never met a single girl who's happy to be thought of like that by people she isn't necessarily comfortable with. These are usually just fantasists hoping you'll try and swap pics with them. No you're not "a filthy little cum slut who loves nothing more than feeling a cock in her throat", you're an imaginary girlfriend of a sad single wanker.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Yeah I agree not in the first message but when I get to know a lady there is something about it that makes a lady look more sexy and brings out a naughty side of her, it starts with the look in her eyes, its like every other thing she does in life is just acting and this is who she really is, it is so much fun with my female friends lol

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i had one guy ask me if i liked being a slut during a 3sum, told him i wasn't a slut and carried on with the DP anyway.

not everyone enjoys being degraded. i've had bitch in my user name before, tempted to change my name back but not sure yet. i don't mind being called a bitch and find it empowering, unless someone thinks i'm their bitch.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I wouldn't appreciate being called either

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By *hathotcoupleCouple
over a year ago

...

Neither !!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Not one tiny bit instant blocks from me if that happens.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

What's the different lol Jk

Never assume a lady like to be called names, especially a crude one like slut respect comes first as the old saying goes freak in the bedroom, lady on the street.

Ass is always a safe word

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

Only my mates get to call me those names.

fuckwitts do not.

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Key point is don't assume

Ask what they like or follow their lead... simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never use the words to be honest its too crude and it reinforces sterotyps

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I (Mart) get a little "sexual tourettes" when we play, so I ask the lady if there's anything I should avoid saying.

Its not like I start insulting people, but I do like to make sure if I call a lady a "sexy slut" she understands its meant as a compliment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you are desensitized to it. To be honest, yours is a bit of a dick head post. Op asked opinions and is getting them.

What? Don't like being called a dick head? I see nothing wrong with it. You must be over sensitive...

See what I did there? "

Great post! I completely missed the 'dick head post' so thanks for bringing it to my attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mildred loves me calling her a slut and a bitch when were playing, but from strangers she didn't know is not acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love being called a slut x

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Not for me the last person who called me a bitch and slut got a slap

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By *wo-Good OP Couple
over a year ago

South London

Thanks for all your replies, seems I'm not the only one who doesn't like being called that unless it's part of the bedroom fun.

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By *inloveMan
over a year ago

lincs

"Thanks for all your replies, seems I'm not the only one who doesn't like being called that unless it's part of the bedroom fun. "

Like every thing else totally for the bedroom and if consensual between people and inappropriate in a first message and everyone has words they don't like old friend said "call me ANYTHING when we play slut bitch whore etc but NEVER a slag "

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Only when extremely horny does Mr use these terms - no other bugger need use them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lady in the streets.....you get the idea, if a girl gives permission then yes it's allowed but not until and any bloke thinking he can use that language in messages should expect a lecture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do call somebody those names but only because I know they like it, would never do it unsolicited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do call somebody those names but only because I know they like it, would never do it unsolicited."

Just so you know... I like it a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How has he concluded that you are a dirty b#*@h, nothing suggested in your photos or profile, nowt queer as folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do call somebody those names but only because I know they like it, would never do it unsolicited.

Just so you know... I like it a lot

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your replies, seems I'm not the only one who doesn't like being called that unless it's part of the bedroom fun.

You are the first person (I think) in the thread to use the word 'consent'. It's commonly accepted in the swing scene that physical touch of a sexual nature must be done with consent. It is accepted as wrong when someone touches sexually without consent. I think those same ethics should apply to the use of sexual language. If such language has not been cons noted to that would be consider abuse in the vanilla world. The same rules of consent should apply in the swinging world, as it does with sexual touching.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bonnie quite likes it, and worse! Only by Clyde though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do call somebody those names but only because I know they like it, would never do it unsolicited.

Just so you know... I like it a lot

I will make sure to remember that

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By *ieutenantMan
over a year ago

london

Yes some people don't like profanity.I think is a bed room banter. Some people find it very debasing some like it as well. People should thread carefully and know where to draw the boundary.

Just my advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate being called bitch or slut

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"I do call somebody those names but only because I know they like it, would never do it unsolicited.

Just so you know... I like it a lot

We can start with "come here foxy pants"

Then build up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a question, do women on here actually like being called slut and bitch."

Only during sex.

She'd punch my fucking lights out if I said it outside the bedroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being called a bitch bcoz at the end of the day i am 1 and proud of that fact i wont take shit from no1 not even family so yer i love it xxkayxx

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"It's the same old chestnut, some women hate those terms, some love them. I'd say inappropriate for a first message unless the profile you were messaging used similar language about themselves.

I would basically concur exactly with this.

I'd agree with this!

Personally I'm not into derogatory terms at all! The only exception to this is occasionally during the throes of passion - when I might encourage the guy to 'call me what he likes' and get turned on by the phrases he comes out with whilst he's highly turned on!

If a guy called me anything when not invited to, or outside sex itself, I'd find that highly offensive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call the Mrs lots of various things some really nice and some a little naughty

depends on the situation and mood

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