FabSwingers.com forum: Bi guys whose profile says they are straight

By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

We can often advertise to meet bi guys and get quite a few responses from guys whose profile says they are straight. When asked about this discrepancy they usually say something about being discreet.

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh?

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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

Nope think your spot on !

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By *leasureseanyMan
over a year ago

hull

I second that. Being bi put some women/couples off but being honest in the long is better for everybody.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I'd go with

C - They've grown up around so much negative stigma surrounding bisexuality that they are scared of being outed and victimised if they put it in writing. And that they've been struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality because of that conditioning.

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By *orksbiguyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

deff the second one

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I'd go with

That's kind of an expanded version of a

there may be all sorts of reasons why they don't want to be out as bi but on a swingers site no one is going to victimise you. Just some people won't have sex with you.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

No doubt someone will be along shortly to chastise people for needing labels.

But I always find our own labelling is very handy for the Fab straight guys who want bi sex. Right up until I tell them we only play with openly bi guys.

If we are honest about our sexuality and understand it reduces our chances with others, I don't see why others can't do the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet""

That's most definitely the case, the majority of people always have and always will disagree with homosexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd go with

I'd agree with this!! Currently talking to 2 guys who says they are straight but aren't. It's a social stigma for s man to say he's bi. It's easier for some than others to just get on with itv

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I'd go with

I'd agree with this!! Currently talking to 2 guys who says they are straight but aren't. It's a social stigma for s man to say he's bi. It's easier for some than others to just get on with itv"

That's fair enough but if someone has issues with shame about their sexuality I am afraid it's not something we want to have to deal with in a casual sex encounter. Maybe you shouldn't be trying to swing until you have worked through those issues

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We can often advertise to meet bi guys and get quite a few responses from guys whose profile says they are straight. When asked about this discrepancy they usually say something about being discreet.

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Not at all, I prefer guys who are openly bi if I'm looking for a bi guy and a guy with a profile that says straight messages it's deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get loads of guys saying they r bi but profile says straight. Who the lying too the straight people or bi people? Suspect its said so they can play with wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is sex wether it with a man or a woman it's all sex enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

No I would say that your pretty spot on

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By *obandruthCouple
over a year ago

wolverhampton

B 99%of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of guys that message me is un-real. I have that I am bi-curious (not bisexual, cause there is a big difference), and happy to play with both in a couple scenario but not MM.

Why have people got to lie?! Especially on a site like this, what have you got to hide?? Makes me wonder how people go about living their day to day lives if they are not even honest with themselves to begin with.

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

I think you're spot on too.

I'll admit in my first few months on fab I put myself down as straight as it seemed to put so many couples and single ladies off. I've known I'm bi since I was about 15/16 but I've never told anyone away from here or few other sites I've been over the last 10 years so discretion was another reason as it did seem strange to come out to strangers online when no one in real life knows but now I like to be open to all you fabbers and previous people I've met online

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Not harsh at all

I understand your 2 points

mostly, for me, I want a bi swinging partner who is proud to be what he is. (Yes ok ok, I would never expect him to be 'out' in RL and I would never jeapordise that).

If I'm going to share bed space with you... Don't be a sneaky weasly lying little shit.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Sounds about right to me. I'm "discreet" but I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. Big whuppy do!

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By *edonistic ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Stratford

Not harsh - the number of messages we get from straight men claiming to be bi is astounding. We don't often meet straight guys and if we fancy a change, we'll find one ourselves

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I've met one or two guys off gay sites that have a "straight" profile on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?

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By *andL-LiverpoolCouple
over a year ago

Huyton

This really grinds our gears!

We have seen guys change there profile to bi curious after messaging and seeing they list straight

Had straight guys giving excuess:

Friends on here that don't know

(THE more truthful) so I don't put women off

In case my bird sees it

I am bi I'll let your guy suck me off

Oh and we get the I am bi but will only meet you as a couple

If your bi list yourself as bi, be true to yourself

When straight guys message us we point out there straight and they have already lied to us, how could we then trust them during a meet?

Being a bi guy is still a big sticking point, it's ok for women to be bi but guys....

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

..."big sticking point"...*smirk*

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?"

Exactly!

I doubt she'd be labelled a sneaky lying shit because it's sexy and acceptable for a 'straight' woman to have an experimental side at times. For a guy it's underhand and deceitful ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a vocal minority whose 'preference' is not to meet bi men.

Men outnumber women.

They don't want to scupper their already slim chances.

Of the two: I think people who refuse to meet bi sexual people is worse than misleading about being straight right?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"There's a vocal minority whose 'preference' is not to meet bi men.

Men outnumber women.

They don't want to scupper their already slim chances.

Of the two: I think people who refuse to meet bi sexual people is worse than misleading about being straight right?"

But on the other hand as bi guys are relatively rare you will increase your chances with bi couples if you are out as bi. So genuinely bi guys will, in fact, do better if they are out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could be that some guys are curious? Yes I still have straight on my profile, but never had the chance to explore in having my wicked way with a fella. Until that's happened and I know I like it, it'll stay on straight.

That's just me, I'm sure there are others who are using it to get access to the other half.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?

Exactly!

I doubt she'd be labelled a sneaky lying shit because it's sexy and acceptable for a 'straight' woman to have an experimental side at times. For a guy it's underhand and deceitful .... "

Always double standards. I don't blame them for putting straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi is best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell the guys that the men will play first before the woman joins in. That scares the real straight men off.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"There's a vocal minority whose 'preference' is not to meet bi men.

Men outnumber women.

They don't want to scupper their already slim chances.

Of the two: I think people who refuse to meet bi sexual people is worse than misleading about being straight right?

But on the other hand as bi guys are relatively rare you will increase your chances with bi couples if you are out as bi. So genuinely bi guys will, in fact, do better if they are out. "

That's how we see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a vocal minority whose 'preference' is not to meet bi men.

Men outnumber women.

They don't want to scupper their already slim chances.

Of the two: I think people who refuse to meet bi sexual people is worse than misleading about being straight right?

But on the other hand as bi guys are relatively rare you will increase your chances with bi couples if you are out as bi. So genuinely bi guys will, in fact, do better if they are out.

That's how we see it."

I can't say I'm beating people away with a stick but that's anecdotal.

I'm in no great hurry to meet biphobic people.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Nope, how can you build trust from an introduction that contains a lie?

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?"

I would treat the same as a guy. If she's profile straight, we simply wouldn't meet anyway. On that note, never had a message in over ten years of playing, from a woman announcing her sexuality to be different from stated on her profile. In stark contrast from men, there's been hundreds.

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By *nvercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Inverness

When we get mailed by bi men we tell them we dont play with bi guys and they are very quick to tell us it was a mistake when they signed up and are quick to change it on their profile.

So I think its a general thing for single guys to flip their sexuality whoever they speak to. lol xx

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By *bione_1Man
over a year ago

Broxbourne

Hi all.

I was did have strait on my profile when I joined.

I changed to bi curious since I had watched bi porn and found it a massive turn on.

I started to think what it would be like to touch another guys hard cock.

It was then I changed to bi curious.

Since then I've wanked a few guys and had a couple of bi mmf meets where I've wanked the guy off.

Ive linked a guys balls gently as I've finger fucked his tight bum

I love seeing a guy cum

I've found I love taking hot Cum over my face.

Ive never sucked,swallowed or taken anal so that's why I keep my profile as bi cur x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am bi and openly state on my profile.

I have played with single ladies, guys and couples. I can and do adapt to the situation, if it's a straight couple I can play straight and respect that.

It's a free world, don't want to meet me? that's fine, everybody has a choice, not my loss at all. I'm too long in the tooth now to worry what others say or think... it's a swingers site, everybody has preferences, some narrow and some like me, wider ranging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had a good one a guy sent me a message asking to meet and he sent me a pic off him in his ing suit lol I ljust gave him some advice xx

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By *laytimenowMan
over a year ago

Essex

D. I want to shag straight couples & bo couples .

Because Fab allows me to change my preference i do .

Nothing to do with embarrassment or other people .

If you believe anything else you have no idea how devious us blokes are .

Fellas women know how devious we are , so they catch us out very easily , hence a thread like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We once had a guy message us saying he was bi but the reason he put straight is that he was having a dispute with his ex about child custody and CSA payments, and therefore didn't want her to know he was bi. Which made us laugh as I was working for the CSA at the time.

On a more serious note we well understand guys reasons for not being out on fab. But at the other hand we have to put our own needs and preferences first. We're not here for sympathy shags.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"We once had a guy message us saying he was bi but the reason he put straight is that he was having a dispute with his ex about child custody and CSA payments, and therefore didn't want her to know he was bi. Which made us laugh as I was working for the CSA at the time.

On a more serious note we well understand guys reasons for not being out on fab. But at the other hand we have to put our own needs and preferences first. We're not here for sympathy shags. "

Yes because obviously the chance trawl this site and in their eyes its OK to be a swinger but not a bi swinger...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's the ones who get huffy when we point out their profile says straight...like we're supposed to be fecking psychic and know that they once had a bit of a suck of a cock once...

we're here for meets where the opportunity for no male play is a possibility...so assume if a profile says 100% straight that this isn't on the cards and move on...not bring mind readers

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By *XMandMXxCouple
over a year ago

swindon

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Totally spot on.... call them out....

I say ok, you and mr can go and play and I might join in, might not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am fab straight it says so on profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it's the ones who get huffy when we point out their profile says straight...like we're supposed to be fecking psychic and know that they once had a bit of a suck of a cock once...

we're here for meets where the opportunity for no male play is a possibility...so assume if a profile says 100% straight that this isn't on the cards and move on...not bring mind readers "

bi...not no...thats a totally different thing...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've put straight on my profile as that's what I'm looking for right now. I'm bisexual. I don't want to be playing with couples or women(that being said I have plans coming back up soon with a couple that want to meet me)

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done op

We're always getting guys who say bi but have straight on profile

We tend to say thanks but your straight we get the same old response back

Guys be honest you may find you may get a meet especially if your bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've put straight on my profile as that's what I'm looking for right now. I'm bisexual. I don't want to be playing with couples or women(that being said I have plans coming back up soon with a couple that want to meet me)

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?"

not saying they can't but if they contact us and we're only looking for bi guys, how are we supposed to know and why should we have to tease it out of a "straight" gut that they're no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess a simple - we are bi and we only play with no guys, is that ok? Would work it out?

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

Yep the number of guys with Straight on thier profile who send me meet requests PM me in the Cam room of like the photos of my cock. Tells me there is at least a lot more Bi curious / fantasists out there than some forum threads would suggest.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

I'm on the fence here!

In an ideal world we'd all be completely open about our sexuality - and women on here can be - but many women and couples won't meet guys who own so much as a salmon pink T shirt - so I can understand the caution about putting it on a profile!

Let's face it - single guys on fab are between a rock and a hard place when it comes to most aspects of fab! Sexuality is just one of them! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a pink shirt

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?"

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

Our issue is that most men who say they are straight on their profiles but respond to an ad for bi guys will either be lying to get at a woman or have issues of shame around their sexuality. Neither are our thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I guess a simple - we are bi and we only play with no guys, is that ok? Would work it out?"

arrrgh! bi...my autocorrect is against me this morning

that's exactly what our profile says...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I am bi and openly state on my profile.

I have played with single ladies, guys and couples. I can and do adapt to the situation, if it's a straight couple I can play straight and respect that.

This completely!! Have never seen a reason to state anything other than what I am which is a bisexual male and wouldn't ever think to change my sexuality to fit a particular scenario, if that means I "miss out" with the minority who won't meet me because of my sexuality then so be it. The ying to that yang is there's a far bigger pool of opportunity with people who are open to who I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is different forms of bisexuality I think that's what many are confused by, not every male is trying to be misleading.

For example I'm probably Bi playful as a nice big cock in action turns me on, many males will feel the same.

It doesn't mean we all want to suck or fuck necessarily, maybe a handjob at best.

I'm orally curious but have no desire to go any further and would only do so with the right male, under the right circumstances.

That's why I have straight on my profile so far I've never even touched another males cock, it may happen one day but I won't lose any sleep over it if it never happens.

Blatant dishonesty is wrong but I'm certain many males share my thoughts so it's not always deliberately misleading anybody.

As I'm into Voyeurism only am I actually a Bi Voyeur then ? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

Why should I? Why should I put bicurious if the majority of the time I play straight? And actually I'm not curious, I know exactly what I am lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them that you will meet but will only join in once you have seen the two guys together as it's that that mostly turns you on

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

Why should I? Why should I put bicurious if the majority of the time I play straight? And actually I'm not curious, I know exactly what I am lol"

Obviously you can put whatever you like. The initial point was about us advertising for a bi guy and getting answers from guys whose profile says they are straight. If you say you are straight and don't answer ads requesting bi people there's no harm done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ignore "straight" guys and couples with straight guys now tbh as we know the chemistry just wont be there.

Each to their own. No problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are what you are , don't see the point in saying it any other way tbh

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

I sometimes think iam neither straight or Bi. Just a horny Hedonist. If it seams fun and i like it i lick it. With permission of course.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I sometimes think iam neither straight or Bi. Just a horny Hedonist. If it seems fun and i like it i lick it. With permission of course."

A great way of looking at it...certainly one I can align to

The trouble is Fab forces you to apply a label

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes think iam neither straight or Bi. Just a horny Hedonist. If it seams fun and i like it i lick it. With permission of course."

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

its both but mostly B.. i wont meet them if they cant be honest about who they are . despite clearly saying that in my profile, i still get endless messages from them..thats why i would love the option to block straight guys from mailing me ...

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I think it all comes down to which you relate to most.

It's tricky because one persons perception of bi isn't always someone else's. So people try to second guess that. I.e. Guys who are orally only bi may well put straight as they don't want to give off the impression they are happy with anal off the guy if the meet a couple for example. And chose to explain it if the are required to.

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By *RR68BMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

I think you must always be honest with people. You can put bi-curious for example.

Some very good friends of mine, a couple, he changed his from bi-curious to straight and I was like, you're about as straight as I am, love lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

Why should I? Why should I put bicurious if the majority of the time I play straight? And actually I'm not curious, I know exactly what I am lol"

Ask fab to make a 'hete

exible' category for you then.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird."

The stigma will never end if people keep lying again it.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird.

The stigma will never end if people keep lying again it. "

Indeed forty years ago you could expect abuse and harassment if you were publicly gay. These days we think anyone who abuses and harries gay people is an arse. That changed because people were willing to stand up and say they were gay and there was nothing wrong with it.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird.

The stigma will never end if people keep lying again it.

In fabland 95% of the stigma would evaporate overnight if everyone was honest due to the sheer volume of cocksuckers with straight profiles.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird.

The stigma will never end if people keep lying again it.

In fabland 95% of the stigma would evaporate overnight if everyone was honest due to the sheer volume of cocksuckers with straight profiles. "

I struggle to see why anyone would care about stigma on a site where you are anonymous and where everyone goes against prevailing sexual mores to some extent.

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By *afftypeMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I'd go with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd go with

Definitely this. There's definitely a stigma for guys.

Women can be bi and its fine, men get looked at like their weird.

The stigma will never end if people keep lying again it.

People still get abuse and harassment for being gay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Society as a whole views bisexual males and females differently. I’ve sat at many dinner parties where the female guests have openly admitted to same sex attractions or experiences, but a man doing the same is simply not the norm. While a woman might receive a nod of approval, a bisexual man can still generate a stunned silence and a quick skip to the next course.

We may have relaxed about out-and-proud gay men, but guys who admit to a dabble still face the questioning stares, and whispers of “is he gay, straight or lying?" "

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10495362/Tom-Daley-Why-do-so-few-men-admit-to-being-bisexual.html

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See im orally bi both ways, but wouldnt label myself as bi on here, as it creates that facade of fully bi...

So what would people say i put mine too?

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

""Society as a whole views bisexual males and females differently. I’ve sat at many dinner parties where the female guests have openly admitted to same sex attractions or experiences, but a man doing the same is simply not the norm. While a woman might receive a nod of approval, a bisexual man can still generate a stunned silence and a quick skip to the next course.

We may have relaxed about out-and-proud gay men, but guys who admit to a dabble still face the questioning stares, and whispers of “is he gay, straight or lying?" "

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10495362/Tom-Daley-Why-do-so-few-men-admit-to-being-bisexual.html"

That's a really good read and very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK throwing this out there as well I suppose ya just gotta sometimes.

What I'm gonna list here are two experiences from the respective of a straight male.

1. around Christmas time I met a couple at a social gathering the night progressed and I was asked to join this couple at their hotel room.

She is bloody lovely, witty and smart. He's just as cool as they come and we had a right laugh so of course I was going.

Half way through that intimate time the guy says "it's a shame your not bi"

I was like "sorry dude not happening"

Even though I am as straight as they come I didn't find it off putting. Perhaps that little dom side of me kicked in, I don't mind if someone gets off watching me but I won't ever touch the guy.

2. Parked up in Scotland last night I listed a meet (nothing ever happens by the way).

Anyway I am surprised to get a message of a young couple, bi female and straight male. A messages sent back and forward and then I get

I'm parked in in the same place stoned and horny. Not !We! !i!, and yes it was just the bloke trying his luck. This is what it's like for a single guy.

I'm not drawing any conclusions here I am merely sharing experience.

Oh and incidentally those of you who think a truck driver has a girl in every town are so so so wrong, it's the complete opposite. We are predominately shunned because of what we do. I suppose if your young and built like a brick shit house it may be different. Not for us average types though.

Anyway that's my input, hope it hasn't offended anyone

Regards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse type errors, bloody predictive text lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

C. They know many females and couples avoid bi guys.

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

Well society can be very cruel and people risk losing family and friends due to being self outed on site.

I have no issues with peeps who need to be careful walking the line...

If they are embarrassed well they have to deal with it, have know a few guys who had stright on profiles then went to bi, guess they just needed time to be brave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See im orally bi both ways, but wouldnt label myself as bi on here, as it creates that facade of fully bi...

So what would people say i put mine too? "

Only you can decide that.

But I'm the same so I've put bisexual.

-Mr

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By *ock69erMan
over a year ago

Middle o’ Fife

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Nah.... Block em !!!!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Well society can be very cruel and people risk losing family and friends due to being self outed on site.

I have no issues with peeps who need to be careful walking the line...

If they are embarrassed well they have to deal with it, have know a few guys who had stright on profiles then went to bi, guess they just needed time to be brave

The cruelty of society is preserved by a mass wave of hypocrisy. Studies repeatedly shoe that 60-70% married people are unfaithful yet swinging is still scorned upon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See im orally bi both ways, but wouldnt label myself as bi on here, as it creates that facade of fully bi...

So what would people say i put mine too?

Only you can decide that.

But I'm the same so I've put bisexual.

-Mr "

I find this really interesting - I'm also the same, ok to indulge in a little bi play if it occurs - but nothing more than oral - and I'm fine if it's not on the table. So I've 'labelled' myself as straight , but then explained in more detail in my actual profile.

OP - would you think I was lying if i'd messaged you? Interested to hear what people think!

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By *ock69erMan
over a year ago

Middle o’ Fife

"I'd go with

Yep, that too... Block em !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

We think it is A

There are so many profiles here of single men stating that they are straight. One only has to glance to see that they seek TV/TS and/or have verifications from them. How any man can claim to be straight when they have sex with other men is completly beyond our understanding. We have heard of fab-straight. Surely, that is absolute nonsense

So it must be that they are ashamed or C: delusional

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See im orally bi both ways, but wouldnt label myself as bi on here, as it creates that facade of fully bi...

So what would people say i put mine too? "

If you suck another man's cock or another man sucks yours, then you are homosexual. If you then also have sex with women, that makes you bisexual. It is not partical physics to understand that

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well society can be very cruel and people risk losing family and friends due to being self outed on site.

I have no issues with peeps who need to be careful walking the line...

If they are embarrassed well they have to deal with it, have know a few guys who had stright on profiles then went to bi, guess they just needed time to be brave

The cruelty of society is preserved by a mass wave of hypocrisy. Studies repeatedly shoe that 60-70% married people are unfaithful yet swinging is still scorned upon. "

That's the frustrating thing. I can almost deal with wider society not understanding bisexuality. But I thought swingers would be different, in my distant and naive past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well society can be very cruel and people risk losing family and friends due to being self outed on site.

I have no issues with peeps who need to be careful walking the line...

If they are embarrassed well they have to deal with it, have know a few guys who had stright on profiles then went to bi, guess they just needed time to be brave

The cruelty of society is preserved by a mass wave of hypocrisy. Studies repeatedly shoe that 60-70% married people are unfaithful yet swinging is still scorned upon.

That's the frustrating thing. I can almost deal with wider society not understanding bisexuality. But I thought swingers would be different, in my distant and naive past. "

And that makes it even more frustrating. Who on earth has the right to judge anyone. So let us all be honest

We, like others, have preferences: bi or straight couples; no preference either way. Single bi or straight women; would prefer a single bi woman although a straight woman is equally desired. Straight single man

The first two, in our limited experience, are completely honest about themselves. For the third, one has to play detective. Almost wants us to give up on single men here

- Mrs. J -

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Ah, you mean 'Fab' straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally do not meet guys who have 'straight' on their profile. Tonight I made an exception - he seemed genuine and had verifications from females so I thought why not give him a try? He told me he was jumping into the shower then coming straight over.

As far as I can tell he is still in the shower...

I think there is a third (or fourth) category. Guys who really are straight but who like wank over the thought of meeting a TV or CD, to the point where they make plans to meet, but have no intention of actually meeting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never understood why it mattered so much to people, if they say there straight and talk to guys who cares? And why would it put you off clearly he'd be bi as to why he's talking to you , but to say it'd put you off hmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd go with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never understood why it mattered so much to people, if they say there straight and talk to guys who cares? And why would it put you off clearly he'd be bi as to why he's talking to you , but to say it'd put you off hmmm

Because of experience gathered the hard way fella.

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By *ob the builder2010Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Sex is sex wether it with a man or a woman it's all sex enjoy it. "
ahah wtf what ever you stick up your arse up to you. Mine just a one way system

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By *ob the builder2010Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"
You always get people like that. I've got BI mates GAY talk to them and there just straight to be fair. I don't care. People are so shallow

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Fab straight? Lol

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By *retend_Shy_GuyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

My profile used to say 'bi curious' which I am. Just that, curious but no experience. However I was constantly messaged from guys wanting to "bust my cherry" or come and "use me". Um no!

It was a massive eye opener for me to the extent that guys go too and the harshness of their messages and temper tantrums afterwards.

So now I am marked as straight purely for peace, when I see a couple I want to experiment with I explain my story.

Still waiting to find Mr&Mrs right though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See im orally bi both ways, but wouldnt label myself as bi on here, as it creates that facade of fully bi...

So what would people say i put mine too?

Only you can decide that.

But I'm the same so I've put bisexual.

-Mr

OP - would you think I was lying if i'd messaged you? Interested to hear what people think!"

we wouldn't even read it...

get message from single man...

look at profile before reading message...

see it says straight...

delete message without reading either message or profile...

...saves a lot of time in the long run

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

I have a girlfriend (fellow fabber) who won't meet men who say they are bi.. She says she has no problem with anyone's sexuality but when it comes to sexual contact with her, she can't get over the fact that a guy is/was/could be playing with another man. She is a just one! Plenty out there think the same!

Unfortunately, women's bi-ness is celebrated and encouraged by society. Men, it's still got a very negative stigma attached to it- even on a site like this. So a little bit of understanding..it's just a tick box..all you have to do is ask.

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

I just think people are too harsh- it's a swinging site. You should be able to have sex with whatever gender or orientation you want, once you've made contact etc.

Some days I want to be with a woman, some a man. Why can't men be allowed that discretion too?

If you are open to same sex activity you should say you are bi or bi curious. That doesn't mean that every time you play you will play with someone of the same sex.

Nice reply...and truth in your words mr..

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

And I am sure if a single female who has straight on her profile, contacted a couple because she was curious and interested in playing with them both, she wouldn't be so harshly judged. Doubt you would delete her profile without engaging in a conversation with her.

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting posts but im dubious if anyone here is 100% straight! Denial.com!!

Im fab-straightish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And I am sure if a single female who has straight on her profile, contacted a couple because she was curious and interested in playing with them both, she wouldn't be so harshly judged. Doubt you would delete her profile without engaging in a conversation with her.

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

our response would be and has been exactly the same if a single straight female contacts us...they're not what we're interested in so we just delete...straight couples, exactly the same...

we're not mind readers nor are we here to perform some kind of public service, teasing out of people what exactly it is they're looking for because they're unable or unwilling to be up front about why they're here...we get along quite nicely with the people who make it easy to see that we may be compatible from the start...

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Interesting posts but im dubious if anyone here is 100% straight! Denial.com!!

Im fab-straightish!"

Seems strange that a place for perceived sexual liberation and freedoms has so many rules of engagement.....its as if fab has been infiltrated by.....a unnamed as yet new religious cult..

Lets end the cults reign and go back to basics...

Fab...come have fun explore, grow and forget societys silly bickering...freedom is here, have not signed up here for societys halo vigilantes to have a pop at omg those people ....

the bi folk.....pitch forks ready...

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

Yes but they are not sending you subliminal messages hoping you would read their mind. This is person is making contact, what's wrong with discussing what you're both looking for without getting hung up on a tick box?

What's the difference if the guy ticked bisexual and he's lying? This is just as likely. Whatever they've labelled themselves you won't know if they're for you until you chat to the person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting posts but im dubious if anyone here is 100% straight! Denial.com!!

Im fab-straightish!"

You can be as dubious as you like but be honest at the same time and not contact lying sods like us who only want to meet a straight single man. Then everyone is happy

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not harsh but the guy may not be out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been messaged by loads of guys who say on their profile that they're straight but want to play with the hubby, it's funny as when you do the back search on verifications to see who've they've met, some couples and women have clearly stated that they won't meet bi men, but they unknowingly have

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"Not harsh but the guy may not be out "

We are not out in the sense that our family and friends don't know we swing

If you are prepared to say you are a swinger on this site what's the issue with saying you are bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not harsh but the guy may not be out

We are not out in the sense that our family and friends don't know we swing

If you are prepared to say you are a swinger on this site what's the issue with saying you are bi. "

Bi guys are seen as a higher risk (sti), I know, crazy right?

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

"Not harsh but the guy may not be out

We are not out in the sense that our family and friends don't know we swing

If you are prepared to say you are a swinger on this site what's the issue with saying you are bi. "

Because you don't necessarily join this site at the end of your sexual self discovery journey- some are just starting it. It doesn't state in the terms that you have to know exactly what you want when you fill in your profile. Like I said earlier, a guy could say he's bi, this has as much worth as him saying he's not. You won't know what they want or are willing to do until you talk.

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By *van ArdenMan
over a year ago

Coleford, Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire.

I think people should be honest about themselves if they are serious about meeting other people.

I am bisexual and my life is very fulfilled as I have enjoyed meets with both men and women. The ideal scenario for me is a meet with a bi couple (MMF)

One thing I have found is that when I'm camming in the chat room and I'm on webcam I get lots of interest from "straight" guys.

I am not put off by such interest but a little surprised at the attention given me by "straight " guys.

I enjoy the attention ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

We're here to have fun, not provide a charitable service.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post seems to of missed the many couples who say thet are both straight and then connect with bi women ,bi couples and bi men and the straight men who want to be sucked off all the time by other straight men.personally i think so no one feels they have to be Judged; there should be an option for people to leave it blank= so others can mind their own business as they have no idea how hard it is for people who are confused about sexuality to say what they are or sometimes even who they are sexually .

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

We're here to have fun, not provide a charitable service. "

Wow- talking to a single guy as a regular person without judging his choice of label is charity? Nice

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

"This post seems to of missed the many couples who say thet are both straight and then connect with bi women ,bi couples and bi men and the straight men who want to be sucked off all the time by other straight men.personally i think so no one feels they have to be Judged; there should be an option for people to leave it blank= so others can mind their own business as they have no idea how hard it is for people who are confused about sexuality to say what they are or sometimes even who they are sexually ."

Yes

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Oxymoron

personally i think so no one feels they have to be Judged; there should be an option for people to leave it blank= so others can mind their own business as they have no idea how hard it is for people who are confused about sexuality to say what they are or sometimes even who they are sexually ."

Maybe they should think of the box as describing who they want to meet more than describing themselves then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

We're here to have fun, not provide a charitable service. "

And nobody should be judged for their sexuality but by the same token they should not question other people's preferences either

We want to meet bi and straight couples and single women. We want to meet single men who are straight and that means they don't have sex with other men, TV/TS

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

You have your "evil conniving single male" goggles on when you are reading messages from "straight" men interested in bi play. Take them off and talk to the PERSON.

We're here to have fun, not provide a charitable service.

Wow- talking to a single guy as a regular person without judging his choice of label is charity? Nice

Usually their choice of label is intended to be deceitful. It's supply and demand really, plenty of hot single guys who aren't confused and will admit to a fondness for cock. Why waste time with those who are going to have a emotional crisis over a spontaneous finger up the bum? - they can contact us when they are confident in themselves.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

If they are contacting you and clearly saying they are interested in bi play, seriously what IS the big deal that they haven't ticked that in their profile? Why are you giving that so much importance? People sometimes meet outside their specified age range, do we block them too because they said up to 30yrs and you're 32? Something they could have chosen when they joined ages before!!

I myself have chatted to couples and completely forgot that I had left it as Straight- from over 2 yrs ago. Only remembered when I saw a similar thread.. All the couples still spoke to me though. Why can't a single male be afforded the same respect? Yeah there are tons of deceitful people on here, whether they say straight/bi/whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

which reminds me orally bi and analy bi or both should each be represented

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

To get access to the women...

sounds like your running a meat market.

very strange terminology

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

There isn't the same stigma around age as their is bisexuality. The point is that those of us who are honest get stigma largely because most people who are bi don't have the balls to admit it. If every man who frequently sucked dick put his profile as bi then the stimga would reduce dramatically because a lot of the profile saying "no bi men" would quickly run out of genuine straight men to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Not harsh enough in my book

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

[Removed by poster at 18/05/17 09:31:34]

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

And bashing/deleting/blocking a male who's interested in sucking your partner's dick but has for whatever reason left his profile as 'straight' is helping this cause towards openness and acceptance?

Age doesn't have the same stigma, but you missed the point- people fill out all different options when they join, what's the big deal if they veer off? Where does it say in the terms "you must only abide by what you have stated in your profile, it's set in stone, and you're not allowed anything else!"

Why so hung up on a silly internet label that HARDLY covers the plethora of fluid sexualities out there!? Someone messages you for bi play, talk, see if you match.

Otherwise to all you men out there, better change your profiles to bi to cover all bases!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

And bashing/deleting/blocking a male who's interested in sucking your partner's dick but has for whatever reason left his profile as 'straight' is helping this cause towards openness and acceptance?

Why so hung up on a silly internet label that HARDLY covers the plethora of fluid sexualities out there!? Someone messages you for bi play, talk, see if you match.

Otherwise to all you men out there, better change your profiles to bi to cover all bases! "

Honesty is an intermediate step to openess and acceptance, yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would I want to even consider meeting someone whose introduces themselves with lie

Why would I want to even consider meeting anyone whose profile information preclude people of my sexuality and proclivity from finding them during compatibility searches and who display sexuality and preference that discourages people like me from welcome to approach them....

I'm far to old to trust people who lie or attempt to make excuses as their reasons for doing so.... If I can't trust the label I sure as fuck ain't going to waste my time trusting the person ...

The site provides all members with all the options required to protect their discretion and anonymity without needing to resort to displaying dishonest, prejudicial or misleading profile content ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but they're not...they send the usual generic shite...hi, how are you/nice tits/great pics/...it usually takes about 4 clear rejection messages until the now apparently bi guy then claims he once wanted a bloke off or thought about sucking a cock once while pissed...by that time, it's tiresome and frankly boring...

if you have the time and inclination to tease out what someone wants through all of that, then you crack on, sweet pea...we'll be making arrangements to meet up with people who make it easy to identify some kind of compatibility...much more our idea of fun...

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By *retend_Shy_GuyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Ok, I'll run an experiment. I am actually bi curious but marked as straight for the reasons mentioned previously. I will change my profile now to bi curious and I will count the number of offensive guys who message me. I'll be back soon with an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, I'll run an experiment. I am actually bi curious but marked as straight for the reasons mentioned previously. I will change my profile now to bi curious and I will count the number of offensive guys who message me. I'll be back soon with an answer."

Best of luck but don't treat yourself like a lab rat......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?

Exactly!

I doubt she'd be labelled a sneaky lying shit because it's sexy and acceptable for a 'straight' woman to have an experimental side at times. For a guy it's underhand and deceitful .... "

Exactly! I'm straight but will play with ladies, if they're about and the mood is right. I'm certainly not bisexual, and don't 'fancy' women, though.

Maybe I'm just a weasly sneaky lying shit?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

So to summarise it appears that guys who say they are straight but are open to same-sex activities might not say they are bi for the following reasons.

1. They are afraid of the stigma that comes with being openly bi.

2. They think saying they are bi might lessen their chances with women and couples.

3. They have issues coming to terms with their sexuality

4. They don't believe in limiting labels like bi and straight.

5. Whilst they will engage in same sex activities their primary attractions is to women

6. They are not really attracted to same sex activity but are willing to tolerate it if it means they get to have sex with a woman.

We wouldn't be agin meeting someone in categories 4 and 5 but we would expect some explanation in your profile. Otherwise saying you are straight just misleads.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"So to summarise it appears that guys who say they are straight but are open to same-sex activities might not say they are bi for the following reasons.

1. They are afraid of the stigma that comes with being openly bi.

2. They think saying they are bi might lessen their chances with women and couples.

3. They have issues coming to terms with their sexuality

4. They don't believe in limiting labels like bi and straight.

5. Whilst they will engage in same sex activities their primary attractions is to women

6. They are not really attracted to same sex activity but are willing to tolerate it if it means they get to have sex with a woman.

We wouldn't be agin meeting someone in categories 4 and 5 but we would expect some explanation in your profile. Otherwise saying you are straight just misleads. "

All but 5 are a write-off for us

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By *retend_Shy_GuyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So to summarise it appears that guys who say they are straight but are open to same-sex activities might not say they are bi for the following reasons.

1. They are afraid of the stigma that comes with being openly bi.

2. They think saying they are bi might lessen their chances with women and couples.

3. They have issues coming to terms with their sexuality

4. They don't believe in limiting labels like bi and straight.

5. Whilst they will engage in same sex activities their primary attractions is to women

6. They are not really attracted to same sex activity but are willing to tolerate it if it means they get to have sex with a woman.

We wouldn't be agin meeting someone in categories 4 and 5 but we would expect some explanation in your profile. Otherwise saying you are straight just misleads. "

7. They ARE in fact bi curious but sick of constant abuse from guys wanting to 'burst my cherry'. No thanks. Mark as straight and explain in a message.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"So to summarise it appears that guys who say they are straight but are open to same-sex activities might not say they are bi for the following reasons.

1. They are afraid of the stigma that comes with being openly bi.

2. They think saying they are bi might lessen their chances with women and couples.

3. They have issues coming to terms with their sexuality

4. They don't believe in limiting labels like bi and straight.

5. Whilst they will engage in same sex activities their primary attractions is to women

6. They are not really attracted to same sex activity but are willing to tolerate it if it means they get to have sex with a woman.

We wouldn't be agin meeting someone in categories 4 and 5 but we would expect some explanation in your profile. Otherwise saying you are straight just misleads.

7. They ARE in fact bi curious but sick of constant abuse from guys wanting to 'burst my cherry'. No thanks. Mark as straight and explain in a message."

Just ignore messages you don't like. Simples.

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By *ockman3858Man
over a year ago

didcot

I just put on my profile that I am bi don't see the point to say I am straight x

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

Firstly there is no need to patronise me "sweet pea". Secondly, nowhere in any of my posts did I say it was ok to engage with generic timewasting messages from users. By all means delete as soon as you see the words tits! The debate is about whether a male should be deleted/blocked if they contact you for bi play when profile says straight.

The OP has summarised brilliantly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too people who try and defend the view labels aren't important ......

An honest label is infinitely more important compared to intentionally dishonest labels intended to misleading whoever reads it.....

I'm far too experienced in life to trust liars or tolerate the defence of telling lies...

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Too people who try and defend the view labels aren't important ......

An honest label is infinitely more important compared to intentionally dishonest labels intended to misleading whoever reads it.....

I'm far too experienced in life to trust liars or tolerate the defence of telling lies... "

Aren't all words labels? Questioning the importance of labels seems to be the same as questioning the importance of words unless I'm missing something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too people who try and defend the view labels aren't important ......

An honest label is infinitely more important compared to intentionally dishonest labels intended to misleading whoever reads it.....

I'm far too experienced in life to trust liars or tolerate the defence of telling lies...

Aren't all words labels? Questioning the importance of labels seems to be the same as questioning the importance of words unless I'm missing something? "

The simple answer to that is no... not all words are labels ...and a dishonest label has no value at all other than identifying intention to deceive..

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"Too people who try and defend the view labels aren't important ......

An honest label is infinitely more important compared to intentionally dishonest labels intended to misleading whoever reads it.....

I'm far too experienced in life to trust liars or tolerate the defence of telling lies...

Aren't all words labels? Questioning the importance of labels seems to be the same as questioning the importance of words unless I'm missing something? "

I think you can validly argue that of the categories available on here re sexuality none properly apply to you. However, I think that's a bit precious. We all know that saying you are bi or bi curious on here means you are open to same-sex activities and saying you are straight means you are not.

When you participate in a community you have to accept words in the sense in which the community use them otherwise you can't participate. Saying on here the terms bi or straight don't apply to you is a bit liking being a footballer and when asked if you are a forward, a defender or whatever saying that you don't accept the use of terms like that don't apply to you. People will have no fucking idea where you play and hence will not give you a game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not harsh but the guy may not be out

We are not out in the sense that our family and friends don't know we swing

If you are prepared to say you are a swinger on this site what's the issue with saying you are bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's your profile, do you what you like, but your reasons for putting straight don't make a lot of sense to us. Good luck luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree and the football analogy probably explains David Moyes managerial limitations ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?

Exactly!

I doubt she'd be labelled a sneaky lying shit because it's sexy and acceptable for a 'straight' woman to have an experimental side at times. For a guy it's underhand and deceitful ....

Exactly! I'm straight but will play with ladies, if they're about and the mood is right. I'm certainly not bisexual, and don't 'fancy' women, though.

Maybe I'm just a weasly sneaky lying shit?"

No, just confusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sexuality isn't listed in the profile options. The options are too limited. Maybe that is an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sexuality isn't listed in the profile options. The options are too limited. Maybe that is an issue. "

Same here. But we choose the best option so others can make an informed choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sexuality isn't listed in the profile options. The options are too limited. Maybe that is an issue. "

Does your sexual activity involve repeated sexual engagement with males and females ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The amount of guys that message me is un-real. I have that I am bi-curious (not bisexual, cause there is a big difference), and happy to play with both in a couple scenario but not MM.

I totally agree. I'm down as bi-curious as I am. I would love the opportunity to play with a couple and try and discover my bi sexuality.

I tend to find (probably because of time wasters). That couples don't seam to want to try as I have no experience. I'm trying to be honest say what I like the sound of etc.

But all I get is men

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By *tothetMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

Happy to display as bi as if I am not going to be accepted for who I am then don't want to meet them, not that I can afford to be picky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I considered myself straight, and was reasonably successful at getting meets with couples from here. I had a meet with a couple where the guy was bi but said he would play straight so all was going swimmingly, I was on my back getting a blow job and when I looked down it was from him and she was watching. Far from being alarmed I found the experience very horny and wanting to repeat it I changed my profile to bi curious.

Since then, I have managed two meets in three years! I resort to going to bi sessions in clubs for my bi mmf now.

I get plenty of messages from guys but messages to couples are generally just deleted so I don't even bother sending messages most of the time so for me opening up about enjoying bi mmf has been a negative step and not a positive one.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"My sexuality isn't listed in the profile options. The options are too limited. Maybe that is an issue.

Same here. But we choose the best option so others can make an informed choice. "

Same as us. But bi is nearest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol IF I was bi and woman didn't want want to fuck because of it I wouldn't tell her, I'd fuck her and wouldn't tell her after, it wouldn't be a problem to me If a woman said to me she's bi I'd still fuck.

Nobody has to disclose there sexuality just to make you comfortable.

Men please don't message me I like pussy

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By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne

That response puts us right off as it suggests either

A. They think there is something shameful about being bi hence the need to be "discreet" or

B. They are lying about being bi to get access to the woman.

Too harsh? "

Get so called straight guys msg me all the time ,and when I.point out it says straight on there profile ,the excuses are plenty ,but most common is I don't want to put of woman or they have mates here ,so it's ok for them to know your a swinger ,but heaven forbid they know your bi ,I rest my case lol

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"lol IF I was bi and woman didn't want want to fuck because of it I wouldn't tell her, I'd fuck her and wouldn't tell her after, it wouldn't be a problem to me If a woman said to me she's bi I'd still fuck.

Nobody has to disclose there sexuality just to make you comfortable.

Men please don't message me I like pussy

Obviously people have an absolute right to say what they like about their sexuality. Just as we have an absolute right to not meet people who are dishonest about their sexuality.

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By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne

Nobody has to disclose there sexuality just to make you comfortable.

Men please don't message me I like pussy

Obviously people have an absolute right to say what they like about their sexuality. Just as we have an absolute right to not meet people who are dishonest about their sexuality. "

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

Nobody has to disclose there sexuality just to make you comfortable.

Men please don't message me I like pussy

Obviously people have an absolute right to say what they like about their sexuality. Just as we have an absolute right to not meet people who are dishonest about their sexuality. "

just don't understand the need to go to such extremes and call it "lies" "dishonest" etc.

How can you be so judgemental in calling them dishonest about their sexuality just because they don't match how you'd like to label yourself?

Why always reply in such defensive manner? Yeah my profile says straight but this morning I'm curious about cock, so?

It seems it's better for everyone to just lie and put the most encompassing label (bisexual) that way they are allowed to say I do want to play with a man or I don't without being accused of being a villain..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing better about telling lies when the truth is so much more respectful trustworthy and accurate....

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

"There is nothing better about telling lies when the truth is so much more respectful trustworthy and accurate....

Yes but why are we judging a lie by a tick box rather than asking the person. I wouldn't take a profile label as a more accurate truth than what the person is saying to me! This is what it's coming across from some, that even if the person tells you they're interested in bi play we can't believe them because whats on their profile as holy?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Nobody has to disclose there sexuality just to make you comfortable.

Men please don't message me I like pussy

Obviously people have an absolute right to say what they like about their sexuality. Just as we have an absolute right to not meet people who are dishonest about their sexuality.

just don't understand the need to go to such extremes and call it "lies" "dishonest" etc.

How can you be so judgemental in calling them dishonest about their sexuality just because they don't match how you'd like to label yourself?

Why always reply in such defensive manner? Yeah my profile says straight but this morning I'm curious about cock, so?

If you are happy to play with people of the same sex then, yes, it helps everyone if you call yourself bi or bi curious. To do otherwise leads to confusion and suspicions of dishonesty.

To reiterate, you can call yourself what you like. But we can equally suspect dishonesty when what people say to us doesn't seem consistent with what they say on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a bi man it took me years to finally accept and love who I am.

On my journey, i struggled to understand my feelings and emotions and labelled myself straight whilst exploring what really turned me on.

Trying not to like guys was tough. It was torment and I hated myself for a while. I just wanted to be 'normal'.

Even now, I'm not publicly bisexual as it's viewed with suspicion. Quite frankly some people think you are a threat to everything that moves!

Unless you have ridden this rollercoaster of hateful emotions, please don't judge those who are still exploring.

Not everyone is a seasoned swinger or sexually confident.

By all means have your own rules but vilifying people on here just for their inability to pigeonhole themselves is unacceptable.

Swinging should be all about free love, sharing sexual adventures and exploring horizons.

Play nicely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is nothing better about telling lies when the truth is so much more respectful trustworthy and accurate....

I'm afraid at my age and life experience I reserve the right to dismiss any defence of behaviour intended to deceive,,,,,

But if you feel tolerant towards individuals who intentionally disrespect others site member by reducing their option to gain the benefits of site functions which are intended to work with equal fairness for all members I'll just wish you good luck with that and good luck in life.......

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"As a bi man it took me years to finally accept and love who I am.

On my journey, i struggled to understand my feelings and emotions and labelled myself straight whilst exploring what really turned me on.

Trying not to like guys was tough. It was torment and I hated myself for a while. I just wanted to be 'normal'.

Even now, I'm not publicly bisexual as it's viewed with suspicion. Quite frankly some people think you are a threat to everything that moves!

Unless you have ridden this rollercoaster of hateful emotions, please don't judge those who are still exploring.

Not everyone is a seasoned swinger or sexually confident.

By all means have your own rules but vilifying people on here just for their inability to pigeonhole themselves is unacceptable.

Swinging should be all about free love, sharing sexual adventures and exploring horizons.

Play nicely.

We have entire sympathy with what you say and we are not vilifying anyone. However the harsh reality is that we are looking for casual sexual encounters that are fun for all concerned. That's unlikely to happen, in our view, with people who have issues with their sexuality of the type you describe. It may also be the case that swinging is not the wisest thing for them to do.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

"There is nothing better about telling lies when the truth is so much more respectful trustworthy and accurate....

I'm afraid at my age and life experience I reserve the right to dismiss any defence of behaviour intended to deceive,,,,,

Where did I say I was tolerant of deceitful people? All I'm saying again and again is why assume a person is lying simply because they could have a genuine reason for not changing this darn label. I have met with couples over the years and it's only been JUST in the last month that I noticed my profile says straight. Completely forgot about it since 2012! There are liars and such, but sometimes there is a genuine explanation and no need to assume the worse. People met me because they asked me what I was looking for and I told them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'...on a swingers site no one is going to victimise you...'quote]

I'm not sure I agree with you. Some guy on here a while ago, updated his status with 'is this a gay site now?!' and more recently in a discussion about the difference between TG/TS and CDs, someone remarked that 'they'll all be over here from fabguys soon'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is nothing better about telling lies when the truth is so much more respectful trustworthy and accurate....

I'm afraid at my age and life experience I reserve the right to dismiss any defence of behaviour intended to deceive,,,,,

I agree there will be occasional situations where a genuine explanation does exist but I'm certainly not in a position where I need to compromise my expectations on some remote chance I'm being approached by an honest individual who fails to deliver a rational or believable excuse that warrants me trusting what might otherwise be a lie....

We are all accountable for our actions and inactions

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

We are all accountable for our actions and inactions

Except the bi label could be a lie..not all people who declare it are honest individuals. Either way, you will know for sure when you engage beyond the initial profile check..

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By *lfretonguyMan
over a year ago

back in derby

I'm openly bi my closet friends know never had a problem the problem is admitting it and the other is the stigma around us bi men on site like this is that you will go with anything which is definitely not the case on my part xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let me ask this. If a woman says she's straight, but isnt. And on occasions like to play with couples and women- what do people think of that? Because that's essentially the same?

Exactly!

I doubt she'd be labelled a sneaky lying shit because it's sexy and acceptable for a 'straight' woman to have an experimental side at times. For a guy it's underhand and deceitful ....

Exactly! I'm straight but will play with ladies, if they're about and the mood is right. I'm certainly not bisexual, and don't 'fancy' women, though.

Maybe I'm just a weasly sneaky lying shit?"

I haven't said that but we also wouldn't consider meeting you, answering any message or entering into dialogue because we'd see you listed as straight, wouldn't read your profile and would delete any message from you unread. it would be a waste of our time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all accountable for our actions and inactions

Except the bi label could be a lie..not all people who declare it are honest individuals. Either way, you will know for sure when you engage beyond the initial profile check.."

I don't waste my time engaging with anyone with profiles that are inconstant with their messages....

For instance if a guy claims to be straight on his profile he get a no thanks..

Only when a guys profile says he is bisexual /bi curious can we establish our sexual preferences are potentially compatible and mutually appealing to the point where a scenario exists of a meet taking place....

I'm not here to play mind games or waste my time trying to access the sort of up-front information I expect to be provided by anyone hoping to get an invite into my home for sex..

As in all life situations there is no defence for lying and no excuse for providing misleading information that qualifies as a genuine reason..

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I'd go with

I think that's extremely well put ... unfortunately we live in a society that still doesn't accept everyone for who they are depending on their sex

And when it comes to sexual preference to be a Bi woman it's deemed as 'hot' by majority of men and women but to be a Bi man it's not as socially acceptable

TBH in the right atmosphere even the most 'straight' guys have been a tad Bi curious and that can be extremely hot

Can't blame them for not publicly showing but if they contact a bi couple and they seem genuine then could be a great meet

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