FabSwingers.com forum: Message demands

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Noticed a lot of profiles have a very strict first message me rule for example:

You will be blocked/ignored if you message me saying hi/how are you/what are looking for on fab...

and in the next breath the demands are ironically hypocritical..

Do not send me rude/illicit/nude pics/ ask me for a quick fuck/ can you meet tonight

What do these ppl want? And i imagine for folk new to fab it can be rather off putting.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for. "

Exactly. Plus people don't take any notice anyway. The people who do the shit messages just keep on doing them, or those demanding profiles attract people with low self worth/esteem. And people with high self worth just move on.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive. "

Both spot on.. there are some lovely profiles to look at, but once you start reading the attitude is so off putting, we all have to filter through the rough stuff..but every now and then you come across a great meet, and generally its starts with a "Hi, how are you"

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i think if people have detailed profiles then it's ok to not put that much effort into a first message. problem is a lot of guys do not have such a profile, so you're basically risking starting a conversation with someone not knowing whether you're actually compatible.

and of course when many guys are filling your inbox, why would you bother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Noticed a lot of profiles have a very strict first message me rule for example:

You will be blocked/ignored if you message me saying hi/how are you/what are looking for on fab...

and in the next breath the demands are ironically hypocritical..

Do not send me rude/illicit/nude pics/ ask me for a quick fuck/ can you meet tonight

What do these ppl want? And i imagine for folk new to fab it can be rather off putting.

I just use it as a filter so block and move on. Their loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Noticed a lot of profiles have a very strict first message me rule for example:

You will be blocked/ignored if you message me saying hi/how are you/what are looking for on fab...

and in the next breath the demands are ironically hypocritical..

Do not send me rude/illicit/nude pics/ ask me for a quick fuck/ can you meet tonight

What do these ppl want? And i imagine for folk new to fab it can be rather off putting.

too demanding. ignore

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I wouldnt even bother mailing. I just want a shag not an afternoon getting an earful off Victor Meldrew

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldnt even bother mailing. I just want a shag not an afternoon getting an earful off Victor Meldrew"

Well put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt even bother mailing. I just want a shag not an afternoon getting an earful off Victor Meldrew"

Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a couple of people in my area who i am very attracted to. But after reading the bio I decided I'd rather do without.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to be very accurate about what you want and honest

However many people take a list of likes/dislikes as a series of demands which they view negatively.

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

messages like people come in all shapes and sizes some short some long what a boring life if we were all the same enjoy the site and swinging is about freedom to be different so stop the hang ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't time for the aggressive profiles. I pass them by.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"I think you need to be very accurate about what you want and honest

However many people take a list of likes/dislikes as a series of demands which they view negatively. "

especially if the person viewing cannot meet the 'demands'.

how hard is it really not to send dick/nude pics, not to outright ask for a fuck, not expect an instant meet from someone you have never interacted with before and oyu don't even know if they will fancy you or be repulsed by said acts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever joined Fab we promised ourselves not to do that in our profile. Within 6 months we did. It was the only way to stop the crap. It's worked to. That and filters. We figure we are only going to put off those we would have no interest in anyway.

Mrs

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Do not send me rude/illicit/nude pics/ ask me for a quick fuck/ can you meet tonight"

if a guy if find unattractive does any of these things his status goes from unattractive to repulsive/vomit inducing. that's just how my brain works.

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Yep there's a fine line between being direct and sounding arrogant, unsexy

Lots of physically attractive people I will never message because they don't sound or come across very nice. No interest in meeting a megalomaniac

I'm a bit weird for a guy on here I always read people's profile and then decide whether to message them or not. It's more than the initial attraction of a picture for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you need to be very accurate about what you want and honest

However many people take a list of likes/dislikes as a series of demands which they view negatively.

especially if the person viewing cannot meet the 'demands'.

I agree with this completely.

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

I've got a bit on my profile saying I won't respond to profiles that say 'How's you?' and yet I reckon about 80% of messages only say that, or a variation on it. It doesn't seem to have made any difference but it's handy for letting me know who's read the profile

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"I think you need to be very accurate about what you want and honest

However many people take a list of likes/dislikes as a series of demands which they view negatively.

especially if the person viewing cannot meet the 'demands'.

I agree with this completely."

I agree I don't really get the whole here's my talking dick pic thing

Guys don't really have much to hide so feels weird to put it all out in people's faces right away even unsolicited lol

Much prefer it to be part of the chat and build up or a surprise during the meet.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've never had an issue with receiving certain messages.

I can understand why people do the demands things but quite often it comes across as negative and unattractive to me so not just off putting to those new.

I agree with a couple of points above - I think it's quite often out of frustration and if it works for them, it works.

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Ah u get used to it....

Most of my messages get a straight delete

God knows what they actually are looking for

Anyway keep plugging away one day somebody will actually chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also feel by stating what we don't want or what we do want, mean that we cannot be accused of being rude if we don't reply to a message from someone who has chosen to ignore us. And at least we are giving people the option of not wasting their time by sending a message. I don't believe we have missed out on fun by doing this.

Mrs

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration."

Have we talked before ??

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I've got a bit on my profile saying I won't respond to profiles that say 'How's you?' and yet I reckon about 80% of messages only say that, or a variation on it. It doesn't seem to have made any difference but it's handy for letting me know who's read the profile"

To add to my point above, I'd raher spend 4 times as long replying to different messages than the time it takes me to reply 'I'm fine thanks' to all the 'How's you?' ones.

Experience also tells me that the conversation that follows tends to be pretty tedious and has the same patter:

Them - 'How's you?'

Me - 'I'm fine thanks'

Them - 'What you up to?'

Me - 'I'm just browsing the net and checking out fab'

Them - 'What you wearing?'

Aaaarrrgghhhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike the tone of my profile, but it does seem to cut out some of the timewasters. It does also attract direct people, which I prefer. May rewrite when I feel fluffy and monitor the difference in traffic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

Have we talked before ?? "

Don't think so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always find it a little annoying when a beautiful lady has a really negative profile. I know we wouldn't get on so I don't bother with them.

I want to attract the right people for me. To do that I need a positive profile that best shows off my internets rather then what I'm looking for in a first message.

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

Have we talked before ??

Don't think so?"

Me either but I seen your pic and thought mm cutie... clicked and got a "can't view this profile"

I've never been blocked and don't know you so not sure what gremlins are at work!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

Have we talked before ??

Don't think so?

Me either but I seen your pic and thought mm cutie... clicked and got a "can't view this profile"

I've never been blocked and don't know you so not sure what gremlins are at work!!!

It's entirely possible we blocked, we do so indiscriminately

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

Have we talked before ??

Don't think so?

Me either but I seen your pic and thought mm cutie... clicked and got a "can't view this profile"

I've never been blocked and don't know you so not sure what gremlins are at work!!!

It's entirely possible we blocked, we do so indiscriminately"

aw that's a shame.. I shall just admire your profile picture from afar

At least it wasn't something I said

all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration."

Further to that, for us, people who get easily frustrated with stuff like that aren't going to be a great match for us anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldnt even bother mailing. I just want a shag not an afternoon getting an earful off Victor Meldrew"

I DONT BELIVE IT!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Noticed a lot of profiles have a very strict first message me rule for example:

You will be blocked/ignored if you message me saying hi/how are you/what are looking for on fab...

and in the next breath the demands are ironically hypocritical..

Do not send me rude/illicit/nude pics/ ask me for a quick fuck/ can you meet tonight

What do these ppl want? And i imagine for folk new to fab it can be rather off putting.

They want exactly what they say.

We're sometimes tempted to write a completely negative profile but its so obvious that people rarely read the one we have that we know there's little point.

I think everyone has to realise that if a person or people are doing things you don't like be it writing ranty profiles or sending rubbish messages it simply means youre incompatible with each other. Imagine if they realised their behaviour was off putting and you didn't find out their true self until you met them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a symptom of their frustration at receiving a huge number of shit messages. Trouble is, that sort of attitude puts people off who otherwise might have been exactly who they are looking for.

We can also understand people's frustration but it's counter productive.

Got to agree with both.

It really is a waste of time ranting about it, and off putting.

Particularly when the genuine folks already understand that frustration.

Further to that, for us, people who get easily frustrated with stuff like that aren't going to be a great match for us anyway. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And don't bother sending us a wink, we ignore and delete them..........

Then they wink at you

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