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A dog named sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "Id like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "Im looking for Sex..."

My court date has been set for Friday...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Genuinely new someone who called their dog 'Kill'. It was funny when it ran up to other dogs etc.. And the owner tried to call it away... The look on the other owners faces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to own a race horse called my face. He was a favourite at Ascot. It was great on ladies day to here all the posh totty supporting him in the race. All I could here was them shouting come on my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Very funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a homage to dambusters a guy I know who trains security dogs and does a really good line in obedience training. Called his Amstaff n!ger.

coz it's a big black bastard

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just saw this and had to share with all you fine people i could'nt stop laughing x kay x

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