FabSwingers.com forum: Feel like such a twat!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Feel like such a twat! I arranged a meet with someone for some NSA fun! I had never seen them before but had been talking for over a year! Finally I arranged for them to come to me, which was around 20 mins drive for them

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's just the situation you was in few years back I met a couple late night she didn't want to chat with me just wait outside and then come join in once they started getting it on I couldn't get hard so made my excuses n left !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe it's just the situation you was in few years back I met a couple late night she didn't want to chat with me just wait outside and then come join in once they started getting it on I couldn't get hard so made my excuses n left ! "

Yes i just couldn't get hard! Feel like a twat for messing them around tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men have a lot on in a new sexual situation.

You're thinking about size, technique, safety, boundaries, are you doing enough/too much/too hard/not hard enough...AND you've got to maintain an erection at the same time!

It must be bloody nerve wracking.

I find that every man alive benefits from having some blue pills in his possession. Even if you never use them, you know they're there. Sometimes that's enough. Other times, they can boost your confidence and 'buoyancy', just because you know you've taken one.

Above all, don't give yourself a hard time over not giving a lady a hard time. If she's nice, she'll understand. And beating yourself up will only put more pressure on you next time.

Maybe a social, first? To ensure there's chemistry?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Try not to feel bad, without face pics at least you weren't to know.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Feel like such a twat! I arranged a meet with someone for some NSA fun! I had never seen them before but had been talking for over a year! Finally I arranged for them to come to me, which was around 20 mins drive for them

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me! "

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You did the right thing. It would have gotten progressively more awkward the longer it went on. Fair play to you for being honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Men have a lot on in a new sexual situation.

You're thinking about size, technique, safety, boundaries, are you doing enough/too much/too hard/not hard enough...AND you've got to maintain an erection at the same time!

It must be bloody nerve wracking.

Above all, don't give yourself a hard time over not giving a lady a hard time. If she's nice, she'll understand. And beating yourself up will only put more pressure on you next time.

Maybe a social, first? To ensure there's chemistry?"

Yes I no just feel so bad about it all! To be fair they were really cool about it and were just like it can happen! I just feel like I wasted there time x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You did the right thing. It would have gotten progressively more awkward the longer it went on. Fair play to you for being honest. "

Thanks wasn't really sure what to say if to do!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

Just don't like messing people around

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yes I no just feel so bad about it all! To be fair they were really cool about it and were just like it can happen! I just feel like I wasted there time x"

You haven't wasted anyone time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try not to feel bad, without face pics at least you weren't to know."

We had seen pictures and stuff but it just didn't feel right

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

Sure we'll all have a moment like this, if he's not up for it there's not a lot you can do really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes I no just feel so bad about it all! To be fair they were really cool about it and were just like it can happen! I just feel like I wasted there time x

You haven't wasted anyone time. "

There are just so many time waster on here! Then we they get a meet I was a massive let down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being an ugly bastard I'm not often alot of the women on here's type. I finally found someone I really liked and for the life of me couldn't get hard not even after a couple of those little blue wonders (seriously regretted taking them the next day) it's just one of those things. Don't beat yourself up about it mate it just happens some times most normal well adjusted people will understand and either rearrange or chalk it down to experience.

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By *ornyone30Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

I was at a club a few years ago with a lady friend. We were playing in an open room when a couple asked us if we wanted to join them in a private room. We pared off and started to get it on but I just couldn't get hard while the other pair were going at it hard. Poor woman got nothing from me while her hubby got well fucked. I was so embarrassed. Once we left it fucked my lady friend with the hardest cock I've ever had. Go figure lol

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Try not to feel bad, without face pics at least you weren't to know.

We had seen pictures and stuff but it just didn't feel right "

Ah ok, though I know what you mean. No matter how well you get on with someone online it's meeting in the flesh that counts.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

Just don't like messing people around "

How have you done that?

This is one of the reasons we always meet for a social only first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

happens to the best of us dude, you get a bit of stage fright, or find that the chemistry doesn't quite go bang as was expected. it soon springs back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

Just don't like messing people around

How have you done that?

This is one of the reasons we always meet for a social only first."

Just feel like there loads of time wasting that goes on here without meeting someone to be a massive let down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"happens to the best of us dude, you get a bit of stage fright, or find that the chemistry doesn't quite go bang as was expected. it soon springs back

Thanks for the support

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

Just don't like messing people around

How have you done that?

This is one of the reasons we always meet for a social only first.

Just feel like there loads of time wasting that goes on here without meeting someone to be a massive let down "

The responsibility isn't yours alone. You both made assumptions about the meet that turned out to be incorrect. We have had meets where the guy couldn't get an erection, it happens. I as a woman don't think less of them or myself but I also don't go into meets expecting them to go a particular way, it puts too much pressure on us and them.

Learn and move forward.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me!

Everyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any point.

Just don't like messing people around

How have you done that?

This is one of the reasons we always meet for a social only first.

Just feel like there loads of time wasting that goes on here without meeting someone to be a massive let down

Learn and move forward.

Thanks hopefully we might pass ways sometime x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"happens to the best of us dude, you get a bit of stage fright, or find that the chemistry doesn't quite go bang as was expected. it soon springs back

Thanks for the support "

it's not just you it's happened to, really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes it's madness really, I'm hard as fuck now lol

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

There are times when the attraction is there and the guy can't get a hard on .... then there's other things that can be done and a fun night can be had.

But No hard on and no attraction ... sounds like you handled it entirely properly for you and them.

V xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't feel bad OP! This can happen to a guy even when they do fancy you... There's a lot of pressure!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are times when the attraction is there and the guy can't get a hard on .... then there's other things that can be done and a fun night can be had.

But No hard on and no attraction ... sounds like you handled it entirely properly for you and them.

V xx

Yes I try my best to! Love the profile by the way x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't feel bad OP! This can happen to a guy even when they do fancy you... There's a lot of pressure! "

Thanks just feel so bad! Nice smile by the way! More people should smile on here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it OP

It can become a vicious circle if you let it get to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP this happened to me last week, an almost identical scenario. You did right by being honest and moving on. I felt the same as you; it will pass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it's madness really, I'm hard as fuck now lol "

Did it not feel right because you couldn't get a hard on or because you didn't fancy them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it's madness really, I'm hard as fuck now lol "

We're not machines, mate. Don't dwell on it. Otherwise you'll be expecting it to happen whenever you meet.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

The attraction wasn't there face to face I'm sure we've all been there that's why it's best to do a social first,don't worry about it's no biggy it's just sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men have a lot on in a new sexual situation.

You're thinking about size, technique, safety, boundaries, are you doing enough/too much/too hard/not hard enough...AND you've got to maintain an erection at the same time!

It must be bloody nerve wracking.

Above all, don't give yourself a hard time over not giving a lady a hard time. If she's nice, she'll understand. And beating yourself up will only put more pressure on you next time.

Maybe a social, first? To ensure there's chemistry?"

Aww lovely comments and so supportive ...that's halftime battle

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

As others have said, it absolutely happens all the time! Even when you've been with the same partner for years, sometimes the launch gets cancelled.

I'd say maybe don't be too quick to assume your lack of a hard on is down to not being into the woman. When I (Rob) get into new situations in clubs I can find that my brain likes to sabotage things by telling me I don't like this and to escape. That'll kill a boner stone cold dead too.

Could it be worth arranging a social meet with this couple or a play meet that involves soft play? This might take the pressure off you which may let you perform.

Above all, just try not to let it get into your head. Everything obviously works just fine down there - you were just a victim of the stress of the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens. I wouldnt presume it is just because you arent interested in them. Nerves and pressure play their part. I wouldnt see it as wasting their time either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As stated by other's here, men put themselves under a lot of pressure when it come's to performance, the list of "no show" is greater than the wall in china lol, pressure,nerves,can I, can't I, should I shouldn't I, will she, wont' she,tiredness can be a cause too, .....

Been there many times myself, not only with "strangers" but also with a regular partner, fortunately all concerned were understanding (well except for my then "wife"lol ) usually joke about it and laugh it off, the worst thing you can do is worry or stress over it, as you will just compound the issue and make it worse.

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By *ea_CoffeeCouple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

"Men have a lot on in a new sexual situation.

You're thinking about size, technique, safety, boundaries, are you doing enough/too much/too hard/not hard enough...AND you've got to maintain an erection at the same time!

It must be bloody nerve wracking.

Above all, don't give yourself a hard time over not giving a lady a hard time. If she's nice, she'll understand. And beating yourself up will only put more pressure on you next time.

Maybe a social, first? To ensure there's chemistry?"

Best response ive seen on fab for a while. Sometimes it happens but the above response is spot on.

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By *uziebabyWoman
over a year ago

Worcester

Anyway they arrived and we decide to pretty much start straight away! But for some reason I just couldn't get a hard on and they just didn't do it for me! I feel so bad about the whole situation!

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do or say?

I pretty much just said I'm really sorry but your just not for me! "

Its just one of those things I wouldn't worry about it you turned up you didn't let them down its not compulsory to play with someone just because you met them so put it behind you and move on.

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