FabSwingers.com forum: Correct terminology

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys, maybe some of you could educate me... I know labels don't really matter but it's more out of curiosity than anything.

Basically I'm a straight guy in the sense that I'm only attracted to and could only date women, but I do enjoy playing with guys/TVs.

Is bisexual the correct term or not? I feel like it wouldn't be as that would suggest an equal attraction or a willingness to date both. I always liked the term bi-playful but sure that's not a thing

Well prepared for the sarcastic answers and yes, I do have bisexual on my profile as I wouldn't want to decieve anyone.

Cheers

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By *anillaguyMan
over a year ago

Kingston

Bi - selfish I believe is the term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys, maybe some of you could educate me... I know labels don't really matter but it's more out of curiosity than anything.

Basically I'm a straight guy in the sense that I'm only attracted to and could only date women, but I do enjoy playing with guys/TVs.

Is bisexual the correct term or not? I feel like it wouldn't be as that would suggest an equal attraction or a willingness to date both. I always liked the term bi-playful but sure that's not a thing

Well prepared for the sarcastic answers and yes, I do have bisexual on my profile as I wouldn't want to decieve anyone.

Cheers

Bisexual is the answer. If men play with men they are bi, it's really that simple.

Both of us like to play with the same sex, but neither of us want to date the same sex, that makes us bi/bi-curious.

Poppy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not straight.

You are bi-sexual.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Urban dictionary to the rescue...

'Someone who is willing to accept pleasure and/or sexual gratification from the same sex but will not reciprocate.'

Which I wouldn't say would be me as I never said I didn't reciprocate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bisexual is the answer. If men play with men they are bi, it's really that simple.

Both of us like to play with the same sex, but neither of us want to date the same sex, that makes us bi/bi-curious.

Poppy"

Thanks Poppy, happy to accept that as the answer but then what would that make someone who would date both? Or is there no distinction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bisexual is the answer. If men play with men they are bi, it's really that simple.

Both of us like to play with the same sex, but neither of us want to date the same sex, that makes us bi/bi-curious.

Poppy

Thanks Poppy, happy to accept that as the answer but then what would that make someone who would date both? Or is there no distinction?"

I wouldn't say there was a distinction, but I'm sure some people will think differently. Some others will say, who cares about labels!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate... urban dictionary... really?

Your bi-sexual mate... looking for nuanced ways of saying it sounds like your struggling with what you are...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mate... urban dictionary... really?

Your bi-sexual mate... looking for nuanced ways of saying it sounds like your struggling with what you are...

Haha yeah I know what you're saying but I Googled bi-selfish as I didn't know what it referred to and it was literally the top link.

Honestly, no. Not something I broadcast outside of the scene but been this way for years now and happy with myself. As I say, was more out of curiosity as I'm forever seeing these fancy words banded about.

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By *omerladyWoman
over a year ago

Taunton

Some people make a distinction between sexuality and romanticism.

In that sense you describe being heteroromantic (attracted to women in relationship desires) but bisexual which is the desire to have sex with both men and women.

You definitely do not describe biselfish in any way.

Labels are labels. Some like them and some do not. Be yourself and enjoy yourself whatever you wish to label yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think Bisexual fits the bill at all for the OP!

We prefer to think of ourselves as pansexual...basically if something is in my face, whether that be male or female body parts I'm not going to say no. It's not about being attracted to both sexes,more about not wanting anything, including sexuality, to get in the way of what could potentially be amazing experiences!

Too many people see black or white, there's lot of grey out there too.

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By *omerladyWoman
over a year ago

Taunton

Try googling the Gingerbread Person. Some hate it and for others it is helpful.

It offers a way to help define yourself in your romantic and sexual attraction as well as assisting with gender and gender expression.

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By *omerladyWoman
over a year ago

Taunton

"I don't think Bisexual fits the bill at all for the OP!

Too many people see black or white, there's lot of grey out there too.

Actually yes, re-reading the OP, pansexual is better for defining the sexuality.

Pansexual is how I identify in both sexual and romantic terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In regular life I would describe you a straight, but for the purposes of the Fab, bisexual or bicurious will better describe the way you currently like to play. I agree with you though, time bisexual implies equal interest in both genders.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not about being attracted to both sexes,more about not wanting anything, including sexuality, to get in the way of what could potentially be amazing experiences!"

This is precisely how I feel about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try googling the Gingerbread Person. Some hate it and for others it is helpful.

It offers a way to help define yourself in your romantic and sexual attraction as well as assisting with gender and gender expression. "

I assume you mean Genderbread Person from a quick Google of it? Interesting stuff, will have a read. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what mate you have bi on your profile your doing right.

There's a lot of nuanced drivel on here and tbh it won't help you by further marginalizing what title you think you feel on any given day. Its just terribly fashionably libral, so for me it's best avoided.

You like girls you like lads you've covered it by saying bi don't worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disagree with most

Sexuality isn't absolute black-and-white. I can understand how some people are attracted exclusively to what defines "female" to them in both body and in spirit, but some people are a little looser about that because sexuality is much more like a sliding scale and people can connect on a variety of different levels (or not). I'd still call it heterosexual if I wanted to be simple about it, as what they're drawn to is their perception of a female and not a male. It's just people pigeonholing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm bisexual I have relationships with men or women. I've had long relationships with both. I find it's the person not the gender.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I think the 'sexual' part of bisexual or heterosexual is most relevant, especially so on here.

So, OP, as you have it, as bi is the correct description.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think 'bi-playful' is perfectly acceptable. If people meet you and say 'that's not a proper label' you can whip one out that you'd made earlier, stick it on your lapel and shout "YES IT IS" in their face and then walk off knowing you woz right, guv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a bit of a spectrum. So at the moment you sit at the very edge of the bi spectrum (as I see it) where as there are gay men who like to make out with women are the other end of the bi spectrum.

At the moment you might only want to play a little bit but in time that can change as you get more comfortable.

But as you say labels are not important. Just be happy

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By *omerladyWoman
over a year ago

Taunton

"I assume you mean Genderbread Person from a quick Google of it? Interesting stuff, will have a read. Thank you"

It was originally called the Gingerbread Person but it has gone through several versions.

There is also the Gender Unicorn.

They are both marmitey, some love them and some hate them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bisexual would be correct from the most basic pool of terms - it defines that you have sexual relations with the same and opposite sexes.

If you look into the (many) more diverse terms, I would put you down as Hetero flexible - you prefer/have serious relations with the opposite sex but are open to fooling around with the same sex.

See: https://flexuality.wordpress.com

(The test is a good thing to do if curious)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bisexual would be correct from the most basic pool of terms - it defines that you have sexual relations with the same and opposite sexes.

If you look into the (many) more diverse terms, I would put you down as Hetero flexible - you prefer/have serious relations with the opposite sex but are open to fooling around with the same sex.

See: https://flexuality.wordpress.com

(The test is a good thing to do if curious)"

That's a good way of putting it.

No broadly tell me the differences between that and bi-sexual...?

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