Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I've been swinging a good while now so I'm totally realistic about the difference between the real world and what maybe should be true. I have however always thought that given the outside world has a generally negative impression of swingers and swinging, we as a "community" should generally stick together. Our libertine and open attitudes to sex is our common ground although we are all different and entitled to our own opinions. So there seems to be a growing hypocracy around where, women and couples are stipulating that they don't meet guys who are bi or bi-curious which I don't understand. Many of these couples or ladies are actually bi themselves which is what made me think about this disparity. Just to be clear, my profile says bi-curious as this is a sexual area I'd like to explore with couples who are similarly tempted. I don't really want to meet single guys and do attend clubs where I meet and have a whole lot of fun with straight couples without ever being tempted to jump on the male half. So my question is what is the general thought on people stipulating that they don't meet bi or bi-curious guys? Is it just another factor that will make single guys (who get a bad press anyway) to change their preference at that time to straight? If that's the case does anyone else think these "trends" kind of go against the general "live and let live" principal that swinging is about? What do you think?" Just concentrate on people who will meet you instead of trying to label people who won't as bigots etc | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I'm not referring to anyone as bigots at all, I'm interested in other people's opinions on the hypocrisy and trying to create a discussion. If you don't want to discuss, that's ok too but just try and understand that the forum is about people sharing opinions " It's done to death though, it's the same as BBC only, no Asians thing, vvwe, exceptional men only etc etc it's all preferences that people have you just have to respect them and if you don't match don't bother them. World is full of hypocrisy and double standards. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
(I must be tired) | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
 | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
Its MY preference | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'." Why not? A discussion incorporates everyone's opinions doesn't it? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Why not? A discussion incorporates everyone's opinions doesn't it?" It sets the thread of as antagonist, on a subject that always causes issues anyway. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Blah blah If I had a penny for every I'm a bi guy why does no one meet me post" Then you wouldn't get a penny from this thread because that's not what the OP was asking | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Why not? A discussion incorporates everyone's opinions doesn't it? It sets the thread of as antagonist, on a subject that always causes issues anyway." I didn't read it as antagonistic, although I did skim read. It sounded questioning to me. We all read things differently I suppose and it wasn't aimed at me so I didn't take offence. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded "It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded "Ok I'm odd then. And I'll pass. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'." Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed it | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Live and let live... Ie...let everyone have their own preferences and not knock them because your not it" I know irony in it, a lot of liberals are like this. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed it" he did use the words...live and let live Just wish bi guys would  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
 | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision."This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
 | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Why not? A discussion incorporates everyone's opinions doesn't it? It sets the thread of as antagonist, on a subject that always causes issues anyway. I didn't read it as antagonistic, although I did skim read. It sounded questioning to me. We all read things differently I suppose and it wasn't aimed at me so I didn't take offence. " Not offended! But a bi thread hoping for a meaningful discussion with 'discrimination' as the title will probably not create a useful discussion. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed it" It's the title of the thread. I forgive you | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Your profile says bi-curious but you don't want to meet single guys Discriminate or a preference ?"  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed ithe did use the words...live and let live Just wish bi guys would "He did...but in a totally different context...the word discrimination doesn't actually fit where the words "live and let live" were used You really should read a bit more carefully...tsk tsk | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi guys Why should I be "more open minded "? 2 guys going at it does nothing for me as does a guy being overweight or having horrible teeth
Its MY preference "But if a guy wants to meet you one on one what does it matter if he also likes sex with dudes on other occasions? This gets said so often and it makes so little sense. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed ithe did use the words...live and let live Just wish bi guys would
He did...but in a totally different context...the word discrimination doesn't actually fit where the words "live and let live" were used
You really should read a bit more carefully...tsk tsk "are you following me?? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I? "No you shouldn't. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If you want to have an open free discussion, it's better not throwing in the words 'discrimination' and 'hypocrisy'. Did he use the word "discrimination" at all? Forgive me if I missed it It's the title of the thread. I forgive you "Ah...well...fair enough and thank you  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind. "As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse. And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities. Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I? "And do you ever find yourself thinking about which or how many other women your meet has had sex with? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
And do you ever find yourself thinking about which or how many other women your meet has had sex with? "nope  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"That's a preference. It was me who stated live and let live. My original point wasn't that everyone should screw anyone who shows interest, but trying to have discussion about why people may choose to not meet a bi bloke despite the female of female in the couple bring bi. How is that different? What risks are you really specifying in meeting a bi bloke as opposed to having sex with multiple partners? It certainly wasn't whinging about people not meeting me, I meet plenty of likeminded, fantastic people and gave for 10+ years on here. Hey we all have opinions and perspectives, that's what I was asking for. Even if I may not agree, that ok too! " Bi women not same as a Bi man, Some women don't consider it masculine or alpha male. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind. "It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously. "Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police. Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"That's a preference. It was me who stated live and let live. My original point wasn't that everyone should screw anyone who shows interest, but trying to have discussion about why people may choose to not meet a bi bloke despite the female of female in the couple bring bi. How is that different? What risks are you really specifying in meeting a bi bloke as opposed to having sex with multiple partners? It certainly wasn't whinging about people not meeting me, I meet plenty of likeminded, fantastic people and gave for 10+ years on here. Hey we all have opinions and perspectives, that's what I was asking for. Even if I may not agree, that ok too! " It's different because bi women don't penetrate each other with a penis. People see that as high risk. Also, a lot of men like seeing two women together. Whereas, two men don't appeal to women so much. Personally, I like to watch two (or more) men have sex, whereas, watching two women does nothing for me. It's all about what instills attraction or repulsion into our minds. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"But... You could argue the same with a chick with loads of veris? How many times do you see on a guys profile...if you've got more than blah veris I ain't interested or not looking to meet the whole site and if you have...move along Good with the bad and all that " I can't comment on that as don't actually look through that many guys profiles. If you say you see it regularly then fair enough but, assuming you're responding to my comment about "risk reduction", I'd say those guys are labouring under some old fashioned stereotypes. Like I said, we're all individuals and some people are making some unfair judgements based on one aspect of a person's profile. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I suppose that depends on your definition of curious doesn't it? Were you a swinger when you joined this site 2 weeks ago or were you just curious? Now you've met done odd does that mean you're a "hardened" swinger? Maybe or maybe not. But if you don't define yourself in the way other people might, does that mean you're being deceptive? My original point was that swingers are stereotyped and catagorised in the real world and MY OWN perspective of swinging is about exploring fantasies and desires that don't neccesarilly fit in with the norm of modern life. " And "THEIR OWN" is not finding men who have sex with men attractive. That isn't their fantasy. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse.
And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities.
Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though. "If it's offensive, block and meet those who aren't offensive. I give blood and a question they ask is if I've had sex with a man who's had sex with another man. I'd rather not run the risk myself, as they clearly see it as a higher risk. If it's offensive to bi people then that's unfortunate as my approach isn't going to change. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"But... You could argue the same with a chick with loads of veris? How many times do you see on a guys profile...if you've got more than blah veris I ain't interested or not looking to meet the whole site and if you have...move along Good with the bad and all that I can't comment on that as don't actually look through that many guys profiles. If you say you see it regularly then fair enough but, assuming you're responding to my comment about "risk reduction", I'd say those guys are labouring under some old fashioned stereotypes. Like I said, we're all individuals and some people are making some unfair judgements based on one aspect of a person's profile. " nope...Iv never mentioned anything about risk...for me it's purely a sexual preference | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I? "You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion? So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I suppose that depends on your definition of curious doesn't it? Were you a swinger when you joined this site 2 weeks ago or were you just curious? Now you've met done odd does that mean you're a "hardened" swinger? Maybe or maybe not. But if you don't define yourself in the way other people might, does that mean you're being deceptive? My original point was that swingers are stereotyped and catagorised in the real world and MY OWN perspective of swinging is about exploring fantasies and desires that don't neccesarilly fit in with the norm of modern life. " Use reply and quote, you can't really compare that analogy though. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse.
And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities.
Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though. "It's offensive to want to reduce your risk of catching an infection? Some people are risk takers by nature, some are not. I respect that a man can not want me because of the amount of men I have had sex with. It's his way of reducing his risk of catching something. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice. "I gave an answer...not chip in ..as many others have also. So me not meeting men on the larger scale is seen as a prejudice also? It's a preference...not a prejudice | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually."That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way. And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice. "The bi guys on this thread appear to be prejudiced against those who aren't sexually attracted to them, it seems. For fucksake, who cares. People waste so much time on things which they can't influence or change, picking apart groups which exclude them in some way. What's the point. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice. "It isn't a prejudice. If she wouldnt give the man a job or talk to him, then it would be a prejudice. She doesn't want to have sex with him, that is very different. Are you prejudiced against everyone you dont want sex with? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"can't speak for gymlover, but I am more interested in the reason behind why people say "no Bi" and that's sort of the crux of it. I understand some people will say because they are concerned about the sexual health element, I can see that connection (I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) Ultimately I wish to understand because I do want to talk about it, but not in a way where I'm trying the make anyone sleep with me." For some people it's the sex act between two men that puts them off. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"can't speak for gymlover, but I am more interested in the reason behind why people say "no Bi" and that's sort of the crux of it. I understand some people will say because they are concerned about the sexual health element, I can see that connection (I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) We put my friend, we are definately of the same thinking there. Ultimately I wish to understand because I do want to talk about it, but not in a way where I'm trying the make anyone sleep with me." | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice.
The bi guys on this thread appear to be prejudiced against those who aren't sexually attracted to them, it seems.
For fucksake, who cares. People waste so much time on things which they can't influence or change, picking apart groups which exclude them in some way. What's the point. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour? "No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form. To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I suppose that depends on your definition of curious doesn't it? Were you a swinger when you joined this site 2 weeks ago or were you just curious? Now you've met done odd does that mean you're a "hardened" swinger? Maybe or maybe not. But if you don't define yourself in the way other people might, does that mean you're being deceptive? My original point was that swingers are stereotyped and catagorised in the real world and MY OWN perspective of swinging is about exploring fantasies and desires that don't neccesarilly fit in with the norm of modern life. Use reply and quote, you can't really compare that analogy though." Why not? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice.
The bi guys on this thread appear to be prejudiced against those who aren't sexually attracted to them, it seems.
For fucksake, who cares. People waste so much time on things which they can't influence or change, picking apart groups which exclude them in some way. What's the point. "To show they are victims of discrimination apparently | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I?
You decided to chip into a debate, do you expect other people to just nod in response and have no opinion?
So basically you dislike man on man sex. That's fine, but people shouldn't pretend it's not a prejudice. I gave an answer...not chip in ..as many others have also.
So me not meeting men on the larger scale is seen as a prejudice also?
It's a preference...not a prejudice "Given that a man being bi has absolutely nothing to do with anything when he is having sex with a woman, I fail to see what there is to have a preference about. Unless the woman thinks being bi is inherently unpleasant. Which seems like a prejudice to me. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour? "If they are having sex with other men they are in the highest risk category for infections spread by body fluids. It's factual. In my Borough the highest incidence of HIV infection is amongst men who have sex with men. People use that as risk reduction. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
Things may improve one day but, reading the news, we seem to be going backwards at the moment, so perhaps not | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse.
And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities.
Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though.
It's offensive to want to reduce your risk of catching an infection? Some people are risk takers by nature, some are not. I respect that a man can not want me because of the amount of men I have had sex with. It's his way of reducing his risk of catching something. "You're the one who's profile states you won't meet without extended conversation, and getting to know personality and character, wouldn't that process give you an idea of what risks they take and give you an idea of the difference between a guy like me whose had a couple of male partners, practiced safe sex and tested clean since and a completely straight guy who's acted irresponsibility with a large number of women? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I suppose that depends on your definition of curious doesn't it? Were you a swinger when you joined this site 2 weeks ago or were you just curious? Now you've met done odd does that mean you're a "hardened" swinger? Maybe or maybe not. But if you don't define yourself in the way other people might, does that mean you're being deceptive? My original point was that swingers are stereotyped and catagorised in the real world and MY OWN perspective of swinging is about exploring fantasies and desires that don't neccesarilly fit in with the norm of modern life. Use reply and quote, you can't really compare that analogy though. Why not?" Well just think about it if someone said to me 'have you been a swinging club' and I said 'no but i'm thinking about going' but i have a veri saying someone met me in a club. So I wouldn't be curious would I. You catch my drift | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Feels a bit like toys being thrown out the pram here Except people are diffrent everyone has diffrent likes and dislikes..find what's right for you and stick with that.. No one is better or worse than anyone else The key word here is preference " Disagreeing with you doesn't equal 'toys thrown out the pram' but thanks for the condescension. Obviously everyone is entitled to their preferences (and prejudices). But discussion on these issues is fine, and even necessary sometimes. The tone of 'just shut up' in this thread is telling. People don't want to consider where their preferences might come from or what they might mean. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
If they are having sex with other men they are in the highest risk category for infections spread by body fluids. It's factual. In my Borough the highest incidence of HIV infection is amongst men who have sex with men. People use that as risk reduction. "Yes and in relation to this and the question he originally asked - I don't 'automatically assume' because these are friends. Good friends. And we actually speak. We talk about what they get up to and no way would I play with any of them. They accept this and agree, funnily enough. Two also have HIV. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Feels a bit like toys being thrown out the pram here Except people are diffrent everyone has diffrent likes and dislikes..find what's right for you and stick with that.. No one is better or worse than anyone else The key word here is preference Disagreeing with you doesn't equal 'toys thrown out the pram' but thanks for the condescension. Obviously everyone is entitled to their preferences (and prejudices). But discussion on these issues is fine, and even necessary sometimes. The tone of 'just shut up' in this thread is telling. People don't want to consider where their preferences might come from or what they might mean. " my head actually hurts | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form.
To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest."I love the fact that you reached so strongly to the obviously tongue in cheek statement and completely ignored the more relevant and serious question. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form.
To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest.
I love the fact that you reached so strongly to the obviously tongue in cheek statement and completely ignored the more relevant and serious question. "There's nothing serious about this thread. It's laughable and a waste of time and energy for all involved. And I didn't. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse.
And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities.
Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though.
It's offensive to want to reduce your risk of catching an infection? Some people are risk takers by nature, some are not. I respect that a man can not want me because of the amount of men I have had sex with. It's his way of reducing his risk of catching something.
You're the one who's profile states you won't meet without extended conversation, and getting to know personality and character, wouldn't that process give you an idea of what risks they take and give you an idea of the difference between a guy like me whose had a couple of male partners, practiced safe sex and tested clean since and a completely straight guy who's acted irresponsibility with a large number of women?"I chat to establish chemistry and desire and to get an idea of what they want from me. Not as a risk reduction exercise. I don't ask who or how many people they have had sex with. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
As I've said on many of these threads before, nobody is asking anyone to jump into bed with anyone they don't want to, we're just asking to be judged on our own individual merits and treated as individuals rather than being disregarded en masse.
And yes I can appreciate that sometimes women need to eliminate whole chunks of guys at a stroke just to get down to a manageable number of possibilities.
Be nice if some of you actually realised how offensive the "risk reduction" argument is though.
It's offensive to want to reduce your risk of catching an infection? Some people are risk takers by nature, some are not. I respect that a man can not want me because of the amount of men I have had sex with. It's his way of reducing his risk of catching something.
You're the one who's profile states you won't meet without extended conversation, and getting to know personality and character, wouldn't that process give you an idea of what risks they take and give you an idea of the difference between a guy like me whose had a couple of male partners, practiced safe sex and tested clean since and a completely straight guy who's acted irresponsibility with a large number of women?
I chat to establish chemistry and desire and to get an idea of what they want from me. Not as a risk reduction exercise. I don't ask who or how many people they have had sex with. "So you know, I have met bi men. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Feels a bit like toys being thrown out the pram here Except people are diffrent everyone has diffrent likes and dislikes..find what's right for you and stick with that.. No one is better or worse than anyone else The key word here is preference Disagreeing with you doesn't equal 'toys thrown out the pram' but thanks for the condescension. Obviously everyone is entitled to their preferences (and prejudices). But discussion on these issues is fine, and even necessary sometimes. The tone of 'just shut up' in this thread is telling. People don't want to consider where their preferences might come from or what they might mean. my head actually hurts "Mine too. Feels like we're being made to feel bad for not wanting to sleep with them. Oh well, I won't lose sleep. If anything this thread has brought to light that bi men are more dramatic than strictly gay men | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form.
To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest.
I love the fact that you reached so strongly to the obviously tongue in cheek statement and completely ignored the more relevant and serious question.
There's nothing serious about this thread. It's laughable and a waste of time and energy for all involved.
And I didn't. "Yeah, I see now you came back to it while I was typing. Sorry. Your comment does actually come back full circle quite nicely to my earlier posts about people being disregarded en masse without ever being spoken to and the acknowledgement that the sheer volume of guys on here means this isn't always possible. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"That's a preference. It was me who stated live and let live. My original point wasn't that everyone should screw anyone who shows interest, but trying to have discussion about why people may choose to not meet a bi bloke despite the female of female in the couple bring bi. How is that different? What risks are you really specifying in meeting a bi bloke as opposed to having sex with multiple partners? It certainly wasn't whinging about people not meeting me, I meet plenty of likeminded, fantastic people and gave for 10+ years on here. Hey we all have opinions and perspectives, that's what I was asking for. Even if I may not agree, that ok too! Bi women not same as a Bi man, Some women don't consider it masculine or alpha male." Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both pretty alpha male and they had plenty of sex with other men !! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"No matter how much you harrang the lady who is taking the time to answer, it will not change her sexual desires. This thread looks like a pack. I'm a straight guy, should I also be having sex with bi men so not be prejudiced?" oofft...a straight guy at last ..fancy a shag? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"If anything this thread has brought to light that bi men are more dramatic than strictly gay men" If you think this is bad, you should have seen how stroppy I got when nobody laughed at the joke I made in the "white knight" thread. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Feels a bit like toys being thrown out the pram here Except people are diffrent everyone has diffrent likes and dislikes..find what's right for you and stick with that.. No one is better or worse than anyone else The key word here is preference Disagreeing with you doesn't equal 'toys thrown out the pram' but thanks for the condescension. Obviously everyone is entitled to their preferences (and prejudices). But discussion on these issues is fine, and even necessary sometimes. The tone of 'just shut up' in this thread is telling. People don't want to consider where their preferences might come from or what they might mean. " There are people who have given very fair reasons. They've been ignored in favour of arguing discrimination. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form.
To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest.
I love the fact that you reached so strongly to the obviously tongue in cheek statement and completely ignored the more relevant and serious question.
There's nothing serious about this thread. It's laughable and a waste of time and energy for all involved.
And I didn't.
Yeah, I see now you came back to it while I was typing. Sorry.
Your comment does actually come back full circle quite nicely to my earlier posts about people being disregarded en masse without ever being spoken to and the acknowledgement that the sheer volume of guys on here means this isn't always possible.
"Still not going to change my feeling though! I know enough in the 'real' world to make an informed decision, without being hen-pecked and judged by strangers on here. The absurdity of this is like a straight man creating a thread, protesting against lesbians because they won't sleep with him. Fruitless. Bloody fruitless! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"No matter how much you harrang the lady who is taking the time to answer, it will not change her sexual desires. This thread looks like a pack. I'm a straight guy, should I also be having sex with bi men so not be prejudiced?oofft...a straight guy at last ..fancy a shag? "I'm not harranging anyone and seeing as the majority of women involved in the conversation are miles away from me, even if I do give a compelling enough argument to encourage them to broaden their search a little bit, I'm still not gonna get a shag out of it and have nothing to gain and no agenda. its mearly been a debate. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
It's not odd though is it. People don't like knowing a man has done something sexual with another man and it puts them off, for whatever reason. For some it's a risk reducing decision.
This is exactly why I don't want to, both of these reasons. And no amount or debate or accusation will change my mind.
It's not like there are no people at all on here who will meet bi men. Go to a club and you wouldn't know anyway. Unless it was bi night, obviously.
Another reason I don't go to clubs! Haha. Bring on the bi police.
Loads of my mates are bi/gay - it's just not for me sexually.
That's a shame, you're missing out on some good times, apparently there's some cracking ones round your way.
And these gay/bi mates of yours, do you automatically assume they're involved in "risky" behaviour?
No. I'm not missing out if it doesn't appeal to me. Not in any way shape or form.
To assume I don't have plenty of good times without shagging bi people is condescending, to be honest.
I love the fact that you reached so strongly to the obviously tongue in cheek statement and completely ignored the more relevant and serious question.
There's nothing serious about this thread. It's laughable and a waste of time and energy for all involved.
And I didn't.
Yeah, I see now you came back to it while I was typing. Sorry.
Your comment does actually come back full circle quite nicely to my earlier posts about people being disregarded en masse without ever being spoken to and the acknowledgement that the sheer volume of guys on here means this isn't always possible.
Still not going to change my feeling though! I know enough in the 'real' world to make an informed decision, without being hen-pecked and judged by strangers on here.
The absurdity of this is like a straight man creating a thread, protesting against lesbians because they won't sleep with him.
Fruitless. Bloody fruitless!"Wasn't trying to change your mind, my last post was actually agreeing with you, in that I totally understand why women block out whole groups of guys just to make this site manageable. The most common "filter" after bi guys is Asians, one works in my favour, one doesn't, it's the nature of this site. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Op, in your opening post you wrote 'Our libertine and open attitudes to sex is our common ground'. It's a lovely idea, but I'm afraid it's also a misconception. You'll find the same wide range of attitudes, beliefs, morals and interests on here as you would in any randomly thrown together group of people. There is no 'common ground', beyond the fact that we all have a healthy (well, mostly healthy) interest in sex. " That's why I love the Politics threads on here. You get the opinions of a complete cross section of society, but broken down to a manageable sample size. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"(I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) " Wow. Another thread like this. I am calling it. I think one of the small downsides of liberalism and sexual acceptance is that its opened the floodgates for the delusional and entitled among the LGBT community who think its their right to demand people to be attracted to them. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"(I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) Wow. Another thread like this. I am calling it. I think one of the small downsides of liberalism and sexual acceptance is that its opened the floodgates for the delusional and entitled among the LGBT community who think its their right to demand people to be attracted to them." I don't remember demanding that? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"(I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) Wow. Another thread like this. I am calling it. I think one of the small downsides of liberalism and sexual acceptance is that its opened the floodgates for the delusional and entitled among the LGBT community who think its their right to demand people to be attracted to them. I don't remember demanding that?" Neither do I. If fact the quote from my comment was me pointing out if that is a reason it isn't based on imperial evidence but the assumption that only male gay sex passes STIs. To take it further, if you wish to say no Bi men because of sexual health stuff, then surely you would need to build a massive sexual exploits profile of all your sexual partners, and those partners, and those partners etc etc In the end the likelihood of you sleeping with someone who is not bisexual in the swinging community but has not had sex with someone who has had a sexual link to some bisexual is crazy. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"It was mentioned about Blood donation in the UK earlier. Just as a point out there are major calls to change the law regarding the restrictions on gay and bisexual men giving blood because the fact is all STI infection tests can be conducted in gay men the same as everyone else if they show up clean, you know what that blood they wish to donate could really be useful. My friend went to give blood the other year to find out this law existed and then had to wait until the conditions met for him to donate. The staff were in total agreement that it's an outdated law that has not been changed to reflect actual scientific understanding and the urgency Blood is needed in the NHS." Gay men make up 50% of new hiv infections but abour 3-5%. Resteicting us giving blood reduces the risk massively while reducing the donor pool marginally at best. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Also. I think this is a good reason why men should strive to work out, read regularly, and learn the intricacies of engaging with the opposite sex. Through doing so, I have been able to equip myself with some sense of agency which doesnt have me demanding stupid shit like why women dont want to have sex with black guys or why people are not into bisexuals? I make myself as attractive as I can so I dont have to sit there and whine without moving on when I dont get my way. Threads like these really do highlight the fact that the "scarcity mentality" is real." | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"It was mentioned about Blood donation in the UK earlier. Just as a point out there are major calls to change the law regarding the restrictions on gay and bisexual men giving blood because the fact is all STI infection tests can be conducted in gay men the same as everyone else if they show up clean, you know what that blood they wish to donate could really be useful. My friend went to give blood the other year to find out this law existed and then had to wait until the conditions met for him to donate. The staff were in total agreement that it's an outdated law that has not been changed to reflect actual scientific understanding and the urgency Blood is needed in the NHS. Gay men make up 50% of new hiv infections but abour 3-5%. Resteicting us giving blood reduces the risk massively while reducing the donor pool marginally at best. " But the restrictions aren't needed in their blanket form they are now, because tests can be made to make sure the blood is safe. And we don't have a surplus of blood, blood donation is needed constantly to make sure it's there in situations on major emergency of mass casualties. Not to mention that some gay and bi men will have rare blood types, ones that are needed the most. To basically cut off such a supply of blood makes no scientific sense. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
 | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. " Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men?" Is that actually a serious question or are you having a laugh?? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"It was mentioned about Blood donation in the UK earlier. Just as a point out there are major calls to change the law regarding the restrictions on gay and bisexual men giving blood because the fact is all STI infection tests can be conducted in gay men the same as everyone else if they show up clean, you know what that blood they wish to donate could really be useful. My friend went to give blood the other year to find out this law existed and then had to wait until the conditions met for him to donate. The staff were in total agreement that it's an outdated law that has not been changed to reflect actual scientific understanding and the urgency Blood is needed in the NHS. Gay men make up 50% of new hiv infections but abour 3-5%. Resteicting us giving blood reduces the risk massively while reducing the donor pool marginally at best. But the restrictions aren't needed in their blanket form they are now, because tests can be made to make sure the blood is safe. And we don't have a surplus of blood, blood donation is needed constantly to make sure it's there in situations on major emergency of mass casualties. Not to mention that some gay and bi men will have rare blood types, ones that are needed the most. To basically cut off such a supply of blood makes no scientific sense." The tests are not effective on new infections. The amount of extra donors they will get is so insigificant to not be worth the risk. Gay men make up a tiny percent of the population and only a tiny percent of them would give blood an even tinier percent would have a rare blood type. Theres no point chasing fractions of a percent of the population under the misguided title of equality | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Meh! Some do, some don't, it's all about personal preference #genericanswer#1" That pretty much sums it up
If someone didn't want to meet me because I have been with other women the last thing I'd think of doing would be to try and play the discrimination card and try and make other people feel bad about their preferences.
I'd move on to someone who actually wanted to meet me rather than whinging.
The right to choice and to say no to someone you don't want still exists (shock horror) and if certain people choose to be offended by it then it says a lot more about them than the other party
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Threads like these really do highlight the fact that the "scarcity mentality" is real." I don't think myself or some others on this thread think we have to convert people in their way of thinking, because otherwise we'll never have sex. There are plenty of people who do not have any issues in this manner. However in some cases I want to understand the reasoning. This way I can appreciate their point of view better. For instance I've seen profiles that say "no asians or Black people" and some are expressed with out bigotry or racism. But then you come across some which clearly are racist, and whilst I'm white, I would not try and have sex with them even if there was a mutual attraction, because personally I would be uncomfortable have sex with an active racist. But other profiles where people only wish to meet white people are not bigots and that's fine. Same with people who are not wanting to meet people who are Bi. Just to clear I'm not trying to say all people who say "no Bi's" are the same as racists. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"It was mentioned about Blood donation in the UK earlier. Just as a point out there are major calls to change the law regarding the restrictions on gay and bisexual men giving blood because the fact is all STI infection tests can be conducted in gay men the same as everyone else if they show up clean, you know what that blood they wish to donate could really be useful. My friend went to give blood the other year to find out this law existed and then had to wait until the conditions met for him to donate. The staff were in total agreement that it's an outdated law that has not been changed to reflect actual scientific understanding and the urgency Blood is needed in the NHS. Gay men make up 50% of new hiv infections but abour 3-5%. Resteicting us giving blood reduces the risk massively while reducing the donor pool marginally at best. But the restrictions aren't needed in their blanket form they are now, because tests can be made to make sure the blood is safe. And we don't have a surplus of blood, blood donation is needed constantly to make sure it's there in situations on major emergency of mass casualties. Not to mention that some gay and bi men will have rare blood types, ones that are needed the most. To basically cut off such a supply of blood makes no scientific sense. The tests are not effective on new infections. The amount of extra donors they will get is so insigificant to not be worth the risk. Gay men make up a tiny percent of the population and only a tiny percent of them would give blood an even tinier percent would have a rare blood type. " But it's no different than the test conducted on straight people who would be newly infected. Gay mens tests do not take longer to be cleared than everyone else's. Plus blood donation in certain locations are much lower than others, to the extent they have need more donors. To assume that Gay and Bi men are either too small a percentage in that area is crazy. Every Drop of blood is needed | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men? Is that actually a serious question or are you having a laugh?? " no I'm serious. what is the difference. I'm guessing you're attracted to Women, but how is same sex then between men different in your mind. I'm not having a go honestly want to know and understand. this for me is trying to wrap my head around it. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men? Is that actually a serious question or are you having a laugh?? no I'm serious. what is the difference. I'm guessing you're attracted to Women, but how is same sex then between men different in your mind. I'm not having a go honestly want to know and understand. this for me is trying to wrap my head around it." I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men?" Dude, now you're just prolonging your own agony! Are you a masochist by any chance? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that "Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi men. I find the thought of men having sex with other men a turn off. Thats cool if you actively are turned off by it I understand, though out of curiosity your profile you describe yourself as Bisexual. Why then is same sex between 2 women different to between 2 men? Dude, now you're just prolonging your own agony! Are you a masochist by any chance? "Honestly man I want to understand people, it's why I joined the thread. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Meh! Some do, some don't, it's all about personal preference #genericanswer#1 That pretty much sums it up
If someone didn't want to meet me because I have been with other women the last thing I'd think of doing would be to try and play the discrimination card and try and make other people feel bad about their preferences.
I'd move on to someone who actually wanted to meet me rather than whinging.
The right to choice and to say no to someone you don't want still exists (shock horror) and if certain people choose to be offended by it then it says a lot more about them than the other party
"Shwmae! I can't think of any reason that would put me off to be fair. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex."The thought of a man sucking another man's cock is equally as sexually offputting I'm afraid. Any form of male on male sexual contact is a turn off for me. Don't think I can explain it in any simpler terms | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I don't meet bi guys Why should I be "more open minded "? 2 guys going at it does nothing for me as does a guy being overweight or having horrible teeth
Its MY preference "This | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex.
The thought of a man sucking another man's cock is equally as sexually offputting I'm afraid.
Any form of male on male sexual contact is a turn off for me. Don't think I can explain it in any simpler terms "This too | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex.
The thought of a man sucking another man's cock is equally as sexually offputting I'm afraid.
Any form of male on male sexual contact is a turn off for me. Don't think I can explain it in any simpler terms "You don't need to explain anything, we all have preferences, I don't like women under 35 except 1 very special one... I don't need to explain why. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex.
The thought of a man sucking another man's cock is equally as sexually offputting I'm afraid.
Any form of male on male sexual contact is a turn off for me. Don't think I can explain it in any simpler terms
You don't need to explain anything, we all have preferences, I don't like women under 35 except 1 very special one... I don't need to explain why."I'm explaining because the guy asked me to but I don't think I can break it down any simpler for him now
You ageist!!  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that "Awesome answer!!!!! I think I may love you just a little bit! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
On the risk side
83% of Sti/stds are diagnosed in the msm group
Condoms have a higher risk of ripping in the poop chute
Hep B is rampant in the msm community
So I understand why women don't want to meet bi guys.
While I'm on my soapbox
If a so called straight guy passes hiv onto a lady and afterwards is found out to be bi he should be locked up for murder.
So what do I do?
1 Safe sex
2 Get tested (Back in the clinic this week even though my ring has been untouched for a good while)
3 Always be honest with who I meet.
4 Have a bloody good time | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"As a bi male I really couldn't care less if a lady doesn't want to meet me. Her choice at the end of the day. But women are out there who at the thought of watching and playing with a couple or more bi guys get so wet that they slide off the leather couch. They are the women I enjoy meeting
On the risk side
83% of Sti/stds are diagnosed in the msm group
Condoms have a higher risk of ripping in the poop chute
Hep B is rampant in the msm community
So I understand why women don't want to meet bi guys.
While I'm on my soapbox
If a so called straight guy passes hiv onto a lady and afterwards is found out to be bi he should be locked up for murder.
So what do I do?
1 Safe sex
2 Get tested (Back in the clinic this week even though my ring has been untouched for a good while)
3 Always be honest with who I meet.
4 Have a bloody good time "You get a Grevious bodily harm charge for knowingly infecting somone with hiv not murder. The lying about being bi though if made an explicit point of consent that you're straight could be argued as "r word" by deception but it would be a very hard sell and the cps unlikley to go with it. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Hang on a minute. This thread seems to be saying that anyone that doesn't want to fuck one of us for any reason is prejudiced! We're victims! (me probably more than Debs) Where do we go to get compensayshun?" compo
A bi guy turned us down the other day. Who does he think he is  we are bi, he is bi. What's his problem
Oh yes, he looked at our profile and decided we weren't his preference. So fair play to the guy. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"The irony is, those that say they won't sleep with bi or bi-curious guys probably already have! I bet. "Possibly, but given the facts, they would choose not to. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Op, in your opening post you wrote 'Our libertine and open attitudes to sex is our common ground'. It's a lovely idea, but I'm afraid it's also a misconception. You'll find the same wide range of attitudes, beliefs, morals and interests on here as you would in any randomly thrown together group of people. There is no 'common ground', beyond the fact that we all have a healthy (well, mostly healthy) interest in sex. " Well said. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex."Have you ever been attracted to someone because they are witty, kind or share your taste in music? Have you ever been turned off by discovering someones racist views? All these things are sexually irrelevant. Yet they drive attraction. Why try to persuade someone that their personal feelings are wrong? I have no problem with bi men but these threads drive accepting people up the wall and are counter productive. You demand people accept your inner sexual nuances but you won't accept theirs. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"You have to understand that swingers are ordinary people, the same as non swingers and will be bigots, racists, vanilla sex types, but will have sex with multiple people they aren't in relationships with. Being a swinger does not automatically make you open minded and up for fucking anyone. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"My 2p. I'm a straight guy and do not have a discriminatory atom in my body. That said I can personally witness sexual acts between men as it makes me feel quite queasy, the opposite of attractive if you like. I'm entitled to feel like that as we are all different. In my area there are plenty of couples with a bi guy and plenty of couples that only meet bi guys. Which is great. Obviously I'd never contact them and have indeed turned down meets where I've been asked to "play bi" despite my profile stating I am straight. This also applied when I was swinging as a couple. My partner liked straight guys and I felt uncomfortable with the thought of an "I'm bi but can play straight" guy checking me out during play. There is plenty on here for all, just don't try to have your cake and eat it."
I won't fuck anyone that makes me feel queasy. I don't care what names people choose to call me, I still won't fuck them. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"It is worth considering that you cannot give blood for a year if you have had sex with a man who has sex with men. Even if you used a condom. To me, that is the only logical reason for not sleeping with bisexual men. And it's the most compelling reason for men to be up front on their profiles rather than pretending they are straight. Everything else is basically just homophobia." As I recall you don't meet straight men, so you ae also prejudiced. How is that ok? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Yeah no I understand that. I'm guessing your not into anal stuff in general? Also what about Man who would only perform masterbation on their male partner or give oral/or receive oral. as some do not have anal sex.
Have you ever been attracted to someone because they are witty, kind or share your taste in music?
Have you ever been turned off by discovering someones racist views?
All these things are sexually irrelevant. Yet they drive attraction.
Why try to persuade someone that their personal feelings are wrong?
I have no problem with bi men but these threads drive accepting people up the wall and are counter productive. You demand people accept your inner sexual nuances but you won't accept theirs.
"Believe me, as a bi couple I am getting heartily sick of these threads. We are perfectly content that there are PLENTY of bi men, couples and fems that openly state they are. And this is our preferred area to play. There's a very slim chance we'd be interested in meeting straight people, because it's not our thing. We certainly don't feel miffed when we see straight profiles. Frankly threads like these smack of the OP being rejected most likely by profiles where it's obvious he wasn't going to be successful. And this crazy assumption that bi women should accept bi men is just that....crazy. There's something for all of us on here.  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded "We prefer to meet bi guys. So constantly turn down straight guys even though there is often just straight play. Should we be more open minded to "the straights"
It's no wonder heterosexuals are put off by bi people when so many seem so self entitled to be included by everyone. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that
Awesome answer!!!!!
I think I may love you just a little bit! "It's just the way it is for me If I were homophobic I wouldn't frequent "gay" venues and spent a lot of time with both gay and bisexual friends If people want to label me a homophobe for my choice though, leave them to it. I'm more than comfortable with my preferences | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I think its odd not to meet bi guys Im not going to force it I can play straight and people should try and be more openminded
We prefer to meet bi guys. So constantly turn down straight guys even though there is often just straight play. Should we be more open minded to "the straights"
It's no wonder heterosexuals are put off by bi people when so many seem so self entitled to be included by everyone. " Well said guys, sure you have loads of fun how you and your meets like to play. Nice to see a relaxed understanding view of others.
Have fun x | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"(I would say it's unfair on many people because honestly Gay or Straight sex has the same statistical STI risks assuming people have safe sex) Wow. Another thread like this. I am calling it. I think one of the small downsides of liberalism and sexual acceptance is that its opened the floodgates for the delusional and entitled among the LGBT community who think its their right to demand people to be attracted to them." These liberals want to rub it in your face, if you have slightly conservative views you are a bigot or homophobe. They wanna look up what liberal actually means. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"... I find the thought of a man putting his penis inside another mans rectum sexually offputting. I do not find the thought of a woman touching another womans vagina sexually offputting. It really is as simple as that "I missed this earlier. Brilliant!! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I've been swinging a good while now so I'm totally realistic about the difference between the real world and what maybe should be true. I have however always thought that given the outside world has a generally negative impression of swingers and swinging, we as a "community" should generally stick together. Our libertine and open attitudes to sex is our common ground although we are all different and entitled to our own opinions. So there seems to be a growing hypocracy around where, women and couples are stipulating that they don't meet guys who are bi or bi-curious which I don't understand. Many of these couples or ladies are actually bi themselves which is what made me think about this disparity. " Have you not thought about the additional dangers of STI when anal sex is involved. We know being Bi does not necassirily involve anal but it could and that increases the chances of STI. Some people do not want to be exposed to that increase of risk. It is similar to those who will not people who enjoy bareback sex with others even if they will use a condom when meeting them. It just depends on individual assesment of risk | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I had my cock sucked at a club once by a guy but i have no interest in having sex with a guy so state in my profile that I'm orally bi if people don't want to meet me that's fine" If it suits you to share on your profile that one particular sexual activity, that's your choice as it's your profile. I'm sure there are numerous sexual activities that you have indulged in that you choose not to share on your profile because it's either none of anybody else's business or it's not relevant. Sucking a cock is just one of many sexual activities. But if that needs to be singled out and disclosed, then what other sexual activities should be disclosed to protect those who might find it distasteful? Mrs | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I had my cock sucked at a club once by a guy but i have no interest in having sex with a guy so state in my profile that I'm orally bi if people don't want to meet me that's fine If it suits you to share on your profile that one particular sexual activity, that's your choice as it's your profile. I'm sure there are numerous sexual activities that you have indulged in that you choose not to share on your profile because it's either none of anybody else's business or it's not relevant. Sucking a cock is just one of many sexual activities. But if that needs to be singled out and disclosed, then what other sexual activities should be disclosed to protect those who might find it distasteful? Mrs" All of them, with dates, times, and location! but only the first instance of course... The answer to this and all similar threads is 'Preference' | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I had my cock sucked at a club once by a guy but i have no interest in having sex with a guy so state in my profile that I'm orally bi if people don't want to meet me that's fine If it suits you to share on your profile that one particular sexual activity, that's your choice as it's your profile. I'm sure there are numerous sexual activities that you have indulged in that you choose not to share on your profile because it's either none of anybody else's business or it's not relevant. Sucking a cock is just one of many sexual activities. But if that needs to be singled out and disclosed, then what other sexual activities should be disclosed to protect those who might find it distasteful? Mrs All of them, with dates, times, and location! but only the first instance of course... The answer to this and all similar threads is 'Preference'" Oh come on, nobody itemises a list of the sexual activities that they have done in the past, for prospective sex partners, just in case that prospective partner finds something distasteful. But yes, if people are going to keep throwing out the word 'preference' (which on Fab seems to have developed an entirely different meaning that the dictionary definition), then it's reasonable to say 'I have a preference to not play with anyone who has done any sexual activity that I personally find distasteful'. How you police that I don't know, because some sexual activities don't fall into the category of bisexual. Mrs | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I had my cock sucked at a club once by a guy but i have no interest in having sex with a guy so state in my profile that I'm orally bi if people don't want to meet me that's fine If it suits you to share on your profile that one particular sexual activity, that's your choice as it's your profile. I'm sure there are numerous sexual activities that you have indulged in that you choose not to share on your profile because it's either none of anybody else's business or it's not relevant. Sucking a cock is just one of many sexual activities. But if that needs to be singled out and disclosed, then what other sexual activities should be disclosed to protect those who might find it distasteful? Mrs" I was told by a couple that I should not be mailing straight couples because I've had my cock sucked by a guy and I should be on fabguys and not fabswingers | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"I had my cock sucked at a club once by a guy but i have no interest in having sex with a guy so state in my profile that I'm orally bi if people don't want to meet me that's fine If it suits you to share on your profile that one particular sexual activity, that's your choice as it's your profile. I'm sure there are numerous sexual activities that you have indulged in that you choose not to share on your profile because it's either none of anybody else's business or it's not relevant. Sucking a cock is just one of many sexual activities. But if that needs to be singled out and disclosed, then what other sexual activities should be disclosed to protect those who might find it distasteful? Mrs I was told by a couple that I should not be mailing straight couples because I've had my cock sucked by a guy and I should be on fabguys and not fabswingers" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. " Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"All of them, with dates, times, and location! but only the first instance of course... The answer to this and all similar threads is 'Preference' Oh come on, nobody itemises a list of the sexual activities that they have done in the past, for prospective sex partners, just in case that prospective partner finds something distasteful. But yes, if people are going to keep throwing out the word 'preference' (which on Fab seems to have developed an entirely different meaning that the dictionary definition), then it's reasonable to say 'I have a preference to not play with anyone who has done any sexual activity that I personally find distasteful'. How you police that I don't know, because some sexual activities don't fall into the category of bisexual. Mrs " Truth is its because you write it down, there is cold light of day thoughts and reality. At a club or party, you meet someone, you are both horny and stuff just happens, you don't care what they did with who last week. When you write it down, all those preferences pop into your mind and become hard fact. Equality is for the work place, has no place in hot sweety sex, and even less in fantasy. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Have you not thought about the additional dangers of STI when anal sex is involved." You are aware that there's a lot of women on here who enjoy anal as well, aren't you? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK?" Completely agree with you. So why there is an expectation to disclose things that are private is beyond me. Unless of course it's for health and safety. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK? Completely agree with you. So why there is an expectation to disclose things that are private is beyond me. Unless of course it's for health and safety. " It is impossible to logically define why people have certain sexual desires. They are what they are. A woman might not like the idea that a man who has had sex with another man would also want to have sex with her. 'He likes me, but he likes men too - that doesn't make me feel sexy' . So what? That is her feeling. How someone feels is just that. Trying to argue it away and change what they wish to do, or accusing people of bigotry and discrimination is just wrong. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"All of them, with dates, times, and location! but only the first instance of course... The answer to this and all similar threads is 'Preference' Oh come on, nobody itemises a list of the sexual activities that they have done in the past, for prospective sex partners, just in case that prospective partner finds something distasteful. But yes, if people are going to keep throwing out the word 'preference' (which on Fab seems to have developed an entirely different meaning that the dictionary definition), then it's reasonable to say 'I have a preference to not play with anyone who has done any sexual activity that I personally find distasteful'. How you police that I don't know, because some sexual activities don't fall into the category of bisexual. Mrs Truth is its because you write it down, there is cold light of day thoughts and reality. At a club or party, you meet someone, you are both horny and stuff just happens, you don't care what they did with who last week. When you write it down, all those preferences pop into your mind and become hard fact. Equality is for the work place, has no place in hot sweety sex, and even less in fantasy." So the solution is not to write it down, then there is nothing for anybody to worry about. What I don't know won't hurt, and what I don't know. That includes whether someone has anal sex with their wife, or a man who has ducked a cock. It's none of my business. If people wish to disclose sexual activities they enjoy, then of course that's fine and if that turns people off then that can't be helped. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" So the solution is not to write it down, then there is nothing for anybody to worry about. What I don't know won't hurt, and what I don't know. That includes whether someone has anal sex with their wife, or a man who has ducked a cock. It's none of my business. If people wish to disclose sexual activities they enjoy, then of course that's fine and if that turns people off then that can't be helped." So your suggestion is to lie to people who do find the information relevant? Nice. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" So the solution is not to write it down, then there is nothing for anybody to worry about. What I don't know won't hurt, and what I don't know. That includes whether someone has anal sex with their wife, or a man who has ducked a cock. It's none of my business. If people wish to disclose sexual activities they enjoy, then of course that's fine and if that turns people off then that can't be helped. So your suggestion is to lie to people who do find the information relevant? Nice." Yeah, cos every other aspect of everyone's profile is of course Gospel, isn't it? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK? Completely agree with you. So why there is an expectation to disclose things that are private is beyond me. Unless of course it's for health and safety. It is impossible to logically define why people have certain sexual desires. They are what they are. A woman might not like the idea that a man who has had sex with another man would also want to have sex with her. 'He likes me, but he likes men too - that doesn't make me feel sexy' . So what? That is her feeling. How someone feels is just that. Trying to argue it away and change what they wish to do, or accusing people of bigotry and discrimination is just wrong." That's fine, as long as i also have the same rights regarding activities that I might find distasteful. But the reality is that unless those sexual activities come under the heading of 'bisexual men', I would not be privy or entitled to such information. People feel they have the right to know if a man has ever sucked a cock prior to making a decision whether to have sex with him. By contrast I would be considered nuts if I said something like 'I will not have sex with any man who has every had anal sex with a female partner because I find that distasteful - just my preference'. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" So your suggestion is to lie to people who do find the information relevant? Nice. Yeah, cos every other aspect of everyone's profile is of course Gospel, isn't it? "Our profile is honest and we are honest about what we like and do with people we intend to meet, yes. Lying about something that is important to the other people in a meet is disgraceful imo. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK? Completely agree with you. So why there is an expectation to disclose things that are private is beyond me. Unless of course it's for health and safety. It is impossible to logically define why people have certain sexual desires. They are what they are. A woman might not like the idea that a man who has had sex with another man would also want to have sex with her. 'He likes me, but he likes men too - that doesn't make me feel sexy' . So what? That is her feeling. How someone feels is just that. Trying to argue it away and change what they wish to do, or accusing people of bigotry and discrimination is just wrong. That's fine, as long as i also have the same rights regarding activities that I might find distasteful. But the reality is that unless those sexual activities come under the heading of 'bisexual men', I would not be privy or entitled to such information. People feel they have the right to know if a man has ever sucked a cock prior to making a decision whether to have sex with him. By contrast I would be considered nuts if I said something like 'I will not have sex with any man who has every had anal sex with a female partner because I find that distasteful - just my preference'. " We all have the right to pick who we have sex with, regardless of what other people think. Your examples are as valid as any other, and if they were important to you, they can be discussed before hand, and the meet happen or not. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" Perhaps more people should mind their own business about other people historical sexual activity, and spend more time focusing on the here and now. Did you ask that couple to detail everything they had ever done just in case you found something they had done distasteful? Of course you didn't. It's their private business. Newsflash - people selecting a sexual partner 'is their own business' . If that doesn't match your opinion that that is fine. You can select your partners based on your wants and desires and other people can do the same. Would that be OK? Completely agree with you. So why there is an expectation to disclose things that are private is beyond me. Unless of course it's for health and safety. It is impossible to logically define why people have certain sexual desires. They are what they are. A woman might not like the idea that a man who has had sex with another man would also want to have sex with her. 'He likes me, but he likes men too - that doesn't make me feel sexy' . So what? That is her feeling. How someone feels is just that. Trying to argue it away and change what they wish to do, or accusing people of bigotry and discrimination is just wrong. That's fine, as long as i also have the same rights regarding activities that I might find distasteful. But the reality is that unless those sexual activities come under the heading of 'bisexual men', I would not be privy or entitled to such information. People feel they have the right to know if a man has ever sucked a cock prior to making a decision whether to have sex with him. By contrast I would be considered nuts if I said something like 'I will not have sex with any man who has every had anal sex with a female partner because I find that distasteful - just my preference'. " Can't really compare them, your analogy doesn't make the guy appear less masculine to women. It's difficult to reason with people who have biased opinions though. Like has been said over and over just accept and respect preferences no matter how silly you think they are. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Because I will have it in my mind he's had sex with blokes I really shouldn't have to explain myself should I? "Exactly this  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
" So the solution is not to write it down, then there is nothing for anybody to worry about. What I don't know won't hurt, and what I don't know. That includes whether someone has anal sex with their wife, or a man who has ducked a cock. It's none of my business. If people wish to disclose sexual activities they enjoy, then of course that's fine and if that turns people off then that can't be helped. So your suggestion is to lie to people who do find the information relevant? Nice." We don't state in or profile our full sexual history. We don't regard that as lying. We would prefer not to disclose our sexuality to the entirety of Fab, so we have chosen the middle ground. None of the categories suit us, and we will only volunteer information about our private sex life where relevant. When we used to use Craig's List there was no box tick for sexuality. It was never relevant for what we were looking for at the time, and I'm don't recall anybody finding it relevant. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
| back to top |  |
