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What's the best lie you've been told?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok there's bound to be the married guys saying they are single...

Any good ones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How they really don't want to fuck me

(Tongue in cheek for those that possibly don't understand my humour)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liverpool is a football team.After the last game and over 30 year's following them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm stunning

I will never buy that line from anyone off the internet, would even be dubious of those words from my Husband.

Makes it even more interesting when they haven't even seen my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, the pics are recent"

Translated that meant "within the last 10 years"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never done that before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How they really don't want to fuck me

(Tongue in cheek for those that possibly don't understand my humour)"

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

That the kid was mine ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a lie here but one that I heard that was quite funny at the time.

I used to work for an accountancy firm and one of the audit team had to go away and stay in a hotel.

He came back to the office and put in his expense claim. The expense claim contained a charge for 'private movie 9.99'

His manager realised that this was not your usual movie and questioned him about it.

He claimed that he was in room 222. Had fallen asleep and laid on the remote control - on the 2 button. This had then taken him to channel 222, the porn channel which then required you to enter your room number to purchase the film.

He didn't get it signed off

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By *est Wales WifeCouple
over a year ago

Near Carmarthen

A rich elitist government telling us 'we are all in it together?'

closely followed by £350m a week will go to the NHS instead of the European Union if we leave the EU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A rich elitist government telling us 'we are all in it together?'

closely followed by £350m a week will go to the NHS instead of the European Union if we leave the EU"

The rich and powerful piss on us and media tells us it's raining

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"It won't hurt much"

From a Dr shortly before pulling a mangled leg out from under a motorbike, They used the same lie when putting a dislocated thumb & shoulder back in place.

What? You were thinking anal? Tut pure filth you lot

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""It won't hurt much"

From a Dr shortly before pulling a mangled leg out from under a motorbike, They used the same lie when putting a dislocated thumb & shoulder back in place.

What? You were thinking anal? Tut pure filth you lot

S"

I was told that before a rectal examination. Then she drove a horse and coaches into my ring

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

I promise I won't cum in your mouth

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

"If you pick your nose, you're brain will eventually fall out"

Fuck you Uncle Tommy, I didn't pick my nose for years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""It won't hurt much"

From a Dr shortly before pulling a mangled leg out from under a motorbike, They used the same lie when putting a dislocated thumb & shoulder back in place.

What? You were thinking anal? Tut pure filth you lot

S"

Oh God...popped my own thumb out and back in once...and my shoulder ( that was the end of rugby for me) - oh God the pain!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy that just said he has an 11inch vibrating cock !!

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

' I'm not looking to meet anyone else'

'Lol you are always on fab'

'It's on my browser I'm not really on'

....... piss my pants laughting

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

I divorced your father because he wouldn't take you and your sister to Thorpe Park one weekend

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The guy that just said he has an 11inch vibrating cock !! "

And there was me concerned in case it dropped off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're the babies daddy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy from The Wonder Years grew up to be Marilyn Manson.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

My ex husband told me he was faithful...

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton


"Ok there's bound to be the married guys saying they are single...

Any good ones?"

That they only soft swing lol.

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By *imandHerNottsCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

I was told by a single guy that he had a potion that each time you dip your dick in to it, it would grow 1/4" and that it works up to 32 times!

He said for every time he got to fuck my Mrs I could have a free dip!!!

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

A guy told me he had been hit by a car and was in hospital. Apparently it was my fault for dumping him

I found out the next day he had been out on the lash with his mates at the exact time he was apparently lying in a hospital bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A rich elitist government telling us 'we are all in it together?'

closely followed by £350m a week will go to the NHS instead of the European Union if we leave the EU

The rich and powerful piss on us and media tells us it's raining "

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

That hot water and caffeine neutralise alcohol so you make Irish coffee as strong as you want and not get d*unk....

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Only this One, no others

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham


"The guy from The Wonder Years grew up to be Marilyn Manson."
madly tho that ones true his realnames Brian Warner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone once told me that they had fell asleep on the sofa with the remote control under them, then whilst moving in their sleep, knocked the tv onto the porn channel, then accidentally hit the purchase button. Then accidentally put the PIN number in to confirm purchase.

Not just on one night, over several nights in a month.

They seriously thought I would believe that....

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By *angerman85Man
over a year ago

preston

Had a guy who worked for me that turned up late one morning . I asked where he'd been , he said he went to bed the night before went to sleep and had an out of body experience n that his spirit didn't get back till late that morning ! Needless to say he doesn't work for me anymore !!

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham


"The guy from The Wonder Years grew up to be Marilyn Manson. madly tho that ones true his realnames Brian Warner"

Appatently that was josh saviano the Manson thing is a myth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"' I'm not looking to meet anyone else'

'Lol you are always on fab'

'It's on my browser I'm not really on'

....... piss my pants laughting "

Must have heard this a million times..... why do they bother??? Ha ha haaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That a guy was a virgin...was he fuck lol

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

All the porn on the computer was put there by a virus.

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By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

An ex fb saying he only barebacked with his wife then I discover he does it everywhere.

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