FabSwingers.com forum: WHY DONT THEY DELETE

By *ustme6 OP Man
over a year ago

tamworth

If women dont delete a message immediately but leave it unanswered...does it meant they are not interested or just considering other offers....Would be a good one for us overly undernumbered guys to know....

Ladies answers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it just to annoy you all haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Jesus am I supposed to know the hidden code of practice ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it cos I'm lazy and can't be arsed deleting. I bulk delete every now and then. If you read something into that then that is your issue.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Depends on the lady we're all different so run out profiles that way

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I sometimes leave a message in my inbox to come back to later. Christ, you can't expect a reply instantly!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I give 'read' and 'unread' messages two weeks to lull around my outbox, then delete them. Don't let it wind you up mate, it's unlikely to be personal. Think about fishermen; they cast out 4 or 5 rods into a lake, and then watch for a bite. After a while, if nothing's happened, they reel back in, pop on some fresh bait, and cast out again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do it just to annoy you all haha"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If women dont delete a message immediately but leave it unanswered...does it meant they are not interested or just considering other offers....Would be a good one for us overly undernumbered guys to know....

Ladies answers?"

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

I actually had a quick peak at a message yesterday then marked it unread as he was definitely worth replying too. Unfortunately he noticed I'd peaked then sent me a rather vile message about being rude etc etc ! Needless to say it went no further after that

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP, you've only been on here by s couple of months, and obviously still have alot to learn about how this site works.

Simply put, some ladies get inundated with messages and will take their time to work their way through the messages they receive. Add in the messages they might get each day, and their In Box gets overloaded.

They'll have their own lives to lead, and not just waiting to reply to your message!

Give it time; you have to possess extreme patience on this site.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I deal with my messages as and when I see fit

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't delete any messages, even if I have no intention of meeting the sender.

Sally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes cus I'm lazy sometimes cus I may wanna revisit at a later time..

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By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

Hull

If you delete as you read them guys hound you. Best to leave it a few days then delete or let it be pushed off the bottom of the inbox to avoid blocking half the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As its possible to read then mark as un-read is the mark un-read button a cope out ?

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By *oinMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

After sending a message I delete sent messages and think nothing more of it if I get a reply then happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sorry about replies me dear. Nothing else matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may want to reply to it later - ie I was impatient and wanted to read it - but really didn't have time to properly send a reply to it

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By *mberandrewCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I instantly delete messages when it is clear the sender hasn't read our profile. We get inundated with messages and clearly state in our profile that to stand out you must:

a) Make an effort.

b) Don't use text-speak.

Otherwise I leave the message as we may consider it later. Normally we don't because most are just so dull and lacking in personality.

If I could offer one piece of advice to single guys on this site it would be to make a real effort with your replies to show you have personality and humour - that's the biggest turn-on, not a cock shot with a 'hey how r u'.......

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By *ustme6 OP Man
over a year ago

tamworth

..........eternally waiting for that moment......

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

if they don't reply is all you need to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone sends us a message sometimes I read it but won't answer until Shaz is here also as Shaz don't always feel like reading lots of messages when she's had a tough day it can be a couple of days before we answer..

If someone can't wait and gets grumpy/nasty waiting a couple of days then they probably not who we would of wanted to meet anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/17 06:40:04]

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

Bullet dodged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/17 12:06:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that's rather interesting.

You see, if I see that a message I have sent is still unread, yet the recipient has been logging on regularly, I take it that they have absolutely no interest in me whatsoever and / or they may be either fake or a timewaster - and therefore block them - to prevent me from messaging them again. I certainly wouldn't send any message (vile or otherwise) about a message being read and then marked unread or whatever like that.

If I see a message has been read, and not deleted, then I consider that they may not be uninterested.

Just goes to show how we all use our profiles differently.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

I've done that before when someone really catches my eye I read it but perhaps I'm not in a position to write a lengthy reply so unread to reply later on and like you they are straight on it and writing something rude !

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By *ustme6 OP Man
over a year ago

tamworth

For the record.......I never write anythng rude...If its ignored, its ignored...cant imaginewhy anyone would follow up with a rude response ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

once a message is sent it's out of your hands, why worry what the receiver chooses to do with it, i don't understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

Exactly what I did. I had every intention of replying to him and seeing if we clicked but he had to go and have a fit ! As someone said earlier I think I dodged a bullet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

That was a lucky escape for you and he will be kicking himself more. That should be your test from now on to out the tossers

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By *ovely_and_HimselfCouple
over a year ago

North of Derby

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

It's very rare i answer any messages straight away, i discovered a while back that it certainly acts as another filter... The amount of 'true' colours that can come out when having to wait a day or two for a reply is astonishing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies answers?"

Means they are flooded with messages and can't keep up.

As a couple if we open our mailbox to men we get 100+ messages a day, so dread to think what singles ladies have to deal with.

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

"After sending a message I delete sent messages and think nothing more of it if I get a reply then happy days

"
that's a wise way of working

nothing worse than getting a message saying I messaged you 2 days ago, what's your thoughts!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

The only thing that's of any importance is if you get a reply, the rest is simply not worth fussing about.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Ladies answers?

Delete all sent messages then you won't have to worry about it

I do this too I tend to wait a good week before responding if I'm interested

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By *vadownMan
over a year ago

Wickham

"Now that's rather interesting.

If I see a message has been read, and not deleted, then I consider that they may not be uninterested.

Just goes to show how we all use our profiles differently."

This also for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do it just to annoy you all haha"

Seems to be working.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Until you get a reply, she's not interested. Now close your sent mailbox and go do something productive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just delete all the ones I send and then delete them. And to be honest, I don't send loads either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has a couple one of us might read the message then mark it unread so the other can see we've had new messages. Sometimes one of us can log on a couple of times through the day. So it's not we're being rude or making anyone wait we just like to reply together. Even if it's a single guy we both read the message before a reply is sent.

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

. . . . :)

Because we read messages and then mark them as unread sometimes because we want to come back to them and read them again. Maybe because they need more consideration.

Couples will often read a message and then mark it unread for their partner to read.

Also it's easier to save a message by leaving it unread and just delete those you want to delete with two clicks and come back to the unreads later.

Or it could be non of those and it's a conspiracy o0f something or other lol.

Cat X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a mixture of these so it depends on how the person uses their mailbox I guess. I hadn't thought of marking messages unread when I've read them but also kind of use it as a filter. If the sender gets the hump and sends a rude message then they just get blocked.

I think you have to be patient as a guy on here but don't let it deter you OP. Hopefully you can see from the range of responses on here that people don't mean it personally or necessarily even think of how it looks to the sender.

As a single bi lady, I can sometimes have 50+ new messages and will often read some of them briefly and reply later on.

Don't sweat it ?? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have so many sat in my inbox that I simply don't have time to read them all. I should block delete the messages I suppose, but they do disappear eventually of their own accord.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We leave them,so the other can read it ,if its of any interest.

Usually we just delete any we aren't interested in.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete or ignore any one who clearly hasn't read our profile properly, anyone who isn't bi or anyone who is just rude.

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By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

Generally I instantly delete if I'm not interested. If I don't delete and don't reply it's because I don't have time to reply or I want to revisit the message/profile

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

We see our profile as our first message (or an introduction) to the person looking, so if they then contact us without reading what we've wrote, why would we read what they wrote to us, it's as simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I read messages and don't reply immediately. Might be on phone and someone comes over, or on my way somewhere. Plus if someone has the courtesy to read my profile and send a well considered message I like to reply in the same manner which takes time n thought. Sometimes I'm replying and my kid will call or a friend messages. There's always a reason. It's not for the pick of the bunch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to read and delete if I am not going to take it further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't delete any messages, even if I have no intention of meeting the sender.

Sally"
I agree she a nice lady and a lovely couples since i join they chatted to me.

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By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

I opened a message went to reply and my phone rang. I took the call but in the meantime the guy had messaged again saying I was rude reading his message and not replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now that's rather interesting.

If I see a message has been read, and not deleted, then I consider that they may not be uninterested.

Just goes to show how we all use our profiles differently."

That's kind of the way I look at it. Deleting makes it pretty clear that there's no interest, I almost always block to make sure I don't hassle again (I can have the memory of a flea).

But I do feel that if there's a spark of interest and that's why a message has been left open, even a brief "Frantic you're on my very long long list" reply is simply good manners. Yes a little effort but I really don't see why that should be such an issue!

And I have been known to chase once or twice...and that's bitten me on the bum once or twice. My loss but I genuinely don't see why (once the "wannafux" are ed out) being on a swinging site should absolve one from good manners.

Signed, grumpy old git

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I'm sure it's already been said, deal with the people that reply - that's it.

I may pick up and read a leaflet posted through my letterbox, then leave it on the side for 2 weeks to go out with the recycling. If someone's interested they'll reply.

I don't understand the fascination or drama in trying to read into someone not replying. Seems pretty obvious to me?? - if you said hello to someone at a bar and they turned around and just stared at you, how long do you sit there before you think they do t want to speak?

Move on.

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By *ornylady71Woman
over a year ago

near Bury

"Sometimes I read messages and don't reply immediately. Might be on phone and someone comes over, or on my way somewhere. Plus if someone has the courtesy to read my profile and send a well considered message I like to reply in the same manner which takes time n thought. Sometimes I'm replying and my kid will call or a friend messages. There's always a reason. It's not for the pick of the bunch.

Yes me too, but some people don't understand I have a life other than Fab, then get arsy when you don't reply in 30 mins or so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It means they haven't replied to your message for whatever reason. I really think more should start deleting their sent box and not worrying about what has happened to the message. You've sent it, cool. Go have a wank or something.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are."

That's the sort of self entitlement a lot of the folk here hate.

You'll either get a reply or you won't but I guarantee, if you sent the second message telling people to reply, even those considering you will then change their minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are."

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sure it's already been said, deal with the people that reply - that's it.

I may pick up and read a leaflet posted through my letterbox, then leave it on the side for 2 weeks to go out with the recycling. If someone's interested they'll reply.

Move on.

Great way of looking at it, I'm just imagining lots of women in a pub looking at one guy and he's just waiting for a reply...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x"

I'm digging in on this one. A delete, cool. Gals get lots of messages. Copy and paste no thanks are polite but if you're too busy I have no probs with a delete.

But if there is a basic spark of interest, basic manners count.

I'm sorry, call me old-fashioned but manners matter. Nothing whatever to do with being entitled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x

I'm digging in on this one. A delete, cool. Gals get lots of messages. Copy and paste no thanks are polite but if you're too busy I have no probs with a delete.

But if there is a basic spark of interest, basic manners count.

I'm sorry, call me old-fashioned but manners matter. Nothing whatever to do with being entitled.

So why is a delete ok but not an ignore? They might not say no thanks because it opens them up to questions like 'why?' And 'am I not your type? What is your type?' Etc and abuse.. I speak from experience as people have really said this to us

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x

I'm digging in on this one. A delete, cool. Gals get lots of messages. Copy and paste no thanks are polite but if you're too busy I have no probs with a delete.

But if there is a basic spark of interest, basic manners count.

I'm sorry, call me old-fashioned but manners matter. Nothing whatever to do with being entitled.

Oh it so is. If the reader of your message finds you attractive and wants to meet you, they will make contact. That contact may be immediate or weeks later and it is not up to you to demand when.

Send your message and then just move on, you'll get a reply or you won't, but as I said previously, you risk alienating people of you tell them they must reply.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x

I'm digging in on this one. A delete, cool. Gals get lots of messages. Copy and paste no thanks are polite but if you're too busy I have no probs with a delete.

But if there is a basic spark of interest, basic manners count.

I'm sorry, call me old-fashioned but manners matter. Nothing whatever to do with being entitled.

Oh it so is. If the reader of your message finds you attractive and wants to meet you, they will make contact. That contact may be immediate or weeks later and it is not up to you to demand when.

Send your message and then just move on, you'll get a reply or you won't, but as I said previously, you risk alienating people of you tell them they must reply."

even if you delete you often get someone messaging again asking 'i'm not for you then?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to get round that by blocking if I'm deleted. Totally valid point.

And it's not as though I'm expecting Yes Pleases. Simply a Hi thanks for that, busy here, will say hi when i have time.

And for all those who say But I'm so busy...you've got time to post on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 minutes isn't the issue...it's a couple of days or more.

I'll sometimes send a 2nd message saying "please reply if only briefly OR delete/block, I won't mind a bit". Maddening when that is opened but not acted on!

On the pizza flyer point....I tend to hope I'm more appealing than Dominos. My pizzas certainly are.

Ffs just assume that if you don't get a reply they're not interested. Why do men believe they're entitled to a reply?

H x

I'm digging in on this one. A delete, cool. Gals get lots of messages. Copy and paste no thanks are polite but if you're too busy I have no probs with a delete.

But if there is a basic spark of interest, basic manners count.

I'm sorry, call me old-fashioned but manners matter. Nothing whatever to do with being entitled.

Oh it so is. If the reader of your message finds you attractive and wants to meet you, they will make contact. That contact may be immediate or weeks later and it is not up to you to demand when.

Send your message and then just move on, you'll get a reply or you won't, but as I said previously, you risk alienating people of you tell them they must reply.

even if you delete you often get someone messaging again asking 'i'm not for you then?'"

Yeah that's also true. Some people just don't get the message

H x

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

I try to get round that by blocking if I'm deleted. Totally valid point.

And it's not as though I'm expecting Yes Pleases. Simply a Hi thanks for that, busy here, will say hi when i have time.

And for all those who say But I'm so busy...you've got time to post on here

i am busy posting on here.

sorry i don't devote my time to men i don't have any interest in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to get round that by blocking if I'm deleted. Totally valid point.

And it's not as though I'm expecting Yes Pleases. Simply a Hi thanks for that, busy here, will say hi when i have time.

And for all those who say But I'm so busy...you've got time to post on here

i am busy posting on here.

sorry i don't devote my time to men i don't have any interest in."

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Ladies answers?"

I usually wait till they have gone off line then delete.

usually stops them coming back with A WHY!

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By *imandHerNottsCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

"Would be a good one for us overly undernumbered guys to know...."

Overly undernumbered!!!

My head nearly exploded trying to process that lol

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

If I have over 100 messages in my inbox I havnt got the time to reply to every single one .and when I do delete one back comes a stroppy reply asking why I've deleted it.whatever you do you can't win on here

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I try to get round that by blocking if I'm deleted. Totally valid point.

And it's not as though I'm expecting Yes Pleases. Simply a Hi thanks for that, busy here, will say hi when i have time.

And for all those who say But I'm so busy...you've got time to post on here

Your self entitlement is showing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As is your arrogance my dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As is your arrogance my dear."

Reason number 1 why you're not getting replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That last was posted as a deliberate wind-up.

And although my meets are more numerous than my veris but fewer than I would like, I'm sure my attitude has ruled out a fair few folk. That's my loss.

But I still stick with it. Manners make life sweeter, if you like the attention put in the time. Over and out from me on this one I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

were all in the same boat were most of my mail gets deleted bar four people who did reply since i joined...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sound like a stalker! Checking sent mail......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies answers?"

Most women on here are shallow as fuck, they're always looking for better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't send messages!! Outcome and results are the same but with less frustration!!!

And if every bloke adopted this strategy the ladies would contact the ones they liked and those guys would know they were desired!

Maybe guys should have the facility to message removed or available on a pay as you go to reduce traffic and everyone's frustrations.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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Ladies answers?

Most women on here are shallow as fuck, they're always looking for better!

single women who want a lot of sex are always going to be looking for more, not necessarily better, because men tend not to want a lot of sex and are always looking for the next fuck.

i've dropped my standards and regretted it coz lesser looking guys seem to be just the same as the better looking ones.

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