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Know one in real life know your lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "

I think it becomes easier as you build up a circle of friends in this world.

I don't really have too much separation between the two (I don't need to), but even so don't talk too much to my non-FAB friends about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "

We've made friends with swingers! We socialise even when play isn't on the agenda and our true friends know what we do and don't care.

If you really feel the need to hide who you are from your friends because they would judge you, are they actually your friends or more just acquaintances?

Over the years we have significantly trimmed our friends circle and let the judgmental types drift away slowly x

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I keep this from my family, friends and colleagues. If I feel the need to talk about any Fab issues I can bring it up with my Fab Friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "

I've never discussed any aspect of our sex life with my friends so never felt the need to discuss this part of it either. I do sometimes nearly say something that would make them wonder about me .

You can always chat in the forum or arrange to meet some people socially if you have things you'd like to discuss with others

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

My close friends know I'm on here and they are quite accepting. I don't think it's something to be ashamed of as nobody is being hurt by what you are doing. You have to be happy in life and if they are real friends they won't judge you for doing what makes you happy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I felt exactly the same as you so I told one close trusted friend (my best friend). Then I was approached at the school gates by a mum telling me that another person had told her that me and hubby were swingers. I spoke to the person who it had come from (who is friends with my best friend) and you guessed it, my so called best friend ha got d*unk one night and blabbed. We deleted our old profile and stayed quiet for a bit but what hurt the most was that she really wouldn't acknowledge that she'd done anything wrong ("If I did say something then I didn't mean to"). I haven't spoken to her since. Like others have said, as you build up a circle of swinger friends then it makes it a lot easier. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely keep our interest in this lifestyle far far away from our friends.

Heard one too many comments from them about the subject which confirmed how they feel about it.

As others have said, there'll probably be a few on here willing to listen if you need a chat xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a good friend who knows about this life. He enjoys hearing my stories I think but alas he moved overseas last year so it's a once every few months download/confessional on his occasional return.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Most of the people in my life know, and all have been accepting of it, just ask that I'm careful doing it, which I know is coming from a place of genuine concern not judgement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned, get yourself some friends already into the lifestyle.

Less judgement then, plus if you fall out? You won't have to worry about it being plastered all over social media

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I felt exactly the same as you so I told one close trusted friend (my best friend). Then I was approached at the school gates by a mum telling me that another person had told her that me and hubby were swingers. I spoke to the person who it had come from (who is friends with my best friend) and you guessed it, my so called best friend ha got d*unk one night and blabbed. We deleted our old profile and stayed quiet for a bit but what hurt the most was that she really wouldn't acknowledge that she'd done anything wrong ("If I did say something then I didn't mean to"). I haven't spoken to her since. Like others have said, as you build up a circle of swinger friends then it makes it a lot easier. xxx"

This is exactly what im afraid of. If i tell one friend even know i think i can trust them. I would prob come out and i cant bare that to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody in the real world knows I'm bi and I want to keep it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard work keeping it a secret!

We have to be ultra secretive because of my wife's job.

We've told one of our friends and that's it.

We are running out of reasons for nights out to give our chief babysitters/in laws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a couple of close friends who I trust to keep it hush hush until I'm comfortable opening up to everyone else so I just talk to them about it.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We keep this part of our lives a secret,like others have said we chat to friends on here if we have any issues/Need to.

Miss

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Several, it dosnt bother us and makes going drinking seperatly with vanilla friends a lot easier, as no panicked friend texts saying me or her have pulled in a pub and are cheating

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

The only people we speak with regarding this lifestyle are those who are involved and don't see the need or want to speak with anybody else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would not want our friends or family to know of our Fab life.

We are looking forward to being able to share fab stuff with fab friends, but have been unable to so far, as we've been too occupied with friends and family!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

One of my work colleagues does as she's on here too lol Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "

id much rather socialise with other swingers as they know what's what...

friends in vanilla world may be unfairly judgemental so I wouldn't bother telling any of them

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "

My non-swing friends know what I do and have in fact found out I'm not the only one to be curious about it or to have tried it. I have also made a circle of friends in the swing scene that are now just friends, no need to differentiate as we go out and do normal things with each other, also friends with them on Facebook. I know for some they would rather keep it separate, but I have found some really good friends in the scene as well as friends outside of it who are open minded enough to understand it.

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

we have a great meet lots of fun but no one to tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a couple of friends who know im here. And that's fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One of my work colleagues does as she's on here too lol Mrs"

Id love that. Just a girlie friend to chat things through with lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been struggling a bit with this. My friends don't know about me & hubby's new found lifestyle. Im finding it hard having know one to talk to about it other than hubby. My friends wouldn't be open minded enough i don't think. How do you all deal with it? Or are you quite happy without people in your real world knowing? Hope this has made sense. "
I have a big circle of friends inside the lifestyle but also I don't hide my lifestyle choice. Most of my good friends outside of swinging know its my lifestyle choice and thats that.

Did cause my friend at slimming world to fall about in fits of giggles when we were told to write down everything that passes our lips this week...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope no one does in our 'real' lives

No one would be remotely surprised about either of us being into this though, we are blatant filthbags!

Ruby

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