FabSwingers.com forum: Maybe Why We Find It Hard Here

By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

So we hoof it to a club tonight, on a promise but don't mind if they no show as we like the place anyway. We've been plenty of times before, usual mix of new & old faces, nice mixed age crowd.

Sure enough meet didn't show but it probably wouldn't have mattered if they had..

Because although we were entertaining each other with chat & our usual general pisstaking we really couldn't be arsed with anyone else.

Arrived at the club around 9:30 back home in jimmijams with a cup of tea watching Star Trek by 11:30

Does anybody else get like this? We literally after a couple of drinks looked at each other and knew what was coming....almost in unison

"I want to go home"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep...I've been in swingers clubs and not seen anyone I want to play with - but I never go with the expectation. Sometimes I just have a good old giggle...practice the stand up comedy or end up counselling someone. If it's dire in there yes I just go home .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had crazy hot nights at a club and some nights we got there and realised we just wanted each other. Some nights have ended up with us just using the club setting to Fuck each other senseless without even looking at others. The last time we were at ab fabs, we were totally wrapped up in each other and about to go home when we both spotted a guy and simultaneously went "I want THAT one!" Ended up in a truly spectacular 3 way. Never know what's going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lots of nights like that, I think I'm getting old before my time because sometimes for me it's about 8pm I start missing my sofa and my knitting

haha

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By *rShinyKnickersMan
over a year ago

BARRY

...hurr hur..you said "hard"....

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Yeah, I've felt like that. Of course you can never predict what might happen at a club but nonetheless it can be very deflating to have gone to a lot of effort getting ready and travelling there, only to feel disappointed when you realise there's no-one else there you gel with well enough to have fun. I'm also very susceptible to the vibe in a club ... sometimes it's almost tangible and really helps get you in the mood. Other times, most often if it's not busy, the atmosphere can feel very flat which has the opposite effect and doesn't help someone like me who doesn't have much self confidence to start with. The lack of a happy, fun, naughty and carefree vibe turns me off almost immediately.

It's such a gamble

.... and more so, I think, for couples where you both have to be feeling it to make the night a success.

But bottom line is, you don't know until you try - and the good nights make up for the 'meh' ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a non sexual / swinging point of bid I can't relate to that scenario on a regular night out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly what happened to us.

But we were home and in PJs by 10.30.

Either getting too old or v another meh night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At your ages I was out 5 nights a week till 3am then at work for 9.

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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

"At your ages I was out 5 nights a week till 3am then at work for 9. "

Lol, i'm 55 next month grandad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At your ages I was out 5 nights a week till 3am then at work for 9.

Lol, i'm 55 next month grandad

I maybe 60 but I keep fit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember an actress once described Hollywood being like an Ice Cream with shit on it. I sometimes think that the whole swinging experience can be a bit like that. You endure a lot of shitty, dispiriting, non eventful experiences, just to occasionally to be completely surprised by a wonderful, unexpected, random, deliciously sexy encounter.Always travelling in hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/02/17 00:56:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/02/17 00:59:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes happened the other week in Portsmouth.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"There's a club if you'd like to go,

You might meet somebody, who really loves you,

But you go,

And you stand on your own,

And you leave on your own,

And you go home,

And you cry and you want to die...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's great that you are in tune with each other

We can read each other like books and our thinking is so alike it scares us as times

The real fun and games start with couples when they are on completely different pages - mentally &/or sexually

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford

We have gone to a club and left within a couple of hours.

The company was good but neither of us were in the zone so we decided to just go and get pissed instead.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"So we hoof it to a club tonight, on a promise but don't mind if they no show as we like the place anyway. We've been plenty of times before, usual mix of new & old faces, nice mixed age crowd.

Sure enough meet didn't show but it probably wouldn't have mattered if they had..

Because although we were entertaining each other with chat & our usual general pisstaking we really couldn't be arsed with anyone else.

Arrived at the club around 9:30 back home in jimmijams with a cup of tea watching Star Trek by 11:30

Does anybody else get like this? We literally after a couple of drinks looked at each other and knew what was coming....almost in unison

"I want to go home"

not sure if its the same with me but I am suffering from apathy when it comes to playing with anyone new .

I have three play partner not one of the dynamics is under three years old .

for the last two years almost I've suffered from apathy due to the loss of a superb sub no exceptional sub .since that day I've been suffering from what can only be described as apathy which has now found its self mixed up with possible a lack of inspiration. I just cant seem to be inspired by anyone that may change as I have been in contact with someone who does stir my mind , my more teasing playful posts are a by product of that stirring of that I'm certain . before I lost that sub I used to spank at private parties and toy play to but never fuck, when I had that exceptional sub such behaviour didn't drain me it was pure fun but once I never had her to indulge my dark side with such behaviour began to drain me drain my enthusiasm for such fun leaving me thinking why when I never used to think why am I doing this .

sometimes the behaviour of people on here doesn't help my apathy ether as it remind of the negatives of the sex meets world at a time when I'm feeling apathy towards it all /

not sure if this helps op but I kind of think I understand you own plight a bit because of my own xxx

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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

Thanks for the responses everybody, we've chatted and are pretty sure it was a buildup of negatives from here, just a couple of recent hiccups maybe ramping up the apathy levels. Then although we thought it really didn't matter whether we had a no show maybe it did and that was the straw that broke the camels back as they say..

Anyway, Star Trek watched, tea drank, H asleep, profile changes later today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see this as a bad thing at all. You're quite happy to both the round and say bollocks to this we're off.

It's when you need to stay and play that it becomes a problem in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""There's a club if you'd like to go,

You might meet somebody, who really loves you,

But you go,

And you stand on your own,

And you leave on your own,

And you go home,

And you cry and you want to die...."

Well thats cheered me up.

What a happy song

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So we hoof it to a club tonight, on a promise but don't mind if they no show as we like the place anyway. We've been plenty of times before, usual mix of new & old faces, nice mixed age crowd.

Sure enough meet didn't show but it probably wouldn't have mattered if they had..

Because although we were entertaining each other with chat & our usual general pisstaking we really couldn't be arsed with anyone else.

Arrived at the club around 9:30 back home in jimmijams with a cup of tea watching Star Trek by 11:30

Does anybody else get like this? We literally after a couple of drinks looked at each other and knew what was coming....almost in unison

"I want to go home"

We thought it was just us!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We never arrange to meet anyone but have had days when we just felt like playing with each other only so we just use the facilities and keep ourselves to ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's quite normal. This world is a roller coaster anyway. There's always good stuff and shit stuff happening and you certainly never know how a club night will pan out

We're happy to just fuck each other if there are no shows/no one of interest, however pyjamas and a cup of tea sounds wonderful!

This is mostly an older scene anyway and I find going out in general hard work, the older I get.

comfort and sleep are so enticing!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had this too sometimes its just not going to happen

But which star trek was it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""There's a club if you'd like to go,

You might meet somebody, who really loves you,

But you go,

And you stand on your own,

And you leave on your own,

And you go home,

And you cry and you want to die...."

"
LOL WHAT AQ QUALITY REPLY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""There's a club if you'd like to go,

You might meet somebody, who really loves you,

But you go,

And you stand on your own,

And you leave on your own,

And you go home,

And you cry and you want to die...."

LOL WHAT AQ QUALITY REPLY

Agreed! Got it In my head now!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""There's a club if you'd like to go,

You might meet somebody, who really loves you,

But you go,

And you stand on your own,

And you leave on your own,

And you go home,

And you cry and you want to die...."

LOL WHAT AQ QUALITY REPLY

Agreed! Got it In my head now!

Ruby"

Class

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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

"We've had this too sometimes its just not going to happen

But which star trek was it?"

We have been going through The Next Generation Series, Last ever two episodes last night. DS9 next but while H is not here as she's not a fan

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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I think it's quite normal. This world is a roller coaster anyway. There's always good stuff and shit stuff happening and you certainly never know how a club night will pan out

We're happy to just fuck each other if there are no shows/no one of interest, however pyjamas and a cup of tea sounds wonderful!

This is mostly an older scene anyway and I find going out in general hard work, the older I get.

comfort and sleep are so enticing!

Ruby"

Even the "Let's go fuck each other" wasn't there

We were both more "Let's go home get dome naughty sweet treats on the way & watch TV.

Pleased to report the disapearance of "Let's fuck" was a short term thing though

Glad its not just us though, thanks peeps

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

[Removed by poster at 26/02/17 09:06:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's quite normal. This world is a roller coaster anyway. There's always good stuff and shit stuff happening and you certainly never know how a club night will pan out

We're happy to just fuck each other if there are no shows/no one of interest, however pyjamas and a cup of tea sounds wonderful!

This is mostly an older scene anyway and I find going out in general hard work, the older I get.

comfort and sleep are so enticing!

Ruby

Even the "Let's go fuck each other" wasn't there

We were both more "Let's go home get dome naughty sweet treats on the way & watch TV.

Pleased to report the disapearance of "Let's fuck" was a short term thing though

Glad its not just us though, thanks peeps

Comfort and sleep, warm home, creature comforts etc.

Its a no brainer for me .

Showing my age maybe

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Yes OP I'm there too every time I go to a club or party for quite some time now. I haven't had penetrative sex since before Christmas and decided action was needed so went to greedy girl night on Friday...I was head first into pussy again! Women don't cause me this apathy but men do and not one cock had even the slightest interest for me that night!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have no interest in meeting right now, a lot of stress in our lives and things pulling us in different directions and we'd honestly prefer to spend our downtime relaxing alone together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have found that since we rejoined we are just as happy not to play when we go out , unless something special comes up .

Is it apathy on our part ?

Not sure to be honest , but perhaps we may be all swung out !

It's great to have each other though , and we seem to want each other more and more as time goes by .

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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago

West Wales

Ahh well, not just us then

I think next time we just go with our gut & blow it out instead of trying to force it.

Thanks again everyone.

S&H

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We goto a club with ideas of what may be fun, but knowing we are more than happy just to play together.

Some nights it's just like any other night, you go out, get all dressed up and after a hr or two you just look at each other and go home.

We find its not company, club or other couples, it's just us.

Other nights we have gone out a bit tired saying "if it's crap or to quiet we will go home early" only to get home at 5am

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