FabSwingers.com forum: Grabbing someones attention

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it feels like you may be stalking individuals if you message twice without reply, But occasionally I have found sometimes you get a reply, It's most likely because of the amount of copy and paste messages people get! They end up deleting a bulk load without reading them first, Sometimes I do feel you really need to stand out and be persistent with people you like on here, Doesn't always work if they don't reply after the 2nd message good chance they never will. I wonder if others have had the same on here??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often find I miss messages first time round, so a reminder that your still interested is always good for me. Well that is as long as it's not the same as the first one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some days you get so many messages you don't notice some.so if you like someone don't give up after 1st.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two messages isn't stalking in our book. But 3 or more is getting that way.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I met a guy a few months ago who told me on meeting that I replied to his 6th message. I simply didn't see the others! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post s really reassuring, there's been some people I've messaged and it looks like they've not even read my messages as they're so inundated.

But when I message them again the site comes up with a little bit of text suggesting I don't try messaging them twice.

Having seen this thread I'm now encouraged to give things another go with some people.

Not sure I could send more then two messages without a reply though as I'd be really worried about pestering.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with a follow up message after a "reasonable" amount of time has passed (a few days or more at the very least) and wouldn't think that would be classed as stalkerish - anything less than that however it's borderline stalking/pestering!!

My better half (on her solo profile) has sometimes received follow up messages 20 mins or so after the first one demanding to know why she's not replied!! Which is just plain rude and arrogant!!

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

2 or 3 in the space of a couple of days might be a bit to much for some people, But depending what the message is there is nothing wrong with sending more as a lot of them get missed anyway, Its only when they get read without replying I take note and usually avoid sending anymore, What I do find funny is when its related to a forum thread/game and they just delete your message, I normally put that down to one half of a couple has posted in the thread and he other one has read your message or they are just being slightly ignorant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmm follow up messages. One guy I stopped counting at 10. He still sends them now. Must be around 30 he's sent. All ignored. I just can't be bothered to block

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

Yep after two message i wont send a third,

I know theres more men than women im sure women receive loads of messages a day, if its ment to be it will happend, i wont keep chasing, some messages i send are read and deleted it would be nice to get a reply, a thanks but no thanks would be nice or a even a in your dreams. Lol

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I replied to a second or third message a few years back. The guy didn't bombard, didn't get arsey when I didn't respond to his first message and figured he'd try again after a decent interval when the timing might be better. He was right; I'd aleady clocked him so when he messaged again and I was free to chat we took it from there. That was coming up for two years ago, he's still my regular squeeze and we have a couples profile as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah definitely agree with people multiple messages with a few days or a week can be overkill and stalkerish.

I think I'm definitely going to try again now with a few people I messaged a while back, fingers crossed

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

Hmmm, this has been interesting.

I have been quite strict in trying not to be annoying and therefore if my first message gets no response not trying again.

Maybe I need to rethink and send a second a week or so later, just in case.

I can't imagine that being classed as too pushy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm, this has been interesting.

I have been quite strict in trying not to be annoying and therefore if my first message gets no response not trying again.

Maybe I need to rethink and send a second a week or so later, just in case.

I can't imagine that being classed as too pushy."

Yeah I was of the same mind set but reading some of the posts on here has made me think again.

As long as you leave a decent amount of time it should be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I like a pic, then message if no reply wait a week or so then wink! If still nothing just move on plenty more fish in the sea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My general rule is no reply after the 2nd message move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading through these messages I can't help to wonder what goes through some men's minds when sending a second message...or even a third.

Whats your goal? "Please pick me".... Or something greater. Should you feel pride in the fact that they respond after you finally grab their attention on the 5th shot?.. . Come on. And don't come up with the oh they bulk deleted my first message so it isn't their fault. If you put your time and effort into typing a thoughtful message and a member can't be bothered to even open it, you should hold your head high and not give them any more of your time.... Not grovel for more!

Don't separate couples, men women, single not single etc. We are all people, all members of the same community. If someone wants you they will contact you. Guys-wouldn't it be nice if you were contacted first? How good would that feel? Pretty fucking good right? So grow a pair and make yourself stand out. You will get noticed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reading through these messages I can't help to wonder what goes through some men's minds when sending a second message...or even a third.

Was this a message to yourself???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through these messages I can't help to wonder what goes through some men's minds when sending a second message...or even a third.

Was this a message to yourself???"

This guy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twice is fine...it's those that message every day even though you've said no thanks or deleted several times before that are annoying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I get a second message bugging me about why I haven't replied to the first message, it usually results in a block..

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