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"Having read lots of your posts in the past Cali, I'm surprised by this post as you are always very positive, but I totally get what you are saying.....it's very easy to be judged , especially on a site like this.....and on occasion it does get to you....ands a guy on here it would be great if people would look beyond the guy thing and the stigma attached. And try to get to know the person behind the profile. I hope that makes sense lol. " yeah even mr is a little shocked that things affect me but despite my hard external front.. I am subject to normal emotions too. I just feel that if I am more the me that I was.. that its a little inappropriate. I do enjoy meeting couples together and having a more varied experience now but I always feel I must behave more like a partner and less like a slut. | |||
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"Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one and seldom are they a thing of beauty. Live your life the way you want too. The couples who don't want to meet because your into gb are probably just to scared they will have too much fun. I always thought that this scene was supposed to be judgement free..." been here long enough to know that sadly judgements are all over... it just knocks you. Now okay when we met prehaps I was over compensating a little for feeling unwanted but I tamed down.. and pulled back... and now am about as tame as a mouse.. but not because my partner requests it at all but because things others have said or done have meant I feel I am constantly having to think about how my actions reflect on us x | |||
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"You really should t worry about what other people think about you. It's your life to live how you want. It will put some people off, and others won't. Focus on the positive people and forget the rest. I'm judged harshly for being a "cheater", do I let it bother me? Not a chance. There are plenty of people on here who love the fact I'm a "cheater". Embrace who you, are, enjoy what you do, and stand tall and proud. " * damn typos...you really SHOULDN'T worry | |||
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"Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one and seldom are they a thing of beauty. Live your life the way you want too. The couples who don't want to meet because your into gb are probably just to scared they will have too much fun. I always thought that this scene was supposed to be judgement free..." | |||
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"Thanks. Ive realised from this its not so much the judging me that bothers me but judging us as a couple and the judgement towards my partner.. I guess its the feeling I need to protect his /our reputation and feel bad when people wont meet because of some percieved idea that I am more dirty in some way x" Hi Cali,sorry you are feeling this way,I always like your posts. I think there is still more judgement towards women who like group fun etc,then there is men. I know it's easy to say,but try and not let it bother you, we all like different things and fab allows you to explore it. Your relationship is no less because of it xx | |||
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"Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one and seldom are they a thing of beauty. Live your life the way you want too. The couples who don't want to meet because your into gb are probably just to scared they will have too much fun. I always thought that this scene was supposed to be judgement free... " Quote of the day!! Easier said than done but 'Be yourself for yourself and let others worry about themselves!' Some great advice in this thread!! | |||
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"Face it: we're women. We are supposed to love sex--but only within the confines of a committed relationship with one man. We are still judged for being raped or "choosing" to stay in an abusive relationship. We can sip wine or fancy cocktails but cause shock if we prefer pints or whisky. This is 2017 right???? In some areas only, I think. We STILL are judged when our preferences go against the norm. SO--we have the choice of either caring what others think or doing what we like and letting others form their own opinions. I try to go with the concept of: What anyone thinks of me is none of my business. If changing your life for others' approval suits your lifestyle, no harm done, but if it makes you act in a way that's not you, you're only losing your own enjoyment in life (generic "you" there, not specific to OP). "Well behaved women seldom make history."" So true unfortunately but it takes both man and women to change attitudes!! | |||
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"lt's easier for women to catch something from vaginal sex than a man and that is multiplied with many people involved. Just mechanics and size of orifices etc. Don't take it personally OP." I was told that at the gum clinic that women are more likely to catch something than men, especialy with multiple partners. | |||
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"lt's easier for women to catch something from vaginal sex than a man and that is multiplied with many people involved. Just mechanics and size of orifices etc. Don't take it personally OP." The man must have had it in the first place. | |||
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"lt's easier for women to catch something from vaginal sex than a man and that is multiplied with many people involved. Just mechanics and size of orifices etc. Don't take it personally OP. I was told that at the gum clinic that women are more likely to catch something than men, especialy with multiple partners." Yep. Women also get urine tract infection and bladder infections more, just comes with the territory. Anyone being penetrated is at a massive increased risk, including men. | |||
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"How does it go when you actually meet these people for fun? Just wondering as in my mind if I enjoy gb and am open-minded about it, and they are all uptight about that, then I would assume we were not very sexually compatible so I would avoid meeting anyway. As I wouldn't imagine the sex to be very good. Maybe that's too simplistic though as I am not part of a couple, I just have me to consider. It's a shame to let others negative attitudes change you though. Listen to your man, he's the one that loves and knows you xx" it doesn't get that far.. as not going to meet someone who looks down on me. A good point made is that maybe some feel that if I like group play that would just a couple be enough but it is a totally different dynamic and extremely different experience to the gg play. I Mean to be fair we tend to talk to other couples that like gg stuff as mostly that means we are compatible but its made me feel that as a single it was okay... but not now. Ive been struggling with this for quite a while now and feels much better to air it. X.. | |||
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"How does it go when you actually meet these people for fun? Just wondering as in my mind if I enjoy gb and am open-minded about it, and they are all uptight about that, then I would assume we were not very sexually compatible so I would avoid meeting anyway. As I wouldn't imagine the sex to be very good. Maybe that's too simplistic though as I am not part of a couple, I just have me to consider. It's a shame to let others negative attitudes change you though. Listen to your man, he's the one that loves and knows you xxit doesn't get that far.. as not going to meet someone who looks down on me. A good point made is that maybe some feel that if I like group play that would just a couple be enough but it is a totally different dynamic and extremely different experience to the gg play. I Mean to be fair we tend to talk to other couples that like gg stuff as mostly that means we are compatible but its made me feel that as a single it was okay... but not now. Ive been struggling with this for quite a while now and feels much better to air it. X.. " Don't let it bother you, it's your life, your choice how to live it! | |||
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"so what if he isn't enough for you, since when did one person have to be enough? what reputation you protecting? if it's one in the swinging world then most of the people judging are hypocrites anyway. they like sex too else they wouldn't be here. maybe look at being dirty as a good thing? i don't like being called a slut, slag, whatever, during sex but if guys know i enjoy a lot of sex with multiple partners...and that turns them on...well what is there to be ashamed of really? " see i dont think that wanting group sex has anything to do with my partner not being enough. He can leave me in a heap.. where as 20 guys wont.. as 121 sex with him is just anazing and satisfying.. i dont do 121 sex with others as it just doesn't do it for me. But i dont like people assuming anything. So i now behave more couples appropriate. Only meeting together etc.. less gg stuff. Mostly meeting couples together. X | |||
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"so what if he isn't enough for you, since when did one person have to be enough? what reputation you protecting? if it's one in the swinging world then most of the people judging are hypocrites anyway. they like sex too else they wouldn't be here. maybe look at being dirty as a good thing? i don't like being called a slut, slag, whatever, during sex but if guys know i enjoy a lot of sex with multiple partners...and that turns them on...well what is there to be ashamed of really? see i dont think that wanting group sex has anything to do with my partner not being enough. He can leave me in a heap.. where as 20 guys wont.. as 121 sex with him is just anazing and satisfying.. i dont do 121 sex with others as it just doesn't do it for me. But i dont like people assuming anything. So i now behave more couples appropriate. Only meeting together etc.. less gg stuff. Mostly meeting couples together. X " i didn't mean sex with him wasn't good or anything, just like one partner isn't enough because people like all kinds of things sexually, and if gg or gb is your thing too then obviously he isn't going to be enough for that. hope you get it sorted. i used to be shamed a lot and just learnt to not really care what people think unless they care about me and have my best interests at heart -and calling people names or making them feel bad is never in your best interests so far as i'm concerned. | |||
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"so what if he isn't enough for you, since when did one person have to be enough? what reputation you protecting? if it's one in the swinging world then most of the people judging are hypocrites anyway. they like sex too else they wouldn't be here. maybe look at being dirty as a good thing? i don't like being called a slut, slag, whatever, during sex but if guys know i enjoy a lot of sex with multiple partners...and that turns them on...well what is there to be ashamed of really? see i dont think that wanting group sex has anything to do with my partner not being enough. He can leave me in a heap.. where as 20 guys wont.. as 121 sex with him is just anazing and satisfying.. i dont do 121 sex with others as it just doesn't do it for me. But i dont like people assuming anything. So i now behave more couples appropriate. Only meeting together etc.. less gg stuff. Mostly meeting couples together. X i didn't mean sex with him wasn't good or anything, just like one partner isn't enough because people like all kinds of things sexually, and if gg or gb is your thing too then obviously he isn't going to be enough for that. hope you get it sorted. i used to be shamed a lot and just learnt to not really care what people think unless they care about me and have my best interests at heart -and calling people names or making them feel bad is never in your best interests so far as i'm concerned." Thanks. I think group sex is a different thing. I used to think one guy could never be enough.. and here I am eating my own words... i never cared as a single what others thought. Even now its not really what they think of me... more how they perceive us and my partner But thanks. Perhaps I just need to find my thick skin again | |||
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"so what if he isn't enough for you, since when did one person have to be enough? what reputation you protecting? if it's one in the swinging world then most of the people judging are hypocrites anyway. they like sex too else they wouldn't be here. maybe look at being dirty as a good thing? i don't like being called a slut, slag, whatever, during sex but if guys know i enjoy a lot of sex with multiple partners...and that turns them on...well what is there to be ashamed of really? see i dont think that wanting group sex has anything to do with my partner not being enough. He can leave me in a heap.. where as 20 guys wont.. as 121 sex with him is just anazing and satisfying.. i dont do 121 sex with others as it just doesn't do it for me. But i dont like people assuming anything. So i now behave more couples appropriate. Only meeting together etc.. less gg stuff. Mostly meeting couples together. X i didn't mean sex with him wasn't good or anything, just like one partner isn't enough because people like all kinds of things sexually, and if gg or gb is your thing too then obviously he isn't going to be enough for that. hope you get it sorted. i used to be shamed a lot and just learnt to not really care what people think unless they care about me and have my best interests at heart -and calling people names or making them feel bad is never in your best interests so far as i'm concerned. Thanks. I think group sex is a different thing. I used to think one guy could never be enough.. and here I am eating my own words... i never cared as a single what others thought. Even now its not really what they think of me... more how they perceive us and my partner But thanks. Perhaps I just need to find my thick skin again" dunno, i'm dead sensitive but only let that side out with people i care about and who i think care about me, (which is hardly anyone). | |||
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"We're still keen on the GG phase, both really enjoy it, but I (Mr) have had some comments on here that I clearly can't be satisfying Slim if she needs to play with so many guys. We know it's nonsense but it does seem to give some guys a kick to point it out. You guys seem to have a lot of good meets Cali so as long as they work for you, keep having fun and be safe" Thanks.. x I know its nonsense... same as worrying that people see us as less off a couple but it has really knocked me. X | |||
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"Over the years you have tamed how you come across on here. I used to think you loved the shockability of it all, that was before your current partner. Yes people judge, I do but my judgement means so little to the fun other people enjoy. Just do your thing and let people judge away. " it isnt just me my voice affects now.. so I often type something... then think its not worth the hassle. I am apparently still as blunt as a brick.. and I am always going to be open and honest with my opinions but some things my _iews have 100% been changed on since meeting my partner.. and I think its for the better. I am not ashamed of who i am/was.. I am however aware of how my sometimes big mouth can reflect badly on someone other than myself If that makes sense..and actually till ny partner I actually didnt realise I could shock people... i will still on occassion get the devil in me and say it how I see it regardless but normally with provocation | |||
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"Over the years you have tamed how you come across on here. I used to think you loved the shockability of it all, that was before your current partner. Yes people judge, I do but my judgement means so little to the fun other people enjoy. Just do your thing and let people judge away. it isnt just me my voice affects now.. so I often type something... then think its not worth the hassle. I am apparently still as blunt as a brick.. and I am always going to be open and honest with my opinions but some things my _iews have 100% been changed on since meeting my partner.. and I think its for the better. I am not ashamed of who i am/was.. I am however aware of how my sometimes big mouth can reflect badly on someone other than myself If that makes sense..and actually till ny partner I actually didnt realise I could shock people... i will still on occassion get the devil in me and say it how I see it regardless but normally with provocation " Never change Cali!! Why the bloody hell should you. You will always be that lovely lass who I accosted with 'oooo your Cali' in the bogs of the Sheffield social, many moons ago. Our wants and needs change but stay true to what/who you are xx | |||
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"Sorry to hear how some people are treating you this way. Look at it that you had a lucky escape . My partner and I are FWBs, and have been rejected a couple of times, because we're not a 'regular' couple. That's fine, as we rather play with people who don't judge us. Funny thing is: we've probably been together longer than some 'regular' couples are." and a lot more fun as you're more open minded | |||
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" does anyone else find that over time other's negative _iews impact how you are... or am I just being silly. " Prolonged negativity has an impact on anyone, I don't think it matters what it is about. | |||
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"Just curious... when Mr and I first met we were both very active on meeting.. both together and seperately. I only really met for gb and gg stuff and he liked a mix.. But at the start when we were first meeting as a couple.. many other ladies and couples commented that they didnt want to meet as I ( cali) was a gb girl... The hypocrisy was my partner was going to gb too and actually before he closed his original singles account had as many verifications as me.. and I knew he had met more than that.. yet it was me couples didnt want to meet because i was overly promiscuous. Another comment to come from those early days was that Mr obviously wasnt enough for me if I needed these group sessions all the time. So pretty much I began to refuse to do them... and now its got where I always feel that if we behave as we did at the start.. ( which we were having loads of fun) that people will still judge and still not see us as a legitimate couple... Silly logic I know as been together almost 4 year's now... But does anyone else find that over time other's negative _iews impact how you are... or am I just being silly. I rarely even do group stuff now when mr encourages it..not because i don't enjoy it but because i feel it gives off the wrong impression and affects our chances of meeting couples together x" Stop whinging and put another couple of cocks in your mouth ?? | |||
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