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"Dominant" vs DOMINEERING

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By *roticGoddessXX OP   Woman
over a year ago

Richmond

Have had a fair few too many messages from men looking to humiliate and abuse me. REALLY?

I see dominant as someone looking to take care of my needs.

Not to take charge of my life.

I don't get it.

What's your take on the term?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i enjoy humiliating guys, this doesn't even mean you're dominant, it just means they enjoy feeling like shit and being unworthy of you and i'm happy to indulge in that.

just happens i am dominant as well, and like to take the reins when it comes to sex and let the guy be a lazy git. although i have been lazy recently and letting guys do all the work, but if i'm bossy with that it means i am dominant also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are my types of dominance in both bondage and sm.. Some are purly pleasure.

A slave will give all to a dom. They control everything. Lifestyle sexual needs etc.

A bitch or slut is just sexual. If doesn't perform disipline by crop or whip.

Sexual dominance is just sex. One has control or the more dominant. You might be well stating what you want then won't be bothered by a master rather than a dominant

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By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley


"Have had a fair few too many messages from men looking to humiliate and abuse me. REALLY?

I see dominant as someone looking to take care of my needs.

Not to take charge of my life.

I don't get it.

What's your take on the term?"

that's the trouble with most of the so called doms /tops on hear they do not know what the scene is about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fifty Shades Darker went on release yesterday ..... no doubt there will be an influx of Mr Grey profiles this week, just like last time! Duminants not dominant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have had a fair few too many messages from men looking to humiliate and abuse me. REALLY?

I see dominant as someone looking to take care of my needs.

Not to take charge of my life.

I don't get it.

What's your take on the term?"

Same as yours pretty much..

Some of the so called 'doms' on here are either bossy feckers or just really overbearing and domineering ..

It's totally laughable

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Have had a fair few too many messages from men looking to humiliate and abuse me. REALLY?

I see dominant as someone looking to take care of my needs.

Not to take charge of my life.

I don't get it.

What's your take on the term?"

I'm pretty new to being sub, but you've hit the nail on the head in your second paragraph. He takes care of me, is very loving, is happy and loves me for me. Yes we have sub/Dom play in the bedroom but he's no bully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men think dominant means beating the shit out of you! Or right you will do what I say right now. Get you clothes off and suck this till I cum.

It doesn't it means controlling you sexually and gradually by putting you more and more gradually out of your comfort zone until you get a buzz from feeling helpless or finally relenting your will and then being used. This can be achieved by mind, by restraints and Sometimes by suggestive force and for some a spank or a slap but it's all about the sexual mind and handing control over not about being brutal or rushed.. that's called sadistic or rape!

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By *s HartWoman
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I think it's likely they are non experienced but like the idea of being called a 'dom'. Theirs probably just looking for some rough or kinky sex. If they were and were looking but sub / bottom bdsm partners they'd be on that well known fetish site.

I get lots of messages of wannabe subs on here. For the most part, they aren't subs at all, they just want to be fucked up the ass by a woman in leather (usually). They have no interest in s&m, D/s or servitude etc.

Tell them to swivel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys use the term "dom" "sub" as an excuse to treat women like shite.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"I think it's likely they are non experienced but like the idea of being called a 'dom'. Theirs probably just looking for some rough or kinky sex. If they were and were looking but sub / bottom bdsm partners they'd be on that well known fetish site.

I get lots of messages of wannabe subs on here. For the most part, they aren't subs at all, they just want to be fucked up the ass by a woman in leather (usually). They have no interest in s&m, D/s or servitude etc.

Tell them to swivel "

i used to get that a lot until i took domme off my profile.

any guy who has his ass hole showing as a profile pic i tend to rule out coz of the above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no real interest in dominating nor domineering..

I'm gentle and rough, dependant on my meets needs

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I had a 'sir' message me and say he was looking for a sub so I sent him the link to HDZ and said I'll be there Thursday night. He asked if there will be girls there to suck his cock all night. When I said sounds like you're just a bossy taker not a dom yet he denied it. I said come down....I think he needs educating

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

This post just highlights what I already believe fab needs a D/s bdsm social and support club / group .

A place where subs can support each other newbies both Ds and subs could get advice and support .

I chat to many in the scene both sub and Ds and its clear that because we are mostly complicated sexual animals we all feel we have no one to turn to from time to time . especially when we need a voice other than our own to help us work through issues like losing ones sub or ones D .

Subs helping and educating subs would make it very hard for Ds to lie about there experience levels and it would also make it very hard for those types portraying themselves as Doms who clearly are nothing more than women haters from picking on and tricking those new to the scene into dangerous and compromising situations .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dominant does make there partner feel like shit. Domineering does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominant does make there partner feel like shit. Domineering does. "

lol *doesnt and does respectively

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to serve you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 15:45:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominant doesnt make there partner feel like shit. Domineering does.

lol *doesnt and does respectively"

Thank you. Bloody auto carrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant... "

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so with the new fiftyshades...will there be another influx of subs n doms on fab? lol

I'm Mr Grey, no I'm Mr Grey...no he's Mr Grey..

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

"

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so with the new fiftyshades...will there be another influx of subs n doms on fab? lol

I'm Mr Grey, no I'm Mr Grey...no he's Mr Grey.."

Will the REAL Me Grey please stand up?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not. "

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

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By *he_Raggedy_DoctorMan
over a year ago

Some where in West Sussex

Personally I think IMHO there are a lot more sub ladies than there are dom ladies so for a guys point of view they may have to change tact and say they are a master just to get any where on this site.

How ever that's something that I won't do as I'm no dom or master as I would be sussed in seconds lol

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By *arry442Man
over a year ago

Brackley

I don't enjoy humiliating people as that's just uncalled for. What I do like though is taking the reigns and being in control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter "

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fifty Shades Darker went on release yesterday ..... no doubt there will be an influx of Mr Grey profiles this week, just like last time! Duminants not dominant"

Pmsl at this. Omg how true is that. At least they tend give themselves away as being dickheads from message one.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also."

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't enjoy humiliating people as that's just uncalled for. What I do like though is taking the reigns and being in control "

I like humiliating people who like being humiliated.

Is that uncalled for?

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x "

i think most people do only comment to say something and are stubborn about changing their ideas or at least not open to listening. fab forums seemed to be a lot worse for this when i first joined and my debating skills went down because of this environment itself. i was used to much higher quality forums with better debaters/conversationalists.

i do know plenty of D/s people enjoy playing head games also, it puts me off that scene as i feel like there's a lot of people this way who are only in it because they're fucked up and they enjoy dragging people down with them. it's why i tend to not bother with many people in that area and just wanna find people where i fit with them naturally. i know they won't all twist what you say but i've been called out myself by people who are twisted and they're just trying to 'get an upper hand' and don't really care what you said.

yeah it was me you've chatted to before, i deleted my other profiles.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x

i think most people do only comment to say something and are stubborn about changing their ideas or at least not open to listening. fab forums seemed to be a lot worse for this when i first joined and my debating skills went down because of this environment itself. i was used to much higher quality forums with better debaters/conversationalists.

i do know plenty of D/s people enjoy playing head games also, it puts me off that scene as i feel like there's a lot of people this way who are only in it because they're fucked up and they enjoy dragging people down with them. it's why i tend to not bother with many people in that area and just wanna find people where i fit with them naturally. i know they won't all twist what you say but i've been called out myself by people who are twisted and they're just trying to 'get an upper hand' and don't really care what you said.

yeah it was me you've chatted to before, i deleted my other profiles. "

D/s bdsm by its very nature has a very string mental element to it but all sex in my opinion takes place 80 percent in the brain the other 20 percent in ones genitalia .

People trying to manipulate others or fuck with there heads by making them feel less is in my opinion not what true D/s bdsm is about in my opinion its about empowering both subs and doms to explore there sexuality to its absolute limit x

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By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years. "

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x

i think most people do only comment to say something and are stubborn about changing their ideas or at least not open to listening. fab forums seemed to be a lot worse for this when i first joined and my debating skills went down because of this environment itself. i was used to much higher quality forums with better debaters/conversationalists.

i do know plenty of D/s people enjoy playing head games also, it puts me off that scene as i feel like there's a lot of people this way who are only in it because they're fucked up and they enjoy dragging people down with them. it's why i tend to not bother with many people in that area and just wanna find people where i fit with them naturally. i know they won't all twist what you say but i've been called out myself by people who are twisted and they're just trying to 'get an upper hand' and don't really care what you said.

yeah it was me you've chatted to before, i deleted my other profiles.

D/s bdsm by its very nature has a very string mental element to it but all sex in my opinion takes place 80 percent in the brain the other 20 percent in ones genitalia .

People trying to manipulate others or fuck with there heads by making them feel less is in my opinion not what true D/s bdsm is about in my opinion its about empowering both subs and doms to explore there sexuality to its absolute limit x"

i like head games, but ones where you know you're turning the person on with them. not ones where someone feels inadequate and so attacks you for that...they're also weird because they don't get into my head that way, so it's a one sided game from their side...not sure what they get out of it personally but i'm guessing nothing much and that's why they stop doing it eventually.

i do also struggle with some aspects of BDSM, never sure if i'm gonna cause more damage to a person by fulfilling their 'needs'. it's why i remain more observant about this stuff than want to talk about usually. shame other sites aren't more active when it comes to talking about the head stuff, everywhere does seem to be all about being sexually fulfilled and nothing much more being talked about.

feel the same way about you that a lot of sex is mental stimulation. it's why a lot of guys, i feel, fail on finding someone for sex. they cannot engage us into feeling anything sexual for them.

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By *eviant and BemusedCouple
over a year ago

Burton


"Most men think dominant means beating the shit out of you! Or right you will do what I say right now. Get you clothes off and suck this till I cum.

It doesn't it means controlling you sexually and gradually by putting you more and more gradually out of your comfort zone until you get a buzz from feeling helpless or finally relenting your will and then being used. This can be achieved by mind, by restraints and Sometimes by suggestive force and for some a spank or a slap but it's all about the sexual mind and handing control over not about being brutal or rushed.. that's called sadistic or rape! "

My Sir adores me, and he's no bully. If a man makes you do something you're uncomfortable with and doesn't care about your needs, he's an abusive fuckwit. Nowt to do with being a dominant.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x

i think most people do only comment to say something and are stubborn about changing their ideas or at least not open to listening. fab forums seemed to be a lot worse for this when i first joined and my debating skills went down because of this environment itself. i was used to much higher quality forums with better debaters/conversationalists.

i do know plenty of D/s people enjoy playing head games also, it puts me off that scene as i feel like there's a lot of people this way who are only in it because they're fucked up and they enjoy dragging people down with them. it's why i tend to not bother with many people in that area and just wanna find people where i fit with them naturally. i know they won't all twist what you say but i've been called out myself by people who are twisted and they're just trying to 'get an upper hand' and don't really care what you said.

yeah it was me you've chatted to before, i deleted my other profiles.

D/s bdsm by its very nature has a very string mental element to it but all sex in my opinion takes place 80 percent in the brain the other 20 percent in ones genitalia .

People trying to manipulate others or fuck with there heads by making them feel less is in my opinion not what true D/s bdsm is about in my opinion its about empowering both subs and doms to explore there sexuality to its absolute limit x

i like head games, but ones where you know you're turning the person on with them. not ones where someone feels inadequate and so attacks you for that...they're also weird because they don't get into my head that way, so it's a one sided game from their side...not sure what they get out of it personally but i'm guessing nothing much and that's why they stop doing it eventually.

i do also struggle with some aspects of BDSM, never sure if i'm gonna cause more damage to a person by fulfilling their 'needs'. it's why i remain more observant about this stuff than want to talk about usually. shame other sites aren't more active when it comes to talking about the head stuff, everywhere does seem to be all about being sexually fulfilled and nothing much more being talked about.

feel the same way about you that a lot of sex is mental stimulation. it's why a lot of guys, i feel, fail on finding someone for sex. they cannot engage us into feeling anything sexual for them."

I agree with everything you say in this post but its very hard to talk freely about mental stimulation designed to engage both minds when everything you say in a public forum will be picked apart and in a lot of cases twisted by those who have a agenda at odds with your own .

A lot is said under the banner of and the protections of debating which is clearly not debating in my opinion but character questioning and in some cases character assassination attempts . Which in my opinion ruins genuine debate and eventual forums in general .

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not.

This is so true but although its far easier for a guy on here it's still no picnic if you happen to be open about your desires and sexuality.

Dominant bashing is easy because if your dominant in your sexual tastes you can not really retaliate because if you do your open yourself to being called the names that are being branded around in here .

I wad raised by a woman taut to always walk away from a argument with a woman because its impossible to come out of such a situation looking good . Which is very true in my opinion you never look good arguing your case on here if your a man specially if your sexuality means you like to lead set the tone and flavour of the sexual encounter

i won't walk away from anything unless i feel the other person doesn't actually give a shit -at this point arguing is pointless. you can argue without looking like a dick as well, imo. don't need to win anything either, to just get your point across is enough. some women can be left looking like dicks via arguments.

but if that's how you feel then no point in pushing you to explain anything, i do get how men are more likely to be attacked on here for saying anything, probably attacked some myself also.

By my nature I'm a passionate guy but on here I realised that in a lot if cases it matters not what you say in a debate . D/s bdsm posts are the ones where certain personality types will try to twist your words and you will be forever explaining yourself to someone who has no interest in the dynamic or you except to push there own agenda .

Must of my conversations about d/s bdsm are done privately with people who have no agenda other than like me to increase there understanding of the dynamic they have a passion for .

I'm very open you and me have had some very interesting conversations in forum posts of your own. when if I'm not mistaken you went under a different name .

My post was not aimed at you being such a person as I've detailed in this post its was purely a observation that agreed with your original post and added more food for thought of my own x

i think most people do only comment to say something and are stubborn about changing their ideas or at least not open to listening. fab forums seemed to be a lot worse for this when i first joined and my debating skills went down because of this environment itself. i was used to much higher quality forums with better debaters/conversationalists.

i do know plenty of D/s people enjoy playing head games also, it puts me off that scene as i feel like there's a lot of people this way who are only in it because they're fucked up and they enjoy dragging people down with them. it's why i tend to not bother with many people in that area and just wanna find people where i fit with them naturally. i know they won't all twist what you say but i've been called out myself by people who are twisted and they're just trying to 'get an upper hand' and don't really care what you said.

yeah it was me you've chatted to before, i deleted my other profiles.

D/s bdsm by its very nature has a very string mental element to it but all sex in my opinion takes place 80 percent in the brain the other 20 percent in ones genitalia .

People trying to manipulate others or fuck with there heads by making them feel less is in my opinion not what true D/s bdsm is about in my opinion its about empowering both subs and doms to explore there sexuality to its absolute limit x

i like head games, but ones where you know you're turning the person on with them. not ones where someone feels inadequate and so attacks you for that...they're also weird because they don't get into my head that way, so it's a one sided game from their side...not sure what they get out of it personally but i'm guessing nothing much and that's why they stop doing it eventually.

i do also struggle with some aspects of BDSM, never sure if i'm gonna cause more damage to a person by fulfilling their 'needs'. it's why i remain more observant about this stuff than want to talk about usually. shame other sites aren't more active when it comes to talking about the head stuff, everywhere does seem to be all about being sexually fulfilled and nothing much more being talked about.

feel the same way about you that a lot of sex is mental stimulation. it's why a lot of guys, i feel, fail on finding someone for sex. they cannot engage us into feeling anything sexual for them.

I agree with everything you say in this post but its very hard to talk freely about mental stimulation designed to engage both minds when everything you say in a public forum will be picked apart and in a lot of cases twisted by those who have a agenda at odds with your own .

A lot is said under the banner of and the protections of debating which is clearly not debating in my opinion but character questioning and in some cases character assassination attempts . Which in my opinion ruins genuine debate and eventual forums in general ."

i feel i've learned a lot about personality disorders and know how to handle people with them. it is basically shut them down, whether that's by what you say or by just not reacting to them at all. maybe tats' how people interact with them, and so they try and do the same thing with everyone else?

think it's right you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable to them, it doesn't really bother me as my personality is one where they won't bother me by what they say and i'm interested in hearing them (it confirms some personal ideals i have in my head).

i do think some debates are pointless, but not all and not even for the reasons that debating should be for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being humiliated about my little boy cock and love being dominated to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some guys think they are doms but don't actually know what it is about... they are just bullies. Spoil it for the true doms who show respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to meet a dom who on the first meet expected me to beg him to pee in my mouth gargle and swallow.

I don't see how anybody could yet turned on by this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really think that a good 95% of guys on here claiming to be Dom have no idea at all what being Dom actually means, to be fair nor do I but I don't pretend other wise but I do know there is more to being a Dom that rough sex and face fucking, to me that's just lazy selfish sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was going to meet a dom who on the first meet expected me to beg him to pee in my mouth gargle and swallow.

I don't see how anybody could yet turned on by this "

Some of us just enjoy that kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really think that a good 95% of guys on here claiming to be Dom have no idea at all what being Dom actually means, to be fair nor do I but I don't pretend other wise but I do know there is more to being a Dom that rough sex and face fucking, to me that's just lazy selfish sex "

Exactly!

I steer clear of anyone on here that says they're "dom"

I like a bit of submission - but there are so many men that have no idea what that means.

For me it's something that I don't do with randoms it's when I've built a bit of trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was going to meet a dom who on the first meet expected me to beg him to pee in my mouth gargle and swallow.

I don't see how anybody could yet turned on by this "

There are a lot of things that don't do it for me. ..but at least I'm "open minded" enough to get that others might be into things I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Known colloquially as "dim doms"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"I was going to meet a dom who on the first meet expected me to beg him to pee in my mouth gargle and swallow.

I don't see how anybody could yet turned on by this "

Open honest and frank communication on the part of the both of you should have stopped the pair of you from ever getting into a situation nether of you was expecting to be in .

Open and frank chat is the only way to see if your compatible in the first place and is also needed to set out ground rules and guide lines for the play to come .

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years. "

Exactly my point. What kind of real Dom says that on his profile?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?"

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have had a fair few too many messages from men looking to humiliate and abuse me. REALLY?

I see dominant as someone looking to take care of my needs.

Not to take charge of my life.

I don't get it.

They have been watching 50 shades of bullshit and wouldn't be able too Dom themselves out of a fuckin paper bag

What's your take on the term?"

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years.

"

You didn't read it right either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was going to meet a dom who on the first meet expected me to beg him to pee in my mouth gargle and swallow.

I don't see how anybody could yet turned on by this

Some of us just enjoy that kind of thing."

To be fair I probaly would do it but not first meet when I was nervous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?"

Depends what you idea of dominant is

If you also care about and respect your partners needs then no, if you just want somebody you can barks orders at and expect them to do things they don't want to just to please you then yes

I think a lot of guys who claim to be Dom are bullies but that does not mean I think all Dom men are just the misguided ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years.

You didn't read it right either "

I understood what you ment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer 50/50 dom like rough wild animalistic side of women like a lady and I fight for dom with biting and scratching

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"Fifty Shades Darker went on release yesterday ..... no doubt there will be an influx of Mr Grey profiles this week, just like last time! Duminants not dominant"

Yup pretty much

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Wow. I must of been super lucky with the Doms I've played with then because real Doms are anything but bullies in and out the bedroom and I've been a sub for years.

You didn't read it right either

I understood what you ment "

Thank you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I prefer 50/50 dom like rough wild animalistic side of women like a lady and I fight for dom with biting and scratching "

And here we have Exhibit A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that."

If a man didn't write that he was into BDSM and dom/dominant on his profile, I wouldn't approach him for BDSM.

I'm not a mind-reader. It helps if he writes it on his profile.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that.

If a man didn't write that he was into BDSM and dom/dominant on his profile, I wouldn't approach him for BDSM.

I'm not a mind-reader. It helps if he writes it on his profile."

My first post was about dim doms and their profiles.

Not sure how it got to this. I know what a real Dom is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that.

If a man didn't write that he was into BDSM and dom/dominant on his profile, I wouldn't approach him for BDSM.

I'm not a mind-reader. It helps if he writes it on his profile.

My first post was about dim doms and their profiles.

Not sure how it got to this. I know what a real Dom is."

You said "I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Where else are they supposed to be dominant? In the middle of the local Wetherspoons?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that.

If a man didn't write that he was into BDSM and dom/dominant on his profile, I wouldn't approach him for BDSM.

I'm not a mind-reader. It helps if he writes it on his profile.

My first post was about dim doms and their profiles.

Not sure how it got to this. I know what a real Dom is.

You said "I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Where else are they supposed to be dominant? In the middle of the local Wetherspoons?"

It's in quotation marks because it's a common quote on the profiles of men who think they are Doms when in fact they are not.

I didn't write it clear enough I see, as putting something in quotation marks is too smart for the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?

I don't know, my post is about men who put that on their profile. That's what I think when I see that.

If a man didn't write that he was into BDSM and dom/dominant on his profile, I wouldn't approach him for BDSM.

I'm not a mind-reader. It helps if he writes it on his profile.

My first post was about dim doms and their profiles.

Not sure how it got to this. I know what a real Dom is.

You said "I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies."

Where else are they supposed to be dominant? In the middle of the local Wetherspoons?

It's in quotation marks because it's a common quote on the profiles of men who think they are Doms when in fact they are not.

I didn't write it clear enough I see, as putting something in quotation marks is too smart for the forums "

I also know alot of genuine people who write that on their profile.

What are people supposed to write on their profile if they want to indicate that they are dominant? Or does any indication of being dominant mean they're a bully?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"What are people supposed to write on their profile if they want to indicate that they are dominant? Or does any indication of being dominant mean they're a bully?"

They can write whatever they like. But when I see "like to be dominant in the bedroom" I think they are secret bullies.

Real Doms don't write that.

And that is my opinion. Which you can't change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are people supposed to write on their profile if they want to indicate that they are dominant? Or does any indication of being dominant mean they're a bully?

They can write whatever they like. But when I see "like to be dominant in the bedroom" I think they are secret bullies.

Real Doms don't write that.

And that is my opinion. Which you can't change "

What do 'real' doms write on their profiles to let you know that they're a 'real' dom?

And what's the difference between a 'real' dom and any other sort of dom? I thought that to be a dom you just had to enjoy being dominant and be into BDSM.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"What are people supposed to write on their profile if they want to indicate that they are dominant? Or does any indication of being dominant mean they're a bully?

They can write whatever they like. But when I see "like to be dominant in the bedroom" I think they are secret bullies.

Real Doms don't write that.

And that is my opinion. Which you can't change

What do 'real' doms write on their profiles to let you know that they're a 'real' dom?

And what's the difference between a 'real' dom and any other sort of dom? I thought that to be a dom you just had to enjoy being dominant and be into BDSM."

You can continue to try and belittle me but I have no interest in your attempts to mock my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love a woman to take control in the bedroom, take me to my hidden height, try different things on me, make me do what she wanted to her or maybe to other! But the biggest problem I fear is it would want to be kicked, hit or slapped!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not. "

This ^^^!

If we dare say no thanks, we're called sluts, slags and they send threats at times too.

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By *ina75Woman
over a year ago

Stone

I suggest all the people who struggle to understand read the story subspace posted a while ago.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/558090 this describes well what a dominant motivation looks like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys who "like to be dominant in the bedroom" are secret bullies.

Shit. I like to be dominant in the bedroom. Does that mean I'm a bully?"

some people just say things for the sake of saying things..

the comment was about guys and you are a woman. However, if you think you are a bully then crack on

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"I suggest all the people who struggle to understand read the story subspace posted a while ago.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/558090 this describes well what a dominant motivation looks like. "

I wrote that

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham


"that sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO..

that will just be giving all the domineering ones the tools with which to pretend to be dominant...

Lots are cowards who get kicks out of bullying others and treating them like they are worthless.

I understand and get the Dom Sub dynamics of a proper Dom Sub relationship.

But lots of guys use it as a veil to be abusive to women.

a lot of men who join this site think we (women and tv) are here to service them, whether we're sub or not. "

couldn't agree more xxx

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