FabSwingers.com forum: "Just my preference"

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

It makes me think that I'm unfortunate to live in the area I do as the consensus seems to be on not my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it is their preference and its their profile and they can put what they like on it lol

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

Because people sometimes message them and ask why they don't meet a certain group of people and they say "just my preference"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has their own preferences but if I read a profile that had that on it and maybe they had one or two of those traits themselves it would be bye bye

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because it is their preference and its their profile and they can put what they like on it lol"

Fair point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On the early responces Im not sure I explained my question correctly. I am questioning why they put "just my preference" - not that they dont want to meet a certain type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that if people read the profile, and they arnt what they are after, it saves them wasting there time messaging, but it doesn't work, they still message send photo, then wonder why it gets deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just reiterating to the reader that its their preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't bare the expression 'just my preference'. It's taken on its own meaning in the Fab world to justify exclusion due to a common characteristic, as opposed to judging people as individuals. The expression is used inaccurately to. In normal life if someone were to say they prefer apples to oranges it would mean when given a choice they would probably choose apples. It does not mean there would never eat oranges, and oranges would not be excluded from consideration. But in 'Fab' language, having a preference for apples over oranges would mean that oranges would be totally excluded. Which is fine, but to describe that as a preference is an incorrect use of the word.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

Based on what we see, this comes entirely from the racial preferences originally, because there are some people who like to throw the racist card about too readily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

You shouldn't need to justify yourself you are right, BUT many people get shitty messages when they are seen to be in the wrong for having a type.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone, or couple, don't want to meet fat, short, tall, black, white, gay or whatever then that's a choice of theirs. We don't have to justify it. No court in the land, well not in the UK (yet!) will condemn someone for not fucking a black, gay, tall fella or a white, short tv.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't get why people feel the need to fill their profiles with negative tirades about those they don't want to meet anyway. Describe who you do want to meet, it works far better in my experience and you don't sound like a cunt.

The word "preference" is used to excuse all kinds of rude, racist, homophobic and just generally cunty behaviour on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the early responces Im not sure I explained my question correctly. I am questioning why they put "just my preference" - not that they dont want to meet a certain type."

To try and stop messages saying saying "why don't you meet blah,blah". Probably actually doesn't stop all from messaging but maybe stops a few!!

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By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

I know what kind of person I want to meet, I don't put on my profile no this or no that. I just delete if not for me. In response to your question I think people put that on their profile as people are instantly offended if their no list describes them

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

Because we live in an age where its a hobby to be offended. So putting that its your preference saves ball ache.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I have preferences - we all do. However I choose not to put a list on my profile saying what I don't want, I don't want to seem negative in any way.

I think some people choose to put their preferences on their profile in an attempt to try and stop others from contacting them when there is no chance of getting anywhere. I like I think it is done with good intentions but it can just piss people off.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Self consolation.

Like you said OP, they don't have to but I think it make them feel better to put it down.

Like one poster said, it's their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

Because writing "I don't like meeting [insert man type here] because they are all fucking absolute cunts" is generally frowned upon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't bare the expression 'just my preference'. It's taken on its own meaning in the Fab world to justify exclusion due to a common characteristic, as opposed to judging people as individuals. The expression is used inaccurately to. In normal life if someone were to say they prefer apples to oranges it would mean when given a choice they would probably choose apples. It does not mean there would never eat oranges, and oranges would not be excluded from consideration. But in 'Fab' language, having a preference for apples over oranges would mean that oranges would be totally excluded. Which is fine, but to describe that as a preference is an incorrect use of the word.

Mrs"

Excellent analogy. Post of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody should need to justify their preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really don't get why people feel the need to fill their profiles with negative tirades about those they don't want to meet anyway. Describe who you do want to meet, it works far better in my experience and you don't sound like a cunt.

The word "preference" is used to excuse all kinds of rude, racist, homophobic and just generally cunty behaviour on this site. "

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

The word "preference" is used to excuse all kinds of rude, racist, homophobic and just generally cunty behaviour on this site. "

Have to say I agree wholeheartedly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say I really don't. My preference is to not meet new men; I'm far from sexist. Nor am I, I trust, particularly "cuntish" (though chuckling slightly at the potential euphemism in that term as a bi lady looking for FF fun). I do however reserve the right to choose who and what goes near my fandango.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Because writing "I don't like meeting [insert man type here] because they are all fucking absolute cunts" is generally frowned upon

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Hi all,

I have read many profiles that say the person doesnt want to meet a particular type of person. It might be hairy/bald, old/young, thin/fat, or based on race - the list goes on.

My question is why do so many feel they need to add a phrase like "just my preference" after it?

My thoughts are that you shouldnt need to justify why you dont want to meet a particular type. Am I wrong?"

No you shouldn't have to justify however until a small minority of people on the site stop having a go at others for having a preference then I imagine they feel they have to justify it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you shouldn't have to justify however until a small minority of people on the site stop having a go at others for having a preference then I imagine they feel they have to justify it.

Couldn't have said it better myself

or maybe until a small minority stop their cuntish behaviour in stating how others should run their own profiles maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Copy and pasted from our profile:

'She has a taste for tall, handsome, urbane, stylish gentlemen who understand the art of seduction.'

We have never any criticism with describing my so-called 'preference' when it comes to men,

However if we were to word it like this, I suspect we would be offending a few:

'No short ugly men who have no sense of style - just my preference'

But at least with the first statement, it genuinely is my preference as I'm not actually outruling men who are outside these parameters. And I don't need to say it's a preference. And I genuinely do keep an open mind.

But the second statement I'm being exclusive and closed-minded. The second statement is not a preference, it is a hard and fast rule, although I would be trying to justify it as a preference.

The way things are worded make a huge difference, and it's much kinder to say what you do want than what don't.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't explain though you will get unwanted messages. As a single guy you don't get many messages but when you do you want it from someone who match your preferences. I don't want false hope seeing a message but realising it is somebody I would never meet. I bet it helps women who are inundated aswell to save people trying it on just in case people make exceptions to their preferences but how often do people do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't explain though you will get unwanted messages. As a single guy you don't get many messages but when you do you want it from someone who match your preferences. I don't want false hope seeing a message but realising it is somebody I would never meet. I bet it helps women who are inundated aswell to save people trying it on just in case people make exceptions to their preferences but how often do people do that."

Anyone who would try it on while you have what you're looking for described on your profile will still try it on if you've got a load of negative shouting about preferences on it - the difference is that you'll also put off anyone who doesn't want to meet a ranty arse.

I won't email a profile which says they're looking for petite women or slim women. Even if I WAS petite or slim, I still wouldn't message a profile that said "no fatties or heifers".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't email a profile which says they're looking for petite women or slim women. Even if I WAS petite or slim, I still wouldn't message a profile that said "no fatties or heifers". "
Yeah I get what your saying but generally the people who have strict preferences feel superior as well so they probably relate to yours and have common ground.

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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

I guess it's because what attracts someone can be inexplicable. One likes hairy chests. Another Gaga at the sight and it's an immediate turn-off. Why? Who can tell. There is no reason for it. Hairless chests aren't any more beautiful than hairy ones - it just depends on some inexplicable attraction.

As to why put anything in the negative - as in I don't like as opposed to I like - is that some things one finds attractive, so "I prefer". Some things are a complete no! We both can't stand a great jungle of pubic hair, so that's an "I don't like under any circumstances". But then there are a whole range of features in between that might depend on the individual or how they all come together, which you won't necessarily exclude. So "i do like" - get in touch. "I don't like" - don't waste both of our time. If it's not listed - why not try your luck! (:

The "preference" bit is just to say "there's nothing wrong with that at all! It just turns me off or doesn't turn me on.

No need to be so sensitive. We all take the risk and try out luck here and don't want to offend anyone in the process.

2 pennies spent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Copy and pasted from our profile:

'She has a taste for tall, handsome, urbane, stylish gentlemen who understand the art of seduction.'

We have never any criticism with describing my so-called 'preference' when it comes to men,

However if we were to word it like this, I suspect we would be offending a few:

'No short ugly men who have no sense of style - just my preference'

But the second statement I'm being exclusive and closed-minded. The second statement is not a preference, it is a hard and fast rule, although I would be trying to justify it as a preference.

The way things are worded make a huge difference, and it's much kinder to say what you do want than what don't.

Mrs"

Agree!

I very much like your posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Copy and pasted from our profile:

'She has a taste for tall, handsome, urbane, stylish gentlemen who understand the art of seduction.'

We have never any criticism with describing my so-called 'preference' when it comes to men,

However if we were to word it like this, I suspect we would be offending a few:

'No short ugly men who have no sense of style - just my preference'

But the second statement I'm being exclusive and closed-minded. The second statement is not a preference, it is a hard and fast rule, although I would be trying to justify it as a preference.

The way things are worded make a huge difference, and it's much kinder to say what you do want than what don't.

Mrs"

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