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Worst sexual experiences

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, lets all have a good laugh and share our worst/most embarrassing experiences.

I'll start, mine would have to be after taking a girl home after a night out she was getting into the swing of things by giving me a blowjob, when all of a sudden the shots from earlier in the night wanted to make a return and she threw up just managing to turn around in time to avoid covering me in it, needless to say we went to sleep after that and i gave her a lift home in the morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i once took a girl home from a club and was going great, but then she went to give me a bj and she was so harsh and fierce with it that my penis started bleeding

kinda killed the mood

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i once took a girl home from a club and was going great, but then she went to give me a bj and she was so harsh and fierce with it that my penis started bleeding

kinda killed the mood"

Ouchhh, that would do more than kill the mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'll admit it kept hurting for almost a week afterwards haha

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By *rangeGhostWoman
over a year ago

Brixham

I went back with the boss of the client we were trying to impress after a company function. I'd had too many cocktails and we started fumbling in the hallway up to his flat, when we got to his room I took his penis in my mouth and the cocktails decided to come back up! He called me a cab and I went home. Needless to say... we lost the job!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I went back with the boss of the client we were trying to impress after a company function. I'd had too many cocktails and we started fumbling in the hallway up to his flat, when we got to his room I took his penis in my mouth and the cocktails decided to come back up! He called me a cab and I went home. Needless to say... we lost the job!"

Ah no, at least i gave the girl a lift home from my one lol. But just imagine how much work you would have got it if all went well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine has to be, the guy had basically just rubbed and grinded himself all over me, for like an hr not only incredibley boring but the friction burns stung for a week or so

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mine has to be, the guy had basically just rubbed and grinded himself all over me, for like an hr not only incredibley boring but the friction burns stung for a week or so "

My ex once done that to me, she was on top dry humping for fooking ages, i nearly burst out laughing at one point as i was wondering what the hell she was doing

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By *oppy87Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Holiday. Swimming pool. Banjo. Snap. Blood

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I've posted this one before but its always a goodie. This wasn't a Fab meet by the way.

I got to the hotel and he was smoking outside. Not too bad but I've given up and prefer not to be kissing guys who taste like ashtrays, but it may have been his preparation fag! So we went to his room and clothes came off. All well and good - he was well endowed like he said and was a good kisser. He busied himself around my tits for a while then got a condom on. He said that the first one was always quick so I wasn't too surprised when he came straight away, but he didn't thrust once. Just in, and cum.

Anyway, we get going again and I am screaming internally by this point for him to lick or at least touch my pussy. I am so horny it hurts. So I ask if he does oral and he responds by shoving his cock in my mouth. Again, I enjoy that as obviously I'll get mine at some point. I have fun sucking him and letting him fuck my mouth and he comes in my mouth. Then he gets dressed, checks his phone for texts, and goes for a smoke. Ermmmm....

When he gets back I assume he'll come and start on me, but no. He wants something to eat, and offers to buy me lunch. When he orders at the bar though he doesn't even buy me a drink, just orders his food then disappears for another smoke. He was gone so long his food came and sat on the table for 10 mins before he came back. At this point I'd had enough - he'd had two orgasms, I'd had none, and he'd lied about buying me lunch. So I left. And do you know what the pisser was? I felt guilty for leaving him there. He'd booked a hotel for me then I'd left him, and I still felt bad about it.

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By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley

a man with 10" put it in back and forth twice ended and the asked if I came

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

Well, there was this one time when an ex of mine nearly suffocated me during a 69

He was a big guy, played rugby and was pretty solid to say the least. We ended up in a 69 position but with him on top and all was going well until, for some reason, he decided to just put all of his weight onto me!

So I had his cock lodged down my throat and his groin smothering my face, I couldn't breath at all- I had to whack him, several times I will add, to get him to realise what he was doing to me and move!

Swear to god, my life flashed before my eyes.

Sassy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a bloke from another website. Went to his. He was rubbing himself to get hard for the condom. I'm lubed and bent over waiting. Next thing I know he says 'I've just come' and that was it.

Quick wipe to get rid of some lube, trousers on and out of there.

Unploughed!

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By *akeyousmile30Man
over a year ago

greenwich

I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!"

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By *oloGuyMan
over a year ago

Bloomsbury, London

some of these are hilarious.

I once was busy with a super hot girl (hottest girl I've ever slept with by far, met her through a Gumtree advert back in the day and booked a hotel room) and things where going well. I was loving running my hands over her smooth, firm body and grabbing at her tight ass... loving it. She could suck cock so well too... her bra came off to reveal perfect tits and nipples... and eventually time for her panties to come off, which were soaked from me rubbing her through them.

AND. THEN. IT. HIT. ME.

The most foul smelling pussy I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. And she kept on saying "smell how wet I am for you!" and referring to it as her "sex musk"...

I made some crappy excuse about needing water, then needing to get dressed to buy a Coke from the vending machine and I fuuuuucked off. It was THAT BAD.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!"

OMG' The next time I'm with a guy and he starts scratching his arse I'll get worried'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!"

Jesus that's horrific! I feel sick!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two.

In my late teens I d*unkenly took a female bodybuilder home and she literally roared like tarzan. Picked me up and through me through the plasterboard wall. Soiled myself.

Another one was I made a girl orgasm through oral and she broke wind and followed through... that was horrendous!

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By *anejohnkent6263Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

know of a girl who dropped a brown log when in the throws of THE BIG O

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A single guy on fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I realise how uneventful my sex life is, but for once I'm glad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear god... these posts have made my night... sorry everyone but I've been in hysterics!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Do I have to do my repertoire again, or can the OP just give me an A?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I realise how uneventful my sex life is, but for once I'm glad. "

Me too, about mine, not yours

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Do I have to do my repertoire again, or can the OP just give me an A?

"

A++

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By *haneleviMan
over a year ago

Kidderminster

Went for a drive with a girl, went to a car park and she was sucking me off and we got comfy in the back of the car.

Lasted that long the car steamed up and was boiling hot.

She kept gagging on my dick and eventually brought some sick up in her mouth. Killed the mood completely. Couldn't get hard after that haha

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By *ugs and JunkCouple
over a year ago

Bellshill

Worst sexual experience = being married to the wrong woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My worst sexual experiences take in comparison to some of you lot. Particularly worm lady!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't during the act but the morning after losing my virginity

We were two 16 year olds booked into a travellodge in town (classy) and the next day we walked to the local shopping centre for lunch... bought a subway and sat down... before even taking a bite I ran off to the toilets and vomited so hard and so long!

I think I'd finally processed all the nerves of losing my V out of my system that the leftover adrenaline decided the only thing to do was to chuck up!

I was gone for so long I got a text off her asking if I'd run away!

Needless to say I never ate the sandwich but we did stay together for a year afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/17 23:35:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've posted this one before but its always a goodie. This wasn't a Fab meet by the way.

I got to the hotel and he was smoking outside. Not too bad but I've given up and prefer not to be kissing guys who taste like ashtrays, but it may have been his preparation fag! So we went to his room and clothes came off. All well and good - he was well endowed like he said and was a good kisser. He busied himself around my tits for a while then got a condom on. He said that the first one was always quick so I wasn't too surprised when he came straight away, but he didn't thrust once. Just in, and cum.

Anyway, we get going again and I am screaming internally by this point for him to lick or at least touch my pussy. I am so horny it hurts. So I ask if he does oral and he responds by shoving his cock in my mouth. Again, I enjoy that as obviously I'll get mine at some point. I have fun sucking him and letting him fuck my mouth and he comes in my mouth. Then he gets dressed, checks his phone for texts, and goes for a smoke. Ermmmm....

When he gets back I assume he'll come and start on me, but no. He wants something to eat, and offers to buy me lunch. When he orders at the bar though he doesn't even buy me a drink, just orders his food then disappears for another smoke. He was gone so long his food came and sat on the table for 10 mins before he came back. At this point I'd had enough - he'd had two orgasms, I'd had none, and he'd lied about buying me lunch. So I left. And do you know what the pisser was? I felt guilty for leaving him there. He'd booked a hotel for me then I'd left him, and I still felt bad about it."

Cheeky basted not you him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My worse/most embarrassing sexual experience was in a club, I'd been talking to a guy and we went to a room, mid way through my body decided it was time to come on, I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but that nature for you, anyway when the guy realised he freaked out calling me a dirty bitch etc, grabbed his towel and left, I headed for the showers for obvious reasons only to find he was there telling everybody in ear shot of him what had happened, when he saw me he even pointed me out to everybody

I was so embarrassed I got dressed and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My worse/most embarrassing sexual experience was in a club, I'd been talking to a guy and we went to a room, mid way through my body decided it was time to come on, I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but that nature for you, anyway when the guy realised he freaked out calling me a dirty bitch etc, grabbed his towel and left, I headed for the showers for obvious reasons only to find he was there telling everybody in ear shot of him what had happened, when he saw me he even pointed me out to everybody

I was so embarrassed I got dressed and left "

What an arsehole! How anyone can be such a dickhead is beyond me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My worse/most embarrassing sexual experience was in a club, I'd been talking to a guy and we went to a room, mid way through my body decided it was time to come on, I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but that nature for you, anyway when the guy realised he freaked out calling me a dirty bitch etc, grabbed his towel and left, I headed for the showers for obvious reasons only to find he was there telling everybody in ear shot of him what had happened, when he saw me he even pointed me out to everybody

I was so embarrassed I got dressed and left "

I like you more now... that was brave of you to post

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Do I have to do my repertoire again, or can the OP just give me an A?

A++"

Oh just ONE...

There was this *one* time I was having a most diverting evening in a gay sauna but was expelled for bad behaviour about 3 am. I thought it hilarious at the time, before I realised that in my hurried leaving, I'd forgotten my glasses and had to go crawling back and ask REALLY nicely if I could have them back, please?

Sorry about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago

Scarborough


"I've posted this one before but its always a goodie. This wasn't a Fab meet by the way.

I got to the hotel and he was smoking outside. Not too bad but I've given up and prefer not to be kissing guys who taste like ashtrays, but it may have been his preparation fag! So we went to his room and clothes came off. All well and good - he was well endowed like he said and was a good kisser. He busied himself around my tits for a while then got a condom on. He said that the first one was always quick so I wasn't too surprised when he came straight away, but he didn't thrust once. Just in, and cum.

Anyway, we get going again and I am screaming internally by this point for him to lick or at least touch my pussy. I am so horny it hurts. So I ask if he does oral and he responds by shoving his cock in my mouth. Again, I enjoy that as obviously I'll get mine at some point. I have fun sucking him and letting him fuck my mouth and he comes in my mouth. Then he gets dressed, checks his phone for texts, and goes for a smoke. Ermmmm....

When he gets back I assume he'll come and start on me, but no. He wants something to eat, and offers to buy me lunch. When he orders at the bar though he doesn't even buy me a drink, just orders his food then disappears for another smoke. He was gone so long his food came and sat on the table for 10 mins before he came back. At this point I'd had enough - he'd had two orgasms, I'd had none, and he'd lied about buying me lunch. So I left. And do you know what the pisser was? I felt guilty for leaving him there. He'd booked a hotel for me then I'd left him, and I still felt bad about it.

"
I am amazed you didn't have his lunch! and as a goodYorkshire lass, the last sentence should read?"and I still felt mad about it."

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By *adrMan
over a year ago

Near Bedford

I was going away on business, but the night before I had planned a meeting with a woman I knew. Met & all was well & she invited me back to her flat/room. Didn't put a light on, but both got naked & into bed & started having (great,noisy)sex. Suddenly a female voice says "G, you bitch, tell him leave" It was her room mate, in another bed. I didn't know she was there! So I left at about 1.30am & had to sleep in my car until setting off on the business trip in the morning. Never had another meet with G to finished the fun either ...

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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

A lot of years ago, with a girl. When she got undressed, her feet stunk. It was unbearable, although, being a gent, I had to finish the "job"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two come to mind.

First, met up with this guy who was a friend of a friend. Was a second meeting, the first meeting we ended up having sex on the beach at 3am. Anyway, all going great and we are kissing and I'm really horny. He undresses me and all that follows. Then takes his jeans off and his boxers down. OMG!! The smell. The actual smell!! Not enough words to describe it. I instantly started gagging and then I looked down. It was the day I realised Knob cheese is not a myth. I just said sorry and then got dressed and asked him to drop me back off home. Worst part is he couldn't see what was wrong with it.

Second, met this guy and he lived in a shared home. So things were already pretty damn awkward cos when I walked into the house everyone just stared and kept asking who I was and all the million questions. Anyway we got to his room and things eased up and we got down to business. When he finally reveals his package it's huge! Nice little surprise. Then he puts it in and thrusts a bit, as you do. In that moment there was a shot of pain in my stomach and it felt like someone had just stabbed me with a steel rod. I screamed! Seconds later I just felt wet down there. He was still thrusting away and I had to stop him and ask 'can you not feel that?' He asked me what I was on about and then looked down. His face turned pale and the next thing I heard was 'don't panic'... well fuck that shit course I panicked. I shot up and looked down. Everything was covered in blood. Masses of it and it wouldn't stop. It didn't stop. I spent three days in hospital with a haemorrhage. After that I never spoke to him again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two come to mind.

First, met up with this guy who was a friend of a friend. Was a second meeting, the first meeting we ended up having sex on the beach at 3am. Anyway, all going great and we are kissing and I'm really horny. He undresses me and all that follows. Then takes his jeans off and his boxers down. OMG!! The smell. The actual smell!! Not enough words to describe it. I instantly started gagging and then I looked down. It was the day I realised Knob cheese is not a myth. I just said sorry and then got dressed and asked him to drop me back off home. Worst part is he couldn't see what was wrong with it.

Second, met this guy and he lived in a shared home. So things were already pretty damn awkward cos when I walked into the house everyone just stared and kept asking who I was and all the million questions. Anyway we got to his room and things eased up and we got down to business. When he finally reveals his package it's huge! Nice little surprise. Then he puts it in and thrusts a bit, as you do. In that moment there was a shot of pain in my stomach and it felt like someone had just stabbed me with a steel rod. I screamed! Seconds later I just felt wet down there. He was still thrusting away and I had to stop him and ask 'can you not feel that?' He asked me what I was on about and then looked down. His face turned pale and the next thing I heard was 'don't panic'... well fuck that shit course I panicked. I shot up and looked down. Everything was covered in blood. Masses of it and it wouldn't stop. It didn't stop. I spent three days in hospital with a haemorrhage. After that I never spoke to him again. "

Sorry about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two come to mind.

First, met up with this guy who was a friend of a friend. Was a second meeting, the first meeting we ended up having sex on the beach at 3am. Anyway, all going great and we are kissing and I'm really horny. He undresses me and all that follows. Then takes his jeans off and his boxers down. OMG!! The smell. The actual smell!! Not enough words to describe it. I instantly started gagging and then I looked down. It was the day I realised Knob cheese is not a myth. I just said sorry and then got dressed and asked him to drop me back off home. Worst part is he couldn't see what was wrong with it.

Second, met this guy and he lived in a shared home. So things were already pretty damn awkward cos when I walked into the house everyone just stared and kept asking who I was and all the million questions. Anyway we got to his room and things eased up and we got down to business. When he finally reveals his package it's huge! Nice little surprise. Then he puts it in and thrusts a bit, as you do. In that moment there was a shot of pain in my stomach and it felt like someone had just stabbed me with a steel rod. I screamed! Seconds later I just felt wet down there. He was still thrusting away and I had to stop him and ask 'can you not feel that?' He asked me what I was on about and then looked down. His face turned pale and the next thing I heard was 'don't panic'... well fuck that shit course I panicked. I shot up and looked down. Everything was covered in blood. Masses of it and it wouldn't stop. It didn't stop. I spent three days in hospital with a haemorrhage. After that I never spoke to him again. "

Oh god

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry about that "

Thank you. Safe to say I am over the trauma of both events x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

"

That's a bit harsh, cookies and tea, cant complain with that on a settee. Plus one should never expect sex just because you turn up. Yes unfortunate that you travelled like 250 mile for sex (big lol) but that does not give you the right to demand or expect it.

All you have is a big dick that sounds to big to use on most, should be grateful, poor lass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

"

Maybe she was being polite and hospitable and you freaked as you aren't used to manners? And it's surely her choice not to fuck anyone who might cause her pain or discomfort if he happens to have something large in his trousers (or is that pants?).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went back with the boss of the client we were trying to impress after a company function. I'd had too many cocktails and we started fumbling in the hallway up to his flat, when we got to his room I took his penis in my mouth and the cocktails decided to come back up! He called me a cab and I went home. Needless to say... we lost the job!"

But you went the extra mile.....good work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

Maybe she was being polite and hospitable and you freaked as you aren't used to manners? And it's surely her choice not to fuck anyone who might cause her pain or discomfort if he happens to have something large in his trousers (or is that pants?). "

I've refused to shag a few men because they been to big for me

I don't see the problem, I'm not an escort you haven't paid for my time so I can change my mind whenever and for whatever reason

Saying that I don't go out my way to meet men I'm not going to shag and I always say I don't meet guys over 8 inch, its even on my profile, though I've had a few lie and say they are smaller, obviously thinking I will fuck them anyway if we meet, I don't and I see that as their fault for no being honest

Women you meet have the rights to change their mind at any time during a meet, as do men

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By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

I went to Dublin for a hotel meet with a couple I'd been chatting to for a few weeks. Had drinks and all got on well. We headed to the hotel and got down to business. They were definitely older than they'd advertised but were in good shape. We all started playing and I was getting a fantastic blow job whilst the husband started fucking her from behind. After not too long he came inside her. He muttered something about round two always being better and sat down on a chair to watch. Anyway she asked me to fuck her. So I put a condom on and was fucking away doggy style both facing the husband why was playing with himself obviously trying to get hard again. I'd never done sloppy seconds before but it was hugely turning me on and I was giving a pretty good performance to be honest. Problem was he wouldn't take his eyes off me and it was kinda off putting. We changed position and she rode me on top. Cos I was after a few drinks I was no where near coming and she was really having a good time. I don't know how long we were at it but suddenly he jumped up and started shouting "enough is enough, I'm not being humiliated any more!" He told her get off we are leaving. To her eternal credit she got off but insisted she had to finish me off by hand. Which she duly did whilst the husband is standing at the door telling her to hurry the fuck up. Anyway I came and all was good. Maybe not a disaster but was very odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My worse/most embarrassing sexual experience was in a club, I'd been talking to a guy and we went to a room, mid way through my body decided it was time to come on, I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but that nature for you, anyway when the guy realised he freaked out calling me a dirty bitch etc, grabbed his towel and left, I headed for the showers for obvious reasons only to find he was there telling everybody in ear shot of him what had happened, when he saw me he even pointed me out to everybody

I was so embarrassed I got dressed and left "

That's such a bastard thing to do, what an absolute arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

"

You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's disgraceful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a guy, VVWE! Had great sex and repeated several times! He got all ready to go again but when he went to reach for a condom we had run out, so he went to pick a used one up from the floor and started putting it on! Needless to say I sat up and put my legs together very quickly! I couldn't believe he thought that would have been ok!

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

I was at a club with my fiance about 3 years ago, said club is now unfortunately a car park ( still gutted about that). Met a couple whilSt in there and we all got on great. They said they were the same age as us (mid to late 20s). We're a soft swap couple and they agreed they were happy to play that way. Anyways in the room the female half kept trying to have full sex with my fiance to which he kept explaining we were soft swap, then all of a sudden it was like she was suddenly plastered. We had to dress her and put them both in a taxi, the whole while she was crying because I'd touched her fella.

Long story short they broke up a bit later and the male half contacted us and told us the female had only just turned 18 when we met. Was a but miffed about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Holiday. Swimming pool. Banjo. Snap. Blood

"

That's happened to me but not in a pool...horrendous like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that!!!"

if that was you, I wouldn't worry, it poses worse for him by miles, P.S what cookies did you offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had a few rank smelling vaginas in my time unfortunately.

And smelly arseholes while you are banging them from behind.

Also ive found tiny bits of toilet paper in the crevices of a womans flaps before where shes obviously wiped herself after going for a wee.

Thats probably why I prefer a good sex session after we have both had a bath or shower and all squeeky clean and smelling of nothing but a freshly washed body.

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By *iss InnocenceWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Mine has to b taking a young lad back to mine from the pub and we were to hammer todo anything and in the morning I noticed he had pissed my bed and left wivout telling me

Worse off fab to many to mention but all involve guys who came to quickly,one came as he put the condom on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mine has to b taking a young lad back to mine from the pub and we were to hammer todo anything and in the morning I noticed he had pissed my bed and left wivout telling me

Worse off fab to many to mention but all involve guys who came to quickly,one came as he put the condom on

"

LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had a bad sexual experience, neither has anyone ~I have been with. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lady sit on my face and started rimming her only to soon realise she had parasitic worms. It's was border line chucking up time!!

Straight to the doctors for a human grade worm pill!!

She was totally mortified as she did not know !!"

Yuck... errrrr made me laugh but you defiantly win .im still laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some of these are hilarious.

I once was busy with a super hot girl (hottest girl I've ever slept with by far, met her through a Gumtree advert back in the day and booked a hotel room) and things where going well. I was loving running my hands over her smooth, firm body and grabbing at her tight ass... loving it. She could suck cock so well too... her bra came off to reveal perfect tits and nipples... and eventually time for her panties to come off, which were soaked from me rubbing her through them.

AND. THEN. IT. HIT. ME.

The most foul smelling pussy I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. And she kept on saying "smell how wet I am for you!" and referring to it as her "sex musk"...

I made some crappy excuse about needing water, then needing to get dressed to buy a Coke from the vending machine and I fuuuuucked off. It was THAT BAD.

"

That's made me laugh as much as the worms one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a date a lady invited me back to her place, we were getting on really well and ended up in bed. She wanted me on top, after about five minutes of what seemed to be mutual enjoyment she suddenly shouted "STOP, GET OFF, you don't like me!". I got off and she said "You haven't cum yet, you don't like me!". I explained that I normally take at least that time to cum. She replied "Guys only need a couple of minutes!" and repeated "You don't like me!". I made a hasty exit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are all just hilarious! Tell you mine now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my ex had a really amazing all day sex session in bed with hours of play games and many orgasms. However, when she came for the last time riding me she lost all lower muscle control, shitting and cuming on me at the same time! Neither of us realised what had happened until the smell started to hit our noses.

This scenario had never crossed my mind was even possible.

On one hand i was actually childishly proud and chuffed that we had so much sex it happened.

On the other hand i was unsure how to then handle the situation.

She was mortified and embarrassed. I played the whole thing down telling her it was totally fine and nothing to worry about and quietly cleaned myself up. To be fair although im not into being shat on it didn't bother me.

So probably the best and worst all in one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worst sexual experience every was when I met a girl from Manchester.... I got to her place and she offered me tea with milk and a blue tin of sugar topped butter cookies..... After this dreadful attempt at hospitality, she leads me over to a sofa but she calls it a settee..

We start making out and she pulls out my junk.... next thing you know .... she says you're not fucking me with that thing..... but I'll give you wank.... great .... I travelled all this way up north to get something I could do in London for free... I told her forget it can I have something to eat? She has the nerve to say to me sure " I'll make you some porridge "

Who in the world would think that offering a guest tea , cookies , porridge , and a wank would be acceptable is beyond me?

Needless to say I swore of all women from Manchester ever since....

You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that!!!"
sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure I can recall the WORST but, in general, I deem it to be a failure if the woman asks me "have you finished now?".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i once took a girl home from a club and was going great, but then she went to give me a bj and she was so harsh and fierce with it that my penis started bleeding

kinda killed the mood"
fuck if she's on here I'll avoid her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my first meets on here was a nightmare,i was having treatment on my teeth,and was waiting for a couple of screw in ones,the dentist gave me a plate until they were ready ..i went on the meet and things got steamy.Then all of a sudden he started screaming,as i was giving him oral.The wire at the back of the plate had caught on the foreskin,it was bleeding badly,i had to prize the plate out,leave it on his foreskin and try and get it off,i did,but he was bleeding real bad,he asked me to take him to the A/E but i couldnt as i worked there.He was so mad but i saw the funny side of it wnen i was driving home,and couldnt stop laughing.And i told my dentist what happened the next day and he was laughing to,he cut off the wires though.Poor man he hasnt spoken to me since.

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Worse one for me (dax)

Having an amazing session and getting totally lost in it all.....just given her an amazing anal orgasm so decided it was time for a break...

So i pull out to go clean myself off (when caving expect to find a bear)

Anyways....i pull out and she spins round and whacks my cock in her mouth...started sucking really hard and at this point im already pretty mortified....after a few seconds it dawned on her things didnt quite taste right shall we say....

Then it was a mad rush to the bathroom to see who could throw up in the toilet and who got the sink....

Mood killed

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

That was before boo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of my first meets on here was a nightmare,i was having treatment on my teeth,and was waiting for a couple of screw in ones,the dentist gave me a plate until they were ready ..i went on the meet and things got steamy.Then all of a sudden he started screaming,as i was giving him oral.The wire at the back of the plate had caught on the foreskin,it was bleeding badly,i had to prize the plate out,leave it on his foreskin and try and get it off,i did,but he was bleeding real bad,he asked me to take him to the A/E but i couldnt as i worked there.He was so mad but i saw the funny side of it wnen i was driving home,and couldnt stop laughing.And i told my dentist what happened the next day and he was laughing to,he cut off the wires though.Poor man he hasnt spoken to me since."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my ex wife and I stayed overnight in a hotel after a wedding and while fuckin her from behind I must have gotten overly confident in the length of my cock cos I pulled back too far and popped out and when I thrust forward again the perfectly manicured fingernail on the finger she was rubbing her clit with went straight up my japs eye, leaving me in agony and her in hysterics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did I ever tell you about the time I got carpet burn on my forehead? That was one of my worst experiences full stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know but the women I've had sex with do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been chatting then got invited for a meet, got in asked to undress & come upstairs. Half way through door rings another 2 blokes come in asked to undress too turns out was a gangbang! Upstairs room full of 6 blokes choking their sausages her on the bed. Mad an excuse got my stuff & left, thought was bit misleading

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By *unguy2757Man
over a year ago

newcastle

A really good fem friend of mine told me how she took a guy back to hers after a rather night out in newcastle .. .. he's started eating her pussy and fell asleep ... lol ... ... ... omfg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My worse/most embarrassing sexual experience was in a club, I'd been talking to a guy and we went to a room, mid way through my body decided it was time to come on, I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but that nature for you, anyway when the guy realised he freaked out calling me a dirty bitch etc, grabbed his towel and left, I headed for the showers for obvious reasons only to find he was there telling everybody in ear shot of him what had happened, when he saw me he even pointed me out to everybody

I was so embarrassed I got dressed and left "

what a scumbag.

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By *arlolad71Man
over a year ago

darlington

Ouch.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a very nice, stunningly handsome young man at a bar in central Newport, South Wales. It was just an ordinary town center bar, nothing plush but not shabby either. It wasn't a planned meet, just two guys at a bar who got chatting. We chatted for a couple of hours, had a few too many drinks, he invited me to his so off we set. Back at his house, another drink, a kiss, light fondle and whispers of things we'd love to do to each other. Up we went to his room, low lights, stripped, kissed, got into bed, pulled the covers up for some serious kissing and touching. He dissappears under the quilt and starts giving me a very soft and VERY enjoyable bj.

Then the door opens, in walks his sister, starts talking to me. The lad was still below the cover giving me head. The sister calls for the mum, she comes in and then the lad comes up from under the cover, mainly I think, because I'd gone soft at this point. So there we are, me and him under the cover, his sister and mum sitting on the bed, chatting away like there's no tomorrow. Strange that I felt the mood had been ruined

I would have stayed the night under normal circumstances but when the sister left she said she hoped we'd have a good fuck and the mum said make sure we changed the sheets in the morning I felt the time was right to leave

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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

Shagging a girlfriend on her kitchen floor and lino burnt the tops of my poes to the point i struggled to get shoes on afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The things that I have done as a teenager, the places we go, when we want to have sex, NO way was I going to shag her in the playing field, after she rolled in some dog shit

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

Nowhere near any of yours but amusing to look back on.... few years ago Domme was on top riding me when I slowly reached under the cover, took out the riding crop with the big leather end... thinking 'I'll give her a good crack on the arse make the first a good one', drew back the crop, swoosh!, crack! .... square in my balls!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of my first meets on here was a nightmare,i was having treatment on my teeth,and was waiting for a couple of screw in ones,the dentist gave me a plate until they were ready ..i went on the meet and things got steamy.Then all of a sudden he started screaming,as i was giving him oral.The wire at the back of the plate had caught on the foreskin,it was bleeding badly,i had to prize the plate out,leave it on his foreskin and try and get it off,i did,but he was bleeding real bad,he asked me to take him to the A/E but i couldnt as i worked there.He was so mad but i saw the funny side of it wnen i was driving home,and couldnt stop laughing.And i told my dentist what happened the next day and he was laughing to,he cut off the wires though.Poor man he hasnt spoken to me since.

"

Hahaha thats funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did I ever tell you about the time I got carpet burn on my forehead? That was one of my worst experiences full stop "

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago whilst In LA, went out with a lady friend of mine and had quite a few drinks, she had far too many tequilas.

Anyway she decided to stay with me that night but had no idea what was to follow. Sex wasn't on the menu as we were friends.

Whilst laying in bed, Out of the blue she just came out and said "Do you fancy fucking my arse?

Well I truly obliged...

It only lasted a couple of minutes before she covered the entire bed in doo doo. The place stank and to make matters worse, she rolled in it too and unfortunately for her got it in her hair.

D*unk crazy bitch.

I spent the next hour cleaning her and the hotel room.

Typically though, the following morning, she didn't remember any of it. Marvelous

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By *oshtottyCouple
over a year ago

brentwood

My x like a nackerd sack of spuds h j.gravesend

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