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Open relationship do they work

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Contemplating entering an open relationship anyone had any experience wether good or bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of communication and honesty helped me with one a while back but they can get difficult

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Supposed it's battling the jealousy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know about open relationships.

However I'm a relationship anarchist (kind of a form of polyamory) and it's worked well for me for the last few years.

One of my partners has been polyamorous with his nesting partner for over twenty years, and we've been together for nearly five now.

Multiple partner relationships can work. It depends on the people. Just like single partner relationships.

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

need a relationship first lol.....I'm trying....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lol I'm the same manhunter

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By *ipswingCouple
over a year ago

portrush

for us it is has .... ....

decided, from the start,it was better to be honest about our sexual adventures,than cheat..

that was over 20 years ago....touch wood....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals. "

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with."

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that."
I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that. I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner. "

You don't love your friends? Your children? Your parents? Your relatives?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think it's all about honesty. If you know you're in an open relationship and you're happy with that then it's fine, there's no worry about cheating and you can both enjoy sex with other people even at the same time.

But not only do you have to be honest with your partner you have to be honest with yourself. Are you really ok with your partner seeing other people? Last thing you want is to go into a relationship like that and then realise you're not happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally think it's all about honesty. If you know you're in an open relationship and you're happy with that then it's fine, there's no worry about cheating and you can both enjoy sex with other people even at the same time.

But not only do you have to be honest with your partner you have to be honest with yourself. Are you really ok with your partner seeing other people? Last thing you want is to go into a relationship like that and then realise you're not happy"

I would have thought that most people on a swinging site would be ok with their partners seeing other people. This is hardly the place for exclusivity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can work if women don't become jealous..

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"It can work if women don't become jealous.."

Or men. I'm also a 'relationship anarchist' (still love that term!) and have found both men and women experience jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally think it's all about honesty. If you know you're in an open relationship and you're happy with that then it's fine, there's no worry about cheating and you can both enjoy sex with other people even at the same time.

But not only do you have to be honest with your partner you have to be honest with yourself. Are you really ok with your partner seeing other people? Last thing you want is to go into a relationship like that and then realise you're not happy

I would have thought that most people on a swinging site would be ok with their partners seeing other people. This is hardly the place for exclusivity."

You'd be surprised, a fair few people on sites like these join for the excitement as it's something new or join because they've been pressured into it by a partner and it's not until they actually try it until they know if they like it or not.

At the same time though those people don't outnumber the people who are here because they love to swing and as for my other comment of not knowing before they try I don't believe that's reason enough to not give it a go so I see your point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can work if women don't become jealous..

Or men. I'm also a 'relationship anarchist' (still love that term!) and have found both men and women experience jealousy. "

I'm more of the out of site out mind kinda guy... as long as I don't have to hear about who you're sleeping with. I'm cool

The women I've dated not so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can work if women don't become jealous..

Or men. I'm also a 'relationship anarchist' (still love that term!) and have found both men and women experience jealousy.

I'm more of the out of site out mind kinda guy... as long as I don't have to hear about who you're sleeping with. I'm cool

The women I've dated not so much"

I could never personally be with someone who was a 'don't ask, don't tell' kind of person. It wouldn't be open and honest enough for me. And I think openness and honesty is the key to making things work for the long haul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband and I have a semi-open-relationship. We've built it up gradually over 3 years with regards to increasing our comfort levels as and when we're ready. We were monogamous for 9 years. We have different rules for each other because we have different sensitivities. I am probably more relaxed than him, but we both find it a turn-on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how much christian you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not my idea of a relationship but if you are both on the same page i guess it could work

But both of you just being cool with the idea of an open relationship wouldn't be enough. An open relationship can mean so many different things. Someone above mentioned seeing as well as banging other people lol

I don't associate any of that with the term 'relationship'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would mean the love and normal loving relationship without being restricted to one Sexual partner

I was married for 12 years and he ended up cheating and our sex life had become extremely dull

Byt mow I'd like the Sexual freedom

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By *cutebum9Couple
over a year ago

wallsend

Works for us slut loves cock and fucking 24/7 and I get turned on knowing she's with someone for sex. I sometimes get sent the pics and end up handed a wet pair of knickers when she returns to me so it's all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the person.did it a few years back worked well and we still talk maybe fuck when we get together shouldnt tho as she now has a man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would mean the love and normal loving relationship without being restricted to one Sexual partner

I was married for 12 years and he ended up cheating and our sex life had become extremely dull

Byt mow I'd like the Sexual freedom "

Go for it. Have a look online and see if you can find a local poly meetup. It's a good way to find out more and meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that. I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner.

You don't love your friends? Your children? Your parents? Your relatives?"
That's a different conversation completely. I was talking about the difference between sex and love with swinging partners and your wife or husband. The love you feel fir other family and friends is entirely outside the parameters of this discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that. I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner.

You don't love your friends? Your children? Your parents? Your relatives? That's a different conversation completely. I was talking about the difference between sex and love with swinging partners and your wife or husband. The love you feel fir other family and friends is entirely outside the parameters of this discussion.

"

I don't think it is. I think you can love more than one partner. If you want to. Just like you can love more than one child, more than one friend, or more than one parent.

You just need to open your mind to the possibility of having those kinds of feelings for more than one person.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"It can work if women don't become jealous.."

Men become jealous too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Contemplating entering an open relationship anyone had any experience wether good or bad "

I've only ever had bad experiences tbh, she was pretty and out of my league so got a lot more attention lol it was quite hard to take and was second guessing all the time but that was more because it was all one way. I just got fucked over basically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Contemplating entering an open relationship anyone had any experience wether good or bad

I've only ever had bad experiences tbh, she was pretty and out of my league so got a lot more attention lol it was quite hard to take and was second guessing all the time but that was more because it was all one way. I just got fucked over basically "
like I said .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/17 15:54:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" like I said ."

I have a number of partners who have been in happy open relationships for many years. Decades. I have been in multiple partner relationships myself for half a decade.

Some people have good experiences. Some people have bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" like I said .

I have a number of partners who have been in happy open relationships for many years. Decades. I have been in multiple partner relationships myself for half a decade.

Some people have good experiences. Some people have bad."
but have you ever found love ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" like I said .

I have a number of partners who have been in happy open relationships for many years. Decades. I have been in multiple partner relationships myself for half a decade.

Some people have good experiences. Some people have bad.but have you ever found love ?"

I think love is the reason some allow it, that was my reasoning, I didn't play whereas she did and felt more like a one sided open relationship all in the name of love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" like I said .

I have a number of partners who have been in happy open relationships for many years. Decades. I have been in multiple partner relationships myself for half a decade.

Some people have good experiences. Some people have bad.

but have you ever found love ?"

Yes. With more than one person at once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think love is the reason some allow it, that was my reasoning, I didn't play whereas she did and felt more like a one sided open relationship all in the name of love"

I'm sorry you felt that way. Nobody should be in any relationship where they feel like they're being used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm sorry you felt that way. Nobody should be in any relationship where they feel like they're being used."

Seriously it's fine, I'm past it now and no longer allow it to affect me TBH I shouldn't of allowed it to go as far as it did x

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Lol I'm the same manhunter"

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


" like I said .

I have a number of partners who have been in happy open relationships for many years. Decades. I have been in multiple partner relationships myself for half a decade.

Some people have good experiences. Some people have bad.but have you ever found love ?

I think love is the reason some allow it, that was my reasoning, I didn't play whereas she did and felt more like a one sided open relationship all in the name of love"

In that situation I'm not surprised you found it one sided - if a relationship is going to be "open" (whatever the individual definition of "open" you come up with is) it should also be equal i.e. whatever boundaries apply to one partner applies just the same to the other.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's like swinging, don't getnjelousnor it won't work. Honesty helps a lot and if either of you decides enough is enough, then knock it on the head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apologies if this has already been said but the whole idea of choosing between closed vs. open relationships is a fallacy. They are both bad. The former is where you don't even let your partner have friends outside the relationship and the latter is where you let them do whatever they like off in private. Both are recipes for disaster. In reality most people have relationships that are open to a degree. Rather than fling the doors wide open I'd advise you work with your partner on progressively opening it until you reach a point you're both comfortable with. Swinging, of course, can be part of that adventure Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies if this has already been said but the whole idea of choosing between closed vs. open relationships is a fallacy. They are both bad. The former is where you don't even let your partner have friends outside the relationship and the latter is where you let them do whatever they like off in private. Both are recipes for disaster. In reality most people have relationships that are open to a degree. Rather than fling the doors wide open I'd advise you work with your partner on progressively opening it until you reach a point you're both comfortable with. Swinging, of course, can be part of that adventure Good luck "

I think you should pm me I think I could learn a lot from you ha! Wise words I must say, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that. I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner.

You don't love your friends? Your children? Your parents? Your relatives? That's a different conversation completely. I was talking about the difference between sex and love with swinging partners and your wife or husband. The love you feel fir other family and friends is entirely outside the parameters of this discussion.

I don't think it is. I think you can love more than one partner. If you want to. Just like you can love more than one child, more than one friend, or more than one parent.

You just need to open your mind to the possibility of having those kinds of feelings for more than one person."

I agree with this, but you need to be with the right person in the 1st place, one who will be understanding, and open minded...it is a build up of trust...not keeping anything regarding the relationship from each other...where it goes wrong is when one half feels left out...so Communication and understanding, loads of listening, and taking it one small step at a time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes they can. You need to separate love from sex. My wife and I have been together over 30 years and have always enjoyed other partners over the years as a couple or more often than not as individuals.

Although, you don't *need* to separate emotions from sex. Emotions/feelings aren't limited in quantity - the more you give away, the more you'll find yourself with.

i'd like this. being able to love someone and they don't try to restrict me to themselves sexually but do love me back and tell me that. I agree that it is much better to have a certain amount of feelings for a partner to make the experience feel better but love is not for anyone other than your life partner.

You don't love your friends? Your children? Your parents? Your relatives? That's a different conversation completely. I was talking about the difference between sex and love with swinging partners and your wife or husband. The love you feel fir other family and friends is entirely outside the parameters of this discussion.

I don't think it is. I think you can love more than one partner. If you want to. Just like you can love more than one child, more than one friend, or more than one parent.

You just need to open your mind to the possibility of having those kinds of feelings for more than one person."
I understand what you are saying but are you mistaking feelings for sexual partners to those of wifes and husbands? I have had genuine feelings for partners I have met regularly but they could not be described as love. They just added to the intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in and have been in various relationships which have all worked well. My current is over a year and we are both in the scene.

We are open and honest and can see who we wish.

I myself am poly where as my partner isn't but we are open and do enjoy playing separately.

If you open and honest I cannot see any issues.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'm all for a Poly triad myself.

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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

We are starting to play seperately, but with the rule that we have to be open about it and are both in contact with the other persons. We've agreed that the focus should be on relationships with other open couples rather than singles. It's early days so far, so we'll see how it goes.

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By *uthLessKnickersCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall/Devon

It works for us. We both have other partners/relationships as well as our own. Trust, honesty, and communication is paramount.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're all mad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of us been playing alone and together for 26 years now, works for us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all extremely good insight xx

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