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Swinging regrets

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Has swinging ever led anyone else into something they shouldn't have done.

It was quite a long time ago but I was working night shifts at the time, one guy got chatting in the break room about how he would like to try swinging with his wife.

I told him it was something we had enjoyed, anyway cut a long story short it ended with us having sex.

This wasn't swinging of course, my husband didn't know and his wife certainly didn't.

It's not something I'm proud of, wish I had kept my mouth shut about being into swinging

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Has swinging ever led anyone else into something they shouldn't have done.

It was quite a long time ago but I was working night shifts at the time, one guy got chatting in the break room about how he would like to try swinging with his wife.

I told him it was something we had enjoyed, anyway cut a long story short it ended with us having sex.

This wasn't swinging of course, my husband didn't know and his wife certainly didn't.

It's not something I'm proud of, wish I had kept my mouth shut about being into swinging "

You could of maybe told him you were into swinging without taking his cock?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Not a regret for the shining bit but I do regret drinking two bottles of wine,due to nervous, then crying, throwing up and passing out.

From what little I recall of that night I enjoyed myself and the couple invited us back on many occasions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Has swinging ever led anyone else into something they shouldn't have done.

It was quite a long time ago but I was working night shifts at the time, one guy got chatting in the break room about how he would like to try swinging with his wife.

I told him it was something we had enjoyed, anyway cut a long story short it ended with us having sex.

This wasn't swinging of course, my husband didn't know and his wife certainly didn't.

It's not something I'm proud of, wish I had kept my mouth shut about being into swinging

You could of maybe told him you were into swinging without taking his cock?"

Haha yes but as I said I was cutting a long story short

The talk was just a build up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We regret full swapping too early, we're okay but we didn't really want to do it but went with the flow. Not something we enjoyed.

H xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

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By *otwife8690Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

I have this same problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret paying for all those damn hotel rooms

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

I would rush into the whole saying No thing too soon, give it a month or so.

Unrelated, fancy meeting up in the next month?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret allowing my ex to meet as it was the reason why the relationship eventually broke down. Communication is key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

I would rush into the whole saying No thing too soon, give it a month or so.

Unrelated, fancy meeting up in the next month? "

He he, smooth!

Eve. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

Maybe if alcohol is a factor in your mistakes and regrets??

Try not drinking on meets and in certain situations and then you can keep a clear head and make the right decisions for you and not decisions clouded by alcohol that you regret afterwards.

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By *exy hot ass 2017Woman
over a year ago

caerphilly

Mine was doing it with my x was awfull he was only interested in other women .x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes there are few stuffs I regret

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

Maybe if alcohol is a factor in your mistakes and regrets??

Try not drinking on meets and in certain situations and then you can keep a clear head and make the right decisions for you and not decisions clouded by alcohol that you regret afterwards.

"

Nope, it's not alcohol ha ha. I don't drink very much at all. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and I don't know how to say that I'm not into it..so I just let it happen and feel horrid after.

Eve. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

Maybe if alcohol is a factor in your mistakes and regrets??

Try not drinking on meets and in certain situations and then you can keep a clear head and make the right decisions for you and not decisions clouded by alcohol that you regret afterwards.

Nope, it's not alcohol ha ha. I don't drink very much at all. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and I don't know how to say that I'm not into it..so I just let it happen and feel horrid after.

Eve. X"

Are you guys free later?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

Maybe if alcohol is a factor in your mistakes and regrets??

Try not drinking on meets and in certain situations and then you can keep a clear head and make the right decisions for you and not decisions clouded by alcohol that you regret afterwards.

Nope, it's not alcohol ha ha. I don't drink very much at all. I just don't like hurting people's feelings and I don't know how to say that I'm not into it..so I just let it happen and feel horrid after.

Eve. X"

Gorgeous, sweet and sensitive...irresistible !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

I feel your pain... I just retired this year and it's hard letting go.. What I can suggest is get a hobby, join the gym , runners club , or start volunteering at a local charity.... if you need to keep up with the swinging scene from a far... join a USA based swinging site and terrorize there forums.... it will keep you entertained but without the risk of meeting... good luck

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

I don't think that what you have said would or should be looked down upon. I think many couples on here would have worries that what you have described could easily happen to others if people come to swinging too early in life, or perhaps just at the wrong time in their life.

I think that's why many people don't want to play with very young people (obviously still 18+) or virgins.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I think it's valuable for other people to hear. I am a strong believer that early sexual experiences shape your future sexual experiences, behavior and feelings about sex.

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By *exatooCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

(Mrs)

Me also ... so many people get the hump though when you have the audacity to say no thanks. We are learning fast.

Also I can't believe just because I'm Bi the amount of women that expect me to go down on them just because they are there. I am actually more choosy with my women than I am with my men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regret falling for a woman I met on here, she came and stayed at my house every weekend for 8 weeks but didn't want a relationship? I confessed my feelings for her and was left heart broken.

No hard feelings towards her and it was my choice to stop meeting her but was a real low for me.

We live and learn and I'm happy with my new lady now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

You really aren't alone on that! I've had two social meets recently and I knew within minutes that I didn't fancy them or really want to spend time with them but didn't feel I could say sorry, I've changed my mind. So lesson I've learnt from that, quick coffee somewhere and nothing else, saves awkward silences and embarrassment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

A very honest and touching admission, I don't think this is exclusive to single males, it strikes me that there are more than a few here -male and female - whose self-esteem is contingent on their ability to "pull" strangers for sex or get new pics fabbed on a daily basis. It's definitely a slippery slope for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really do regrets. The important thing is to learn by your mistakes!

However I can relate to the "being soft" bit. Having trouble saying no when your in certain situations.

In the past I have been known to give a "pity shag" because I felt I couldn't say no.

You live and learn and I don't put myself in those positions anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't really do regrets. The important thing is to learn by your mistakes!

However I can relate to the "being soft" bit. Having trouble saying no when your in certain situations.

In the past I have been known to give a "pity shag" because I felt I couldn't say no.

You live and learn and I don't put myself in those positions anymore. "

Exactly this, if you continue making the same mistakes and regretting them, you really need to change your behaviour and develop healthy boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think you'll regret something later. Don't do it.

I don't have regrets for things I've done, only things I didn't do. There is a blurred line there, but I try not to beat myself up about things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here!

A very honest and touching admission, I don't think this is exclusive to single males, it strikes me that there are more than a few here -male and female - whose self-esteem is contingent on their ability to "pull" strangers for sex or get new pics fabbed on a daily basis. It's definitely a slippery slope for some."

Yes there's quite a few people who frequent places like this with issues of low self esteem and who are emotionally damaged to varying degrees.

They use these places in the hope it in some way will help their feelings of lack of self worth and the attention they lack and crave in real life.

It can indeed be a slippery slope for many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few from over the years on Fab, but look at them as lessons rather than regrets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here!

I don't think that what you have said would or should be looked down upon. I think many couples on here would have worries that what you have described could easily happen to others if people come to swinging too early in life, or perhaps just at the wrong time in their life.

I think that's why many people don't want to play with very young people (obviously still 18+) or virgins.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I think it's valuable for other people to hear. I am a strong believer that early sexual experiences shape your future sexual experiences, behavior and feelings about sex."

I would like to add that the swinging world has element of brutality in the level we objectify each other (some more than others). Swinging is pure pleasure when you find your niche or the level of play you are comfortable with, but to find this balance the trial and error can be hell, you definitely need thick skin. People meeting solo are in a vulrable position for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature! "

And you hopefully keep an eye on your alcohol intake too so you can try an avoid a situation like that happening again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

Thank you for posting that. It's clarified a lot for me. I need to quit this place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature!

And you hopefully keep an eye on your alcohol intake too so you can try an avoid a situation like that happening again.

"

Yes, lessons learnt and not been to a club since

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here!

I feel your pain... I just retired this year and it's hard letting go.. What I can suggest is get a hobby, join the gym , runners club , or start volunteering at a local charity.... if you need to keep up with the swinging scene from a far... join a USA based swinging site and terrorize there forums.... it will keep you entertained but without the risk of meeting... good luck"

Good advice xx

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here! "

I would like to echo what others have said about this being the reason we dont play with much younger swingers. I know where I was emotionally at your age .... I honestly think it would be hard to deal with at such a young age. I think the sex equivalent of AA would be a good place to deal with some of those issues too.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton


"Has swinging ever led anyone else into something they shouldn't have done.

It was quite a long time ago but I was working night shifts at the time, one guy got chatting in the break room about how he would like to try swinging with his wife.

I told him it was something we had enjoyed, anyway cut a long story short it ended with us having sex.

This wasn't swinging of course, my husband didn't know and his wife certainly didn't.

It's not something I'm proud of, wish I had kept my mouth shut about being into swinging "

We regret not starting swinging when we were a bit younger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"Weirdly enough, for someone who lost his virginity swinging (and with nobody the wiser for it at the time) my biggest regret is actually starting swinging in the first place.

I know it's not a popular opinion here for anyone to say and it's close to being tantamount to community suicide here, but I'll say it. I started swinging out of rebellion in my adolescence, and also because I was so desperate for some sort of connection to someone else of the different sex that I thought foregoing the emotional connection and bringing myself down to just accepting the physical carnal pleasures on demand by others was a worthy and suitable downgraded compromise to hold.

Not a good idea. I've no complaints about my physical sex life, and heck I've had lots of experience which would put me in good stead in later life sexually, not to mention make myself toe envy of many a typical vanilla guy who would jerk off to things I got to do in real life. But emotionally swinging killed whatever was left of my self-confidence and esteem, because as a single male swinger you often feel like a piece of meat and a sideshow for any female or couple to pick and choose at their own whim and you get condensed into some ridiculous physical judgement of whether you're a worthy partner or not.

But, to me swinging is like drugs. I can't quit, though I've struggled with it more times than I'd care to admit. Both my previous attempts at a relationship with a girl happened when I was at my absolute lowest emotionally from swinging and the dry spells that came with them, and I hated the vulnerability of it in hindsight; how badly swinging deprived me of my emotional growth as a single male whilst so effectively camouflaging it under physical sexual enjoyment with others. Needless to say, both my attempts at relationships failed (entirely not my fault, and believe me I find it easier to take blame than claim total innocence), and swinging merely stalls/slightly builds up one's self confidence again when the rare good meet comes along, or it just crushes it even further when you are still stuck in a dry rut which seems to prove that even when you take emotions out of the picture and reduce yourself to physical attractiveness you're still never going to be good enough for anyone around your area to have a casual roll in the hay with.

Sorry, I'm not sure if my rant/words make any sense to you all here!

I don't think that what you have said would or should be looked down upon. I think many couples on here would have worries that what you have described could easily happen to others if people come to swinging too early in life, or perhaps just at the wrong time in their life.

I think that's why many people don't want to play with very young people (obviously still 18+) or virgins.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I think it's valuable for other people to hear. I am a strong believer that early sexual experiences shape your future sexual experiences, behavior and feelings about sex."

Very True, totally agree with both of you

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By *ikstupp2Man
over a year ago

london


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

No is overrated lol

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No regrets as such - yes some meets we wouldn't do again and we have often found it hard to say no. We've also realised that there is far more hype and talk about swinging - than there is actual swinging itself. Attractive single fems are very rare and the amount of attractive couples that actually swing is also not so great.

If you don't like clubs (which we don't) it's a pretty quiet scene really.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I regret spraining my ankle during a 7way.....

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By *ikstupp2Man
over a year ago

london


"I regret spraining my ankle during a 7way..... "

Me n my pals r on our way with our crotches....sorry crutches lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No regrets as such - yes some meets we wouldn't do again and we have often found it hard to say no. We've also realised that there is far more hype and talk about swinging - than there is actual swinging itself. Attractive single fems are very rare and the amount of attractive couples that actually swing is also not so great.

If you don't like clubs (which we don't) it's a pretty quiet scene really."

What do you think is the reason why from your experience that there are few attractive single women and couples who actually swing ?

And are you saying its mainly the ugly munters who have to swing to get the attention and a shag ?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"No regrets as such - yes some meets we wouldn't do again and we have often found it hard to say no. We've also realised that there is far more hype and talk about swinging - than there is actual swinging itself. Attractive single fems are very rare and the amount of attractive couples that actually swing is also not so great.

If you don't like clubs (which we don't) it's a pretty quiet scene really.

What do you think is the reason why from your experience that there are few attractive single women and couples who actually swing ?

And are you saying its mainly the ugly munters who have to swing to get the attention and a shag ?

"

We have met plenty of attractive single women and couples, if we haven't played with them, we have certainly socialised

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By *appyman3943Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Regret disturbing the folk in the room next door with the noises during my first ever 4 some meet with another couple. The other lady was a screamer and her hubby a moaner and we had hotel security at the door twice telling us to keep the noise down.

My partner couldn't face the hotel staff at check out the next day so I was left to do the check out of shame on my own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" We have met plenty of attractive single women and couples, if we haven't played with them, we have certainly socialised"

Appreciate that - but we don't class socialising as swinging - we keep our social life completely separate. Perhaps you have hit on an issue i.e. the lines have become blurred between swinging/socialising. Swinging in its purest form is nowhere near as common as people would have you think in our humble opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No regrets as such - yes some meets we wouldn't do again and we have often found it hard to say no. We've also realised that there is far more hype and talk about swinging - than there is actual swinging itself. Attractive single fems are very rare and the amount of attractive couples that actually swing is also not so great.

If you don't like clubs (which we don't) it's a pretty quiet scene really.

What do you think is the reason why from your experience that there are few attractive single women and couples who actually swing ?

And are you saying its mainly the ugly munters who have to swing to get the attention and a shag ?

"

It would take a long time to answer this properly but it's actually a similar reason to why you get lots of male flashers - but v few female ones! i.e. men and women are fundamentally wired differently when it comes to sex. Not condoning flashing btw - just trying to put it in simple biological terms without writing an essay.

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By *s ParisWoman
over a year ago

My Dungeon Room

I met some really nice people swinging over the years on here my biggest regret is trusting a guy from here 3yrs ago I won't go into detail but I ended up in hospital nearly 2wks seriously hurt, took a long time to recover afterwards and I've not been able to swing since, i lost all confidence and trust sad to say. I would like to emphasise the fact that I'm very grateful to the genuine ones I have met and who remain good friends to this day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No regrets as such - yes some meets we wouldn't do again and we have often found it hard to say no. We've also realised that there is far more hype and talk about swinging - than there is actual swinging itself. Attractive single fems are very rare and the amount of attractive couples that actually swing is also not so great.

If you don't like clubs (which we don't) it's a pretty quiet scene really.

What do you think is the reason why from your experience that there are few attractive single women and couples who actually swing ?

And are you saying its mainly the ugly munters who have to swing to get the attention and a shag ?

It would take a long time to answer this properly but it's actually a similar reason to why you get lots of male flashers - but v few female ones! i.e. men and women are fundamentally wired differently when it comes to sex. Not condoning flashing btw - just trying to put it in simple biological terms without writing an essay. "

But would the majority of flashers be attractive on munters?

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I regret spraining my ankle during a 7way.....

Me n my pals r on our way with our crotches....sorry crutches lol"

Well the one I was in was more gals than guys but I'm game for a laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met an ex on here

She was a major player on here

We started a relationship

I moved in leaving me 40 miles away from my kids

We carried on swinging together

Then she went off sex completely

Really hard to take

Caused loads of arguements

We split up

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


" We have met plenty of attractive single women and couples, if we haven't played with them, we have certainly socialised

Appreciate that - but we don't class socialising as swinging - we keep our social life completely separate. Perhaps you have hit on an issue i.e. the lines have become blurred between swinging/socialising. Swinging in its purest form is nowhere near as common as people would have you think in our humble opinion."

We keep our real lives separate too. What I mean is we have met lots of attractive people at clubs and socials .... but we certainly haven't played with all as our tastes are very specific. That doesn't mean they aren't attractive. Plenty of people see swinging as their social life too though. Does that mean they aren't swingers? I had always thought we were on the borders of it as we didn't do this and we aren't into meeting male / female couples

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By *otty69Couple
over a year ago

bedford

Only swinging regret was going Va on there opening night and having too much bubbly and feeling rather sick by 11.30...Mr wasnt too happy about having to go home early

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature!

And you hopefully keep an eye on your alcohol intake too so you can try an avoid a situation like that happening again.

"

yep dont have alcohol ladies ... it makes you fair game and anything that happens is your own fault

I wonder how many men are advised not to drink before getting in a car with a friend in ase that friend takes advantage of them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met some really nice people swinging over the years on here my biggest regret is trusting a guy from here 3yrs ago I won't go into detail but I ended up in hospital nearly 2wks seriously hurt, took a long time to recover afterwards and I've not been able to swing since, i lost all confidence and trust sad to say. I would like to emphasise the fact that I'm very grateful to the genuine ones I have met and who remain good friends to this day."

I hope you got the police involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trusting that pictures are accurate and also jumping straight into a meet and not doing a social first, related to the above!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually can't think of anything I really regret. But I'm extremely controlled, don't do anything spontaneous, don't do anything if I'm not completely sure about it, don't put myself in risky positions and I think the trite adage about "regret what you have done not what you haven't" is one of my least favourite lines. If there's any possibility I'm going to regret something, the chances of me doing it in the first place are very slim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to my first ever meet and it being a local one. Very naive of me I wasn't expecting to know anyone there and i ran into a friends parents. Made it very awkward and knocked my confidence a tad. They were really nice and ended up having a amazing experience but its always going to be a regrettable one... maybe next time i will attend one further a field!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To quote Frank in "New York, New York"

Regrets? Ive had a few but then again to few to mention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" We have met plenty of attractive single women and couples, if we haven't played with them, we have certainly socialised

Appreciate that - but we don't class socialising as swinging - we keep our social life completely separate. Perhaps you have hit on an issue i.e. the lines have become blurred between swinging/socialising. Swinging in its purest form is nowhere near as common as people would have you think in our humble opinion."

Based on the last 7 months of socials and swinging we'd say for every 100 couples on Fab only about 25 are actually up for meeting for a social and, of these, only 2-3 are genuinely meeting with a view to play. The other 22 are just curious. And the remaining 75 are happy keeping it an online fantasy, cyber sex, going to clubs, or aren't even really a couple at all. Does that sound about right to you?

As a result, our area looks promising as there are thousands of couples on Fab. But in reality we've found we keep on bumping into the same 10 or so couples. It's really just us few who are actually swinging. Of course singles are different... They're like rabbits lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/01/17 15:40:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" We have met plenty of attractive single women and couples, if we haven't played with them, we have certainly socialised

Appreciate that - but we don't class socialising as swinging - we keep our social life completely separate. Perhaps you have hit on an issue i.e. the lines have become blurred between swinging/socialising. Swinging in its purest form is nowhere near as common as people would have you think in our humble opinion.

Based on the last 7 months of socials and swinging we'd say for every 100 couples on Fab only about 25 are actually up for meeting for a social and, of these, only 2-3 are genuinely meeting with a view to play. The other 22 are just curious. And the remaining 75 are happy keeping it an online fantasy, cyber sex, going to clubs, or aren't even really a couple at all. Does that sound about right to you?

As a result, our area looks promising as there are thousands of couples on Fab. But in reality we've found we keep on bumping into the same 10 or so couples. It's really just us few who are actually swinging. Of course singles are different... They're like rabbits lol "

I think what you said is pretty accurate.

In the words of Tattoo from Fantasty Island..

Boss...Da plane Da plane!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We've taken things very slowly and after lots of talking it through, have tried things....then talked it through again to check that we were both happy with it. There have been things we've done and probably wouldn't do again but certainly no regrets. Communication & being honest with each other has been our golden rule of swinging (and in everything)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature!

And you hopefully keep an eye on your alcohol intake too so you can try an avoid a situation like that happening again.

yep dont have alcohol ladies ... it makes you fair game and anything that happens is your own fault

I wonder how many men are advised not to drink before getting in a car with a friend in ase that friend takes advantage of them! "

Thank you for pointing this out. I bit my tongue when I read that comment and then got sad to see an abused woman accept this admonition. Talk about adding insult to injury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Going to my first ever meet and it being a local one. Very naive of me I wasn't expecting to know anyone there and i ran into a friends parents. Made it very awkward and knocked my confidence a tad. They were really nice and ended up having a amazing experience but its always going to be a regrettable one... maybe next time i will attend one further a field! "

How did they knock your confidence back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, a few regrets since joining Fab, particularly trusting someone to Escort me to a club who was just a friend who decided to take advantage of me being quite inebriated on the journey home. I'm toughening up and will not allow people to upset me anymore or take advantage of my good nature!

And you hopefully keep an eye on your alcohol intake too so you can try an avoid a situation like that happening again.

yep dont have alcohol ladies ... it makes you fair game and anything that happens is your own fault

I wonder how many men are advised not to drink before getting in a car with a friend in ase that friend takes advantage of them!

Thank you for pointing this out. I bit my tongue when I read that comment and then got sad to see an abused woman accept this admonition. Talk about adding insult to injury.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was the woman who left her husband...

That's up there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I regret getting into it in the first place. Most of the time this lifestyle just gives my confidence a hammering, and it wasn't good to start with, so there are times when I think I'd have been better off if I never started in the first place.

Other than that my regrets are mainly about the things I didn't do, the people I didn't speak to, the chances I missed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's the occasional meet I regret but mostly have had a great time both from my time here on Fab and the years swinging before that.

I remember one spontaneous daytime meet with a couple where they were both completely distracted. He just wanted to watch he said (fine with me) but actually what happened is that they left the TV on in the room and as she and I got down to it he sat there giving a running commentary on what was happening on Homes Under the Hammer. She was lovely but keeping focused was hard work!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Nothing so far, though I'm not one for regrets as the can eat you up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not doing it sooner

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Taking one for the team. I refuse to do that anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely had a few of the feeling obliged to play even if you aren't interested or enjoying it because you don't want to spoil everyone else's experience. I'm toughening up a lot though now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We regret full swapping too early, we're okay but we didn't really want to do it but went with the flow. Not something we enjoyed.

H xx"

We did that too, suspect it probably happens a lot when people are really new!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret not meeting more couples last year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to have regrets too much, however on one occasion I regret not listening to my gut instincts, as I had a really bad experience on a meet.

Other than that, I don't regret anything that made me smile at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love spontaneity, so I have to accept that I cannot regret a situation afterwards.

But I did go to one woman's house as a first meet and discovered her photos did not match her appearance. A bit late as was ushered straight to the bedroom.

Luckily, she didn't like to have the lights on during sex. Mistake but not a regret, served me right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a really soft person and try be nice to everyone. Therefore I'm not very good at telling people that I don't find them attractive.

That has led to many kisses (with females) that I regret and a d*unken first swinging experience (girl on girl) that I regretted alot the next day.

I am going to have to learn to say no I think.

Eve. X

"

We live and learn from our experiences

H x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely had a few of the feeling obliged to play even if you aren't interested or enjoying it because you don't want to spoil everyone else's experience. I'm toughening up a lot though now x"

Same here

H x

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By *9MuppetMan
over a year ago

Bath...ish area

[Removed by poster at 21/01/17 22:59:49]

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By *9MuppetMan
over a year ago

Bath...ish area

[Removed by poster at 21/01/17 23:01:55]

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

No major regrets except some people I probably shouldn't have slept with and social meetings became a bit awkward. Somewhat addicted to sex but quite OK with that (for now)

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By *ilentgirlWoman
over a year ago

That place in

Going to a meet and greet with someone and and as we were sharing the room I felt I had to give a mercy shag, and he was crap!

But did meet a man at meet and greet and let's say we been having lots and lots of fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging regrets

Iv had a few

But to few to mention i just carried on and did it my way

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