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Couple that's "lost"... advice?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi everyone it's the male half of SKC here, I'm looking for some helpful and constructive advice for us as a couple.

I've got my reservations about posting this but here goes, I'll try and keep it as short as possible.

Growing up as a typical lad, I got as much sex as I could from as many girls as possible. By the end of my 20's I'd slept with around 150 (not proud of that). At that point I also had a relationship where the girl went a bit crazy (mental health) and left me, this led to a massive change in my sexual desires from dominant to submissive. Felt myself more and more attracted to femdom, mistresses, dominatrix type stuff.

Three years ago I met Mrs SKC. We click sexually because she's 80% into women and doesn't really enjoy penetrative sex, so a submissive guy like me can actually satisfy her a lot better than an alpha male. We have a great sex life, very fulfilling for us both.

The problem is now we are quite lost in the swinging scene! She doesn't want to go to clubs alone. She often doesn't fancy male halves of couples. I don't fancy any submissive woman (which is 80% of them). We've got no interest in a vanilla soft swap, or vanilla full swap. To add to that we have preferences about body types that exclude a lot of other people.

We've never had a problem attracting other couples looks-wise, but our tastes just seem a bit vague, a bit unusual and so we're now finding we aren't sexually compatible with most of the people who we fancy and who fancy us. We have been in many situations where we're invited to play but there's just zero interest from us.

We now also have a regular single female playmate which is great for Mrs. But Mr doesn't really feel a huge attraction.

Playing with single men interests us, but we had to stop messages from them when most didn't bother to read our (not too long) profile and in any case seldom understand our situation.

So looking for any constructive advice, anyone with similar experiences etc. Is there perhaps a club or event that would more suit our tastes? Or just a case of doing some more searching, more meet adverts etc?

In a nutshell we are sexy but awkward and a bit lost!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You say you have a great sex life which is very fulfilling for both of you. Would it be a huge loss of swinging didn't work out?

Otherwise all I can suggest is listing exactly what you want to get it clear in your mind then stick that on your profile. Search for people and message them asking if they would be interested in your exact criteria.

We understand that it can be quite difficult if you don't fit what most people want.

I hope I haven't misunderstood your post.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" You say you have a great sex life which is very fulfilling for both of you. Would it be a huge loss of swinging didn't work out?

Otherwise all I can suggest is listing exactly what you want to get it clear in your mind then stick that on your profile. Search for people and message them asking if they would be interested in your exact criteria.

We understand that it can be quite difficult if you don't fit what most people want.

I hope I haven't misunderstood your post.

Good luck

"

Thanks

Mrs SKC gets her girl - fix from swinging, mainly in clubs but we also do meets from FAB etc. So that should continue.

And I think we both like meeting new people, the socialising and the sex. Don't like the idea of it just being each other forevermore if that makes sense? Maybe that's an ego thing, I don't know.

Thanks for the input

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm hoping your 'unicorn' you are wheeling out on Friday is aware that you don't find her attractive?! Looks like you really don't know what you want or there are differences of wants/opinions with your other half. Patience and open/honest communication is key here. Good luck on Friday

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

Thanks

Mrs SKC gets her girl - fix from swinging, mainly in clubs but we also do meets from FAB etc. So that should continue.

And I think we both like meeting new people, the socialising and the sex. Don't like the idea of it just being each other forevermore if that makes sense? Maybe that's an ego thing, I don't know.

Thanks for the input "

I understand what you say. I think that you've got very specific requirements and that your approach might be quite individual in the sense that's its quite literal. I found another thread you made quite interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe a change of scenery is needed so instead of swinging try a Kink/BDSM event.

Doll x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a big problem finding another couple where both halves click. We find, more often than not, that one half will be attracted to each other but not the other.

But, in a club environment it's usually possible for each of you to play 'solo' within the club - even on a couples only night. Is that not an option?. Go together but play separately.

Also, try to rediscover eroticism. For many, up to 90% of the thrill of sex is in the head so perhaps try to discover scenarios that are a bit more playful?

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By *ench and StripeCouple
over a year ago

Stenalees

From what you say you may want explore more of the fetish scene more than swinging scene.

There is a lot more social type events to meet people and find people with less pressure than fabs.

If you want more direction mail us and we can point you the right way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the feedback guys it's appreciated. Not sure where to begin but I'll figure something out.

Any more ideas welcome.

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By *unknSoulCouple
over a year ago

dumfries-ish

Feel for you guys. Think you'll find this is a common thing in this lifestyle. Like anything you have a great experience you want it again again so chase it then burn out. We've found not to chase it. It'll hit you head on when you least expect it, then your back on a high. Other people /couples are out there you just haven't met them yet.

patience pays off. XX

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feel for you guys. Think you'll find this is a common thing in this lifestyle. Like anything you have a great experience you want it again again so chase it then burn out. We've found not to chase it. It'll hit you head on when you least expect it, then your back on a high. Other people /couples are out there you just haven't met them yet.

patience pays off. XX"

Mrs from SKC

You've knocked the nail right on the head here!!

Ty X

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