FabSwingers.com forum: Desperate for advice

By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

Advice needed!!!

We've met the perfect couple to encounter our first swinging encounter. But my partner dosnt see why I need time to get my head around this new way of life! I want to do this but he's getting impatient!! I'm not prepared to rush things,my mindset needs to be ready!!!! He's making me feel insecure!!! By his actions of total disregard!! for me needing to be mentally ready!!! Don't want to embarrasse anyone,by freaking out!!! Please help! X

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

All i would say is you need to take it at your own pace, communication is key and if one isnt rwady then id leave it until you are. Theres no rush

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If they are the perfect couple then they'll understand and take it at your pace.

Firstly you need to sort stuff out with your partner. You should never feel pressured and if you do you ought to question the motives you both have.

More often than not boys just get a bit over excited so it may well just be that.

There is no rush though, it's supposed to be fun for all involved.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Advice needed!!!

If you are not comfortable in the first place it's not 100%. Do what you want not anyone else!

It not up to him how you feel it's your choice your feelings. Full stop.

Don't do things just for him!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Don't let a man put you under pressure for anything that you're not sure about.

It's not the way to conduct a loving relationship.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Hang on you've got meet veris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like everyone else has said really...if your not completely there then he should respect that...not make you feel pressurised or inadequate

If he doesn't respect your feelings then that raises a whole new set of questions...this is about a shared experience for couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hang on you've got meet veris

nice work Ms. Sleuth. Curious now!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

no experienced couple will go a head if someone in they're meeting is obviously not keen.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

You have couple veris... what makes the new couple different from the others??

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By *lassy pairCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich London

It seem the lufe style not for you so I guess knock it on the head

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By *heBlackPantherCouple
over a year ago

Guilford

"Hang on you've got meet veris

I was about to say.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

How can it be your first swinging encounter when you are displaying 6 verifications?

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

If your not happy insist on a neutral meet then you can say thanks but no thanks!

Simples ??

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By *aptivatingWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Could it be that "tink" has been slipped into "Mandy"'s place? Surely no man would be so crass?

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By *odramafunCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire/staffordshire

I am confused..... Veri's!?

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By *iz78Woman
over a year ago

wirral

"Could it be that "tink" has been slipped into "Mandy"'s place? Surely no man would be so crass?

A sloppy seconds profile?

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

[Removed by poster at 05/01/17 01:42:33]

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

"Could it be that "tink" has been slipped into "Mandy"'s place? Surely no man would be so crass?

A sloppy seconds profile?"

Although the cleavage pic is at the same time as 'mandy' in the verifications. Maybe tinks is with Peter in the August pic. The plot thickens!

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

"Hang on you've got meet veris

"
he probably meant to do this on his single female account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One to watch. Clarification required.

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

Thanks to all!! So far. The verifications we have are from people we've met purely on a social level!! As we had never swung before!!! And didn't have a clue!!! Thanks to these people we've met!! All helped us decide if swinging was something we both wanted to encounter!! All be it!! Slowly!! Lol.Together!!! But now he wants to speed things up.And change the rules!!!! We both set in the beginning.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks to all!! So far. The verifications we have are from people we've met purely on a social level!! As we had never swung before!!! And didn't have a clue!!! Thanks to these people we've met!! All helped us decide if swinging was something we both wanted to encounter!! All be it!! Slowly!! Lol.Together!!! But now he wants to speed things up.And change the rules!!!! We both set in the beginning."

Your verifications are very misleading.

The only suggestion I have is talk to your partner and don't be pressured in to anything.

When we've met people socially and its obvious pressure has been applied we don't meet again. It's not fair on anybody and if someone will apply pressure to their nearest and dearest they'll have no problem applying it to someone else.

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

The last couple on our veri's are our first!!! We've actually shared any fun with.All 3 want to speed things up now!!! Really starting to cause problems,because I won't rush things!!!And if I'm unhappy about something and I say!! Don't I know it!!! For fear of not being mentally ready,and screwing it up for everyone!!! I can't do right for doing wrong!!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

No one should be pushing you to do anything you 100% want . If your partner is getting impatient and you aren't comfortable I'd take a break from the site before it starts ruining your relationship.

Secondly if you are still not 100% sure swinging is for you after over a year and meeting then I'd be seriously thinking it's not. If you have "the perfect cpl " to take things further then ask yourself the gard question ..why haven't you ! Maybe you like the idea of swinging or maybe soft play .That's fine but be honest with yourself and your partner.

Also your latest verifications also very confusing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The last couple on our veri's are our first!!! We've actually shared any fun with.All 3 want to speed things up now!!! Really starting to cause problems,because I won't rush things!!!And if I'm unhappy about something and I say!! Don't I know it!!! For fear of not being mentally ready,and screwing it up for everyone!!! I can't do right for doing wrong!!!

So all three are applying pressure.

Show them this thread and point out that they'll get a bad reputation.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

No offence but it sounds like your partner is being very pushy and selfish. I would never ever make Miss feel under pressure to do anything she wasnt 100% comfortable with. Its about both of us being happy and if she isnt completely happy with something then I wont be. I wouldnt expect her to do something just to please me. Jack.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Only one side of the story though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed!!!

You can fix everything by simply using fewer exclamation marks

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

Yes,it only one side!! Lol. But u won't get his side cos he dosnt do fab!!! I do all communication arranging.His words:I'm better at all this!!He can't put things into words! Like I can!! Lol. Typical!! Lol. Just bloody lazy!! Really,lol. We were only gonna play together!!! All 4 together or just us girls. Now threesomes talk cropping up!!! That was never in the running!! At least till wed got all the 1sts out of the way.

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

I'm just being honest!!! It is becoming a problem and I really just needed some help from people that know!! That's all!!! I'd never air my problems in public! Usually. I'm desperate to stop things going desperately wrong!!! For all 4of us!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Yes,it only one side!! Lol. But u won't get his side cos he dosnt do fab!!! I do all communication arranging.His words:I'm better at all this!!He can't put things into words! Like I can!! Lol. Typical!! Lol. Just bloody lazy!! Really,lol. We were only gonna play together!!! All 4 together or just us girls. Now threesomes talk cropping up!!! That was never in the running!! At least till wed got all the 1sts out of the way."

So you are the one in full control of things and still not comfortable. I'm afraid you need to have a real honest look at things. This doesn't seem to be what YOU want .Swinging may not be for you and that's fine . You need to come off here ..have an honest talk to your husband and if then you BOTH want to continue you seriously need to set the bounderies you are both happy with. Your relationship must come first and at present you are damaging it .

I've been in the other cpls position when the other woman clearly wasn't happy to take things past about of girl girl play .... not fun to be put in that position as the other cpl. If after a cpl of meets you still not comfortable then speaks volumes doesn't it . Also they may well be walking on egg she's and worried about what they are doing wrong or should be doing.That's no fun trust me .

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

Im totally happy with moving on!!! The other women seems more interested with flirting and teasing! My man. He says that I need to make my move on her!! To distract her from him. But I don't know how.So even though we've met loads of times,if she don't move on me,nothing happens.i just feel she only interested in hubby. What do I do????

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'm just being honest!!! It is becoming a problem and I really just needed some help from people that know!! That's all!!! I'd never air my problems in public! Usually. I'm desperate to stop things going desperately wrong!!! For all 4of us!! "

The point is that we don't know. None of us know your partner or the other people you're talking about. We don't know their point of view or if they would be comfortable being discussed like this.

For what it's worth my advice is that none of you are ready for this as you're unable to communicate with each other.

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By *inkandpeter OP Couple
over a year ago

kent

I'm not happy,discussing it on here!! And I have tried talking to people concerned!! More times than I should of needed to!Thought independent opinions might of helped.lol. Didn't know what else to do!! Well my head telling me the obvious!! But my heart is clinging on!! But Thank you!! Everyone!!! For ur input!

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Your verifications say the second time you played with the couple was July. Seems like you have already had six months to think about it. When do you think you will come to a decision?

Sally

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Im totally happy with moving on!!! The other women seems more interested with flirting and teasing! My man. He says that I need to make my move on her!! To distract her from him. But I don't know how.So even though we've met loads of times,if she don't move on me,nothing happens.i just feel she only interested in hubby. What do I do????"

I'm sorry but I'd be scared of making any move on you as would be worried about pushing you and scaring you off!!! If you have issues with her being interested in your hubby again if you dont show her interest sexually rather than platonic then of course shed not take it further .

You keep saying you want to take things further but then that your not happy with this that and the other ,feel pressured not got your head straight . Talk about mixed signals !!!

Go off the site... actually be honest with yourself .... talk talk and talk some more with your husband and then decide if swinging is the way forward or not. But you need as I say to be honest with yourself .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck her off.

Start again.

If someone isn't catering for both your needs it will end in tears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to all sit down & discuss the rules of play.

What are you expectations, what are theirs? Soft play / full swap / you're bi-curious your man is straight, what are they??

See where i'm going with this?

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"I'm not happy,discussing it on here!! And I have tried talking to people concerned!! More times than I should of needed to!Thought independent opinions might of helped.lol. Didn't know what else to do!! Well my head telling me the obvious!! But my heart is clinging on!! But Thank you!! Everyone!!! For ur input! "

If you are talking that much over it as you said then seems to me you are trying to talk yourself in to it .

If your that conflicted step away from the site !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication is key to everything, of you can't communicate with each other or the other couple this scenario has disaster written all over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You and hubby need to sit down and talk, he should not be trying to push you into anything this is meant to be fun for both of you. And if he is trying to change the rules before anything has even happened then things are not going to go well. You need to set out your rules and boundaries and make sure this couple are fully aware of them as well. And if you think this other woman is more interested in your husband than maybe find another couple.

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

Don't be pushed into anything you don't want x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed!!!

Never be pushed into anything until you're 100% ready. Saying that, if you really want to do something but feel apprehensive, then maybe just have a social first. Go and have some drinks with a no pressure element, let things happen naturally.

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

As other have said, don't be pushed into anything you're not 100% comfortable with.

Although I will add: Your first veri is from 18 months ago. If you're not ready now I don't know if you'll ever be. You definitely need to sit down and talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't let a man put you under pressure for anything that you're not sure about.

It's not the way to conduct a loving relationship."

This, exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, the veri's suggest you've already progressed well beyond that stage... care to explain?

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By *eifer2010Man
over a year ago

Poole

It seems that you have dabbled and played with couples without penetration possibly? Hence the veri's but your hesitant about letting another man fuck you...stop me if i'm wrong. You both need to be interested and turned on by it, if not then its just his fantasy. Maybe set some rules or soft swing with own partners until you want to switch it up. Its just safe sex and you can stop halfway if its not for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alternatively you can disable your fab account, forget about swinging and happily get on with your life. This site is all about having fun and it's evident you're in a spin about the whole thing which is clearly making you unhappy. Life is complicated, but having fun with others shouldn't be. Good Luck x

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