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"DON'T DO IT" Simple | |||
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"And how does she feel about you " She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong..." When is timing ever right to fall for someone | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... When is timing ever right to fall for someone " Yep I know... | |||
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"Happened to me years ago and I learned one thing from the experience; There's a big difference between a fuck buddy and a buddy who you fuck, ie. friend with benefits. When you just meet for sex you are fuck buddies, but when you start hanging out you become buddies who fuck. Then you put yourself in a position where falling for the other is a possibility. Spending non sexual time with someone can do that to you. My only advice is to tell her, otherwise you will be tormenting yourself. I'd rather know there's nothing there then to keep building my hopes. Hope it works out for you." We've spent as much time doing non-sexual things as fucking each other rotten... I may have to take a break from here to sort my shit out and get it together... | |||
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"Isn't good " in what way....? its ok to love you know I love the old boy who works for me I've known him since I was 16. I've fallen in true love 5 times in my life and you know what it did me know harm in fact the experiences enriched my life and hopefully made me a more understanding man . did I can hurt yes but so what everything that's worth experiencing has a down side that's how you know it was special by the way it makes you feel good and bad . | |||
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"We've all been there " Yes we have xx | |||
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"Happened to me years ago and I learned one thing from the experience; There's a big difference between a fuck buddy and a buddy who you fuck, ie. friend with benefits. When you just meet for sex you are fuck buddies, but when you start hanging out you become buddies who fuck. Then you put yourself in a position where falling for the other is a possibility. Spending non sexual time with someone can do that to you. My only advice is to tell her, otherwise you will be tormenting yourself. I'd rather know there's nothing there then to keep building my hopes. Hope it works out for you. We've spent as much time doing non-sexual things as fucking each other rotten... I may have to take a break from here to sort my shit out and get it together... " That's what I meant when I said spending non sexual time with someone; you are no longer your fuck buddies, you are buddies who fuck and that's when the possibility of falling for the other becomes real. It clearly happened to you both. As I said, I hope it works out for you. | |||
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"Isn't good " Me too. I fell for my FWB hook, line and sinker XXX | |||
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"Isn't good " Why not? Ur sharing a very intimate act so it's only natural. You and they have chosen to let barriers down and accept u . It happens just accept it see where it leads | |||
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"that's what rules are for any sign whatsoever and its over straight away our loyalty is too each other hence the rules?? " this all day long any clingy-ness or signs of emotions (apart from sexual ones) then its stopped str8 away... im here with my husband because we have the most amazing relationship and the fact we can talk about and do as we please within our rules.. im not going to throw that away for anyone .. but if you are 2 singles that fall for one another and no one gets hurt then carry on as thats totally normal in any walk of life | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong..." In what sense? | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? " Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo... | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo..." If you have really fallen for someone as in properly love them the time "is" actually right. Don't pass up on the opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you feel able to walk away that isn't what they are. | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo... If you have really fallen for someone as in properly love them the time "is" actually right. Don't pass up on the opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you feel able to walk away that isn't what they are." She's denying how she feels and ignoring it,so there isn't a lot I can do-except maybe cutting all contact... | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo... If you have really fallen for someone as in properly love them the time "is" actually right. Don't pass up on the opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you feel able to walk away that isn't what they are. She's denying how she feels and ignoring it,so there isn't a lot I can do-except maybe cutting all contact..." I'm sorry . Nothing else you can do really. | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo... If you have really fallen for someone as in properly love them the time "is" actually right. Don't pass up on the opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you feel able to walk away that isn't what they are. She's denying how she feels and ignoring it,so there isn't a lot I can do-except maybe cutting all contact... I'm sorry . Nothing else you can do really. " Well,I'd certainly find out if her feelings for me are strong enough to not let me walk away... | |||
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"I've lost three because they fell for me, it wasn't mutual so I didn't want to lead them on. Shame as the sex was great " Same here | |||
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"We've all been there " Yep, once bitten twice shy x | |||
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"I hear lots of people recently saying "It is what it is" so if the feeling is mutual why deny yourselves the best part, the exciting part, the novelty part, it only happens at the start, and a year down the line all of that will be over, so what I am trying to say is, enjoy the moment, go for it, if it doesn't work out then say adios, I've had a blast." I guess some people can't handle the not working out part,and are too scared to let their guard down and go for something that could be amazing. Quite frankly,if she doesn't have the courage to go for it,then she's probably not the one for me anyway... I will get over the sting of knowing that we could be amazing together,but ultimately get over it | |||
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"I hear lots of people recently saying "It is what it is" so if the feeling is mutual why deny yourselves the best part, the exciting part, the novelty part, it only happens at the start, and a year down the line all of that will be over, so what I am trying to say is, enjoy the moment, go for it, if it doesn't work out then say adios, I've had a blast. I guess some people can't handle the not working out part,and are too scared to let their guard down and go for something that could be amazing. Quite frankly,if she doesn't have the courage to go for it,then she's probably not the one for me anyway... I will get over the sting of knowing that we could be amazing together,but ultimately get over it " but if she isn't the one for you you wouldn't have been amazing together. Could it be possible that you're seeing more in this than actually exists? | |||
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"I hear lots of people recently saying "It is what it is" so if the feeling is mutual why deny yourselves the best part, the exciting part, the novelty part, it only happens at the start, and a year down the line all of that will be over, so what I am trying to say is, enjoy the moment, go for it, if it doesn't work out then say adios, I've had a blast. I guess some people can't handle the not working out part,and are too scared to let their guard down and go for something that could be amazing. Quite frankly,if she doesn't have the courage to go for it,then she's probably not the one for me anyway... I will get over the sting of knowing that we could be amazing together,but ultimately get over it but if she isn't the one for you you wouldn't have been amazing together. Could it be possible that you're seeing more in this than actually exists?" If she doesn't have the courage to go for it then she isn't for me. We've spent a lot of non-sex time together,like a normal couple would,and we have a very strong connection.She's just scared... | |||
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"I hear lots of people recently saying "It is what it is" so if the feeling is mutual why deny yourselves the best part, the exciting part, the novelty part, it only happens at the start, and a year down the line all of that will be over, so what I am trying to say is, enjoy the moment, go for it, if it doesn't work out then say adios, I've had a blast. I guess some people can't handle the not working out part,and are too scared to let their guard down and go for something that could be amazing. Quite frankly,if she doesn't have the courage to go for it,then she's probably not the one for me anyway... I will get over the sting of knowing that we could be amazing together,but ultimately get over it but if she isn't the one for you you wouldn't have been amazing together. Could it be possible that you're seeing more in this than actually exists? If she doesn't have the courage to go for it then she isn't for me. We've spent a lot of non-sex time together,like a normal couple would,and we have a very strong connection.She's just scared... " is she on fab? If so you need to stop talking about her in the forum, if not you need to talk to her and accept what she says. | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! " Can't you just carry on as you are then? Just enjoying each others company? | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... In what sense? Divorce,kids stuff etc Head having to be focused on other stuff at the mo... If you have really fallen for someone as in properly love them the time "is" actually right. Don't pass up on the opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you feel able to walk away that isn't what they are. She's denying how she feels and ignoring it,so there isn't a lot I can do-except maybe cutting all contact..." If she's denying it then maybe she's not in as deep as you are??? | |||
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"We've all been there " Not all of us | |||
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"Isn't good " You can't stop feeling those things but you can choose to act on them or not. Good luck. | |||
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"Isn't good " It's fine if they feel the same way. If not it's shit - because you get lovely reminders via veris etc every time they fuck someone else and have an amazing time! Fab can be wonderful and amazing but it can also be unintentionally cruel! | |||
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"We fell for each other and yes communication is everything, the non sex times are every bit as exciting and stimulating as the amazing sex we both share together. Before you ask we have been together seven years with no regrets at all so heres to the next seven and more." This is the thing,our non sex time is every bit as good as the amazing sex. We've spent a full weekend together,been out to eat loads,a social engagement and all sorts-like a normal couple! | |||
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"Keep them at arms length. I must be a cold-hearted bitch, because I never have any feelings for mine and I have a few. One says he adores me; I'll allow that. " Snap! I don't think of them as FBs or FWBs - just guys I enjoy fucking on a semi-regular basis. If any develop feelings beyond adoration in the bedroom I cut them loose | |||
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"We met as singles looking for NSA. It quickly transpired that wasn't going to be Luckily we both felt the same and are happily in love and looking forward to a long and happy future together " | |||
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"We met as singles looking for NSA. It quickly transpired that wasn't going to be Luckily we both felt the same and are happily in love and looking forward to a long and happy future together " I like seeing things lieke this coz i don't get why people say you shouldn't fall for a fb or fwb. Even if you're already married why can't you embrace polygamy as well? Is that really all there is to swinging, just using someone else for your own selfish needs and not caring about them? If so, why? | |||
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"We met as singles looking for NSA. It quickly transpired that wasn't going to be Luckily we both felt the same and are happily in love and looking forward to a long and happy future together I like seeing things lieke this coz i don't get why people say you shouldn't fall for a fb or fwb. Even if you're already married why can't you embrace polygamy as well? Is that really all there is to swinging, just using someone else for your own selfish needs and not caring about them? If so, why?" Same here. I'm very fond of the people I see and play with, and still think about past playmates with affection too.xx | |||
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"I think the thing is that when one or both of you have a partner it gets complex . When the situation sees the fb/fwb relationship putting the partner second The big decision needs to be made and kept to no matter who gets hurt , honesty is important" It shouldn't though. Why can't you be in love with more than one person? I love all of my kids, if i didn't people would think i was weird. And no-one has ever been asked to stop having kids after the first because they wouldn't be capable of loving any more. Not specific to you at all. Just questioning this way of thinking overall. | |||
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"I think the thing is that when one or both of you have a partner it gets complex . When the situation sees the fb/fwb relationship putting the partner second The big decision needs to be made and kept to no matter who gets hurt , honesty is important It shouldn't though. Why can't you be in love with more than one person? I love all of my kids, if i didn't people would think i was weird. And no-one has ever been asked to stop having kids after the first because they wouldn't be capable of loving any more. Not specific to you at all. Just questioning this way of thinking overall." My understanding of a poly relationship is that it is balanced When the relationship with the fb/fwb becomes THE relationship that's not balanced | |||
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"It is definitely a difficult one mate, I feel for you " I know how it feels had mine for 11 months but had to break the tie Very painful | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! " Pet names means you should be together....sorry, but that part made me laugh. | |||
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"We started off as club buds but fell for each other. Problem comes when one wants to still swing n the other doesn't xx" I often wonder why couples do in this scenario. | |||
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"We started off as club buds but fell for each other. Problem comes when one wants to still swing n the other doesn't xx I often wonder why couples do in this scenario." *what couples | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! Pet names means you should be together....sorry, but that part made me laugh. " Glad it amuses you | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! Pet names means you should be together....sorry, but that part made me laugh. Glad it amuses you " Just the pet name part, it seemed strange that you would use the fact you call someone a pet name, as an indicator that you should be together. Surely there are much more significant things than that. I certainly wasn't laughing at your situation. | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! Pet names means you should be together....sorry, but that part made me laugh. Glad it amuses you Just the pet name part, it seemed strange that you would use the fact you call someone a pet name, as an indicator that you should be together. Surely there are much more significant things than that. I certainly wasn't laughing at your situation." Taken out of context like you did,it sounds ridiculous.It was one of a few more things mentioned in the sentence tho! | |||
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"Thanks for the replies. We've discussed it,and she says she isn't ready,but that she's into me,and has feelings for me. I know on the face of that it sounds like she doesn't think we're a match. However when you spend the amount of time together that we have and you have gentle non sexual touches,and you get told you have perfect this and that,and have pet names for each other,then you know that you should be together... Sometimes life's timing is a bitch! Pet names means you should be together....sorry, but that part made me laugh. Glad it amuses you Just the pet name part, it seemed strange that you would use the fact you call someone a pet name, as an indicator that you should be together. Surely there are much more significant things than that. I certainly wasn't laughing at your situation. Taken out of context like you did,it sounds ridiculous.It was one of a few more things mentioned in the sentence tho! " True hope you get things sorted, it's not a good position to be me, I've been there and had my heart broke. But whatever happens, it'll all work out in the end x | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! " But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them. | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them." Yeah I suppose that's also true! Some people can just fuck anyone with no feelings at all, that isn't me! | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them. Yeah I suppose that's also true! Some people can just fuck anyone with no feelings at all, that isn't me! " Sex without any emotion is pretty pointless and boring to me Been with my playmate nearly 4 yrs now and I love him to bits and we have a great laugh out of bed as well as in it Would even go as far as saying he's my best friend but I would never expect anything more than what we've got as it's perfect just the way it is A X | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them. Yeah I suppose that's also true! Some people can just fuck anyone with no feelings at all, that isn't me! Sex without any emotion is pretty pointless and boring to me Been with my playmate nearly 4 yrs now and I love him to bits and we have a great laugh out of bed as well as in it Would even go as far as saying he's my best friend but I would never expect anything more than what we've got as it's perfect just the way it is A X " I think the love for a FWB is a bit different to say true love as it's described | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them. Yeah I suppose that's also true! Some people can just fuck anyone with no feelings at all, that isn't me! Sex without any emotion is pretty pointless and boring to me Been with my playmate nearly 4 yrs now and I love him to bits and we have a great laugh out of bed as well as in it Would even go as far as saying he's my best friend but I would never expect anything more than what we've got as it's perfect just the way it is A X I think the love for a FWB is a bit different to say true love as it's described " Depends how you define it. Mine started with a little fun. But then chatted for hours. But nice try | |||
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"There's always going to be feelings involved, if you're intimate and passionate with each other! But it's up I'm not convinced on that one. Personally, I have to like a person before I go further, but for a lot of people, it's sex with no feelings, it's just doing the physical act to them. Yeah I suppose that's also true! Some people can just fuck anyone with no feelings at all, that isn't me! Sex without any emotion is pretty pointless and boring to me Been with my playmate nearly 4 yrs now and I love him to bits and we have a great laugh out of bed as well as in it Would even go as far as saying he's my best friend but I would never expect anything more than what we've got as it's perfect just the way it is A X I think the love for a FWB is a bit different to say true love as it's described Depends how you define it. Mine started with a little fun. But then chatted for hours. But nice try " Well a FWB is exactly that a friend, so I agree love can play a part on it but a partner with true love is different there is a committed future investment emotionally as with a FWB the future together is only as long as the fun lasts, even declaring love cam end that, so there must be a difference xx | |||
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"And how does she feel about you She has feelings,has told me so,but like I said above-the timing is all wrong... When is timing ever right to fall for someone " the timing will never be rite. There is never a good time especially if someone innocent is going to be hurt. All you have to think is life is short. Be happy. Be honest and be true to your loved ones. X | |||
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"When you have regular sex with individuals it's inevitable you start loving them and I know I really do love some of the men I sleep with on a regular basis. The sex is passionate, the non-sex times are intimate and wonderful. What's important is to appreciate that it's a different sort of love than what society "expects" of us (i.e., monogamous love between 2 individuals). It's a love that allows you to let the other have independence to do other things, sleep with others and the beauty of that sort of love is that you express it (inevitably) with multiple lovers. " Spot on | |||
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"Thanks again for your replies,you lot aren't that bad after all Perhaps I do need to re-think how I see "love".We are very tactile with eachother,and I've never been like that with anyone else in all the years I've been doing this,so perhaps that has thrown my head out a bit??" I know exactly what you mean....I've had fbuddys in the past that wasn't very affectionate in fact would go as far as saying they treat me like crap ..but when I met S he was very affectionate and when we cuddled and chatted for ages after sex I did get very worried as I wasn't used to that kind of intimacy from a fb and it messed with my head till we talked about it and it turns out hes just a very lovely caring guy and now and it adds to our meets ... 4 yrs on and we prefer to call ourselves playmates as we don't have other fbuddies and we would remain good friends if the sex ever had to stop Try talking to her before you just decide to walk away cuz she may just put a brave face on and say ok without meaning it A x | |||
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"It ends in years" it sure does. I did this very recently. No one wins. But. You carnt help feelings i suppose. | |||
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"Isn't good " Been there, done that. She was married too Yep, I always was a fool... | |||
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