FabSwingers.com forum: Being nice.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I fucking love honest people, not wooly "nice for the sake it" bollocks, people always say...Manners cost nothing etc, true but blunt honesty is far more valuable!!!

Just say it as it is!! So many people sit on the fence and think it will boost their popularity by "being nice" it's actually a very devious and slimy tactic..

So be brave and be honest in 2017, once the sting eases people will actually thank you..I respect people who are brave enough to lay it down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I'll give my best shot.

I hate you, you are so arrogant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like being nice but people too often sacrifice their values and real opinions for the sake of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends thogh, brutally honest is not always appropriate. Especially here when you don't have body language and voice tone to show it's sarcastic or jokey etc. The written word can come across harsher without those.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a naturally nice person or so I like to think

but I will also say it like it is but in the nicest possible way! Does that count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends thogh, brutally honest is not always appropriate. Especially here when you don't have body language and voice tone to show it's sarcastic or jokey etc. The written word can come across harsher without those."

So true this...I prefer honesty although you can be honest without being brutal with it after all everyone has feelings and being brutal can really hurt people at times...so honest but in a polite way is best for me unless I'm with people that know me..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like being nice but people too often sacrifice their values and real opinions for the sake of it. "

Well put, so true and so many people then go around bitching about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok I'll give my best shot.

I hate you, you are so arrogant! "

Good call!!...At least I don't hide away.

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

You can say what you mean without being mean. You don't have to sugar coat things but if you are a cunt about how you communicate, people will just concentrate on you being a cunt rather than what you are trying to say.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I don't like being too nice; it makes me feel slimy

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I've already decided that there will be none of this new year new me stuff. Im going to become a selfish cow and enjoy it!

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

These... If only people were honest all the time, not just forums, private messages, but real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I'm over 40 I'm officially in the no fucks are given about what people think of me camp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a lot of foeumites will of no doubt realised I'm very outwardly spoken and can discuss controversial subjects, where I often end up getting a lot of grief over and negative comments thrown at me including being sworn at.

However I'm genuinely a really, really nice caring person, so I always try to keep my posts polite and still show respect for those who have difference of opinions to me.

You can be brutally honest about your opinions in these forums but still be pleasant with it, but that's obviously beyond some people's intellectual capability.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now I'm over 40 I'm officially in the no fucks are given about what people think of me camp

Good for you, I'm the same and still like to be respectful to others

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By *ouple4biMMFCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Blunt honesty is all well and good,but not when it's just to say something damn right rude and hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These... If only people were honest all the time, not just forums, private messages, but real life. "

That will never ever happen in life, and sometimes lies are told to protect people, although that theory doesn't always work, but lies can be told with good intentions.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You can be honest on here without being brutal about it. The top forum rule should be 'attack the post, not the poster' if you disagree with them. However on here I find people doing the latter more, which makes for a bad atmosphere.

I have never tried to be 'nice' on here, and all the love in posts and flirting can set my teeth on edge. However I just avoid those posts and post advice etc where I think it would be of benefit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a lot of foeumites will of no doubt realised I'm very outwardly spoken and can discuss controversial subjects, where I often end up getting a lot of grief over and negative comments thrown at me including being sworn at.

However I'm genuinely a really, really nice caring person, so I always try to keep my posts polite and still show respect for those who have difference of opinions to me.

You can be brutally honest about your opinions in these forums but still be pleasant with it, but that's obviously beyond some people's intellectual capability. "

It's beyond some people's intelligent NOT to be offended, especially when they are soley used to sychophants/clique members fawning over them.

I don't think your points are bad at all. I just disagree with the cheating points you made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can be honest on here without being brutal about it. The top forum rule should be 'attack the post, not the poster' if you disagree with them. However on here I find people doing the latter more, which makes for a bad atmosphere.

I have never tried to be 'nice' on here, and all the love in posts and flirting can set my teeth on edge. However I just avoid those posts and post advice etc where I think it would be of benefit."

I thought I was the only one who disliked that! It reminds me of the dream funeral scene in Brazil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However I'm genuinely a really, really nice caring person, so I always try to keep my posts polite and still show respect for those who have difference of opinions to me.

You can be brutally honest about your opinions in these forums but still be pleasant with it, but that's obviously beyond some people's intellectual capability.

It's beyond some people's intelligent NOT to be offended, especially when they are soley used to sychophants/clique members fawning over them.

I don't think your points are bad at all. I just disagree with the cheating points you made."

That's good, would be a boring world if everyone thought the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucking love honest people, not wooly "nice for the sake it" bollocks, people always say...Manners cost nothing etc, true but blunt honesty is far more valuable!!!

Just say it as it is!! So many people sit on the fence and think it will boost their popularity by "being nice" it's actually a very devious and slimy tactic..

So be brave and be honest in 2017, once the sting eases people will actually thank you..I respect people who are brave enough to lay it down."

Say it as it is = 'in my opinion....' this approach usually shows some emotional intelligence and a certain level of rationality - they are good qualities for potential swinging friends and that keeps us interested, has us sending messages, exchanging _iews and gets us a few steps nearer to arranging a meet.

Brutal honesty = from a trusted friend this can be a bit painful at the time but can help us to learn something about ourselves or about how others see us - but brutal honesty from a stranger on fabs is not sexy, not helpful, not friendly and is not what we are on here for.....

you can be honest, nice and polite

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London&Dublin

It's the art of being honest tactfully.

So difficult.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'll know it when I find it.

I like honest people. I really can't be doing with falsity and niceness when there's a lack of genuine behind it - you can hear it when you read it and it reads poorly.

I find that passive aggression also happens a lot on the forums and that makes my eyes roll.

I guess next year I will continue being nice to those I like and as cuntish on here as I am in real life to those I am indifferent to.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I have good manners, I'm a nice person and I like clear communication but I take no pleasure from upsetting others or being offensive so I don't do it. What is blunt to one person is rude to another. I feel that when someone says 'I'm just being honest' quite often it is a means to justify an unnecessary comment. Be honest by all means but think about the way it's put. You can get a point across without being rude, cruel or offensive.

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have good manners, I'm a nice person and I like clear communication but I take no pleasure from upsetting others or being offensive so I don't do it. What is blunt to one person is rude to another. I feel that when someone says 'I'm just being honest' quite often it is a means to justify an unnecessary comment. Be honest by all means but think about the way it's put. You can get a point across without being rude, cruel or offensive.

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am. "

I'm loving your attitude

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am.

I'm loving your attitude

Thank you x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Now I'm over 40 I'm officially in the no fucks are given about what people think of me camp

Good for you, I'm the same and still like to be respectful to others

This!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am.

I'm loving your attitude

Jesus..stop being so nice the pair of you..???

You hang up...

No YOU hang up...

Ec...set..er..rah!!

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

The ones who come across as really nice are often the ones you should avoid at all costs, think about jimmy savile just as an example, seemed like one of the nicest men you would ever wish to meet.

Where as people who are just themselves and dont put on an act are more likely to be the ones who are ok a lot of the time.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am.

I'm loving your attitude

Jesus..stop being so nice the pair of you..???

You hang up...

No YOU hang up...

Ec...set..er..rah!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I won't be changing the way I am in 2017, not on Fab or in real life. My manner has served me well so I shall continue as I am.

I'm loving your attitude

Jesus..stop being so nice the pair of you..???

You hang up...

No YOU hang up...

Ec...set..er..rah!!

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

There's honesty, then there's tact and manners. Sometimes they just don't match up.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

One person's honesty isn't always another's. Then people get honesty and opinion confused.

If someone asks for an honest opinion on something important, then tactfully expressed it can be very useful. Taking pride in expressing one's own unasked for negative opinion to the possible detriment of another person isn't.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

I can't say I'm a nice person because I do have my moments. But I do try my best to be polite and if I have nothing pleasant to say, I tend to keep my gob shut and say nothing at all! Some people may think I'm ignoring them but it's just my way of being polite.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'll just continue to be me and if that comes with a soupçon of empathy, a smattering of swearing and occasional mild-mannered piss-taking then fuck it, that's honestly who I am and it's far from brutal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day it cost nothing to be

NICE TO ANYONE

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"At the end of the day it cost nothing to be

NICE TO ANYONE "

I refuse to be nice to certain people, it would cost me my good opinion of myself.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"At the end of the day it cost nothing to be

NICE TO ANYONE "

I don't think I am nice. I'm just not needlessly nasty.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"At the end of the day it cost nothing to be

NICE TO ANYONE

I don't think I am nice. I'm just not needlessly nasty."

I agree with that as a principle to live by. Not that you're not nice obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like false or forced niceness, but a lot of the time rudeness is excused by "I'm just being honest" and I don't like that either.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Sitting on the fence

As if,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or the other saying

If you ve nothing nice to say about someone

Then say nothing at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or the other saying

If you ve nothing nice to say about someone

Then say nothing at all."

Load of balls that saying, our forefathers used to lay it down straight...Kids these days think they are owed the right to be amazing at everything just because 3 mates liked a post they put up, that's when the real world hits em hard..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's honesty, then there's tact and manners. Sometimes they just don't match up. "

you can be honest, tactful and have good manners - just takes a bit more effort, think about what you want to communicate to the other person, decide the best way to get the message across, use words that won't give offence, m x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blunt honesty can be an excuse for rudeness backed up by the "saying it as it is" expression.

Being overly nice all the time, can come across as false & makes me wonder what they're actually like / thinking deep down.

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